For Otter
otter Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 5,076 | Mar 6, 2011 06:29 pm otter wrote: Friends, I really needed the laughs from your funny posts today. lindasa, I thought at first you'd said that Blue was especially well-behaved at your house; and I wasn't believing that for a minute. As for unfortunate dog names like "Dribbles", I had a very sweet dog in a previous life that had a nice, normal dog name. During private moments, I sometimes called her "Beans". It was just one of those sweet nicknames you make up sometimes that isn't meant to symbolize anything in particular. But, someone heard me call her "Beans" and assumed I'd named her that because she farted a lot. I was closely following all the hot stuff that was going on here and elsewhere last week; and then I got a phone call from someone telling me my mom had been injured and was in grave condition. She died the next day. One day she was here, and the next day she was simply gone. I walk around her house and see a jacket tossed over a chair, and her purse hanging on the doorknob, and the small casserole she was planning to heat for her supper that night. There's the laundry she had pulled out of the dryer and piled on her bed, to be folded later in the day; the breakfast dishes still in the sink; the table stacked with papers she had gathered as she worked on her taxes. I keep thinking she will come walking down the hall any minute now, asking what we would like for supper. We are having homemade chili for supper. It was delivered earlier today by one of my mom's neighbors, as friends and neighbors do at a time like this. There are 2 more heat-and-serve meals in the fridge. This really, really sux. I've been impatient with my mom about some things these past few months, but when I got that phone call and later saw her lying in that hospital bed, it's as if I aged 25 years in one day. There are so many things we didn't have a chance to finish.... I am sorry for such a downer of a post. I'd much rather share more dog stories and recipes for brussel sprouts. But, you know, when something like this happens, all of a sudden the snarkiness and hacking and deletions seem so darn unnecessary. Hugs to you all... otter Diagnosis: IDC, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- |
Comments
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Dear Otter, My deepest and sincerest sympathy for the loss of your mom. May your precious memories sustain you through this difficult time. You are in my prayers, Kathy
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Anne .. thank you for saving Otter's note about her mom.
Dear Otter .. sending you love and warm thoughts in your time of sorrow.
hugs,
Bren
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Thinking of you, Dear ((((((((((((((Otter))))))))))))))
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Diagnosis: IDC, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- BinVA 
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,284Mar 6, 2011 06:33 pm BinVA wrote: Oh dear Otter .. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person. I know how bad it hurts to lose your parent. There is such a huge void in your life when it happens.
Sending you love and hugs,
Bren
208sandy
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 256Mar 6, 2011 06:35 pm 208sandy wrote: Dear Otter:
I don't think there is a worse feeling in the world than losing your mother (mine died when I was 25 and I still cry 40 years later when I talk about her) - I lost my dh last year and it flattened me but there's something about a mother's death that is different - and the way your mom died you had no time to prepare - my deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Sandy
iodine 
TN
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 8,232Mar 6, 2011 06:35 pm iodine wrote: Oh, Otter, I am so very, very sorry. There is nothing like loosing one's mom. My heart hurts for you.
Dotti---BE NOT AFRAID, Pope John Paulcovertanjou... 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 311Mar 6, 2011 06:38 pm covertanjou wrote: Otter, I am very sorry to hear your news (((((HUGS))))). My deepest sympathies.
Mary
Diagnosis: LCIS, Stage 0CherrylH
Oak Park, IL
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 911Mar 6, 2011 06:38 pm CherrylH wrote: Otter,
Holding you and your family in prayer. I am so sorry for your loss.
River_Rat 
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 185Mar 6, 2011 06:39 pm, edited Mar 6, 2011 06:48 PM by River_Rat River_Rat wrote: This Post was deleted by River_Rat. bluedahlia 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,117Mar 6, 2011 06:39 pm bluedahlia wrote: ((((((Otter))))) I'm so sorry for your loss. You have such a way with words, my heart hurts for you right now. Take care my friend.
I am a Proud Canadian!WhiteRabbit... 
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 87Mar 6, 2011 06:42 pm WhiteRabbit wrote: otter ... I am so sorry for your loss.
Sending you (((hugs))) and wishing I had more to offer in your time of grief.
