Aunt Seeing Dead People

kerry10

Hello. My aunt (age 56) has been diagnosed with 3 different separate late stage cancers- colon, brain, and breast. She has had the cyber knife and several rounds of chemo. For the past month or so she has been seeing her dead mother and dead husband. She talks to them and has even followed them around the house. Could this be a side effect of the chemo? She is taking other medications (bp, depression, anxiety I believe) and I don't know if they might have something to do with it.

Thanks for any answers or guidance.

faithandfifty

kerry, I just happened upon your inquiry on behalf of your aunt & then noticed that no one had responded. I don't know anything about your question, (I've never had chemo) but wanted you to know that I read your post and am sending you encouragement, as you seek answers.

It sounds like your aunt has been through much and has lost her husband and mother -- enough for anyone to grapple with, let alone the 3 cancers & the various treatments.

Is there someone in your family able to "advocate" for your aunt? Speak to her doctors about this development and seek their professional input?

Sending you strength as you seek answers.

xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

1Athena1

Kerry - I am sorry to hear about your aunt and don't have answers either. However, psychiatric drugs do have the potential to cause hallucinations in a few people, so you would want to consult her prescriber about that. Never heard of the chemo causing psychotic symptoms but I don't know much about chemo. It could be the combination.

Did anything happen about a month ago? That is one place to start.

I mentioned hallucinations- as in things you see. Those will usually go away easily if the culprit med is withdrawn. But is she believingwhat she sees? Because delusions are more serious. Either way, her entire med cocktail needs to be gone through and SEs from any part of that need to be ruled out before considering other possibilities, such as brain damage owing to one of the cancers that could cause symptoms of psychosis. If that is the problem, there is anti-psychotic medication - that can also serve as anti-anxiety medication for some.

Best of luck. I am glad that FF bumped your thread.

hymil

You didn't say if she lives alone or not, is it the same house her husband used to live in, so that seeing there him would not be unusual, this might be providing the reassurances she needs in a crisis, if it doesn't seem to bother her that she is seeing these people?

Clearly she has had huge losses recently as well as the life-threatening issues with her own health, she may feel closer to the dead than to the living.... Is she religious at all, do you think a minister or the hospital chaplain could help with her undoubted worries about herself dying?

I would think the more she can have real living people around her who are definitely there, it might support her, i have heard that an over-stressed but under-stimulated brain can generate imaginary company if deprived too much. Is there a day-care centre or other source of social company she could go to? Medically removing hallucinations will not fill the void in her life, and could that leave her worse off?

Medigal

So what is wrong with that?  Some people are channels to be able to be contacted by the deceased and it is NOT a psychotic experience, it is a spiritual gift.  No one ever dies in my life because they are always visiting me when I am in a dreamlike state.  I have had this gift since a child and first was very frightened of it until my mom who was a "very" spiritual woman explained what was happening to me.  The deceased have given me information that has not only been able to protect myself and my loved ones but friends also.  I have "one" thing I have always adhered to.  Any of my deceased loved ones or friends who want to talk to me "must" do it when I am in a dreamlike state.  I have seen them when I was awake but refuse to speak to them unless they follow my one rule.

My family does not think I am psychotic or in any way mentally unstable because of this.  I have been checked by 3 pschiatrists and no one can mind any thing mentally wrong with me.   They are astounded by what I relate to them and realize my experiences have been proven to be right when I share info I am given to help someone.  Maybe Kerry's Aunt has just discovered her "gift" and as long as she is not endangering her life or others when the Spirits appear to her, why does it have to be a hallucination.  If she is not doing things to try to contact the Spirits and they willingly appear to her, IMO, she has a gift she should be grateful for and not made to be thought of as "psychotic".   But there are so many who do not believe in the Spiritual World, I can understand why they think it is not normal for living humans to be able to contact the dead.  However, if you do any research on this subject, you will find there are more people like myself who have this "gift".  I think it is very funny that some prefere to think that dear lady is delusional or psychotic just because she has such a special "gift".  If she is not doing anything to try to contact the decease (which I am completely against!) and they voluntarily appear to her then IMO she has a special gift and should appreciate it and not be ridiculed for it.

I won't go into the details of my life on here but my family and friends became believers when I related things to them I could never have known about their lives but it was shared with me by a deceased Spirit to help them.  Being a channel for Spirits is a "gift" to be used and not abused.  I am so sorry the dear lady is being made to feel there is something wrong with her mine.  Very interesting!

sheila888

kerry...How was she acting before this started.?

