February 2011 Rads

sjames59

AmyJo - thinking good thoughts for you, hang in there you're almost there! I'm glad you got your appt moved up & hoping for good news there.
DuckyB - welcome, sorry you have to be here, but since you do, it's a great resource and encouragement.
Juanita - sorry about your blister and your imposing "friend", I agree with the ladies here, let your hubby be your buffer and advocate.
Adey - you're almost there, yeay!!!
Tori - sorry to hear about the burning and peeling. I hope it starts to heal quickly once you shift to the boosts.
Kallimom - that's a great question, about being a survivor. Technically the cancer was all gone at surgery, but I don't feel like it's over. I know I'll be very happy to be a survivor of radiation soon!

I finished the whole breast txs on Thursday and had my first boost on Friday, 7 left. Then as I left had a bit of an emotional meltdown, for no other reason than I'm tired of being sore, tired of being burnt, tired of having cancer, tired of just about all of it. Then I got home and found that I'd left my cell phone at the rads clinic and had to drive back again.

I've been taking oral Benadryl capsules to help with the itchiness. I've been burnt and bright red for a couple of weeks now, doing the saline soaks a lot more often too. Under the breast there are a couple of hot spots where it looks like they'll be blisters soon, but the skin is still holding up. I took my first nap yesterday and then didn't sleep well last night, boo! 

On the gratitude side, so many friends have been doing big and small things to help out. One of them, sporting crutches and a torn meniscus, showed up at my door a week ago with a bright pink and green paper chain with the exact number of links to tear off daily until my last day of tx... brightened my day! Oh, another thing I'm thankful for is that I'm only working part-time for now, and most of that is from home... I'm glad to have an understanding boss, she's been great.

Hang in there everyone... we're all counting down and I hope it goes a little easier for everyone this week.

Sharon

Elisimo

Sharon - glad you have some supportive friends.  You will be finished before long. Keep the area lubricated with your creams.  Aloe might help with the blisters, I use a fresh piece every time.  Use a warm, damp, soft cloth to clean the area after the aloe has been on for a couple of hours. Then reapply either the aloe or your cream.

Tori - glad to see you posting again. Sorry about the skin issues I think you are using the calendula gel, if so keep putting it on every couple of hours and be sure to clean the area between each use.

Adey - we are almost done. Hope you are doing well. 

GirlFriday

sjames59:  I've noticed a difference when I take Benedryll too. I have 5 regular left before my 8 boosts, and my rash is getting really itchy.  The hydrocortisone didn't seem to do much but I use a benedryll topical and it's a world of difference.

Kallimom:  Someone once said to me "The battle really begins after your treatments end" As much as I wanted to scream when I heard that, it's probably true.  They psychological aspects of the big "C" are much more difficult to over come.  I was at a Dr's appt Friday and she said so You're a healthy person...and I said I was except for Cancer...apparently it's common for people to say "I'm healthy except for the cancer"  I'm not sure whether that makes me want to laugh or cry! 

duckyb1

I have learned to try to ignore what people say...............I have said it on other threads.  I am about 5/6 weeks from diagnosis till now..........People have said the dumbest things to me in that time.......Telling me how lucky I was that I got the "good cancer"............"at least your old, and in older people its not as aggressive"............"be glad its not one of the deadly cancers"........."well you look great, so how bad can it be"...........I thought "you pathetic piece of gorilla dung" how dare you stand there, sit there, tell me, how fortunate I am..........Wanna trade places fool............no I didn't think so................Now I'm waiting for radiation to start..........I can't begin to imagine what they will say now............oh I know...........WOW, you are so lucky you didn't have to get Chemo..................Then there are the very wonderful people who say nothing, other then "I will pray for you"...................Many, many, of those types, so they drowned out the voices of the idiots, and its the I'll pray for you" voices that bring you through..........