River_Rat
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 185Mar 6, 2011 06:47 pm River_Rat wrote: Otter, I'm so sorry. It is so hard to lose someone you love and yet even harder when it is unexpected. But in either case I don't think that we ever feel "finished". There's always more you wish you could say. My heart goes out to you.
I was working on my post when you posted.
Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols -
Mar 7, 2011 07:05 am Sharon50 wrote:
I'm so sorry Otter. I offer my deepest sympathy and hugs.
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Oh, Otter, I am so sad to hear this and know you
are hurting...sending hugs...
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Esti
Toronto, ON
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 22Mar 6, 2011 06:55 pm, edited Mar 6, 2011 06:57 PM by Esti Esti wrote: 
Otter,My condolences to you. I'm sure that your mother knew that you loved her, and that's the most important thing.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.
Diagnosis: 6/1/2010, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 2, 2/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- -
I am trying to copy all the posts to preserve them.
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ADK .. thank you so much .. what a lovely thing to do for Otter.
Bren
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Beesie 
Toronto, CANADA
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 5,220Mar 6, 2011 06:57 pm Beesie wrote: otter, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is horrible under any circumstance but to have it happen so suddenly and with no warning is heart-wrenching. Sending you ((((hugs)))) along with condolences to you and your family. Dx 9/15/2005, DCIS 6cm+ Grade 3 w/ IDC microinvasion, Stage I, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR- rosemary-b 
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 400Mar 6, 2011 06:57 pm rosemary-b wrote: Oh Otter
I wish I could say something to make you feel better. It is so hard to lose a parent.
Diagnosis: 2/25/2007, IDC, Stage I, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+enjoyful 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 996Mar 6, 2011 07:04 pm enjoyful wrote: My condolences to you, sweet Otter. Huge hugs.
E
Never criticize a person until you walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away...and you'll have their shoes.
Diagnosis: 8/28/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 1/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-Medigal
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 916Mar 6, 2011 07:05 pm Medigal wrote: Otter: My deepest condolences to you on the passing of your mom. Unexpected passings are the hardest to cope with because you can't say "goodbye" the way you need to. May you have the strength to cope in the days and years to come. Your mom's sudden passing makes everything else pale in contrast. So sorry for your lost.
notself
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,055Mar 6, 2011 07:11 pm notself wrote: Otter,
I cry for you. No one is ever old enough to lose their mom. I still miss mine.
Dx 8/07,IDC, 2.4cm, Stage IIa, Grd 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+PR+Her2 -+ --It is impossible to live a pleasant life without living wisely and well and justly. It is impossible to live wisely and well and justly without living a pleasant life. EpicurusAlpal
KY
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,078Mar 6, 2011 07:18 pm Alpal wrote: Dear Otter - Heartfelt condolences and warm hugs. I'm thinking about you.
Allison
Diagnosis: 7/2008, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-YramAL 
Shoreline, WA
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 326Mar 6, 2011 07:19 pm YramAL wrote: Dear Otter-
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. We're never too old to still need our moms.
The picture of the Otter mom and baby is precious.
Mary
Mary-Oncotype Score 11
Diagnosis: 12/7/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-konakat 
Ottawa, ON
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,624Mar 6, 2011 07:20 pm konakat wrote: I'm so very sorry Otter.
Hugs,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth's Mantra: When in doubt, eat cake. When you haven't a clue, add ice cream. Elizabeth's Mets: Liver, bones, brain (yuck), and lungs (more yuck).
Diagnosis: 5/2007, ILC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 13/19 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+AnnNYC
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,605Mar 6, 2011 07:21 pm AnnNYC wrote: Oh, Otter, I am so sorry. I'm sending you all the hugs and tears and wishes I can. Please be very gentle with yourself -- your description of your Mom's house is so vivid -- remembering how I felt when my Dad died, it was as though time had stopped, or things were oddly muffled, or the earth had stopped rotating. I hope you and your husband can take it very easy until you feel like the earth has started spinning again. ((((((((((((((( Otter ))))))))))))))
Diagnosis: 3/9/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-lindasa 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,970Mar 6, 2011 07:27 pm lindasa wrote: Dear Otter, I'm so glad you posted. One of your pals already told me but I had no way of sending you my condolences. Last year I turned the same age as my mother when she passed away -- and I thought "Oh, she had so much wisdom -- where's mine?" Her BC had metasticised and her last few days were in a coma -- I had a very long conversation with her by phone the night before the coma, but I thought I would be seeing her in a few days. That was 40 year ago, and I still remember the conversation....
Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into my story -- but many of us here know approximately how you're feeling right now, and I know our hearts go out to you and your family.
Sending you many hugs, Linda
Fear is the most powerful enemy of reason.
Diagnosis: 1/10/2008, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-ADK 
MA
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,208Mar 6, 2011 07:30 pm ADK wrote: (((Otter)))
I don't have enough words to console you. Losing your mother is the worst time in anyone's life. I am so sorry.....
Anne [Edit] [Delete] -
((((Hugs)))), otter. My thoughts are with you.
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mfrog 
An Island in the Paciic, BC
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 305Mar 6, 2011 07:32 pm mfrog wrote: Oh Otter, I'm so sorry about your mom.
Right breast - Diagnosis: 10/2008, IDC, 3 1/2 cm, Stage 2 Grade 2, 4/12 nodes, ER+/PR+ ........................ Left breast
Diagnosis: 10/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 3/9 nodes, ER+/PR+SeasideMemo...
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 986Mar 6, 2011 07:51 pm SeasideMemories wrote: Otter,
There are simply no words other than to say.... I am so sorry!
Diagnosis: 5/8/2009, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIa, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-jenn3 
NOLA
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,119Mar 6, 2011 07:54 pm jenn3 wrote: Tears welled up in my eyes as I read your post, your writing put me in the house there with you......I am so sorry for your loss ((((hugs)))).
Jenn - 06/2009 - IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV w/mets to the lungs and spine - TN / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........ShirleyHugh... 
Wilmington, NC
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,696Mar 6, 2011 08:15 pm ShirleyHughes wrote: Otter, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope you know that most of us have our "differences" with our parents. I hope you're not feeling guilty about that. I don't have any poetic words to express my sorrow.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the differencepickle141 
Edmonton, AB
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 947Mar 6, 2011 08:16 pm pickle141 wrote: Otter: I am so sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. I have been lurking here and trying to diplomatically assess what all the fuss was about and not only does it pale in comparison to your tragic event, but it has certainly put things in perspective. And now I see all these wonderful women sending their heartfelt condolences, hugs and well wishes.. and that is what the true spirit of this sisterhood is. Lifting each other up and being the strength for someone when they really need it, being the shoulder to cry on, being the joke teller, the brussel sprouts advisor or being any and all of things that connect us as humans. It is poignant indeed that it takes such a sad moment to allow us all to take the time and reflect on what is important.
I didn't think I would post here again but your post has truly touched me and as previous posters have said...I could visualize you Mom's house and the surroundings...you have a storytelling gift... and I truly want to thank you for humanizing such a personal, sad loss. Again, I am sorry for your loss and wish you well.
Fond Regards
Beth
"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."
Diagnosis: 1/23/2009, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-JoanDavies 
Lakeland, FL
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 33Mar 6, 2011 08:31 pm JoanDavies wrote: I, too, haven't posted much here, but you should get all the hugs you possibly can right now, Otter. I lost my mom in January to kidney disease, just before my BMX surgery. She held on as long as she could out of worry for me. Only reassurance that my sisters and I would look out for each other gave her enough peace of mind to let go. Even though I had some time to prepare, I still want to call her and update her on what is happening. I couldn't imagine dealing with a sudden loss like you are experiencing.
We are lucky to get even a glimpse of the lovely woman your mom was, because you cared enough to share her here. So continue sharing your memories of her with as many people as you can, Otter, so that she lives on forever.
Joan
Diagnosis: 12/28/2010, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3AnneW 
Boulder, CO
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,000Mar 6, 2011 08:34 pm AnneW wrote: Otter, how horribly sad. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. You'll miss her forever. I wish I had more words, but a cyber hug will have to do. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Anne
2002 IDC stage 1, grade 1, rads & AI
Diagnosis: 9/18/2007, ILC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-ljh58
Aiken, SC
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,207Mar 6, 2011 08:40 pm ljh58 wrote: Otter, I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your mom, I lost mine somewhat unexpectedly last fall. Wish there were words to make it better.
"Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God."
