Need Help and Advice - I'm angry all the time!

ladydi

I'm hoping I can find some help again ladies. It has been awhile since I have visited here. I am 4.5 years out from Stage 2. I had a double mastectomy, reconstruction and ovaries removed at the age of 35. I've moved on with my life... Or have I???

During the recover process I was depressed that all this has even happened. I was mad that I had to loose my breasts. I've gotten beyond that, I accept my new body... I don't think about it daily anymore, but I am angry! I think it is some type of "menopausal" sypmtoms. I wake up angry and crabby and just generally FEEL bitchy. I am taking Aromasin, my "after cancer" drug and have 6 months to go. I think this has really been going on ever since I finished treatment. It became my way of life. I now realize something is going on... but what? I don't even know who to talk to! My onc? My ob/gyn? a Shrink? I don't have a regular doctor. Should I get one? Please help!

Luckysmom

Wow, Dianne your story sounds so similar to mine. I was diagnosed March 6, 2006, so also coming up on five years. What I've realized this year is that I have been in denial since my treatment ... I hated losing my hair because it was such an obvious manifestation of the fact that I had cancer. In the past few months, I've been feeling pissed off about the whole thing ... for me, it's about the realizing that it did happen, and that I am not cured and never will be cured. There is always the chance for a recurrance. I hate October and all the pink crap everywhere I look ... it really annoyed me to watch football and see all the pink stuff the guys were wearing.

I think talking w a shrink could help you; it helped me back in the fall of 2006 when I became severely depressed. Sometimes I wonder if I should join some kind of cancer recovery group. But that's why I'm visiting these boards again; to learn, to engage with fellow survivors, and reach out and offer support. Doing these simple things makes me feel less isolated, less alone and less afraid of the future.

Embrace your feelings but don't wallow in them. Express them and then let them go. Another thing: try yoga. It's wonderful for clearing out the negative thinking ....

julie75

ladydi:  You and I are on the same wavelength.  I, too,  am frustrated, mad and basically unhappy,and have been thinking of talking to a shrink.  Had a BMX on 09/17/10, and am going through menopause at the same time.  I'm not on Aromasin, but still feel like a basketcase at times.  Fun.

In my case, there are other things underlying my anger and frustration, such as family relationships.  I do talk to my hubby and friends about these things, but at this stage, I think I'd like a shrink in my court.  

I can talk to my regular doctor (my GP) about anything and everything. Do you have that type of relationship with your ob/gyn or your onc? If so, maybe they can point you in the direction of a shrink, if you like.  Otherwise, there are many women here who I am sure are going through the same issues.  And, Luckysmom is right; yoga and other forms of exercise really help.  I power-walk and run 5 mph/day, which works for me.  

Last, but not least, I am from Wisconsin (Merrill, which is mid-state and just north of Wausau).  So, we have that in common.

Best,

Julie

redskies

Hi Dianne,

Based on my own experiences...

"Irritability" (aka bitchiness, frustration, etc.) is a sign of depression, so is anger... especially important is that these feelings are bothering you.

In both menopause, and bc hormonal treatment, our hormones are changing from what we are used to, and don't we all know how our hormones affect our moods and bodies! 

A psychiatrist can prescribe meds to help you feel better, and either a psychiatrist or psychologist can help you with cognitive behavioral counselling techniques... eventually, if you decide to use them, meds like anti-depressants and sleep aides can be discontinued, once you feel better.  Anti-anxiety meds like klonopin can be good to keep on hand for use when needed- like when it's time for scans and check-ups, or when treatment changes.

You're coming up on a very symbolic, and I am guessing, in at least some ways, a stressful experience- ending your treatment for breast cancer....a lot has happened, a lot has changed... add menopause, another very symbolic change with real and varied side effects... and dang, it's all a lot to handle!

So, find someone it feels good to talk with, use meds and/or alternatives like individual or group counselling, yoga, develop or resume a hobby you feel passionate about... whatever makes you smile and feel happy, hopeful for the future (and present!) and at peace!

After a year of going through treatment for depression and treatment side effects, I am so glad that I did get professional help... I have actually found an amazing measure of peace and happiness (and I was stage 4 from the start!)  But any cancer diagnosis is a life changing event, as you know.

Lynne