How do all of your pull through emotionally to start?

ahmin

Hi all,

 Infact i am trying to find more informations about breast cancer treatments for my mother. I am from Singapore, no doubt we have good technology of healthcare there are limited support group or i could not find them?
Nevertheless, my family are very worry about my mother going through chemotherapy; mother had just remove her entire left breast, 3-4cm lump and had spread to lymph node and also had it remove of 2-3cm lump.
My mother is in fear and doctor given us till next week to consider if to let her go through the chemo treatment or just go on oral medication for 5 years. Doctor advise was on AC for 12 weeks, 3 weeks once for 1st cycle and 2nd cycle on Paclitaxel for 12 weeks, 1 week once. Then follow by Tamoxifen for 5 years.

Honestly i am also in lost

1: should i get a 2nd consultation for her?
2: Should i persuade her to go for chemo or i should leave it to her if should refuse?
3. What should i do?  What she need? What else can be done?

Everyone are so strong here and doing real good but my mother is full of fear and worry which i am worry it will affect her emotion once she start her treatment.

Ca1Ripken

Hi.  I'm so sorry you are having to face this.  Her treatment plan sounds like it is absolutely in line with her diagnosis (possibly Stage 3).  Chemo is scary, but it is definitely something you can get through.. they have great meds to help with the side effects... yes, she will still be sick and probably still lose her hair, but its doable!!  Please get a 2nd opinion if that will help her feel better, but remember the chemo will treat her whole body, and with the cancer in her lymph nodes you want to be sure and get any stray cells that may have tried to venture out!!  Best of luck to you and your mother!  (((HUGS)))

ahmin

As according to the doctor its stage 2 but i assume due to spreading to lymph nodes and arent small. We are rather worry as she is already very skinny and some of our past relatives went through chemo and could not make it through which gave her lots negative thoughts. She is also very affected emotionally which i personally feel its even more difficult for her.

debbie6122

Ahmin- So sorry about your mom, i know she must be scared just the thought of going thru chemo is a scary thing, but i can tell you when you go thru somthing like that you dont think you can do it but you find out how strong you really are, some ladies have no problems during chemo most even work, i had some bad side effects but got thru it, it has been over a year since my last chemo and im doing great as with a lot of the ladies here as well, they have so much better chemo treatments than they used to, your mom will get medicine to help with the nausua (sp) most of us gained weight during chemo so hopfully she wont lose any more weight than she needs, i will keep her and you and family in my prayers, im sure you will have lots of questions we will be here for you, come back often and keep us posted

warm hugs,

debbie

mdg

I am sorry your mom has this.  I know how hard it is.  I personally believe in second opinions.  I also believe in reading a lot so you understand what questions to ask and know the things you should be concerned with.  I also suggest you get a copy of the pathology report and really understand everything on it so you know more about her exact diagnosis and what treatments are usually applied.  I think the more information you get and when you find a doctor you agree with and like it is easier to make a decision.  None of this is easy and I don't feel strong.  I am just someone who got dealt some bad stuff and I have to keep moving forward 1 step at a time with no choice.  Your mom is lucky to have you helping her through this.  Be by her side and support her with love...that makes all the difference.  Best of luck to you both! 

hymil

ahmin, we are not all strong, not all the time! For some we waver once a week, for others the whole day is one long tearful struggle! Hormonal treatment especially makes this much worse. But your mother is a lucky lady because family is supporting her. Together we can be so much more. So do please come here again and ask your questions, we will do our best to help.

Emotional adjusting  to diagosis and life with cancer, it is very difficult, it seems that things happen very fast with no time to think, that makes it hard. The doctors want to know today, what is your response, but really one week to think will not make much difference to the big outcome, so do ask for time to consider. Also with previous cancer treatment in the family, it is natural that you keep thinking back, but remember each cancer is different and each patient is different, also the drugs have improved since my father was treated and side effects are usually better controlled now.

If the worry and anxiety are eating away at your mother's peace of mind maybe the doctor can give a medication for anxiety, there is no shame and not addictive because the situation is very stressful right now but that will get better, she needs to sleep and eat to help her body do its best, so maybe it's good to get some help and fight the destructive thoughts.