Diagnosis: 3/11/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-BarbaraA 
Treasure Island , FL
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,382Mar 6, 2011 08:47 pm BarbaraA wrote: {{{OTTER}}} My prayers are going up for you and your family. Losing a parent is tremendously difficult. I lost my father in October and I feel your pain. Gentle hugs for you. I wish there were words.
Diagnosis: 4/30/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-molly52 
ON
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 317Mar 6, 2011 08:52 pm molly52 wrote: Oh Otter! I am so sorry. Mothers are always Mothers no matter how grown-up you become. I'll keep you and your mother in my thoughts.
What lovely neighbours you have.
BreastCancer.org forumkadeeb
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 266Mar 6, 2011 09:25 pm kadeeb wrote: Otter,
I can't say that I know how you feel. I still have both my parents and at 91 they get on my nerves often. It is good to be reminded that we should never take anyone for granted. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish there was something else we could do. I feel so useless at times like this. We love and care about you. Thanks for being you.
kad2kar
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 42Mar 6, 2011 09:27 pm kad2kar wrote: Otter.....Sincerest Sympathy to You and your family. Mothers are Angels in disguise,and you will always have her with you. kad2kar
apple 
Shawnee, KS
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,433Mar 6, 2011 09:50 pm apple wrote: I'm so sorry Otter. Losing my mom, my momma is still so recent. I hope the shock subsides, the next bit of time goes smoothly. Many prayers and hugs
peace and love, apple
Diagnosis: 5/10/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER+, HER2+hbcheryl
Huntington Beach, CA
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 806Mar 6, 2011 10:04 pm hbcheryl wrote: Dearest Otter, I am so sorry for your loss and even though she is gone from this earth she will forever be in your heart. I know that she must have been a kind and loving woman because that is who you are (((HUG)))
Diagnosis: 7/25/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-ruthbru 
ND
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,597Mar 6, 2011 10:47 pm ruthbru wrote: Otter, I am so sorry about your mom. I have been through that experience also, so know the hole it leaves in your heart. A big hug from me too. Ruth
"Invisible threads are the strongest ties." Friedrich Nietzsche
Diagnosis: 2/2007, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/11 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-crazydaisy 
On
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,461Mar 6, 2011 10:48 pm crazydaisy wrote: Oh Otter, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your mum. I feel your pain and loss, there are never enough words. (((HUGS)))
Viv " The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"
Diagnosis: 1/7/2008, DCIS, 4cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-otter
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,076Mar 6, 2011 11:10 pm otter wrote: Thanks to all of you for the comforting words, and the otter pics. My mom had some chronic health problems that worried her and that we knew could eventually cause her death. So, it was the suddenness and the circumstances that were such a shock. She lived a long, happy life, though -- she and my dad were married for just over 60 years. My dh and I watched Forrest Gump on TV tonight. The movie was oddly comforting. It reminded me that some things cannot be changed, and we need to rejoice in the good times.
I deeply appreciate all the love and support.
otter
Diagnosis: IDC, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2-PatMom 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,091Mar 6, 2011 11:12 pm PatMom wrote: Otter, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Please remember to take especially good care of yourself as you go through these difficult days, weeks and months full of transitions.
Until the time when someone comes up with a definitive "cure", we each have to cobble together what we believe will be the most effective treatment that we can live with, not merely survive.lassie11 
Ontario
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 774Mar 6, 2011 11:41 pm lassie11 wrote: Otter - my thoughts are with you. It's a tough time.
IronJawedBC... 
KY
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 336Mar 6, 2011 11:48 pm IronJawedBCAngel wrote: Otter,
I am profoundly sorry for your loss. As difficult as the last two years have been with my Dad, we have had the opportunity to say our goodbyes and accept loss on both sides. The loss of a parent is difficult no matter what the circumstances, but the loss without the opportunity to say goodbye, and process that loss is beyond imagination. Hugs to you and your family in this difficult time.
I raise a glass tonight in honor and memory of your Mom, and I am comforted by the knowledge that there is one more angel in heaven tonight to guide us on our way. May we not run faster than what our angels can fly! Slainte!
DCIS, 2005, lumpectomy, 32 rads, tamoxifen
Diagnosis: 4/15/2005, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-suemed8749 
Phoenix, AZ
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 919Mar 6, 2011 11:59 pm suemed8749 wrote: Otter: So sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My thoughts, also, are with you.
