I Feel Like I'm Watching a Train Wreck

K8ie

Hi E1,
First, I apologize if I screw up terms, etc. or if I’m posting on the wrong board.  I've been trying to assimilate as much info on BC as I can, but it's a steep learning curve. As if you don't know, huh?
My dearest friend was diag.w/ DCIS-Grade 1 (left breast) in Dec, 2010.  She had a lumpectomy (1 node taken that was clear) on 1/06/11 but didn't get good margins.  So another lumpectomy 2 wks. later (after which she got lymphedema/cellulitis).  Still no clean margins & had mastectomy the 2nd week of Feb.
After the mastectomy, her surgeon sent her to oncologist (she just returned from the appt.) who is recommending chemo. 
So, to sum it up...3 surgeries in 7 weeks, lymphedema &1 heck of an infection & now chemo? I'm just freaking.   None of this makes any sense to me.
She's totally passive (refused to consider a 2nd opinion re: anything)  & won't ask for her path reports so I have no idea what's changed (if anything) since the last diagnosis ( she insists nothing has changed).  All I know is that she's like a zombie.
SO...here's the question: Should I push her to have another oncologist review her records b/f she undergoes chemo?  Or would it be like water over the proverbial dam, at this point? What sort of an oncologist would be most reliable for this situation?
I so want to do something to help her thru this...but I'm afraid to push. I’ve already begged, pleaded & argued with her to get 2nd opinions every step of the way to no avail.  In spite of that fact that I can't imagine anything worse than to have to deal w/ this & have your best friend hounding you to do something you just don't want to do, at the same time. 
ANY guidance you can give me would be so very much appreciated.