I am sorry you have to join us here but I hope we will hear more from you.

mawhinney

Chemo treatments have greatly improved over the past few years.  Possibly your mother's friends received chemo several years ago and today's chemo will not be as harsh.  I didn't have chemo but I found visualizing something pleasant when I got scared or concerned during surguries helped relieve my anxiety.  Take care.

ahmin

Thank you everyone, all your advise is very relevant. Infact all medical terms are confusing. According to her report stated: Invasive Carcinoma grade 2-3 ER+ve, PR borderline +ve, cerb-b2 -ve. Does it mean very critical? I will print out our conversation here and show her that lots of support here. My mother age is 58 and 50kg will there be any risk due to age and weight during chemo? Infact after her operation she has been losing weight.

debbie6122

The ER/PR status tells us that the tumor cells have receptors on them that cause them to be sensitive to estrogenHormone replacement therapy and/or progesterone.  It is strictly a description of the cells. The hormone status/lifestyle (ingestion of hormones) may influence the amount of estrogen circulating in the body that could influence the tumor growth but it does not cause the tumors to develop as estrogen or progesterone positive.  ER/PR status also tells us that a tumor will likely respond to therapies that lower the levels of these hormones.  From research, it is also known that ER/PR positive tumors have a somewhat better prognosis.

Cerb-2 im assuming is the her2 gene and is negative which is a good thing, im no doctor but it dosnt sound like your moms breast cancer is aggressive to me, being stage 2? maybe 2b so to answer your question i dont think it is critical, but then again i dont know all the details. Has your mom had a bone scan and mri yet? Usually when first diagnosed they send you in for these test to make sure it hasnt spread to the bones etc..

I hope some of this has helped. she is lucky to have a daugher that is caring and will be there for her thru this.

Hugs

Debbie

hymil

ahmin, i just thought also, because the time is very srtessful, maybe it might help if you can find counselling for your mother, gentle talking from a trained therapist to help her adjust with the fear and deal with anxiety also, so that she can gain confidence and know how to stand to the doctor's face and ask her questions. To take a tablet might reduce feelings of fear, but to talk about the feelings and explore the options so she knows what practical difference it will make, this has more power to change damaging thoughts inside and overcome the roots of trouble before they become like a poison. Cancer - losing your health - it is a real loss and we need to mourn for what we lost, first find all the facts and then adapt to the changes this brings. She is not old your mother, at 58 she may have many years ahead of her to look forward to, after the illness is treated. Most likely she is losing weight because she doesn't eat or sleep well with the anxiety? So any little thing like, to go out for a special meal, or to have a relaxing massage, to walk together in the countryside, these are all good things that is in your power, not waiting for the doctors to make everything better. Sadly, many of us will tell that what the doctors do, it makes you feel worse for a time, it is hard to damage the cancer without damaging a part of us too and that is why i think any self care is important and empowering.

208sandy

Dear Ahmin:

First of all you are lucky Singapore has wonderful medical facilities and doctors (my husband lived there for two years and had to be hospitalized - his care was the best) anyway I just wanted to say that there are drugs for anxiety (in Canada and the U.S. ativan is a good one) also there are many medications you can take to control the side effects of chemo - the vomiting is the one we all most hate and it doesn't have to happen anymore - if you can get your mother calm she'll be much better able to eat and maintain her strength through the treatment - as to whether or not she should have chemo - I'd say yes definitely and it's doable - wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion I don't think it ever does.  Keep in touch with us and we'll help you both through the treatment - you've come to the right place.

Hugs, Sandy

misssimpson

Ahmin. your mom is the same age as me, similar type of cancer and has the same treatment plan as mine.  The doctors are doing the chemo first (neo-adjuvant) and the surgery later (March 24).  The doctor wanted to shrink the tumor first.  After the first month or so, the panic wears off and life becomes a little more normal.  It's a new normal for us.