Diagnosis: 1/15/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+Ang7 
Fairfax, VA
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 478Mar 7, 2011 12:42 am Ang7 wrote: I'm thinking of you too Otter,
I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers are being sent your way.
Diagnosis: 5/25/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+Sharon50 
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 15,767Mar 7, 2011 07:05 am Sharon50 wrote: I'm so sorry Otter. I offer my deepest sympathy and hugs.
Diagnosis: 2006, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 2, 1/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Kindergarte...
Chesterton, IN
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 416Mar 7, 2011 08:23 am Kindergarten wrote: Dear Otter, My sincerest sympathy for the loss of your dear mother. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Kathy
Kathy
Diagnosis: 11/17/2004, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 1/28 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-1Athena1 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,180Mar 7, 2011 09:15 am 1Athena1 wrote: Dear Otter, touching base with you again to hope that you may be comforted by all of the warm memories. Hugs, "Athena"
Early stage cancer is like crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You live, but must forever glance over your shoulder.
Diagnosis: 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-AnneW
Boulder, CO
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,000Mar 7, 2011 10:11 am AnneW wrote: Oh, I love that picture, Athena.
Here's to all the Moms who went before us. I miss mine dearly, and I'm all-too-rapidly approaching the age she was when she died of breast cancer and colon cancer. I miss her fiercely. My Dad died a few months ago, and while I do miss him and mourn that loss, he lived to his life expectancy with many chronic health issues.
Friendships and family. That's what really matters in this world.
And perhaps brussel sprouts.
2002 IDC stage 1, grade 1, rads & AI
Diagnosis: 9/18/2007, ILC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,285Mar 7, 2011 10:14 am BinVA wrote: My dad died two years ago .. and I miss him terribly. I wish for one more day to be with him. Thank goodness for wonderful memories of the last visit I had with him.
Otter .. thinking of you today .. and sending you love.
Bren
3monstmama 
Seattle, WA
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 760Mar 7, 2011 11:51 am 3monstmama wrote: Otter;
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and condolences.
Otter's experience is one that should remind us all of the impermanence of life and that things can change in an instant. Given such impermanence and lack of control, its a shame to waste even a moment of our life force bickering or belittling others.
Diagnosis: 11/16/2009, DCIS, Stg 0, 1.1 cm, grade 3; ER+PR+; surgery 2/10; Rads 3/23/10-5/7/10; Rad Pneumonitis 6/16/10; Tamox 8/28/10-8/28/15 and on with my lifeRiver_Rat
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 185Mar 7, 2011 12:30 pm, edited Mar 7, 2011 12:31 PM by River_Rat River_Rat wrote: My dad died almost nine years ago and I still miss him. I wish he had lived to see his great grandchildren - he wanted another generation of babies to come along so much.
The quality of missing him has changed though. Now I mostly think of him when I see or hear something that I know he would have liked/or hated - some strong reaction and it just makes me smile, whereas in the early years it would bring tears.
Otter- I'm hoping that your good memories of your mom warm your heart.
Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley NicholsEllie1959 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 104Mar 7, 2011 12:31 pm Ellie1959 wrote: Well said 3monstmama - my Dad is 88 and very sick and I dread the day we lose him. So very sorry for your loss Otter - our Dad's are so special to us! Love, Ellie
Diagnosis: 12/27/2005, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIa, Grade 3, 2/12 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- -
bluedahlia
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,117Mar 7, 2011 12:35 pm bluedahlia wrote: My parents are also getting up there agewise. We all know its inevitable, but never want that time to come.
I am a Proud Canadian!J9W
Tallahassee, FL
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 24Mar 7, 2011 12:44 pm J9W wrote: Dear Otter - cyber hugs from afar. My heart goes to you and yours. J9
BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,286Mar 7, 2011 03:26 pm BinVA wrote: 
Thinking of you today Otter .. and sending love,
Bren
1Athena1
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,180Mar 7, 2011 03:48 pm 1Athena1 wrote: Otter, do you like crab?
Early stage cancer is like crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You live, but must forever glance over your shoulder.