I am scared of radiation, but if you ladies are doing it.  I know I can too.    There ;isn't a cancer patient out there who knows we will be constantly looking over our shoulders waiting for the other shoe to drop, but in between those "very tough times, where our minds take over" we will shake ourselves back to reality, and say "hey we made it to this point, and we will put on our "big girl panties", and plow on....................We have to.............for all the people who love us, but mostly for ourselves as a statement to all women with Breast cancer...........We had cancer....it did not have us.............Hugs ladies

Elisimo

duckyb - you know you can PM me anytime.  My prayers are with you and I know you will make it throught all the radiation treatments with all the ensouragement, support and advice from those of us who are a little ahead of you in the bc treatments.  Amy Jo

duckyb1

Amyjo49, thank you, and as in the past weeks I will be looking to you, and the other ladies for guidance as I move on to the next phase of treatment........thank you again.

dogsandjogs

Ducky: I have had people say some of these things too; i.e. you have the good cancer, you are old so it isn't so aggressive, etc. I think they mean well and I don't take offense.  I actually had a nurse in a hospital tell me while I was waiting for a bone scan years ago: "you are so lucky it is not lung cancer"

The ones I get irritated at are the ones who ignore you after they hear you have cancer. I have had two people with that reaction, they both positively "shunned" me.  I think they thought cancer was catching!!

sjames59

duckyb1 - Another dumb comment: "aren't you glad you don't have daughters?" I have three great sons, but really?

Thanks, AmyJo for the suggestion on aloe - I have the 100% gel but maybe should look for the real thing.

GirlFriday, the itchiness has started to wake me up at night and I take more benadryl. The burn has started to wake me up too, and being really thirsty! So I keep a bottle of water on the night stand, and ibuprofen/acetaminophen (I do a combination of the two). I look forward to sleeping through the night again, ha ha!

Hope everyone has a good week :-)

Sharon

cmbear

Sharon, I love the paper chain gift, what a great friend! You are lucky. I get the whole "tired of this cancer thing."  I have that breakdown before I have to go to work too often I am afraid! Can't find a shirt that doesn't rub on the burn, that doesn't show my rads burn and all my rads' techs lovely artwork. Unfortunately, my boss is not so understanding. I used all my vacation and sick time during chemo, took 4 weeks of short term disability for my DBMX, and now I have no "time" to take off. So if I feel crappy, sore, ON FIRE---I go to work. I work retail, and her concern is all about the store and sales. To say she is not a people person is an understatement. Fortunately, the rest of the store is very supportive. If I didn't have a son in college, I would quit in a nanosecond, but my husband thinks I "need" to work. (well, we do for the $$) RRggh, enough about my ranting!!

Ducky, I love the comment about the "big girl's panties!" Sometimes I don't want to be strong, sometimes I just want to melt into the pity party, but I know I am my best supporter. I have to tell myself to stop crying and think of the anything BUT cancer. This is only a year of my life and I WILL not let it have more. There is so much more to me, to ALL of us than BC. We are vibrant, loving, beautiful, and loved women who happen to share an illness that will not take our souls. If we can get thru the physical aspects--with a little help from meds and great friends--and the mental aspects--with the support of all you lovely ladies-- we will all be stronger for it.

And as for being a survivor. . . I'll personally claim it when I done with treatment and they tell me with no uncertainty that I am cancer free. But I am definitely a chemo survivor, and can't wait to be a rads survivor!!!  

duckyb1

Amen....cmblastic.....Let me tell you...........I am the owner of the "big girl panties" line......however the day before my surgery my youngest daughter (42) sent me a text which said "Hi Mom.......hope you have a good nights sleep, and have your "big girl panties" ready to wear in the morning.................I text back and said "I do Sweetie, but tomorrow I need suspenders to hold them up"...........I thought I ran out of tears way back on February 15th when the BS said to me "I am sure this is malignant".................I went to the Cardiologist a couple days after my diagnosis, and he said to me "your ankles look great, they are not swollen this visit"........I told him..........I guess not, all the freakin fluid has been coming out of my eyes, so it doesn't make it that far down"....................He roared...............I was not being funny.................He said to me "with this cancer diagnosis, you still have not lost your sense of humor.............I told him......On March 14th the BS can take the "lump", take the "nodes", and take the "cancer", but nothing, nor no one, not even "cancer" will take my sense of humor..................

