Close friend BRCA+, no BC - severely depressed - please help

AmyIsStrong

Ladies- after 2 years dealing with bc and many many posts, this is actually the very first thread I have started myself. And it isn't even about me! I hope you can help me and give some advice/direction.

I have a friend who is 55. We used to work together- she was a project manager, smart, funny, successful, energetic, etc. She always had a minor problem with depression/anxiety but it was manageable. 

A few years ago her mom was dx with ovarian cancer in her 70s. (she is doing quite well). She tested BRCA+, so the 3 daughters were tested, and 2 were positive, including my friend. She had a complete hysterectomy (or whatever it's called when they take ovaries, uterus, & everything).  

So a few days ago, I gave her a call, as we have fallen out of touch. I knew she had some severe stress at work and had taken short term disability for depression.  Well, I was horrified when I spoke to her. She said she is doing terribly - actually she said "Some days are better than others" but it SOUNDED terrible to me! She said she is severely depressed, sleeps all the time, has to leave the house during the day to be around people (library, Starbucks) because she is afraid she will harm herself if she is alone!  Her husband is a successful psychologist (works with children), and she is being treated by a psychiatrist, but (predictably) it is mostly all about tweaking the meds, trying different ones, etc.  

She said her #1 problem is that she cannot think clearly - her mind is in a fog, she can't rememeber anything, she can't read or cook or do simple tasks. This does not sound like depression to me! She is home alone all day, and OF COURSE that is sad and depressing. She has gained weight because all she has to do is eat. 

It was very very upsetting to me to hear my formerly strong, competent friend talk this way.  

So my question is - does this sound like depression to you, OR could some of it be a result of the hysterectomy and being in surgi-pause? Could her hormones be out of balance and that is why she can't think clearly?  Could she be overmedicated and taht's why she is sleeping all the time?

I encouraged her to research 'hormone imbalance' online to see if this mental stuff (plus severe mood swings she mentioned also) could be a result of the hysterectomy.  The psychiatrist just keeps trying different SSRIs, or different combinations.

Also, do you thinkn I should post this in the BRCA section or the hormonals section? I really want to give her some encouragement or something else to try. It was extremely upsetting to hear her this way.

(And just fyi, none of it had anything to do with the BRCA dx. She doesn't seem particularly concerned about that.)

Thank you so much to anyone who responds. I know this is an unusual question, but I have ultimate faith in the BCO sisters!

Thanks

Amy

Del11

Definitely post this in the High Risk section, and you can also post to FORCE at http://facingourrisk.org/messageboard/

I'm BRCA1+, have known for about 3 years, had total hysterectomy (at 41) and bilateral mastectomy this past year (at 43).

I was definitely depressed when I got my diagnosis, and also after I had the hysterectomy. I do believe depression is an underreported side effect of estrogen loss, although if your friend was 55 at the time she was probably already in menopause and shouldn't have felt a huge difference after surgery. Unfortunately, at her age I don't think any dr would put her on estrogen replacement.

There are some BRCA+ psychotherapists on the FORCE boards, you might get some good feedback there.

Best wishes for your friend.

-Brenda

AmyIsStrong

I posted it there at your suggestion. Thank you so much!

tabby

Amy:  It never hurts to help a friend in need.  Thank you for taking the time to do that for her.  I had my ovaries removed last year and it has really thrown me for a loop!  My doctors say there is something to the going menapausal overnight thing.  It has affected sleep, my emotional state, and the libido (or lack thereof) and the dryness thing.  I also had some pelvic issues and it's just depressing to hear the ob talk about how everything will thin out there and get tight and there's nothing you can do.  The only thing they use is estrogen cream, everything else is just like putting lotion on it--the replens thing only does that, it cannot help "rebuild" the area.  I've also been diagnosed with a type of arthritis.  I wonder if your friend has had a similar response where it just feels like your body is falling apart right in front of you and all you are getting is bad news.  This time of year doesn't help anything either.  Anyway, thank you for taking the time to help a friend.  Any effort to help someone in need can only help her.  Best wishes.  Tabby