My mom stopped treatment

marypage

I need some advice. My mom is 78 years old and was diagnosed last october with ibc and bone mets and  "abnormal activity in her abdomen and a few spots in her lungs.  she tried chemo and radiation. the radiation was effective in eleviating her bone pain, but the chemo was really hard on her and it really was not slowing the cancer down ....so she quit about 12 weeks ago.  She is currently having radiation to new bone mets in her hip and has just signed up with hospice.  During chemo she developed nauseau issues which we attibuted to the chemo treatments.  but the nauseau has persisted and slowly gotten more  constant. We are trying to get it under control.  she has tried numerous meds to no avail and the hospice sent out a new one last night.  she has lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks.  has anyone else experienced this? 

thank you in advance for any advice or thoughts.

Mary 

barbe1958

So sorry for the journey you are on right now, but I've been there, and here is my experience. When my Dad had lung cancer, we all pushed him to do everything. Surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. He died at 71; it took him 2 1/2 years and he was in agony or sick the whole time. At the end he said his only regret was doing the treatments as his last years were so horrid.

So, the point is, he didn't LIVE for 2 1/2 extra years. He took 2 1/2 years to DIE.

I can truly understand why your Mom is doing what she is doing. Getting hospice in was the right choice. Perhaps letting your Mom know you understand will give her some relief. Hospice will keep her comfortable and pain free if you let them know what is happening.

God Bless you and your family at this time.

marypage

Thank you so much for your response...and I am so sorry about your loss and your fathers stuggles.

we have talked about her choice and she know we all support her decision...it is just so tough watching her go through this and not knowing what to do.  So far our experience with hospice has been great.  and we are all very thankful for them.

i am just concerned that she is having so many problems keeping food down...did your father experience this? 

barbe1958

Yep, my Dad mostly just drank Ensure when he could. Don't push her to eat as then she has to digest it and then get rid of it. She may be near the end....

hopeful1234

So sorry to hear about your mom.  My mom was 51, she found out she had liver mets in June and treatment wasn't doing anything.  I begged her to continue (I regret it to this day) and by December 1st,she was in Palliative Care....3 weeks later she was in a Hospice where she passed away on Jan 6th.  Yes, it is horrible watching them go through it.  My mom lost about 50 lbs in 6 weeks, by the time she passed, she was about 80 lbs.  The eating is really hard, but at the hospice, they will tell you not to push her to eat.  You should ask the Hospice that she is at if they have a booklet called "The dying Experience"  It was a huge help to my family as it takes you through what most Hospice patients go through.

Good Luck to your family, my thoughts are with you 

clariceak

My father passed away from cancer and I understand how difficult it is to watch the decline and the discomfort.  Not being able to eat may be a sign that she is slipping away.  My father was unable to eat anything for the last 10 days or so of his life.  He had only one chemo treatment 4 months before he died.

Not eating and not being awake much seemed to be more peaceful way to go.  Wishing you comfort duirng this time.

pee

I am finding Hospice to be very helpful and there when needed.  They were desparetly needed 2 weeks ago for bad bone pain and came out immediately to increase my dosage of meds. 

mamanmidwife

pee, that's reallly good to know, thank you

michelshelpformom

please help, my mom refusing treatment and now in hospice at home, she 72 and is nauseas and vomiting on liquid moraphine (smoking through inebulizer) bone mets rib lung, pelvis, backbone broken, she is also on haldol and now having severe panick attacks, is this from no air in her left lung or just the meds. .what can i get her to eat and not be nauseas, ican't see her like this. .she also is on oxy and methadone. thanks for any help. ..love M

Pessa

You need to consult with the hospice doctor for relief from these symptoms.