My husband died from Pancreatic cancer, and minutes before it was all over for him, he was laboring breathing, and I said to him............do you want me to call Hospice and have them bring oxygen..............and he looked at me and said "well its for damn sure I'm in no condition to make the call".................still had his sense of humor, and died 15 minutes later.................

We all need to have our down times.........if we didn't we would not be human............but we have to keep on going, even if we have to put loops in our "big girl panties" so a belt can help the suspenders to hold them up..............we can and will do this.............we have to........for each other.............cancer, can not beat us.............we can't let it.................we all have too much to live for...............hugs girlfriends.

cmbear

Thanks Duckyb so much for making me laugh!!! HUGE hugs for helping me smile today!!

duckyb1

Your Welcome cmblastic..............any day you can laugh is a good day ............Here's to many more good days for you...........................Hugs......

4medleys

Started radition this afternoon. Very emotional for me, but all in all it went well. Some mechanical difficulties with the x-rays before the treatment. My shoulders and neck are killing me from keeping my arms over my head for so long. Thhat is the worst part. Saw two women in the waiting room one 48 the other 77. They are in their last 10 days and third week respectively. Seem to be doing very well. The ten days left lady was just "over" the whole thing. She had a slight sunburn, pickly skin and some brown spots but otherwise seemed okay. I just have to realize I will have no life for the next 6 1/2 weeks. I'm considering it a second job with no pay that I have to get to each afternoon. Blessings to all of us.  

Elisimo

Well Ladies, I have finished all 30 rad treatments!  I am a crispy critter, but I am done. Make that well done. ;-)  Now I just have to do everything to heal my skin.  I have an appointment with my onco tomorrow for labs, exam and Aredia IV treatment.  Then I am back to my somewhat normal routine.  I will still be popping in here from time to time to see how all your ladies.  Amy Jo

duckyb1

You go girl....................Amyjo I am so happy for you.................I can't wait till I'm where you are now..........I have been promised 33 treatments with 5 boosts...............I see my BS tomorrow......I'm sure he will have some info, and will be telling me when I might be ready to begin........I'm hoping something changes, but I'm sure it won't.............Ok, I guess I'll just be getting my early summer tan in spots I have never gotten tan before.................Not looking forward to this crap...................Not sure when I will see the Radiation Onc, but I'm certain it will be soon..................

sjames59

Congratulations Amy Jo! Here's wishing you a speedy healing process for your skin. Please let us know how it goes. Thank you for your encouragement on this board. :-)

Jwatrlily

Saw the RO yesterday after treatment and he told me the blister isn't from the radiation but from that circular disk they use to mark me.  He said they will have to stop using those on me and put a smaller, different texture one on.  So far, it feels better after they took the one off.  Some kind of skin reaction and something about that circular area under that disk being deprived of oxygen?  Makes sense as it's been covered up since Feb 25 with one of those.  Today will be treatment number 22 of the 25 regular ones then I get Monday the 4th off for planning of the boosts then Tuesday the 5th is simulation and then I start the boosts, 8 of them on Wed. April 6th.  Did I tell you all or you can see it in my diagnosis, that I am Triple Negative?  This scares me but I refuse to let it take over my life.  My Oncologist tells me I have a 10-15 % higher chance of a recurrence then hormone positive breast cancers.  He says since my tumor was Stage I and no lymph involvement that re balances things in my favor a bit.  Still, I'm scared.  I had a friend die in November after just a 2 year battle with Triple Negative.  Have a great day and congrats to those that have finished.

Hugs,

Juanita

Adey

I'm done!!!!!!! and a bit crispy...

kallimom

*8 to go....and I thought I wouldn't count until April 1.....things are getting red but the creams and oils seem to be keeping it under control....the rash is still going strong but that Calendula gel helps so much...sure glad I have it. Keep the faith ladies....we are getting there.

ToriGirl

Congrats ADEY!

I started boosts today...I have 8 to go, so will be done April 11th (missing this Friday)...

Hard to believe treatment is almost over...it's freaking me out a bit...

Have a wonderful day all!

