Taxotere is a nightmare

TonLee

((Tracie))

Lago...ouch.  Those look painful.  I kept my acrylic nails, just had them done yesterday, and so far so good....hope I don't get them. 

Fatigue comes and goes with me.  The more I exercise and move around, the less it comes.

marjie

Awww hang in there Tracie!!  I am just coming into some crappy days now -  I can feel it.  I just keep trying to tell myself "last time...last time...last time" but I am really tired of being REALLY TIRED.  Told my DH today that I would be so happy one day to wake up and see even just a bit of the old me in the mirror.

We'll get there....

lago

Marjie hang on. Hard to not let the last one get to you. You think it's over but then the SE keep coming. I'm 3 weeks out from last one and still getting SE's.

LadyinBama

I'm 9 weeks out and things are slowly getting better. I had all the SEs, but some not as severe and some more so. All my fingernails look yellowish and unhealthy, but only the right hand thumb turned black. But it's not lifting off. And I cut them off short because they were sore when I hit them on anything. Since I cut them, they quit hurting. My lashes and brows don't seem to be making much headway, but the ones on the right are doing better than the ones on the left. And after thinking I'd be bald on top forever, it is finally slowly coming in. I look like I have a 5'oclock shadow now, so it's coming in, some dark and some fuzzy/gray looking. And my energy is coming back. I can go without a nap for the first time since chemo started.

Hang in there ladies. It seems like it will never end, but it does get better. Tracie, on the days (weeks) I couldn't stand the way I looked, I just quit looking! I couldn't stand to look in the mirror, so I just avoided it. I'm finally starting to look like myself a little; more color, less puffiness. I find if I put on enough eyeliner, a cute hat and some earrings, I look and feel almost like a woman!

P.S. I had a laproscopic ooph yesterday. It went smoothly, I'm sore, but feeling ok.

ktym

lago, I'll echo what Sandy said, my Onc is great, but, it was the PCP that came up with the practical adjusting back to reality and functioning better help.  It wasn't until after chemo ended they warned me it can take a year or longer to start feeling like your old self again.  Although, probably a good thing they didn't tell me that up front

marjie

Today, achey, and puffy chemo face. <<insert f-bomb!!>>

You know, I think it's the time of year that is helping to discourage everyone a little too but today, I'm pissy!

lago

I talked with nurse un-ratched at infusion today. Things are being addressed. Not sure why the communication broke down but she is checking into the email situation. She was really quite helpful. Yes they are following up with me because I am still doing herceptin. They do want to know stuff. I was also told I can/should wait to do the estrogen sucking drug till March 1. Easier to count 5  years instead of starting in the middle of the month.

Marjie just yesterday I told my LE PE that I felt like Violet from Willie Wonka but not getting all those antioxidant benefits that she got (from the blueberries).

tracie23

I have a terrible UTI I am heading to the docs... it hurts so freakin bad and I have blood in my urine... PAINFULL

marjie

I think I might be heading that way too with the UTI.....what is going on???  Just starting tho - I will see what tomorrow brings.  Good luck Tracie.

lago

Drink cranberry juice for UTIs. You will still need treatment from the doc but cranberry juice can cure mild UTIs, reduce pain and is great for prevention. I used to get them as a kid and in my 20's all the time. (Was resolved with a simple procedure but not appropriate for post-menpausal/chemo-pausal UTI issues).

LadyinBama

Tracie: I  hate UTIs, bladder and kidney infections. Worse pain ever! Hope you get fixed up fast.

shooshoo23

I am so sorry I didn't search these boards sooner. I could have been going through this with all of you wonderful ladies! I actually had my last TC round on the 31st. It has been a nightmare. After the first round I ended up in the hospital for 3 days because the diarreah got my electrolytes all messed up. During the second round I had a reaction in the chair and my onc said he'd never seen that before. Then about 10 days out of that second round my hands and feet itched so bad I wanted to cut them off. They got swollen and really sore. I spent 3 days asleep from the Benadryl before that all went away. Third round of chemo I had panic attacks so bad I ended up in the ER. I was refusing the 4th round but friends and family wanted me to finish so I did on the 31st. The days following this last treatment have been the worst of my life! The panic attacks are rediculous! I went to the ER twice! They gave me fluids and ativant (which didn't work), checked my numbers and sent me home. After being awake for more than 3 days straight I finally just crashed and the panic seemed to go away. I had a pretty good day yesterday and was celebrating because it was over.....Then today, the heartburn is so bad it feels like a knife all the way through my chest. AND my itchy, swelly, sore hands and feet are back!!! I took benadry about 2 hours ago and it's not helping! I pray it doesn't get worse than it is right now. Wow, that's my whole chemo journey up to now. What a great place to vent. My husband doesn't want to hear it anymore. Any advice for my itchy, swelly, sore feet and hands??