Was she completely fine or there were signs?

Are you in touch with any of her Doctors

It must be difficult for her and for you.

I'm sending you a big (((((HUG))))))

Sheila

kerry10

hello and thank you all for responding quickly and for the kind words.

 my aunt lives with her daughter and her daughter's family and her daughter (my cousin) has called the cancer doctor about the hallucinations and they're going to see him next week. my cousin is her advocate. about a month ago my aunt had a very happy dream about her dead parents. since that time the hallucinations started. she does believe what she sees. she is living in the same home that she shared with her husband. no, she's not religious. my mom (her sister) visits her regularly and takes her out whenever my aunt feels up to it. they also talk on the phone a lot. my aunt told my mom that she's worried about dying (1st time she's admitted this to anyone). my mom talked to some of her friends who had relatives that also said they saw dead people before they died. 

mrsnjband

My aunt had tumors in her brain that were metastic.  They didn't investigater where is the cancer was because she was terminal.  The tumors effected her reality, so in my humble opinion, it is probably from the brain tumors. 

Sending love & prayers. NJ

JanetinVirginia

Kerry, when I read your post I immediately thought of something I saw on CNN recently. I googled it and posted link below. David Kessler is an end-of-life expert and was colleague of Elizabeth Kubler Ross in the hospice initiative, written a number of books, etc.  His new book is exactly on this subject.

http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/21/do-people-see-dead-loved-ones-when-they-die/?iref=allsearch

lovemyfamilysomuch

Good luck honey.  Double check the meds--sometimes ambien can cause hallucinations--take care and let us know how she does.

Sassa

Kerry,

Before my father died, he told us that his mother and father were present (he could see and talk with them) and that he would be going home with them soon.  He was completely rational and did not seem to be hallucinating.

 I feel there are things that we can not explain or understand (including the possibility of our spirits living on after death).  I found comfort in  the fact that my father was leaving with his mother and father. How wonderful for your aunt that she has loved ones "present" that may help her transition and give her peace of mind.

 Best wishes.

scuttlers

Sassa - Thank you for bringing up this possibility.

Kerry - Is this really causing issues and problems?  Or is it giving her peace and some amount of joy at this stage in her life?  Is it really something that needs to be fixed?

Interesting article:  http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/18/o.end.of.life/index.html?iref=allsearch 

I personally have had 4 visits in the past 45 years from loved ones who have moved on. Grandmother, Mother, Grandmother, and believe it or not - a very beloved cat.  With the grandmothers - I had a short visit before anyone knew they had passed.  I was 14 with the first, and went out to the kitchen and told mom that grandma had come in my bedroom and told me to go out and tell mom that everything was ok.  Please don't anyone jump on me about this.  I was not hallucinating, taking any drugs, drunk, or other physical explanations.  It just happened.

Medigal

scuttlers:  Thank you for sharing your experience.  In this day and age, man is finally coming to the true realization of the meaning of life and death.  The living exist in one dimension and the deceased exist in another.  We are truly blessed when they decide to communicate with us and in some way let us know that they still exist but not in our dimension.  Sometimes they appear in dreams and other times we seem to see them as if they are with us in our same dimension.  The only difference between us and them is that they are in a spirit form and we are still flesh and blood.  What a joy it is to know that when we pass on we can still be in contact with those we love and they with us as long as they are "open" and accept our contacts.   They have a need to let us know they are "ok" thereby letting us know not to  be in  fear of  the other side. 

IMO, I feel Kerry should let his Aunt be at peace with her visitations unless she is doing harm to herself or others.  From my experience, the spirits of our loved ones who take the time to visit us in our dimension do not come to harm us but to teach us, love us, and prepare us for the other side whenever that time may come.  Remember, our "time" is not their reality so when we see them it does not mean we or someone we love will be joining them very soon.  In my experience, it is mainly to give us information we need to prepare ourselves or others for what is to be.  These spirits are not hallucinations or psychotic episodes in cases I have experienced or been informed of.  So I do hope Kerry will think carefully before allowing some doctor who doesn't believe in the spirit world to make the wrong decisions in his aunt's case.  

Thank you again for sharing your experience.  

MarciaM

Hello Kerry

If your aunt is in late stage cancer she is most likely not hallucinating; but being visited. I am a medium in addition to being a cancer patient and have worked with Angels and others on the other side for some time. I have written two books on the subject.

