Exit, pursued by a bear

memory

A little background: That quote is one of the most famous stage directions in theatre. In Shakespeare's "The Winter's Tale," the villain is in the woods, and yep, gets pursued by a bear. (I have no idea how they handled it in Shakespeare's time. They did bear-baiting back then, so maybe they had a real bear!)

 Anyway, that is how I feel sometimes, now that my cancer treatment has wound down (Oncologist says I'm doing "so well" she only needs to see me eevery six months, instead of three) that I've had my last appoint with Plastic Surgeon (I've gotten so fond of that man and his office that I'm even going to give them some of my homemade Christmas candy this year) and my only worry is Tamoxifen (hell of a worry) I feel like I've "exited," pursued by a bear. The bear being chance of recurrence, of course.

The reason I'm posting this is, today is the anniversary of my surgery (double mastectomy) the beginning of this process. It's been a typical busy day, lots of work; I've done nothing special. I feel about the way I did before I learned I had cancer. (Although I have a much bigger chest: I was almost a AA, ladies; now that I'm a full B, there's some things to be getting used to.) I realize I'm luckier than many ladies. But still, there's always that thought of recurrence, maybe, somewhere down the line; that bear, in the distance.

I don't obsess on it, I don't even worry about it, but I know that occasionally I'll be looking over my shoulder: is he catching up, can I even see him anymore? Or is he gaining on me, and I just don't know it; impossible to know it. It's not a fair fight, I won't even know he's there until he's breathing down my neck; not fair. And I won't even know I've outrun him until I'm breathing my last, of something else; so not fair.

 But we all know none of this is fair. All the ladies on this board who are wrestling with the bear, I only hope I have the stuff that you have if my time ever comes. As for the rest of us, here's hoping we all keep giving that bear a run for his money.

 Salud,

Mary

badger

Hi Mary, thanks for another way to express stupidbreastcanceranxiety!

I have anniversaries of my own coming up... happy anniversary seems an odd sentiment considering... so how about congrats sister on another year out!  {{hugs}}

cbm

Mary, I love your post and I will use that stage direction.  Perfect.

Cathy 

EnglishMajor

Hey, there must be another English Major out there (more acted upon than acting)...

 

 You do look, my son, in a moved sort,

As if you were dismay'd: be cheerful, sir.
Our revels now are ended.

May all go well for  you! 

 This has nothing to do with the above, but it gave me a good laugh: thank you Animals of YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-0WVfj76bo

1Athena1

Today, that superb stage direction would be: "Exit, backing off and with bear spray."

changes

Love the quote as a metaphor for living with breast cancer.