 Penny 

ahmin

Thank you everyone. My mum and i we had went to seek for second consultation. No escape from chemotherapy, claim by the doctor but a different oral medication for my mother...As advise from the doctor she got to go through AC then Paclitaxel for 6 months. Instead of tamoxifen for 5 years she recommend Letrozole for 3 years then change to tamoxifen for 2 years. Letrocole side effect is it worst than tamoxifen? As i google its seem that letrocole side effect is very bad. My mum is hesistating to go for chemo even the 2nd doc had told her its will be good for her as she is very worry she really cannot take the chemo treatment. As chemotherapy will make her really weak and no appetite that she could not regain the nutrients and energy. She is very active and she really worry. I try encourage her that there are people with worse condition than her is doing great and recover. Even the doctor said there are no one in her treatment at my mum stage that cannot pull through from the chemotherapy which boost my confident to encourage her to take up.
Missimpossible: I'm sorry to hear that from you. the doctor advise my mother to do chemotherapy 1st as well but she really too worry of chemotherapy therefore she choose to remove her entire breast.So you are going for chemotherapy on march 24? <<<<HUGS>>>>

tHANK YOU ALL, <<<HUGZ ALL>>>

Ahmin

ahmin

Debbie,

My mother went for all the test and it does not spread to else where and she remove the right entire breast and all the lymph nodes. Doctor was explaining that if she is going through just oral medication the chance of relapsing will be around 50% and she goes through chemotherapy and oral medication the chances of relapsing will reduce to 30%-40% which i am not very convince as the 10%-20% different in exchange for the 6 months and 5 years of chemo side effect and medication side effect seem really negligible and scary...

debbie6122

ahmin, that is good her scans were normal, yes chemo does reduce the chances but not a guarantee that it wont come back, its kind of a crap shoot, but her chances do improve and please try to remember if you can that there are some wonderful treatments now adays than they had years before and the woman on this thread including later stage breast cancer are doing pretty wll some of the stage 4 ladies are even 14 to 17 years out. i know it is very scary for you to know what she is facing she is probably stronger than you think the most important thing for her is that you are there for her giving her love and support which you clearly are- Please come back often and let us know how she is and keep asking questions when you have some, we will be here for you, ((((((((hugs)))))))))

ahmin

Dear all,

 My mother decided to go for the chemotherapy AC, 3 weeks once then Paclitaxel 12 weeks once. Instead of tamoxifen for 5 years she is going for Letrozole for 3 years then change to tamoxifen for 2 years.Its difficult to accept that soon i will see her going through the side effect and its hurts. Nevertheless i have to be stronger than her to take good care of her. Kind of fear and trying to read through the forum to see what i have to prepare for her before and during the treatment. Thank you all <<<Hugs>>>

Cat123

If you feel better going for a second opinion then go for it....it may give you peace.  I am in Canada and had surgery on my left breast and have dose dense ACT.  I have had 4 rounds of AC every two weeks and started Taxol yesterday.  Minimal side effects and I have done very well.  It is doable and from the research I have done it is the way to go.  It is hard emotionally but the anticipation is worse...once you start doing it, it isn't as bad as you imagine it.  The drugs that they have today make the nausea very minimal.  Hugs to you and good luck!

debbie6122

ahmin- never tryed letrazole but did tamoxifen had bad bone pain from it and had to switch to aromisan(sp) some ladies get bone pain where others dont have any problems at all the dr will or should give her some pain meds, that is down the road but thought i should mention it now, there are a lot of tips i can give you for when she starts her chemo, i will name a few to start, have her stock up on things like puddings, popcycles, watermelon, spicy things seem to irratate the throat- lotions for dry skin-claritan helps with some pain- drink lots of water to flush out the toxins after chemo-treatments, buy plastic forks, spoons, the real silverware gives most a metallac taste- If you have an "american cancer socitey" where you live they are wonderful and will give her free wigs, prosthesis after a mastecomy, they have a class that last about an hour too and will give her free make-up and show her how to wear it also free hats of all kinds. also if you go on line and type in heavenly angles they will send you some free hats as well. Im kind of tired now and not remembering a lot of stuff, and im sure others will chime in here to give more info and as soon as i think of more i will let you know- hang in there! oh also for the anxiety she can ask for some xanax it really helps- hugs

debbie6122

forgot to ask, when does she start her chemo?

ahmin

My mother gonna start 24 feb. Battle gonna start soon.