I don't think that she should be judged in either case- because she has all those tumors going on and they can also cause things. But very often as people die; as someone else referenced the amazing work of Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross- they do come into contact with loved ones who will carry them home to heaven. Find comfort in that if it helps you.

with love and prayers for her and you,

Marcia 

kira1234

scuttlers,  I so understand what you are saying. I was with both my Grandmother and my Mom when they died. In both cases they were speaking to their loved ones as if they were there. When my Grandmother died my mom was with me, and helped me to understand what was going on, so when my Mom died I knew what was happening. To me it is comforting to know my family will be there to welcome me when I die.

FireKracker

People think im crazy when I tell them I get answers from my dreams.Actually people who have passed over.They always are wonderful advice.

Last month my GS had a near fatal motorcycle accident on my birthday.My aunt who shared my same birthday(ALL SOULS DAY) came to me in my dreams.Of course she was the first person that I did pray to (among millions of others) 2 days later she came to me putting her arm on my shoulder telling me EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK....And yes my GS is alive.

I AM A BELIEVER....ALWAYS WAS.

Soccermom4force

My Mom spoke of her parents as if they were still alive while in the final months of end stage BC. Because she was so happy when speaking about them/of them I went along with it. There was no harm that could come of it and it truly made her calmer and happier,

Peace,Marcia

1Athena1

Kerry10:

With this interesting diversity of responses, I hope you got some of your queries resolved in one form, sense, medium or another. I would be interested to see what your take on this is, since you know your aunt. Either way, I hope she is comfortable. That's what matters. I think we all agree on that.

Mazy1959

My Grandmother saw dead people..and worse yet..little people who would come thru the drop ceiling tiles. She lived alone and when we went in her home we found axes, knives and hammers all over her house. She had been trying to kill the little people. As for the dead people..she just thought they missed her and came by to see her. Docs said she had so many TIAs that there wasnt much they could do. They put her on some psycho med and it made her super worse. They kept trying different meds til they found what worked best for her. If your aunt has brain cancer tho, it could be something going on in there from that. Just wanted to share my story with you cause I know I felt so alone when my Grandma was doing this and I knew no one who had gone thru it. I pray the best for you both. Hugs, Mazy..edited for spelling errors LOL

bookart

My mother had mets to the brain, and towards the end she had quite a few "delusions" about things that were going on.  Between the drugs and whatever was happening inside her actual brain, it got intersting.  But as long as your aunt is finding comfort from her visitations, I think it is pretty harmless.  Of course, if she is distressed or it is causing problems, that is a different story.

riley702

My mother, who isn't ill, saw my father several months after he died. It was a very positive thing, but never happened again (6 yrs+ now). As long as your aunt isn't upset or afraid, I wouldn't worry about it.

hymil

So far, the little people seen by Mazy's gran are the only negative element here. I had an elderly relative who saw little brown furry animals in the room, (rationally, they could not have been there, it was in a modern nursing home and the second floor up) and we had to convince her it was Okay to step on them (or through them, as they weren't really there) because otherwise she could fall and break her hip. The risk to her health was real, even though the animals weren't: a good case of False information affecting reality.She said they were a comfort, and her father had used to see them too. I think it was caused by medications but they made her happy in a sad time, so why argue, once the risk was removed. Very different if they are causing fear or distress.

Suzybelle

My grandmother saw and talked with my grandfather who had been dead for 20+ years - it seemed to give her a lot of comfort.  This was the last three weeks of her life...her oxygen levels were really low. 

Kerry, I am sending prayers your way  for you and your aunt.

Medigal

Marcia:  I would love to be able to read your two books on this subject to see how your information coninsides with my own.  If you do not want to post the titles here, would you please PM me so I will know how to find them?.  I think it is great you took the time to put your experiences in writing.  Thanks!

Dee2010

Before my mother died of colon cancer, she told me her mother had visited her and gave her great comfort. She was very rational, of sound mind, etc. Mom found it odd because her brother and father had died more recently, her mother had died over 60 years ago. I think if your aunt finds comfort in these visitations and is causing neither herself or anyone else harm that you just accept it. I don't believe science knows everything, and have experienced and heard of too many odd things (from people I trust) to just brush something like this off.

maltomlin

Hi

I just wanted to tell you that my mother, who is 85 years old, is in great health but does see all kind of folks from her past. She sees her relatives who have died but she also sees peopl who were in her class at primary school and that's more than 75 years ago.

I think it's normal.

