focus...

everyminute

I check in now and then but frankly, I am too busy most days.  I do think of you all often though.

I hope some of the newbies read this and realize that it means that life does go on.  I am two years from my last chemo treatment next week and my life is full and busy and fantastic.  I just finished running a marathon and three weeks later a 15k at my fastest time ever.  I have started my own personal training business, work with survivors in three different programs that I created at 3 different facilities, I work full time, have my wonderful family and continue to exercise (almost) daily.  Life is not just good it is GREAT.

My question, maybe to some of the oldbies, is - Will I ever relax?  I feel like I am constantly running and doing and going because I am afraid to miss anything.  I dont want to miss an opportunity to do something so I try to do it all. 

I have always been high energy so some of that is normal for me but on the other hand weeks like this past week where I was home at 9pm every night (14 hour days) and am doing a workshop this whole weekend is a bit much.

I want it all and want it now - guess I am afriad to wait it out and plan too far ahead....

I just applied for the Operations Manager position at the fitness facility where I do one of my survivor programs.  I am sort of qualified (20 years in operations management - not as much in fitness field).  I don't really want to leave my current job - I just want it all which makes it hard to focus on what I want most.

I have always said that I can have anything I want in life if I focus on it - I think so many good things have happened in the past two years because I am focusing on them BUT I may need to narrow my scope!

Thoughts...comments..suggestions...

karen1956

I know for me that I want to be where I was before BC...to be able to all I did....so maybe thats just whats going on....life is good, but maybe write a list down of all the things you are doing, then write the pluses on one side and the minuses on the other side of the page to help you priortize everything,......so have one sheet with your current job, then another with the one you applied for, and for each fitness program you teach and all your races.....and go with your gut feeling of what stays and what is lower priority....also maybe put a limit to number of late/long days....I know I can't keep going, and going and going or eventually I run out of steam and it takes longer to catch up....BUT you are awesome!!!!!  You can have it all, but sometimes its not all at once but in succecssion...a professor told me this in grad school over 25 years ago and I still think of it often!!!!  Hugs, Karen

AsiaYM

Do it where your heart is, what makes you happy the most.  Life is too short even if you live to 100 years.

Texas357

So what if you're having a little bit of trouble focusing right now? You are LIVING not just existing. A lot of people can learn an important lesson from you. Go for it! You'll know when (if) something feels so right that it deserves more of your attention, and what deserves a little less. For now, just enjoy it!

jenn3

Mary - as long as you and your family are happy, keep going, doing and enjoying.  It's when you're not happy that you should rethink something and from what I read here and on facebook - you are happy, full of energy and have everthing going for you.  Way to go and what an inspiration you are to all of us!!!!

PlantLover

Let me tell you your hope that some newbie reads this and realizes that it means that life does go on has been fulfilled.  At least with this one newbie.

I dream of being where you are in two years. Maybe not the running part, lol, never been much of a runner, but I want to help others.  My plan is to try to find some way to help others who are going through what I've been through for the past year.  I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it yet, but I will figure that out.

As for your other question, "Will I ever relax?  I feel like I am constantly running and doing and going because I am afraid to miss anything.  I don't want to miss an opportunity to do something so I try to do it all."  I will simply say - as long as what you are doing is making you happy and you are not stressing yourself out, then don't stop.  Don't miss an opportunity to do something you want to do.

Thank you for your inspiration!   

diana50

mary....you are doing great.  as an "oldie"in more ways then one...lol...i think there will be a time where just being in the moment....and not always "doing' will settle in so it won't feel like you are always moving.  there was a point...for me..where i just took a deep breath...and was just so glad to have the day...without planning ahead...and doing.  but, i am also 58 now...retired...and just into living...cycling...walking the dog...cooking...etc.  we are all so different where we are in our lives....and experiences...but there will be a time where you may not always feel like you want to be on the go.....but then again...what is not to like about always moving forward.  i think it depends a lot on what each of us have going on...at our developmental time in life...not so much about cancer always.  it doesn't always have to be about being a breast cancer survivor. sometimes; it is just about life.

 keep on mary.  your family...kids...and all that you do appreciate more then you know.

hugs

diana

Bugs

Go with your gut, Mary.  You'll know if you're stretching yourself too thin. If you're doing what you are doing because you LOVE IT, then why slow down?  If you feel like there is a deeper reason why you are not slowing down..then take a step back and try to figure that one out.

You are awesome, you know that?

Pure

Exactly...If noone else is complaining about  you being so busy and your happy then you should go with it! I myself am not happy if I am not going a million miles an hour! I get bored:) do what makes you happy..With that said don't do it b-c your not sure if you will be here in 5 years plan your future based on a long happy life!

lkc

Hi mary, When I was dxed  a few years I  was so active my mantra was " if I keep this up the C  cells will never catch back up to me".

 I  was running on  much fear fueled adrenaline.

,I am now 5 1/2 years out  happy and well ,and more balanced .the fear has dissapated with time. So , yes it does get better and it  will hopefully be that way for you too!