Diagnosis: 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-AnnNYC
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,605Mar 7, 2011 04:17 pm AnnNYC wrote: Or fish? Glad all the neighbors are bringing you food, (((((Otter)))))
Diagnosis: 3/9/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Yazmin 
Washington, DC
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 742Mar 7, 2011 04:43 pm Yazmin wrote: Dear Otter:
I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss and the new emptiness in your life.......
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Please question more. And then more.nanadee 
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 26Mar 7, 2011 04:48 pm nanadee wrote: I'm relatively new here, but wanted to send my deepest condolences to you and to all who loved your mother. I lost mine to bc several years ago. I miss her every day.
Dee
Diagnosis: <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-Stanzie 
Ga
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 775Mar 7, 2011 05:27 pm Stanzie wrote: Otter-
I am so very sorry about your loss. I still miss my Mom terribly and she died in 2004. I can't imagine the sudden shock of losing your Mom so unexpectedly. I'm glad you and your Dad have each other.
Thinking of you and your family during such a difficult time. ((( Hugs)))
Diagnosis: 2/1/2010, DCIS, <1cm, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-lindasa
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,970Mar 7, 2011 06:01 pm lindasa wrote: Am loving all the otter photos -- and I'm sure Otter is too!
Fear is the most powerful enemy of reason.
Diagnosis: 1/10/2008, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-bluedahlia
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,117Mar 7, 2011 06:06 pm bluedahlia wrote: 
I am a Proud Canadian!barbe1958 
Alliston, ON
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 10,575Mar 7, 2011 06:43 pm barbe1958 wrote: Otter, this will be many pages off as I'm jumping in here...I am SO sorry for the loss of your Mom. How very surreal to see her house still set up as if she would walk in the door any second. My heart goes out to you, sweetie.
As for Facebook, I don't even have my last name on it, no identifiers so how the heck do people get personal info off it? They'd see some bad haircuts and my grands and kids but wouldn't know where or who the heck they are! What do people post? Their Visa numbers?
Breast cancer took my breasts, but not my sense of humour!BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,286Mar 7, 2011 06:49 pm BinVA wrote: Barbe .. people post on FB the most bizarre and personal stuff I've ever seen. Even phone numbers, email addys, home addy, etc. What are they thinking!
Bren
Medigal
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 916Mar 7, 2011 07:01 pm Medigal wrote: Bren: I think these people on FB get involved with all their friends and seem to think only the people they approve to be "a friend" can read their info so they think whatever they share is only read by these people. I am not on FB for personal reasons and don't know much about how it works but is it true that only the people one allows in as a "friend" can read the personal discusssions? Whenever I tell a relative she needs to be careful what she writes on FB she says it is safe because only her "friends" can read it. Is that true? Thanks!
BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,286Mar 7, 2011 07:05 pm BinVA wrote: I think so. But, if your friend writes something on someone elses page and that person has their settings to Everyone, then everyone can read what your friend writes. It's kind of tricky like that.
Bren
Alpal
KY
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,078Mar 7, 2011 07:07 pm Alpal wrote: I've heard that you need to check your security settings often, because every time they do any sort of upgrade, you go back to just the basic security. I even read an article in the paper that said this, so I really do think it's true.
Allison
Diagnosis: 7/2008, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-jenn3
NOLA
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,119Mar 7, 2011 08:01 pm jenn3 wrote: My youngest daughter, believe it or not has such tight security settings that she is almost impossible to find and unless you are her friend you see nothing - she's the one who helped me set things up. I too am amazed at what people say on FB - the one that bugs me the most is when people say they are going out of town........or talk about their kids so much that anyone could figure out their schedule......TMI
Jenn - 06/2009 - IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV w/mets to the lungs and spine - TN / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........ADK
MA
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,210Mar 7, 2011 08:33 pm ADK wrote: I am also on FB with tight security - you can't see my page unless you are a friend. I do have a unique name and I do have my whole name out there, but even if some one finds me, they can't see anything. You can also set it so that if a friend comments on your page, their friends can't see your page. You are correct in knowing that you have to double check your security settings frequently - luckily, my friends are as paranoid as I am, so they always post whenever you need to check your settings.
