Guy dealling with favourite woman's hardest fight

DougMac

Hi, my name is.....Doug.

A while ago, my fiance was diagnosed, and had a BMX. I paniced and did a lot of the wrong things. I lost my fiance.

I'm still there for her. I do all the research I can, and I try to help the best I can. But I'm going through so many emotions, and pain, at the same time.

Any advice?

Mazy1959

Doug, many men do the wrong things when their woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. I dont know if she reads the postings on this site but there are alot of divorces/ breakups due to breast cancer and its usually cause the man cant handle it. That being said...you are the first man I have ever seen on here who was sorry for it. Thats a compliment LOL. You made a mistake and right now she is fighting cancer and needs her strength for that. Tell her that although its normal for men to do the wrong things... you want to make it up to her and do better now. And then keep your word (thats the important part). I hope it all works out for both of you. Hugs, Mazy

DougMac

MAZY- I cannot describe how sorry I am for it. I messed up, took it badly, hurt her, and pissed her off. I want, more than anything, to make up for it, and everything else that happened in our relationship.

Mazy1959

Doug, 

Just try to be there for her and show you care. I dont know her but I know its the little things that really count with me. Every morning my hubby would make me a pot of coffee and put it in a thermal carafe on my bedside table, some kind of snack, my meds, etc. Fluff pillows, straighten blankets, keep things picked up and dishes done etc. If she wants to talk about her breast cancer....at least listen to her. You may not know what to say but when she needs to get it out of her system she needs someone who will listen. I know its hard to understand what she 's going thru.  Maybe ask her if she is hurting or ask if the meds help..that sort of thing. If she likes luv letters..now would be a good time. Hugs, Mazy

Mazy1959

Doug, Do you know her stage etc? Is it early stage, I hope?

Claire_in_Seattle

Send major flowers.  Then call and ask her what she needs.  Do it.

Eat some major crow.  I think your chances are good if you do this.

You need to explain that you lost it, are sorry, and plan to be there for her.  Make her know how beautiful you find her.

You do need to be strong.  Because it's about her at the moment, and not about you.  Man up and help her.  Good luck.

debbie6122

I was lucky to have a understanding and supportive husband, but as others said some men cant handle it, im glad you realized your mistake and are wanting to still be there for her- Right now this is all about her getting better and thats all thats on her mind but im sure when she see;s how hard you are trying hopfully she will forgive you- One thing you might do is hire some one to clean her house or you can do it, go to the store and show up with all kinds of things she might like to eat im not sure where she is in her treatments, but if she is still going thru chemo then icepops, puddings, jello, some soft foods not spicy or acidic, get her plastic forks, spoons and knives as real silver tastes metalic in the mouth, let her know you have been doing some research to help her out this will go along way mainly just be there for her and listen let her know you love her,"good luck"

edited to say/ Offer to take her to all of her appointments if she wants you there so she knows you are really want to be there for her.