Mastectomy with Baby at home

hendricks1

I'm 38 years old and looking at having a bi-lateral mastectomy.  I also have a 4 month old and a 4 year old to take care of.  Can anyone comment on recovery time and how long it takes to get back to functioning as a mom?  Thank you!

barbe1958

It would depend on whether you are getting immediate recon or not. Your chest will be sore, but not unbearable so. There are no muscles, organs or bones involved so it's surprising really that such a horrific surgery can be so low in pain on the scale.

You won't be able to lift for weeks. You will need help with the kids. You can certainly cuddle. Your chest can handle that. You shouldn't have to worry about meals and you most certainly shouldn't do laundry as that involves bending down. The pressure seems to build up when you bend down (like over a dishwasher).

You will have drains in for a week or two so the kids have to watch that. Instead of pinning them on the outside of your clothes you might want to pin them inside a hoodie or something like that.

Let the kids help you heal. Good luck!

hendricks1

Thanks for your post-I have a baby who is gaining weight fast-3 months and 17 lbs so I'm nervous about how long it'll take me to get back to my feeding and diaper duties : )  I will have help but it's hard to feel that helpless as a mom of an infant!

CandDsMom

I agree with the above poster - I think recovery does depend on if recon is done at the same time (as well as what type of recon).  I had immediate flap recon (that was botched) and I had a very long recovery period (13 weeks). My kids were also young - 9 months and 2 at the time of my initial diagnosis.  

One thing which I wasn't anticipating was the amount of difficulty I had moving my arms or even lifting my arms to shoulder level (this was >>> worse on the side with the SNB).  I got enrolled in physical therapy (PT) around 3 weeks post op and that made a tremendous difference.  If you are scheduled for BMX you may want to consider having a PT appt all lined up for post op (would check with your BS and PS if applicable regarding timing of PT).

I cuddled a lot with my kids but was very frustrated that I couldn't pick them up.  I tried to do all the things like feeding, reading to them etc that I could and that helped a little.  

If you will have JP drains I also recommend getting a bunch of large sized safety pins to pin them inside your clothes and also a lanyard or other length of ribbon to tie around your neck to hold your drains while you are showering.

Good luck with everything! 

tracie23

Hi Hendricks1 , When I had my double mastectomy I got the Ameona Camisole it has little Velcro pouches to put the drains in and it is snug to your body. So much nicer than pinning them to your cloths and with kids much safer.  The website is Amoena.com. I had my surgery June 16th and I remember going to a 4th of July party I didn't do much but sit I was sore but not horribly. I couldn't lift much , If you have little kids you are going to need help for a while.

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dlb823

hendricks, in addition to the great advice you've already gotten, you might want to check & see if this organization offers their free cleaning services in your area:

http://www.cleaningforareason.org/

If they do, it would be one less thing to have to worry about while you're recuperating.   Deanna

KSkier

Did that too.  Baby was 7 months old, big brother almost 4.  Being told not to lift the baby, I found that I could change her when I had to by having her on the floor, rather than lifting her up to the changing table.  I don't now remember how come she was on the floor - I guess she was crawling by then.  To make matters worse, 4 year old broke his leg exactly one month after my bilat.  I was carrying him to the toilet by week 6.  I had lots of help for just the first week or two, then life was pretty normal. 

tracie23

I forgot about cleaning for a reason .... Also the American cancer society will give you 21 free rides per there calender year to any appointment you may have I have used them a handful of times and it is a life saver if your husband has to work or can't find a friend to take you and it doesn't matter if it's labs, onc appt, chemo, rads etc... you just have to call 3 days in advance. You can also call them to find out other options in your area for help. They are wonderful.

xtine

I did a unilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, and have twin girls who were nearly 2. While they don't *need* to be picked up, they are still very cuddly and demanding, and also quite heavy! I was very worried about not lifting them, but in the end it worked out. We had a lot of conversations about "mommy's booboo" and they basically figured it out. I was able to lift them almost normally about 4 weeks post-surgery. After 6 weeks I was doing yoga and full weight bearing poses. I'm now in no lift mode again, as I just had my exchange yesterday, but already it seems much easier.

