Mother and Breast Cancer

Loveshermother

My mother has ILC stage 2, 2.5cm tumor, left breast removed. Her/2 +1, ER postive PR neg. Grade 2 Intermediate, no nodes involved. She did A/C 4 treatments. This all started in June 2009 had mast. in july 2009 and started her chemo in aug 2009. No rads.  She had a few scares with feeling lumps by her scar but all turned out to be fine. Now here is my problem. I worry everyday that its going to come back. She has complained for a few months now that she aches so much. She is 76. She had a rash a few weeks ago that climbed up both of her legs to her theighs. She put a medicated ointment on it for a few days and cleared up the worst of it. I think I worry more than she does. I keep it to myself so she dosent get upset. She is going tomorrow for her check up at the onco. I will assume he will schedule her for her chest and bone scan like he always has in the past. She was diagnosed with a arotic aneurysm about 3 months ago in her abdomen at 3mm, so they are just watching it for now. I was told no need to worry about it unless it grows fast. She will have that checked at the same time the other scans are done. My question is what do I need to look for if she isnt feeling good or signs that may need attention. You see she keeps these things from me and I have to be a on guard all the time to see for myself. I see her everyday and she has good days and bad days. To me she is my hero, she went threw all of this and during it all, lost her husband (my stepfather) lost my father a month later and also had to move from her house due to it belonged to his family. All this in a matter of 9 months. I also had my sister come live with me who has mental health disorder, eating disorder and susideal attments during this time. I eventually had to have her go back to where she lived in NE. I couldnt do this all by myself. It was more than I could handle. Any advise would be helpful. I dont want to over react over every little thing and I want to be proactive in her recovery. Thank You again

rreynolds1

If you have insurance, I would find a good theropist for yourself.  That could really help you as well as give you guidance.  Take care.

Roseann

AnacortesGirl

I wish I could tell you differently but your worrying just isn't going to help.  If the cancer comes back then all the worry in the world isn't going to stop it.  Your mom is under surveillance now with her onc -- she is being watched much, much closer by the medical community than lots of other women her age.  It's time to trust her treatment and her monitoring and start living each day on the positive side and not on the negative "what if" side.

My mom was dx'ed a month before me with her second bout - she was 80 at the time.  Stage I and, after we both went in for testing, BRCA 2+.  This means we have a gene mutation that significantly raises our statistics for breast cancer.  It also answered the question of why we had so much breast cancer and prostrate cancer in our family.

Now that mom and I are through treatment we go to our respective doctors (she lives in another town a couple of hours away) and we let them do their work.  Even though the doc appointments are a big conversation piece (just because we have so many between the two of us) we just relate what the doc says and move on. 

The aches and pains could be so many different things.  Is your mom taking meds?  One of those could be the culprit.  Or it could be the natural aging when we lose fluids in the joints.  Arthritis.  Or the pads between the joints (can't remember what they are called at the moment - that's my chemo brain kicking in) getting thinner.

If your mom goes to a cancer center than they should have a social worker there.  They are there to deal with issues such as insurance, transportation, etc. But they are also there to help the family understand what is going on and provide resources to help the family.  Find a support group if you can.  The goal is to get to that place where you let go of the worry and live life.