bdavis

Had my 2nd TX today and all went well.. actually better than TX#1... the first time I had burning eyes for 5 minutes about 3x... this time no effects at all... Of course there is always tomorrow... I am thinking I will grab some Claritin instead of taking my Allegra for my Neulasta shot on Thursday (start taking it tomorrow)... Will keep you all posted...

i continue the icing of my nails  and drank about 5 drinks during infusion... I really think thats the key for me... flush it through.

shooshoo23

ummm....YUM!

tracie23

shooshoo23: I am now contemplating the same thing.... I have one more taxotere next week... I don't know if I can do it. The UTI was the worst I have never been in that much pain the Dr. gave me a shot checked my blood count and gave me a ton of medicine. My husband is also being a total A$$. I would love to see him go through what I do and keep up the house , keep up our 9 yr old daughter keep up the good attitude !!! I am so sick of being the cheer leader in our relationship when all I want to do is just curl up and die..... He has been so rude to me to the point I can't even believe that I married him last night he came home and didn't even talk to me barely even acknowledged me and than told me this morning in a heated discussion that he was smarter than me and I should just realize it. Each day he drops little bombs on me like , I work my ass off.... when I get 2 pennys to rub together I will get my teeth fixed, If I had the money I would do this etc...... basiclly he is telling me I have sucked the life and money out of him this year.... I hate every day of this and I don't know if I can do it ONE MORE TIME.... I am broke and I am sick of being sick ...... and I am tired of crying over someone who clearly does not care about me.

jeanette41

Men are really strange creatures.....

I was told by my guy last week that "you only have breast cancer". Geesh....I have lost my breast, had lymph nodes yanked out, am still struggling with my arm/shoulder, and am undergoing chemo. After all this I will have a 91% chance of being cured, and a 9% chance that this will kill me someday. The sucky part is they can't tell me which category I fall in until I die. Good f'king thing I only have breast cancer, huh??

And these men are the ones who can't seem to get themselves up off the couch when they have a simple cold. Grrrrrr......

Omaz

tracie and jeanette  - (((((hugs to you both))))) 

marjie

Tracie - you think for YOU right now.  I hate that you have to go through this ... like we don't have it tough enough.  My DH and I had one blowout and I was just in such bad shape that I literally just shut down on him - told him to leave me alone.  I was really sick and after a few days of leavig me alone, I think he realized that it's time to stop acting like an ass.  I don't know it's hard on them but lets face it - men can be so selfish.  You focus you getting yourself better - don't waste your energy on him until you have it to spare.

Everything will start looking up, I promise (((hugs)))

thegood5

Hi ladies!  I'm new to the site and must say I really wish I would have gotten on here sooner.  It is so nice to know that I'm not a lone, not that I wish this on anyone.  I totally agree with shadow2356, sometimes you feel like no one understands and then you see what everyone on here is going thru and you do feel validated.  Today marks 3 weeks out from my last chemo cocktail of taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin.  Now I just go every 3 weeks for herceptin, my  miracle drug which has totally shrunk my tumors down to nothing.  Having a lumpectomy on the 23rd and a node removed from my armpit....not looking forward to that and the lovely drainage bag that comes with it, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!  4-6 weeks after that I start radiation.  Hang in there Tracie...taxotere sucks, but you will get thru.  I went to my last appt. before my last chemo and begged my oncol to let me skip it because I couldn't stand the side effects that followed.  I would have a panic attack coming off of the steroids and felt like I was hit by a truck about 2 days after.  I also experienced clogged tear ducts that the oncol said was from the taxotere, so for 2 weeks after chemo I would walk around looking like I was constantly crying...tears would just roll down my face.  But now I am feeling terrific, so glad I did that last round, would regret it now if I didn't.  Just remember, we know what you are going thru with it and you are not alone!  Take care and hang in there, it will soon be over!

