I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

gardengumby

Likewise.  Thank-you, RL.

Anonymous

Athena - this article, of course, made me think, again, of you - and knowing you'd cheer with us at the good sense, humanity of Costco http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/06/news/economy/costco-fast-food-strikes/index.html?iid=HP_LN somehow the world is still going on, it feels so very, very, very different.

shock is changing to tears

Marple

How lovely to see a picture of Athena.  Her smile could have melted the polar ice cap.  (And of course it's lovely to see RL and E too.)

Enjoyful

Athena had a megawatt personality and intellect to match that beautiful smile.  She is sorely, deeply, missed.

We love you, girl.

juliaanna

RL, thank you for sharing your picture.

Chickadee

Thank you for that picture. Maybe I'm just projecting but ill be darned if Athena doesn't have the facial shape and mane of a lioness. Does anyone else see it? Beautiful.

Anonymous

That smile - I'm smiling cuz I pictured her to be about 6 feet tall....wearing Prada....the memorial is taking place now.  Prayers for all.

kad2kar

Peace to Pamela and all who loved our Athena       kad2kar

Beesie

Chickadee, I thought the same thing. A true Lioness, even in appearance.  And what a beautiful smile!   RL, thank you for sharing the picture. 

lewing

Thanks for posting the picture, Libby - and I agree there's something regally leonine about Athena's face.  (I've been away from BCO awhile but I heard the terribly sad news last night and wanted to join in commemorating her here.)

Rest peacefully, Lioness, while we hold you close in our thoughts and our hearts.

Linda

suzieq60

Thankyou Libby - it is so great to see our Pamela

Bren-2007

Hello Friends,

I can't stop thinking about Pamela.  She has been on mind continually today.  I am so happy that Libby is attending her memorial service today.  Hopefully, Libby will write a note when she returns home after the service.

I am still stunned that Pamela is gone.  I thought she had written she was doing well on the Tamoxifen.  This breaks my heart.  It just seems like it was so sudden .. guess I'm never prepared to lose a friend.

hugs to all who are grieving

Bren

pupmom

Thank you for sharing the picture, HL. I also thought Pamela was much taller. What a lovely smile indeed!

Anonymous

Bren, I understand just what you're saying.  Maybe it's my expertise at DeNile, but I was sure she was going to get through this horrible phase, and make it for a long time. She faced her "comorbidity" with such courage,  just really felt she was going to make it.  Keep hoping the ending was peaceful for her.

To have it happen so fast - really - April was just a few months ago - but in a way, that too may be a blessing. SO hard to see it that way, now...

alexandria58

The long silence had worried me.  I knew our lioness would be weighing in on all sorts of discussion - if she were able.

Anonymous

and as the DeNile expert, I was just hoping she was "regrouping" - and resting under the acacia tree...which is a huge part of the loss, wondering if there was more we could have done to support her....

Anonymous

Just checking in - to see how all are doing, and to wish all a pleasant evening.  I'd say "sweet dreams" but nothing feels very sweet today.

Thinking of Blue, and hoping you are not in pain.  Enjoyful - good scans,

and all heartfelt thanks to The Pride for getting us all through this very difficult time. 

pip57

I too am completely shocked.  It was all so fast.  Damn.  This retched disease just keeps sneaking up on us all.  And friends wonder why I will never feel safe or 'cured'.

Sending warm thoughts to Athena's family.  She was a central character in this corner of the universe.

Enjoyful

Heavy heart tonight.  But I do have a tiny spot of good news - the scans showed no cancer in my organs.  So, for now, it's confined to bone.

Love, comfort, and peace to Athena's family and friends.  Difficult to believe that such a vibrant person is no longer among us.

crazy4carrots

E -- Such good news to hear you're clearly organic, or is that organically clear?

Athena was such a wonderful presence in our little corner; a much loved and greatly admired member of our little family.  She will always be with us.  We shall never forget her.

RetiredLibby

I went to Athena's memorial service today.  It was lovely, and I took everyone's love and care and sympathy to her family.  I told them that everyone here who loved Athena was in my purse because that's the way we did things when we went for scans or medical appointments, so I just loaded you all in my purse and you came with me.  They laughed and really appreciated it.

Here is a brief description of the memorial.

Athena's memorial service was lovely.  Her family was wonderfully gracious and warm and welcoming.  They had no idea how active Athena was on BCO.org -- it was her onc who told her sister that she was very active there, that she considered it a life-saver, and that she needed to contact BCO to let them know and tell her friends.  I emailed her sister last night and she was the one who greeted me when I got there today.

Athena died peacefully.  She was not in pain.  She just went to sleep and didn't wake up.  She died on July 30.  She was 46 years old.  She was greatly loved by her entire family and many, many friends and admirers. 

The service was lovely.  When the priest he gave his short sermon, he mentioned that he hadn't met Athena, but that he had gotten a clear picture of her from her sisters and colleagues and from reading her writing from a former career, and he could see that she was a force to be reckoned with.  He particularly touched me, however, when he said, "I don't believe it is 'God's will' that people get cancer.  I don't believe that it is 'God's plan' for a vibrant young woman to die at 46 of cancer.  I don't believe God wants this suffering.  But He is here for us to turn to for comfort."  Afterwards when he was greeting people at the door, I told him that I was deeply moved by what he said about it not being "God's will" and he said, quite simply and sincerely, "And I believe that."  I felt comforted.   