Tori

4medleys

Thanks for your encouragement and that of the other ladies. It is good to read the comments. I thought I was Being such a baby as I was so emotional during my simulation and first treatment. Does anyone have pain from holding their hands about their head for so long in those planning visits? My shoulder blades are still not right. My chiropractor was a big help and told me some stretching exercises to do. Today was my second teatments - very short and not so bad. Should I be using the cream now??

Elisimo

duckyb - don't count on those number of treatments. I was originally told 35-40 treatments with 8 boosts and after I saw the RO it wound up being only 30 treatments with no boosts.  Take heart, no matter what it turns out to be you will make it thought.  Remember to keep the area well lubricated. If you need any information on what some of us have used you can PM me any time and I will be happy to fill you in with schedules and brands that have worked best for several other ladies.

Jaunita - I know this is really scary for you and it is for all of us, but triple negative is different from the hormone positive kinds.  There is a thread for triple negative ladies.  Maybe you can find more encouragement there.  I have a friend that is triple negative and she is going on her 11th year now and doing better than I am so don''t give up there are a lot of different treatments out there for all of us.  Know you are in my prayers.

Adey - congratulations girl! You are done with this part of the journey.

kallimom and tori - You both are almost done. Keep doing what you have been doing and remember to keep up the lube the boob routine for at least 2 weeks after treatments end.

4medleys - Yes, yes, yes, you should be using the creams NOW and use them often.  The position of your arms will affect your shoulders.  I am going to physical therapy 3 times a week to help get my range of motion back close to normal.  Please be sure your chiropractor is familiar with lymphodema!  It is a serious condiseration in your treatment for your shoulders.  You might want to check with your RO about a LE certified therapist.  They have a little different way to do the massages and exercises that will help reduce the incident of developing lymphodema in your arms and under the radiated areas.  Do not worry about being a baby or being emotional. We all have been there and know exactly how you are feeling. 

Hope everyone is doing well and remembers that you all are in my thoughts and prayers.  Take care and you can always PM me if your want about anything, even to rant or complain.  {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to all.  Amy Jo 

duckyb1

Amyjo..........thanks, and you can be sure I will be depending on "my ladies" to give me the best information there is for going through this.............and you are probably right, I will make it through........

Yesterday I went to the BS, (of course my son drove me although I am capable of driving myself)......I told him yesterday "I feel like I have grown a "tail", no matter which way I turn it is attached to my "south side" while I'm moving "north"..................He just laughed and said "get used to it".........................So anyway the BS said I can talk to the Radiation Onc, anytime I want to now...........He suggested making an appt............Which I will do.............I asked the BS all about lymphedema, and what I could do to prevent it..........what not to do so I don't get it...........and "hey by the way do I have it".................He smiled and said "stop worrying"............well on the way home I told my son what I had asked the BS...............He said "yea Mom, I know......he came out to the waiting room, and said to me, "we have to stop your Mom from worrying about things that have not, and possibly will not ever happen"..........................My son said "Your singing to the choir"......."when you find out how to do that, let the 6 of us know, cause we have been trying for years, and years, and does it look to you like we have succeeded.....................The Dr. just patted my son on the shoulder and said "I  get your point, laughed and walked away".

Sorry guys..............that's me, and at 75 I am not about to change..................My daughter said to me yesterday  "Mom if you didn't have something to worry about, you would not be happy".......

Another son called me today to ask who my Cardiologist is since he has to make an appt. with one........he went for a physical today and they told him to see a Cardiologist as soon as possible............My son said to me "hey Mom, now you can stop worrying about you for a while, and worry about me"....................Comedians,,,,,,all of them.............Have a great day ladies, and trust me I will be coming to you all for advice on this Rad. treatment..........Can't think of anyone else I would rather have giving me advice.............hugs.

sjames59

Congratulations, Adey, on finishing! Hope the "crispy" heals quickly.

I have 5 boosts left to go, counting today's, so will finish on Tuesday. Bought an aloe vera plant yesterday, and am using the goop inside, it's helped. I've nicknamed the 2 machines I've used (in a kind of takeoff on Sesame Street's Bert & Ernie), "Hurt & Burnie". I'd like to do something as a thank you for the techs/staff, who have all been really great throughout the past six weeks, though I haven't decided what. Time for another saline soak.

