Rosie O'Donnell announcement she is waiting on Biopsy results

stephanie1

Rosie O'Donnell has revealed that she is awaiting results to find out if she has breast cancer after finding a strange lump during a self exam. As a way of expressing her feelings on the issue, she wrote a beautiful poem and posted it one her blog:

i touch my tits a lot
more than the average woman
so i have been told
i tweak my nipples during sex

laying in bed
reading a book
my hand finds the curve
the soft pillow part

i caress myself
my chest
shoulders
my breasts

my heart charka
where at one time
an infants resting head
caused physical pain

the heart part
has been handled
and somehow healed
i can be touched

i had my first lump removed at 30
thumb sized fatty tissue
i went alone
i was living in los angeles

there in the waiting room
2 comediennes
sisters
the bromfields

one positive
the other and me negative
and so it has been
for the 18 years since

38 my mom was diagnosed
39 she died
too late when they opened her up in huntington hospital
it was everywhere

wednesday i had an mri
instead of a mammogram

the doctor at the image facility
told me of many false positives
from breast MRIs
but with a family history ...

i lay down
ear plugs in place
headphones over that
into the tube

wild sensations
hammering humming star trek sounds
rock concert loud
for 30 minutes

2 hours later the doctor who warned of false positives
called to tell there were 2 spots
but not to worry
they looked innocent enough

2 nyc 2 see axelrod
who has moved from beth israel
2 st vincent
2 the NYU cancer center

beautiful facility
truly
a 5 star hotel lobby
employees right out of greys anatomy

i went alone
i don't know y
many asked to come
i build invisible walls even i cannot see

i haven't seen debra in years
we wrote a breast cancer book together
bosom buddies in 1999
now over a decade later

her hair is long
not the punk rock dr she was back then
she looks conservative
from cindy lauper to estee lauder

gone r the multicolored bright tights
annie lennox locks
betsty johnson jewelry
her sons r in college now

and how i must have looked to her
10 yrs later
a different me
and still the same

another MRI a mammogram and sonogram
in between each
back to the waiting area
my favorite part of the whole thing

silent women in washed out robes
blue , green , occasionally striped
all sullen faced - stoic - numb
not really there at all

some r deeply engrossed in hardback novels
others leafing thru people magazine
minimal eye contact
prisoners about to be sentenced

life or death

it begins
rosie odonnell takes over
names ? ages ?
reason for being there ?

the first sentence changes everything
and in moments there r smiles
and stories
women loving women

sisterhood is a powerful thing

a young one 28 - felt her own lump
a grandmother - with 2 gowns to cover all her beauty
runs her fingers thru her new white hair
chemo almost killed me - she says

and i think of suzanne somers
and my mother
who one trusts
what to believe

one by one r names r called
good luck out there i say
keep ur head down
look out for bedbugs

the laughs come easy
as they pass by afterward
some wave with glee
an exit visa - reprieve

my name is called
a biopsy she tells me
on the way back to the MRI tube
probably nothing

the women in scrubs r all beautiful
and so young - which means i am for sure old
older then i thought i would ever be
a teenage looking nurse puts in an iv

she has 2 babies
and works only 2 days a week
as she cant bare being away from them
10 hour shifts r 2 long

hits my vein first try
the doctors arrive
technicians
all women

they explain the whole thing
which i have heard b4
ur seat cushion can be used as a floatation device
i nod

face down
left tit first
the bigger one
my favorite

they numb it
they give me a button to press if i hurt
or freak out
i slide back in

someone is holding my hand
another is rubbing my back
the dr is saying
"only a few minutes - i am sorry it hurts"

it does not hurt me
at all
i feel nothing
but the love of strangers hands

i imagine their lives - nurses
choosing to love - for a living
so close in times of crisis
2 hold 2 help

soon i am sliding out
and they r bandaging me
a bruise begins to bloom
on my boob

sterile strips and ice packs
go home
come back monday morning
for the right one

i am back in the car
it is dark already outside
an elderly woman on the couch in the lobby
looks at me confused

"r u the last one? " she asks

i think so i say
not really understanding
what she meant
am i the last one ?

jackies mom called
bernice - now almost 80
she is worried
at 45 they told her she had one year to live

they were wrong
chances r it is nothing - i tell her
it is what we all tell r selves
willing it true

over 200 thousand women
will be told they have breast cancer this year
40 thousand will die from it
many more will live on

everybody breathe
here we grow
again
peace

TenderIsOurMight

Thank you very much for posting this wonderful narrative by Rosie O'Donnell. I wish her and all in a similar place well.

Tender 

Sue-61

I heard on the Boston news channel last night that Rosie's lumps were benign. I can imagine her relief. How sad that she lost her Mom at such a young age to this freaking disease. Thank goodness the treatment has improved in the past several years. I wonder if Rosie has had BRCA testing.......Sue