Returning to work soon...help!

Hope60

Hi ladies, I'm not really sure if this is the appropriate forum for this, but here goes...

I feel a little ashamed of myself posting this when so many on these boards are desperately in need of jobs and health insurance. I truly feel deeply for them and know that my story may sound very petty by comparison.  But here it is anyway.

I have a low salary yet high stress job at a big company.  I've been there a few years.....hated it from day 1 but hung onto it due to the bad economy. My department has always been understaffed, and 60+ hour work weeks are the norm.

At this time last year, I was handling double my normal work load....putting in maybe 80 hours a week and taking work home on weekends.  Never got to take a break for lunch....was lucky if I got to the ladies room.  Tried talking to my boss, got nothing but attitude. This went on for about 4 months, until I was so physically & mentally burned out that I ended up  in bed for a week (including Christmas). I literally couldn't function.  It occurred to me during that time that this job was making me sick, and I needed to get out.  But jobs were hard to come by.

Then in June of this year, I was diagnosed with BC. While I can't prove it, I really believe that my job stress played a role in getting BC.  In any case it couldnt have helped.

I went on short term disability when I started chemo (dose dense) in September. I should be finishing at the end of this month and then its on to radiation.

My boss was very understanding at first, but I knew it wouldnt last forever.  Last week she called me, supposedly to see how I was doing.  Then she mentioned that she knew people who had radiation, and they all came to work....hint, hint.  Clearly she is expecting me back asap.

I was feeling nauseous this morning, and then I realized it wasn't from the chemo....it was the thought of going back to this job! I know that when I do return, I'll be thrown right back in the pressure cooker & expected to perform.  I don't think I can do it.  For one thing, my priorites have changed from my BC experience....I'm not capable of seeing the usual work stuff as "life and death."  But my real terror is that the stress of this job will help cause a re-occurance.  I don't know what to do. If I quit, I could probably get by for a while on my savings, but I absolutely can't give up my health insurance, which is good. I am single so I have to provide my own insurance.

I apologize for the long rant. But if anyone out there can relate to this and/or offer advice, it would be great to hear from you.

 Thanks!

Bren-2007

Hope .. I can't relate to your situation with your job after your diagnosis .. but I used to work for a large corporation and the stress of that job caused me so many physical problems.  I KNEW it was the stress that was causing my illnesses. 

It's so scary when you have to suit up everyday to hang onto your medical benefits.  I feel for you.  Hopefully, someone will be along soon who can help with some advice on your current situation.

Sending you a big hug,

Bren

iodine

I have been there, but not with bc.  I got an ulcer with one job and had sweats every Sunday before going to work on Monday.  The last time, I cried all the way home every day.  I finally had to quit.  It just wasn't worth it.

I have no solution for you except a gradual return to work.  If you can stay off during rads, I would do everything I could to do so.  Rads are NOT a walk in the park and the exposure to rads can become debilitating.  People do well in the beginning but as the radiation "poisioning" accumulates, so do the side effects.  Yes, some people work thru rads, they do thru chemo, too.  It all has to do with the treatment plan, drug choices, job demands, etc.  If your doc will only release you to 2-3 days a week with a limit on daily hours, the job cannot change the docs recommendations, except to tell you not to return to work untill you are ready to become full time (meaning 2 jobs). 

Avoid HR, they can ge great at some companies, but that has not been my experience.  They work for the same employer.  Discuss your needs with your doc and rads doc and see what they say.  If necessary, provide time cards to the docs to demonstrate hours worked, and write up weekend and night practices. 

I hope some of the great HR people on here will add much better information than I can.

lauri

Hope -- did the same thing, returned to work at 62 after 11 months on disability, largely for the insurance.  Knew that COBRA, even if expensive, would only cover me for 18 months if I quit, so I made up an Excel spreadsheet that calculated the estimated number of work days remaining until I turned 63-1/2 (so that with COBRA I'd have insurance coverage until I was Medicare-eligible at 65) -- and I looked at that number EVERY MORNING and told myself I could make it that many more days even with a boss-from-hell.

Before I went back, however, I checked with my doctor and then told my bosses that I'd have some limitations -- that I might need to take naps (brought in my own blanket) and because of balance problems from chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy I couldn't carry anyrhing while walking.  (I made sure to take my cane in with me the first few months -- also useful for getting a seat on the subway)

Ir's important to put out your possible limitations in advance, or at least as soon as you can tell that you can't do something, because under ADA your employer is required to make reaasonable accomodation -- but if you don't tell them until AFTER you get negative feedback about not completing assignments, it's much harder to use ADA protection.

There's a great button I wore every day attached to my employee badge that said "I didn't survive CANCER just to die of STRESS"  (choosehope.com)  Some days I would use it like worry beads to remind myself of my priorities. (And I think it annoyed my boss, which was a plus.)

As Dotti said, the effects of rads can be cumulative.  By the end of the 6 weeks, I would come home from my treatment, sit down in front of the TV, and fall asleep for two or three hours.  My  doctor had NO problem certifying me for disability for two months after completing rads.  Yes, SOME people work through rads or chemo ... but that doesn't mean that EVERYBODY can, or should.

 Good luck to you. 

Fearless_One

Hope, is it too late for you to file intermittent FMLA (if your company has more than 50 people)?   Then if you have days you don't feel up to it, you can not go in and they can't fire you.   Of course, you don't get paid for FMLA (unless you have other kinds of leave saved up), but it can help you until you get better.

I also agree with you 100% that stress (whether job related or not) can set the stage for BC to occur.  

Hope60

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I haven't responded sooner...it's been a chemo week.

Thank you all so much for your understanding and great suggestions. You've given me so much to think about.

I don't post on these boards very often, but when I do, I am always amazed by the wonderful women out there (like you) who understand & take time to write back.

You are great....thanks again!