Mal

Medigal

Ok,  since we are on this subject and no one has deleted us yet, I will share an experience that even was "new" for me.  I always made a pact with the Spirits that if they wanted to channel to me, it "had" to be in my dream state so I would not be afraid of them.  All these years, they have kept the pact.  However, a few months ago, my DP and I took a trip out of town to the mountains and one night in our motel room I was wide awake in my bed and I looked up.  Standing  by the door of the room was this woman all in a long black dress with dark hair.  I knew she was a spirit and that I was wide awake and could see DP in his bed asleep.  Now I communicate with Spirits telepathically so I sent her a message to get out of "my" room.  I told her she was only to visit with me when I was asleep.  She rudely sent me a message "No!  You get out!  This has been my room longer than it has been yours!"  I got afraid and told her to leave and she did.

I then said some prayers and went to sleep.  The next morning I told my DP about my experience and we both thought she might have been the spirit of someone who died in that room at some time.  Many times they get confused if they die unexpectedly and linger in the place of their death.   It was a great experience for me because I realized that night that I did not have to fear seeing or speaking to the deceased outside of my sleep state.  And I assure you, I was not hallucinating or on any heavy meds.  So I think more people see the deceased than tell about it because of others thinking they are nutty.  Well, I know I am a bit nutty, too but that's ok by me.

Sassa

Well, I'm not crazy and am extremely rational, concrete fact kind of person (my picture should be in the dictionary after the words Virgo and analytical, and, it surprised no one when I chose a field of science for my career.

That being said, I know there was a friendly spirit in the house we moved into when I was pregnant with my daughter.  I thought I was imagining things when I thought I saw her until my husband sheepishly revealed he thought I was the spirit when I startled him one night (I was dressed in a white nightgown and my long hair was moving in the wind from a fan when he turned around, saw me and screamed).

What was more interesting was more interesting when my daughter started telling us about conversations she had at night in her room "with the lady who used to live in the house." 

We, of course, had never told her of our experiences and quickly changed the subject when she talked of her conversations.  The lady said good bye to her when she turned eight "Because I'm a big girl now and she doesn't need to watch out for me."

 We didn't tell her of our experiences until she turned 18.  It totally freaked her out at first.

As for the lady, we think she may still be an unseen presence in the house(my daughter still lives there).  There are times you hear footsteps in the bedroom area hallway or sounds of someone preparing food in the kitchen.  My daughter's cat (and some visiting dogs) will sit and stare into the kitchen or down the hall when the sounds are heard. 

Medigal

Sassa:  Your info about how the animals reacted interested me.  Animals seem to be able to "sense" spirits a lot.  I used to have a poodle I had to get rid of (gave away) because whenever I went into deep meditation she would ruin things for me by turning in circles and making weird sounds until I would stop.  Once the dog was gone, I had peace again during that time.  Animals are very spiritual, IMO.

beergirl

My grandmother talked to her mother, who had died 30 years before. right before she died. Now my aunt (other side of my family) , who has some kind of dementia or alzheimer's, wanders about her house looking for her mother.

Chelee

Kerry,

My Mother had advance lung cancer which spread to her brain.  She had chemo and WBR.  It seems after the WBR it was all down hill.  I had my mothers bed out in the front room and she would lay there and yell out for my father and her mother.  Both ahd passed away 40 some yrs ago. (Her DH name was Bill)  She would yell, "BILL, MOM...HELP ME...pls Mom...help me".  Then "Bill, HELP ME".  She screamed this over and over again until she'd lose her voice.  I had no clue why she was doing it.  I put a call into her onc's office thinking it was the morphine...but never got a real answer from them. I believe they knew she didn't have long.  I think she did this for a good month before she passed away.

After her passing I found out from Hospice this can be very normal for someone thats dying.  They see things and will many times call out for ppl. (Wish her onc would of TOLD ME THAT!)  He wasted precious time I could of had with my mother.  I just found this paragraph below that I had saved from an end of life article I read back then. 

>>>When awake, your loved one may also begin to settle unfinished business or talk about seeing or feeling the presence of loved ones who have died. Your loved one may even say that he or she feels death is near<<<.

I asked my Mother why she kept calling out to my Dad and her Mom?  She looked at me and said, "Am I?" Then said, "Why am I doing that?"  (It was so sad...I cry just thinking it)   So I am no expert in this...but it might be a good idea to call hospice.  They are full of information and could probably tell you more about this then her onc.  (I sure wished I had contacted hospice.)  After I talked to them it explained SO MANY things to me in hinsight.  My heart goes out to you....I know this has to be a very difficult time for you.  Hugs!

 Chelee