ChrissyMH

ahmin,

Your mother is so fortunate to have you by her side.  I just finished chemo - and I'm OK!  I'm the same age as your Mom.  I will be hoping for the best outcome for you and her.

debbie6122

ahmin- thinking about your mom today, knowing she will be starting her chemo hope she sails thru this with now problems let her know we are all here for her and you

hugs,

debbie

ahmin

Hi all, I consider smooth sailing for her 1st session. I guess the medication does stop her from vomiting. Her sense of taste not comfy, drinking plain water she dun feel good.she drink lots water and she does not flush out alot. Is it due to the effect of chemotherapy? The nurse say she look pale after therapy but she don't feel weak. She given lots medication to overcome the nausea and vomit. Given her some packets of milk which contain good nutrients and she take lots fruits after her dinner. She resting now. She is doing well and hope tomorrow she will feel better.

debbie6122

thanks for the update ahmin-is she drinking LOTS of water? It should help her flush it out and jello is good too if nothing taste good, at least for me- i had puddings and jello glad her dr are taking care of her. Usually (at least for me) the first couple of days i had energy from the steriods, then by the 3rd or 4th day i started feeling bad, hope that wont be the case for her. (((((((hugs))))))))

Laugh-addict

Hello ahmin,

Glad to hear your Mom has decided to do chemo.  I am sure she will do just fine, and with the support of such a loving daughter, she will do even better!  Just keep looking around this site and you will so much useful information.  The anxiety should lessen once she sees how doable her treatment is.  Just try to keep her positive and  follow the advice of the wonderful people you will meet here along the way!

Hugs to you and your Mom.

Tina 

ahmin

Hi all,

Today is her 2nd day after AC yesterday...she seem good yesterday which is her 1st session but yesterday night she can't sleep well and start feeling sign of vomiting. She had the medication for vomiting does stop her vomiting. This is something i don't know i should laugh on it or upset on it...she vomit this morning and her dentures drop off which then flush off by her...now she got to do without teeth for 2 weeks and she only can swollow food as she don't have teeth to bite.She lost of appetite, she drink lots of water but she don't seem flushing out as much. I will go supermarket to get her some jello and orange juices. Hopeful by drinking more of this she will feel much better. I hope she will be better tommorrow.

debbie6122

Oh No that is terrible as if she wasnt going thru enough! I can see some humor in it, it if was my family i would probalby laugh too, just to make lite of the situation. hope she does good with the oj, for me it was to acidic and bothered me while i was doing chemo. im sure the steriods are whats keeping her awake too, should be out of her system in a day or two, mashed potatoes might help her she wont have to chew much.

ahmin

Came home from work just now and my mum say she felt nausea and tired so kept sleeping. I am just worry the more she sleep the more tired she will... Cook some soft diet for her Like porridge... The porridge to me is salty but she say not salty to her...She ate a little. She claim she is hungry but no appetite...just drank lots barley drink. She simply just don't feel like drinking plain water...got her carrot, orange and pomegranate juice so that more varieties to choose and hope at least drink lots of them. What else I can do for her to gain her appetite? I told her ti eat little in each meal but eat more meals but all she do is sleep? Is it okie to let her keep sleeping? I am just worry the more she sleep the more nausea she will...

ahmin

Seem that my mum side effect like vomit stop the 3rd day but she total lost appetite and it's coming to a week she still cannot gain back normal appetite. Kind of worry. Worry that she will get worst for the next chemo on 17 march. Her mouth ulcers are out and make it worst in eAting... Haiz... What should she consume when she don't have appetite to eat?

polamom

What are they giving her for nausea?  When I took A/C they gave me two medications  Emend(Aprepitant) and Zofran( Ondansetron) for nausea.  I took Emend for two days after and the zofran for three, but could take it longer if I had to.   It worked very well for me.  They also gave me  Reglan (metoclopramide) and Phenergan (promethazine) if those didn't work and I was still sick.  So there is a lot out there. 

I'd guess the acid from vomiting could be causing the mouth sores.   I never had them.  I did suck/chew on ice during the treatment to help prevent that.  Maybe it did?   I did have horrible stomach acid and asked for a prescription for that.  I wish I had asked sooner instead of trying common medications.  I hope she can find something that tastes ok to her soon.  Hang in there the A/C does go by fast. 

ahmin

Yesterday my mother went for 2nd session. She seem fine this round. We told the doctor that she vomited and feel no apetite. She drank lots cold water in the process of the chemotherapy. She drank cold barley drink and i guess its help to drain off the fast. Yesterday nite took the  medication and drank lots water. Though she did not sleep mush but at least she has appetite to eat, and do not seem to be as weak as the 1st time. The doctor also suggest her to suck ice cube when she is doing the chemotherapy to prevent ulcer. She did not try but she take in lots cold water.