Feel like my body is completely betraying me

MrsBee

Had a rather bad day yesterday (Tuesday).  DH and I spent the day with some friends-who-are-like-family.  We made two trips into the city and back and enjoyed being with these folks.  But my doggone body decided to throw a monkey-wrench into the works.

Several years ago (pre-BC), I had extensive testing done to determine the cause of some intestinal distress I was experiencing, and I was ultimately diagnosed with IBS.  I suspect it was mostly just a way of saying, "We can't find a physical cause for your problem, but something seems to be wrong, so we'll call it this."  Through trial and error, I learned to live with it and I could pretty much deal with it.  At least, I thought I could.

However, my body has decided to amp things up a notch.  While we were out and about, enjoying the day, I wound up having to get DH to take me home so that I could change clothes, etc.  Sorry for the TMI, but I'm trying to be as delicate as possible and still get the point across.

I feel so frustrated with my body and a little worried too.  My body apparently "likes to make tumors," as my BS pointed out upon finding not one but three different kinds of BC going on in both of my breasts - this after having had non-Hodgkins lymphoma.  My brother has ulcerative colitis and it got so bad that he had Remicade (which didn't help him and only wrecked his immune system) and ultimately had to have four surgeries to finally get relief and begin to heal.

So, yeah.  I'm a little scared. 

I've decided to phone the gastro-interologist who worked with me years ago when I got the IBS diagnosis (and who is also my brother's doctor) and get an appointment for a consult and see about getting a colonoscopy done too.  I'm tired of feeling bad and I do NOT want another day like yesterday.

I'm almost 5 years out of treatment from BC and still NED, but my "foobs" hurt me all the damn time, I still have hot flashes from the chemo-pause and surgical menopause I had almost 5 years ago.  My libido is shot all to hell.  Oh, yeah.  And the fam-damily still think I'm a piece of excrement because I chose to take care of myself during chemo instead of running all over the place to look after my sick daddy.  Don't get me started on that.

Sigh . . . .

Anybody got any chocolate they could share with me?  Pretty please?  With sugar on it?

Thanks for letting the crazy fat lady rant.

debbie6122

Oh mrs bee i would glady share some of my dark hershersy chocolate with you   Im so sorry you are going thru this, my younger sister had the same problem she also had to take several pairs of pants to work with her, and i have the bladder problem i know how imbarrasing it is not to mention pisses ya off too!! I just wanted to pop in and give you a hug, hope it all works out for you no matter what you decide ((((((((hugs))))))))

DEbbie

MrsBee

Thanks, Debbie.  I might wind up having my DH take me in, as now I'm having a pain that radiates to between my shoulder blades, as well as cramping in my upper abdomen.  Feel like absolute poopy-caca (no pun intended) right now.  Can't get comfortable at all.  And my DH is blissfully snoring away.  Sigh . . .

debbie6122

Mrsbee- I was thinking about you and wondering if you went in to the dr last night? Are you still in pain? Hope you are better will keep you in my thoughts and prayers- Happy thanksgiving!

MrsBee

No.  I'll probably go in next week.  I am feeling quite a bit better and just trying to take it easy.

Thanks for checking on me!

mrsnjband

I can relate to the body betraying you. I have good & bad days and I try to keep trucking on but it is sure dang hard.

{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}

Caroljl

Dear MrsBee, I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting. I don't have IBS or bladder problems but I too feel like my body has failed me too. I friend of mine has IBS and she is a strong person, but the pain really gets to her, I really feel for you MrsBee. Sometimes my neurophy really acts up from the chemo cocktails and now radiation I don;t really know what to do. I always try and ignore the crappy pain, but as you know, it sometimes is very hard, I sure hope we and every other woman that has or had BC or anything else that causes pain, that it will all be gone someday and we will feel piece and serenity

Isabella4

MrsBee, so sorry all this is going on for you.

Just popping in and out of the forums, and what you wrote got to me. I can't commiserate with the problem, I have it in reverse. Too many pain killers for slipped discs bungs me up !! But...SOMETIMES....just sometimes.... it decides to de-bung at the most inconvenient times, so I don't go too far away from my home. OK, OK,  TMI I know !!! but just know I think we all find 'if it isn't one damned thing, its another' !!!! and I think we all know how you are feeling.....and don't get me going about fam damily...they just do not take into consideration what you are going thru'...I always make the effort when meeting up with them....make-up, decent clothes, so I think they think I am just imagining  what has happened to my body....and am perfectly well.

Well, they must do, because not one of the little snakes EVER asks how I am, never has in nearly 8 whole years. 'Karma will happen' I say !!

Isabella.