Anne [Edit] [Delete]hillck
NM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 210Mar 7, 2011 08:44 pm hillck wrote: Dear otter-
Cindy Neoadjuvant FEC x4, Taxol/Herceptin x12, Herceptin 1 year, BMX w/TE's 1/24/11
My deepest sympathy for your loss. I lost my mother to a long illness and my father in an instant to a massive heart attack. I remember sitting in their much too quiet house after his passing and looking around at all the trappings of his daily life. Reach deep in your memory and parade a lifetime of happy moments through your heart each day. They'll sustain you. No matter what your age when you lose your parents, I think you suddenly feel a bit like an orphan. Try to remember the things you and your mom laughed at. It will help you through.
Cindy
Diagnosis: 5/21/2010, IDC, 2cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+1Athena1
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,180Mar 7, 2011 10:48 pm 1Athena1 wrote: This privacy freak is not on Facebook and probably will never be.
From what I have read and heard, Facebook deliberately makes privacy settings tricky because if everyone were private in the way ADK is there would be no way to attract advertisers.
One disturbing anecdote: a colleague of mine purchased a book on Amazon. Later on, her Facebook page had an update that she had purchased a book and said what the title was. She did not want her mother to know about this. She probably had the same e-mail linked to Facebook and Amazon. Tt's like having a video camera installed in your house streaming information for others to see, except that the camera keeps changing rooms and angles.
Jenn - I don't read Facebook but I have heard also about how people talk about how they went on holiday, when they returned, where their children are, etc.... I agree: TMI!!
Early stage cancer is like crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You live, but must forever glance over your shoulder.
Diagnosis: 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-otter
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5,076Mar 7, 2011 11:42 pm otter wrote: Hi, all...
I do appreciate all the food we're receiving -- especially the seafood, of course.
I wish I could respond to each of you individually and personally. I would quickly run out of space in the booklet the funeral director gave me for keeping track of the condolence cards, phone calls, emails, etc. I am overwhelmed by your kindness. The comments about your own losses are comforting, because they make me realize I am not alone in grieving over the death of a parent; and, like everything we've faced with respect to our BC diagnoses, we'll help each other get through it.
otter
Diagnosis: IDC, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2-lindasa
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,970Mar 8, 2011 12:53 am lindasa wrote: Otter -- I'll take the liberty of saying, on behalf of everyone here, that you are so welcome! So many of us have experienced the loss of a parent (or parents) and the suddenness and subsequent shock takes some time to accept. Eventually (and I promise this!) you will toss out memories of the not-so-happy times, and replace them with the wonderful memories of times you shared with your mom.
Hugs from us all, Linda
Fear is the most powerful enemy of reason.
Diagnosis: 1/10/2008, ILC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-BarbaraA
Treasure Island , FL
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 2,382Mar 8, 2011 06:56 am BarbaraA wrote: Otter, what Linda said. Hugs from all of us.
Diagnosis: 4/30/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage Ib, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-1Athena1
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,180Mar 8, 2011 07:13 am 1Athena1 wrote: Lindasa definitely spoke for me!
Early stage cancer is like crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You live, but must forever glance over your shoulder.
Diagnosis: 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,286Mar 8, 2011 09:11 am BinVA wrote: And me too. I'm thinking of you today Otter .. sending you love and hugs,
Bren
Moderators 
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 312Mar 8, 2011 09:26 am Moderators wrote: Our sympathies as well, Otter.
Melissa and the BCO Team
BinVA
Martinsville, VA
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,286Mar 8, 2011 09:34 am BinVA wrote: I like what Linda wrote .. when I think of my dad now, I think of our wonderful last visit, and I don't think about all the hard times we had. I just remember the fun and joy we had together shortly before he died.
Hugs Otter,
Bren
AnnNYC
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,605Mar 8, 2011 11:45 am AnnNYC wrote: ((((((((((((((((( Otter ))))))))))))))))
Diagnosis: 3/9/2007, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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I think I got them all. If I missed any, I apologize.
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Oh Otter,
I just found this. I am so so sorry. Wish I could do more to help the BCO friend who has done so much for me. My heart is breaking for youhugs
Kate
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Otter,
My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. May she always be close in your heart.
Hugs
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Otter, again I offer my deepest condolences. Gentle hugs for you.
-
Otter,
Hugs and peace to you this day and in the days to come. Sunlight will return. Until then, let us hold you close. -
Otter, my deepest sympathies and condolences on your loss. Wishing you strength, and peace, and the comfort of friends and family at this sad time.
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