Paula1231

O Tracie, you can do it!  Finish that last taxol and be done with it.  Gather your strength and keep it for yourself.  I know that on some level your husband is scared and so he is taking it out on you.  Some men act like children for the most part.  Mom always kissed away their boo boos, so they have never really been taught to be rocks in the storm.  You are stronger than you think and you will get thru this.  I am here for you and I am sending gentle prayers and good karma your way.

You too Marjie,  I am glad your man snapped out of it.  Its hard to kick someone who is already down, and to his credit I will bet he is embarrassed at his behavior.  Huggs to you too!

thegood5

shooshoo23, had the same thing with the panic attacks a day and a half after my chemo...Onc said it was from coming off the steroids so she had me wean off of them this last time and it still happened.  I'm already on meds for panic attacks for 2 yrs. now.  I also take a Rx acid reflux med which totally helps with the heartburn.  No advice for the sore/itchy feet and hands except maybe a nice foot rub...Onc told me to take some Ativan, but it didn't really help.  Good luck to you and hang in there with the chemo...it sucks but is worth it in the long run!

lago

tracie and jeanette I am so sorry you have to deal with the husband issues too. BTW tracie if your husband was smarter than you he would be saying it. jeanette some men say "stupid" things. My dad might say something like "you didn't put on that much weight" no realizing how it sounds… and my dad is a really smart guy. Retired chemistry professor!One thing I've learned is no one can possibly understand what breast cancer is like till they go through this themselves. I had no idea!

tracie I know how you feel. I didn't want to do #5 or #6 but I did and I am now 3+ weeks from that last chemo. I am still dealing with SE but I'm feeling so much better than I did this weekend. You can do it.

shooshoo23 I was taking zyrtec the entire time on chemo as instructedby my onc. I am sure it kept the itching (hives) away. I only got Benadryl with my infusion. Both Benadryl and Zertec (or claritin) should help will allergic reactions like hives and swelling but check with your onc before you take either one. There could be other issues with your case that might prevent you from taking them. I had sore feet after the 1st 3 infusions but then it stopped. 

For heartburn I was first on prilosec. Didn't work so then put on protonix. I did have more heart burn issues but most people can be resolved with either drug. I am now just weening off it now that chemo is over. Again talk with your MD about taking either of these drugs.

I also had a prescription for anxiety but never used them. Talk to your doc about that too. It's not unusual for women to need meds for anxiety when going through chemo, breast surgery or even an MRI.

Hi thegood5 and any other newbies I missed. I just had my 1st herceptin only yesterday.

thegood5

Thanks lago.  Hope all goes well with you on the Herceptin.  It was truly a miracle drug for me, after my 1st dose my onc couldn't even feel my tumor or lymph node any more.  I also have a node on my liver and a lymph node and bone met on my sternum, and all have reduced considerably on herceptin.  Just had another breast MRI this morning and hoping all are gone, meet with the liver surgeon Friday in Philly to see what my options are.  Hopefully it will work as well for you as it did for me!  It's great to not have to worry about SE's except for a little fatigue and/or achy-ness!  Best of luck to you!

shooshoo23

Tracie, that breaks my heart for you! I don't understand men. I have felt through my whole experience that he has only been concerned about how this has affected him. And really other than doing dishes a few times, vaccuming a few times and taking my boys (15&10) to school in the morning his life hasn't changed at all. My mom has been going to my appointments with me and she and the ladies I work with have been bringing meals for 2 weeks after each TX. When I have the panic attacks he just screams at me that I'm fine and gets very angry with me. Iwanted to go to the ER because I really thought I was dying and he told me he would take me to the hospital when he felt I needed to go to the hospital! My mom ended up taking me. He and my boys wanted me to have the last round so I did it for them. I really think my husband just wants me to get better so he won't have to be a single parent and take care of himself! Anyway, I did the last one for my boys and because I thought if I didn't do it and I had a recurrance ever I would blame myself for not taking the full treatment. I would always wonder what if. I would never judge anyone who decided to quit chemotherapy. It is the most horrible experience I can imagine! But you have a daughter, right? She needs her mom. I have read all the wonderful supportive posts here and I would love to be a cheerleader for you too!

thegood5: I hate that anyone else has panic attacks but I'm a little relieved! You are the first lady I've found that has them too. I've been on Zoloft for several years and I have klonopin for severe attacks. I'v managed it pretty well until the chemo! My onc didn't say a word about the steroids causing it! Just asks me everytime if I have ever seen a mental health professional! HA! I do hate how the steroids make me feel though. Can't sit still at all!

lago: thanks for the tips. I so wish I had found you guys sooner. The support you ladies show each other is so awesome! I think it would have helped me through a lot of terrible times. 

