Single Parenting Durring Chemo

IzzyO

I start AC chemo on 1/4/10. Looking to get a feel for what the timing will be for side effects so I can figure out how to best parent my child durring chemo. Onc doc says days 4-6 are worst days after 1st treatment. Wondering if this is true. My child is 7 and family and friends are not close enough to help with day to day matters so any advice on preparation/organization would be appreciated.  Thanks

momand2kids

Hi there

I had 4 rounds of AC--- I was treated on Fridays- I found Friday and Saturday to be OK- although I was a little naseous (and I get nauseous very easily).  Sunday and Monday I felt like a had a flu--usually did not get back to work until Tue/Wed.  then I would be on the upswing untl the next week and the next treatment--I felt pretty good in between treatments.  I have young children-but I did not have to do it alone--can you get some help for the few days after the treatment?

good luck

Tabbymom

I had 6 rounds of A/C.   Honestly, it wasn't too bad.   Was sickest after my 2nd treatment for some odd reason, but maybe for a day or two?   The neulasta shots will make you sore, but not sick, in my experience.   So yeah, I would say days 2-4.   I worked full days between treatments for the most part. 

dlb823

Izzy, can you reach out to neighbors and other school Moms?  Without knowing your 7-year old's schedule or where you live, I think anything others can do for you to ease your schedule would be helpful, especially as you get a few weeks into chemo and will no doubt have some fatigue.  Maybe if you confide in your child's teacher, they might pass the word about your situation to the other Moms in your child's class, which could result in carpool offers or additional playtime invitations, etc.  I know it's difficult, but you may need to reach out more than you normally would and let people know that you'll be doing chemo and would be grateful if you could call them if needed.  Do you belong to a church?  That would be another place I think people will step forward and want to help.   You can also let us know where you live, if you'd like to, and perhaps there are others on BCO who are finished with treatment and can help you some.  There's also an on-line calendar website where you can coordinate needs & offers.  I didn't use it and can't think of the name of it, but hopefully some else can come up with it for you.

Here's another great resource:  http://www.cleaningforareason.org/    If they have a participating cleaning service where you live, they will clean your house free of charge while you're undergoing treatment.

As far as organization, I think you'll want to be sure to have more food than usual in your pantry & freezer, just so that you're not faced with the nothing to eat scenario on days when you don't have the energy to make a trip to the store and/or cook.  If you're like most of us, your taste buds will be wacky during chemo, so having a few easy to fix options on-hand is good.

I'm so sorry that you don't have close friends or family nearby, but with the pre-planning you're doing and a few people to fall back on if you have to, you should be fine.   (((Hugs)))  Deanna 

Pessa

I had 4 cycles of AC.  I have 2 teenage boys, never married, no family in my state.  AC was not bad.  I was able to continue to work full time during the entire chemo.  Only missed some work for the chemo app'ts. Friends and synagogue members brought dinner every evening for us and friends drove the kids to and from school  Couldn't have made it without that help.  If you are a member of a church or synagogue, perhaps there are people there who could help with meals, or shoppping or transportation.  Biggest problem for me was mouth sores and fatigue on the day of the infusions and the next day.  Much luck to you.

 

Latte

i'm a single parent of a 2.5 yr old, with no family close by. I did dose dense AC (every 2 weeks) then 12 weeks of Taxol. I managed fine during the Taxol, but was very sick during the AC, especially days 3-7. on days 3-7 i had to pay a babysitter to come early in the morning and get my daughter ready for daycare and then take her there. I also had a babysitter pick her up every day and bring her home and deal with dinner, bath, and bed. I managed to get up myself at night when she woke up, but it was really difficult. I hope that with a 7-yr old it will be a bit easier for you.

in terms of organization - you may not feel well enough to drive or walk your child to school, so see if a neighbor with a child at the same school can help. see if someone can help with shopping, and meals. if not, then fill up your freezer beforehand with meals, and use the internet for shopping. make sure that you have backup people that you can call if you get stuck and need help (for you or your daughter).

Do you have someone to take you for treatments? I wasn't able to drive home myself (although i usually felt ok to drive there). 

I hope it goes well for you!

Edited to add: as you can see from the responses on this thread, and as I know from the women on my chemo thread -everyone is different and it is very hard to know ahead of time (or even from week to week) how you will be affected. Because of this, as a single parent I think the most important thing you can do is make sure you have backup people that you can use at any time in case you need them. Hopefully, you won't need them, but you don't want to be on your way to the ER with a bad reaction/SE and be desperately trying to find someone to look after your child for you while you are gone.

IzzyO

Thank you all so much for responding. I do have some resources available but I needed to get a feel for when the really bad days would be so that my friend could try to change her schedule around to help me get my kid off to school etc. on those days. All of this information really helps with that.  I will definately be checking into some of the suggestions!! Thank you all ladies. You have been wonderful!!

polamom

I think it is good you are getting your chemo early in the week, that should help.  That's what I choose to do.  I get mine on Monday so while the kids are at school all week I can rest and then I'm better by the weekend.   My doctors worked hard to give me plenty to curb any nausea (emend & zofran worked well for me).  I didn't find the side effects to be particularly bad.  I was lucky, I guess. 

I just finished my 4th A/C this week and it has kinda made me more tired than the previous ones had.  I wanted to go to sleep in the car rider pick up line yesterday. lol    The kids do go to their father's every other weekend, so that gave me some extra rest time.   But it wasn't hard or un-doable.  Even though I did the dose dense (every 2 weeks) thing I felt much better the 2nd week every time and choose that time to cook ahead for chemo the next week.   I froze soups and creamy casseroles, because that's what has appealed to me during my chemo week (mainly because of acid indigestion). Then I was back to normal foods the next week, eating pizza with the girls, even.    My girls are 5 & 8 and we all survived A/C just fine.   Good luck!!