Sharon

Adey

Hurt and Burnie!!!  Dats funny.

Elisimo

duckyb - I had all the signs of developing LE in my upper arm, but then I got some good advice and a therapist who was certified in LE treatments and we still have to watch it closely, but so far so good.  Here a couple of things that no one told me that I found out almost too late.  Don't carry your purse on the sholder of the same arm that had the node disection.  In my case it is both shoulders.  I now just try to carry it either in my hand or over my arm at the elbow.  Pay attention to your body and if you notice any place that is swelling have it checked out as soon as possible.  Also be sure to drink lots of water.  At least 1/2 your body weight in oz.  (I weight 158 so I need to drink at least 79 oz a day, I usually drink about 94 oz.)  If you have had a tendency to retain water in the past, i.e. swollen ankles or hands, talk to your doctor about HCTZ. I take 2 mg once a day.  If you do develope and signs of LE and are going to be flying a lot talk to your doctor about a LE compression sleeve, if you ever need one most insurance covers 100% of the cost.  I have not needed one as I fly so seldom.  Do be sure to get as much rest as you can, but also do some light exercises if you are able, like a walk in the park, riding a stationary bike, yoga, arm stretches or whatever you can do. If you have any questions or worries you can alway come here or PM me and if I don't have the answer I will find it for you and the ladies here are a wealth of knowledge.  I hope you do not have a problem with LE and most do not, but it is a concern.  Tha is one of the reasons they do not take the blood pressure on the arm of the node disection. So try not to worry too much and know we are all here for you.

Sharon - love the names that will give everyone something to laugh about during treatments.

Joy and blessings, Amy Jo 

 

duckyb1

Amyjo.........you are a wonderful friend, with lots of information, and I want to thank you and will take your advice.........thanks again

kallimom

Have to say I am right there with you....if I hear anyone else tell me "You look good" I think I am going to scream....don't they realize how hard we work to not look like a cancer person? Amazing what makeup and a wig can do. I wore makeup before so why not now.

Finished the last of regular treatments yesterday...5 boosts to go. They tell me being a smaller area my rash will begin to heal...good thing, I am about going nuts with it....if it wasn't for the Calendula gel and Advil I would probably be in the loony bin. I am pretty red under the arm and down the side but it doesn't hurt, just a little touchy, I keep putting the creams, etc on it...hoping next week doesn't make things to much worse. My left breast really seems to feel swollen, but maybe it is just the skin and irritated scar tissue and the implant. I hope it all goes away.

I agree, sometimes it is just emotional...plus I am feeling tired. The tears just seem to appear....especially at night when it is quiet....praying for all of us that after all we have gone through it doesn't come back. May you all have a good weekend, a time to relax and a break from the treatments and the stress.

Elisimo

Hey Ladies,

The tiredness will actually get worse for a few weeks after you are finished.  So be sure to drink more water, because the tears will flow!  For no apparent reason I will just start crying and my poor DH does not know what to do so he just holds me which of course makes me cry more.  He is such a dear sweet man.  Don't worry about the tears, just go ahead and cry, it will get better as your body heals from all the radiation.  Remember to keep using your creams for at least 2 weeks after you finish treatments or until your skin is completely healed.

 I have found it helps to do some arm streches and either ride my stationary bike for a few minuters or take a walk around the neighborhood.  A little bit of exercies, yes I hate that word too, is a good thing to help your body heal.

Thinking of all of you.  Amy Jo 

cmbear

Adey---WOOOHOOO!! Congrats on finishing this phase!! Now time for some gentle healing.

My last regular treatment was Friday, I start boosts on Monday. My tech says to me "you'll only get blasted once for 30 seconds." Gotta love the 45 minutes back and forth I spend for those 30 seconds. Only 5 more, only 5 more. Can't wait for the fire on my chest to go away!!

Hope everyone is enjoying their 2 days of healing. Rest, relax and cream it up!!