Trisha-Anne

Sending hugs and strength to Tracie and Jeanette xoxo

Men can be very strange indeed.  It's good Jeanette that your's has realised he's being childish.  Tracie - as the others have said - build your strenth and keep it for you.  You have to focus on you at the moment and concentrate on getting better.  

I can understand the not wanting to do the last round.  I had such awful se's from the first Taxotere, I really don't want to go back and do the last two.  My next one is Tuesday next week, and I'm already dreading it.  I know I have to do it, otherwise I'll regret it if things go wrong sometime in the future.  But in the days when I was feeling so awful, I was thinking I'd rather die of cancer than go through another round of T.  I'm feeling more positive now that I'm feeling better, but it's a battle.  You only have one more to do - keep that in your mind - just one more then it's over.

Sending you lots and lots of love and strength

Trish

xoxo

lago

Trisha-Anne I have lost 2 grandmothers and just 2.5 years ago my MIL to cancer. Not breast cancer (colon, lymphoma, lung) but still cancer. I know these SE are much easier than what they went through. As much as I wanted to not go to my 6th and final treatment I new I didn't want the alternative.

tracie23

Hi girls, Thanks for the words... ShooShoo our husbands must be spawn from the same bad seed.....He does nothing even when he sees me working around the house barely able to stand up from the chemo he doesn't even ask if I need help. When I had to go into the hospital he acted like it was such a chore to have to go through all the trouble.... he was actually yelling at me in our room thank God I was in isolation... I do believe he is only looking forward to when the attention is put back on him.

Marj I am going to ignore him and stop making sure he is ok .... I am so tired I don't care anymore if he is or not if he is walking and talking I will assume he is ok.

I have been thinking all day about the last treatment and I am going to do it... your all right I would go nuts if it came back and I would always wonder  if it was becuase I didn't do the last one. My Mom was also very upset that I was thinking of not doing it. I have a support group meeting tonight and the Oncologist that runs is having dinner brought in , massage chairs, make up help, door prizes I can't wait to get the hell out of here and be with the girls. I have not been out of my house since chemo other than a quick run to the grocery store I think it will help out a great deal to get out and I won't have to look at him for a few hours . I am so greatful for everyone who comes on this sight I feel so alone all the time and I can't thank everyone enough for supporting me.

jkh287

Traci:  Have you tried Paclitaxel-protein bound (trade name Abraxane)?  I couldn't do Taxol (had a code red episode at the Mayo after 10cc), but this is Taxol with nano particles around it and I found I could handle that.  It is the same medicine but easier for some to take.

I too had a horrific marriage to a mental abuser.  Can you qualify for Social Security disability?  You have to have worked and paid SS taxes in the last 10 years 

thegood5

shooshoo23:  I too am on zoloft, a generic called Sertraline...helps me immensely.  My onc wasn't the one who thought it was from the steroids, it was my husband and I who brought it up to her and she agreed that it could be from that.  The last round she had me taking lorazepam to help, but like I said, I still had an attack.  So sorry to hear that your husband gave you such crap about your attacks...I truly never realized what people go thru with them until I experienced them myself and wouldn't wish them on anyone.  The same with BC...no one can say anything or judge until they go thru it themselves.  I think all of the stress about the chemo and knowing how bad I would feel also added to the anxiety and helped with the attacks.  Hopefully now that your chemo is over, your attacks will subside.  It's nice to know we aren't alone...I so appreciate being able to read what others have to say and it helps me to know I am not the only one going thru some of the things I am and that there is such support on here.  Better days are ahead!

tracie23

Hi Ladies, I hope everyone is doing better today? Yesterday was a very dark day for me but today I am feeling better. I wanted to thank you all again for your words of encouragement. This is the toughest thing I have ever gone through. I want you all to know I think you are awesome!!!!!