Athena's sister introduced me around to family and friends as someone who was a friend of Athena's from BCO - and that I was representing her friends at BCO.  Her family welcomed me with kindness and warmth - they took me right in.  They were so deeply appreciative that Athena had found a home here at BCO and had friends from around the world.  She was never alone -- she always had us.  

Before the service I told them about BCO and we talked about Athena and her health issues.  They were so pleased and relieved that she was very open about her co-morbidity and the associated issues. They had worried that she had no-one to talk to.  I told them that when she progressed, she came back to tell us that her family was there with her and they were wonderful.  I told them that she repeated it more than once, that her family was just wonderful.  They were very happy to hear that. 

 At the wake, her sisters talked and told stories about when she was little - she has been a force of nature her whole life!  One common theme was her fierce protection of her privacy.  That's why they were so happy that she was so open on BCO - she felt she could be because she was anonymous behind her screen name and avatar.  They talked a lot about her affinity for lions and her leonine personality. 

They told a funny story of when Athena started working for Barack Obama's first presidential campaign.  At the family Christmas (must've been in 2007), she was telling everyone that she didn't want presents, she wanted them to donate to this fellow Barack Obama because he was going to be the next president.  The sole Republican cousin finally told his wife, "Oh, just give her some money!" To this day, the cousins tease him unmercifully about helping to elect Barack Obama. 

Her work colleagues spoke similarly of her fierce desire for privacy and her equally fierce devotion to liberal causes and politics, to animals, and to social justice.  

I spoke about Athena's world at BCO.  I told them that we had met in person in December 2010 when Enjoyful, Athena and I had lunch -- and we talked so long that they were setting up for dinner when we finally vacated our table.  I told them about our threads and how we quite vocal and liberal, and we had several threads deleted and sometimes Athena was banned because people who didn't agree with her deleted her posts.  One of her brothers-in-law laughed and said, "GOOD - that means she was saying things that needed to be said!"  Her family is very liberal and they are very proud of her politics and that she so fiercely worked for them. 

I talked about the things we talked about and she talked about on the thread - politics, morality, social justice, fashion, current events, poetry, art, managing to live with cancer - anything and everything.  I told them that she was a force of nature on the boards, one of the leaders of the thread, and that everyone loved her dearly.  I told them that she has touched the lives of hundreds, if not thousands, of women all around the world -- not just the women who comment but the ones who read and don't comment. 

I told them how when she was off the boards, we would post pictures of lions or tasty lion meals to lure her back. 

I told them that we on BCO had developed a ritual that whenever anyone went to a doctor's appointment or for scans, we always said we would go along in her purse.  We would bring music and snacks in the purse, and we would throw things at nurses who were bad stickers and we would yell at doctors who were bad doctors.  And I promised that everyone could ride in my purse to the service, and so there were several hundred women in my purse over there (I pointed and people looked) - all the good wishes and love and condolences from all of Athena's friends all over the world.  

I told them that Athena was greatly loved and admired, and that we would be poorer without her presence.  Then I told them that among pet lovers, we have the story of the Rainbow Bridge where the pets we have had to let go wait for us to join them.  And I said that we believe that Athena is with her beloved dog Athena and they are romping and getting reacquainted. And that Athena and her dog Athena have joined our other sisters who have gone before us - KonaKat and her kitties Ursula and Chloe, and Alpal, and my sister, and the others who went before us.  And Athena and KK and Alpal and my sister are all rolling their eyes at the current shenanigans in the House of Representatives and preparing to shoot spitballs at them or figuring out how to motivate them to do the right thing.  And I said that we know she loves us and she does not want us to be in pain.  So we celebrate Athena until we see her again.  

Athena's family told me how grateful they were that Athena had BCO and her friends here, and that I came to deliver the love and sympathy everyone from here was sending.  

 

And that was the day today. 

 

I miss her.

 

L

 

RetiredLibby

And this is for Athena.  It is what I would like as my epitaph:

Late Fragment

by Raymond Carver

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

L

Enjoyful

Thank you, RL, for sharing Athena's memorial service with us.  You did a great thing, sharing this part of Athena's life with her family and friends, and I'm sure they are grateful and heartened by it.

Love you all.

Wabbit

Wonderfully done Libby!  Thank you so much for taking all our love for Athena to her family. 

crazy4carrots

Libby -- Thank you so much for speaking to Athena's family and friends on our behalf.  The cyberworld is wonderful, except when it comes to times like this when we are scattered all over and not able to pay our respects and express our love in person.  So glad you were able to do that -- and do it so, so well. 

208sandy

Thank you HL.

IllinoisLady

Wow !!!  I had one of those kinds of days....started at 6:30 a.m. and didn't finish until now and then I read the devastating news.  Hard to believe, harder to accept. Athena, the beauiful, energetic lady lion was a most wonderful treasure ( wonderful brain droppings )  and I never tired of hearing her thoughts and attempting to SEE things just the way she spoke about them.  She had much grit and gusto.  The world is less....but eternity -- now thats never going to be the same.  She was so very much to so many and she was a positive truth....a loving light....and her light will always be.

Jackie

Chickadee

And the lion sleeps tonight . Make that lioness.

Belinda44

Libby, thank you for your wonderful post.  So glad you were able to attend Athena's service and that you conveyed all the love and respect we all have had for Athena.  So good to know she was not in any pain at the end and passed peacefully.  I'm glad you fit us all in your purse today and represented BCO.  I'm sure you brought her family much comfort, not only with your presence, but the wonderful present you gave them....your lovely words and remembrances.  Thank you.

alexandria58

Libby, I have no more words.  You said them all.  Thank you.