Daughter worried

vzrules

Hi everyone, sure never thought I'd be on here writing in a million years but it is necessary and you all seem like a circle of great women that can offer advice and wisdom. My mom was diagnosed with cancer in early January. We went to the 1st breast surgeon due to a lump my mom had int he right breast who performed core biopsy right away and a needle biopsy on the left one due to a sono and mamo report that the left had microcalcifications that looked suspecious. before ever having any reports, right in the office he said she had breast cancer in both breasts and can perform the surgery in a few weeks, but is unsure if she needs mastec or lumpec or what type of cancer it was, he also didn't send my mom for an MRI or anything else. But right breast came back negative and left needle showed cancer. We were very sceptical about this doc so we found a new one in NY who is regarded as a very good breast surgeon and specialist. She ordered my mom to have core biopsies of the right again and yesterday she had stereotactic biopsy of the left. The right came back DCIS but we don't know what stage or anything because we see the doctor next week and the nurse said she will go over everything with us there. The left breast (we know cancer is there due to fine needle) report will come by the end of this week. Her MRI of the right breast showed that there is suspicion in another part of the beast that needs another stereo biopsy. My mom is very upset to say the least and so am I-like many women I read on here do not want another biopsy. I would like to know if it is just better to have a mastec since it just seems like she's in a very complicated position with both of her breasts and why not just eliminate the risk of it all coming back since the cancer has just taken over? They said it is 2cm in the right breast (lump) and the microcalc's are a 5 cm plane.

I am very overwhelmed and wish I knew the right answer. My mom wants to go back to the first suregon who wanted to operate because she just wants it taken out with no further tests but I don't trust that doctor at all, I know he will be a bad choice but I wish I knew what to do. I know a mastectomy is an awful procedure but I just want my mom to be alright and with me and not worry that the cancer can come back another area of the breast. Of course, we are unsure of the lymph nodes at this point also.

Annabella58

I am so sorry you find yourself here, however, that said, it is the BEST group of women to help you and to help your mom.  Angels are on these boards.

OK, first, let's think of the options.  A mastectomy, while not a walk in the park, is very doable..please reassure your mom (I had one, so have many others on here) that there are many reconstruction options.  I now have a better boob than I had before .  It is NOT your grandma's options anymore, nor is the treatment.  I had chemo (CMF) one of many types and worked all thru it, took vacations, did not lose my hair, never got sick....things are very do able these days.

Now for the cancer part.  I understand that of course, she just wants it taken out, but that first surgeon sounds like a right idiot.  I am sure that she did the best thing by going to the second one.  The second biopsies are VERY important, first, they will be done correctly, second, they will tell what kind, what stage, what type, specific qualities to specific treatment plans....all extremely important.  It's alot more specific than just "taking off the breast", simple as that sounds.

Now your mom, may choose not to recon and go breast free, many do.  However, with all the many great options there are for her to choose, it is best not to do anything until all the tests are in, she knows what she is dealing with, and she has a clear head.

They will want to test her lymph nodes.  It if turns out to be DCIS, this is a good thing, as often that means negative nodes.  That means non invasive cancer.  There is also invasive cancer, which did not go anywhere, which I had.  Also a good thing.  Even when nodes are positive, it is not terrible, simply that the (new dr. I hope) needs to know to target specific treatment plans.

Please go with your mom, and perhaps even bring another person too.  One person should bring a notebook and write everything down, as it is overwhelming!  It will be much, much better once you have all the info in place.

Post often, we are all here for you.  Best of luck to you and your mom!

Mel22125756

Sorry to hear about your Mom. I know at first everything is really confusing and your head just starts to spin. 

My advice is to take a little time getting answers to all the questions you have. Your Mom probably feels scared that it will spread and just wants to take care of it fast. It is worth it by far to take the time (if it's DCIS it's not invasive and shouldn't spread fast) to find the right surgeon and get the right answers. Make sure she has you or someone else at all of the appointments to take detailed notes. 

I was diagnosed over the phone with DCIS and saw a fantastic surgeon the next day. My DCIS was small and a lumpectomy with radiation was recommended. After much research on my own, consultations with two oncologists and a lot of thinking, I decided to have a mastectomy as a more aggressive approach. I didn't want to worry about recurrence, and with mastectomy I didn't need to have radiation. No, the mastectomy wasn't fun and I have minor issues with the reconstruction, but I don't regret my decision one bit. 

Everyones situation is different and there are many things to consider. With a little work, support from you and time to consider her options, your Mom will find the course of treatment that's right for her.  

I also dealt with my own Mom's ovarian cancer diagnosis and treatment this year, which was BY FAR worse than my breast cancer experience. We're both cancer free and doing great. I know what you're going through. It's overwhelming at first, but trust me it gets easier. 

The women on this forum have loads of great information and are very supportive. Try not to burn yourself out with too much information in one sitting. 

Feel free to PM me if you want. Good luck to you and your Mom!

Mel 

vzrules

Thank you both for the very kind words and more explanations. The first surgeon is a well known breast surgeon in NY, he was recognized as one of the best doctors in NY in New York Magazine but I don't know if that really is a reason to trust him. I'm glad this surgeon is ordering biopsies to figure out what is going on. My cousin is coming next week to speak with the doctor and I will be there also. It is overwhelming especially because I am in my early 20's. This is not about me and I am trying to do what I can to be there for my mom. Is breast reconstruction covered by insurance or out of pocket? And what is approximate price for that?

suzanneinphoenix

Breast recon will be covered by insurance.  Your Mom will have her deductible, copays....it depends on her insurance plan.  But whatever your Mom chooses to do, it will be considered medically necessary.  Hugs to you and your Mom.

Suzanne

mouse51

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.  She is very lucky to have you involved and supporting her right now.  I also have a daughter in her early 20's who was very supportive.  I understand that your mom wants to have surgery ASAP to have the cancer removed - this is a normal first reaction that most of us have had.  But it will probably be better if she takes the time to have the testing and to consult with several breast surgeons.  I had calcifications in several areas in my left breast and during the stereotactic biopsy procedure, only one area was able to be biopsied.  When the results came back as invasive ductal, after consulting with several breast surgeons, I chose to have a mastectomy and never did have a biopsy on the other area of calcifications.  When I was concerned with having to wait 5 weeks for my surgery, my breast surgeon reassured me that my tumor would probably grow very little, if at all, during that time period.  And he was right - when my tumor was removed it was the same size as it appeared on my MRI 6 weeks earlier.  I went on to have a prophylactic mastectomy on my other side and I just finished reconstruction a few months ago.  It is scary and stressful, but your Mom will be ok!   There are so many of us who have faced a breast cancer diagnosis and are now back to our normal lives.  Good Luck to you and your Mom!