It is very important to make sure you take care of yourself and get some help (husband, parents, friends?). It was very tempting for me to try to lift/hold them right away, and it's possible this slowed my recovery (I had a drain in for 3 weeks). There was one point in particular when an antsy kid head-bumped my chest while sitting on my lap, and I ended up with some nasty bruising.

However hard it is, the kids will do fine.. it's a short time, really, and they know you love them. 

Laurie08

I had a BMX with TE's back 6/30/10.  I have two sons who at the time were 6 months and 2 1/2.  Please feel free to PM me if your surgery is the same, need advice etc.  I will say it was much more manageable than I thought it would be.

PlantLover

My motto has become ...

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 

I had a bi-lat with TE's & axillary node dissection on 4/8/09.

I had a very difficult recovery.  I don't know if it was because I had already been through chemo and my body was tired or what.  I also deal fairly well with pain and discomfort.  In fact, I worked through 6 rounds of TCH & 7+ weeks of radiation.  I even gave myself, hmmm ... 30 or so Neupogen shots.

All I know is I went into it thinking I'd only miss two weeks of work and I missed four. During the first week, I quickly learned that if I missed taking my pain meds. on schedule there was HELL to pay. I'd suggest you stay on schedule with your pain meds for the first day or two, at least. They may not be taking any muscle out but they sure do muck with it, lol. I could not get up from a reclined position without help for at least a week, probably more like two. 

My kids are 19 and 15 & I clearly remember how much they need Mom at 4 months and 4 years old. Personally, I'd try to make sure you have some help lined up for at least the first two weeks just in case you need it.

I'm really not trying to be a Debbie Downer.  I just wish I had gone into my surgery with my motto in mind.  I think I felt a lot more depression because I went into it thinking it was going to be a walk in the park. For me, it wasn't.

I'm really sorry you have this stupid cancer!!!!!!!!

D4Hope

I had a BMX with immediate reconstruction (diep) I had no real pain in the breast area but I could not lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. Do you have anyone that can stay with you for awhile? My youngest was seven at the time and my mom came and stayed with me for about four weeks. Hubby was alot of help too but he had to go back to work. My friends asked me what I would need help with and I said meals. I had someone drop off dinner to me for about three weeks. It really helped not having to worry about planning dinner.  The drains are a pain, I had six of them. I pinned them inside a big shirt which helped. I know four year olds like to jump into their moms laps so just watch out for that. So when someone offers to help say yes and tell them what you need help with. Good luck.

barbe1958

Again, it's going to depend on whether she has recon at the time of the mastectomies....

hendricks1

Thanks ladies for all your great suggestions- Tracie23, I will check into that tank camisole, sounds very useful, also the free rides. Wish they had cleaners that participated in my area but I can get cheap help here with that.  Kskier & Laurie08, sounds like we have similar situations so I know you know what it's like.  I'm thinking as barbe1958 mentioned, that it would be different with reconstruction and so maybe I should wait til later to mess with it and focus on getting back to Mom asap.  Also, my ONC says I probably should have radiation after mastectomy which has me even more concerned about reconstruction options.  Will meet with them early March to make a decision. Hate that we're all here talking about this but so glad there are so many friendly and open ladies to share this journey with!  Thank you

hendricks1

CanDsMom-I see you too have similar aged kids.   Sorry your surgery didn't go so well but were you happy in the end with the reconstruction you chose? I did already have a lumpectomy and sentinel node removed so I do know about recovering from that-it takes longer than you think.  Thanks for sharing and hope your'e doing well.

barbe1958

Oh heck!!! If you've already had the SNB they probably won't go for any more, so you are over the worst of it. The 2 big hassles are the drains and then when the nerves start regenerating. I had phantom itches for a couple of weeks that were pretty weird, but I got over them....good luck!