wigs and sex and sleeping

dawn31337

I had BLM 10/15 with TEs for reconstruction.  One was nipple sparing and the other skin sparing. For the last 5 months I have been seeing a wonderful man I also dated 30 years ago.  We are not exclusive, but he is the only one I have been sleeping with.  He has seen me after my mastectomy, and he thought I looked beautiful and doesn't care about the scars.  One of them looks pretty darn good actually!!  Well I start chemo in 2 weeks, so in a month my hair will be gone.  It sounds silly, but I don't want him to see my bald head, even though he could see my less than perfect boobs, but that's what I'm thinking.  I mean the boobs will be fixed back to pretty much normal, and my hair will grow back, but it is still scary.

How well do wigs stay on?  Could I leave it on while being active, and is it ok to sleep in them? 

Claire_in_Seattle

Hi Dawn....

I did the "natural" thing and still had to hand Main Squeeze his eyeballs.  So I never encountered the wig issue.  I wore them when outside, but not for these moments.

If you take this route, then both of you can rejoice when your hair starts to grow back.  It may during Taxol as you are getting smaller weekly doses.

I ended up thinking I was "extra naked" during this period and have to say that I cried when I learned that it didn't matter at all.  I think you will learn the same thing.  Good luck with all of this.  No fun, but we all get through. - Claire

lovemyfamilysomuch

Claire -- LOL "hand him  his eyeballs" love it!

Hopefloats41725

To me....loosing my hair was the worse and still is.  It is the most noticeable asset.  I remember I was holding onto mine as long as possible.  Before chemo m hair was falling out anyway fifty stands at a time for months.  Before the second chemo, my hair was swimming in the bath tub.  I lifted one arm and it was all over that one, then the same with the other arm.  I described myself as the look of an allien, no nipples, hair anywhere, looked like an overgrown infant.  Still do in fact.  By the time I was finished with Taxol, four treatments, every two weeks, my hair was appearing within two to three weeks.  I just wish we could take hair vitamins and lots of B's with it.  My doctor told me to only take a multiple vitamin only, nothing else.  Has anyone heard of such anything simular after their chemo and vitamins?  I am on Armeridex for the next five years, glad to say, no joint pain as some have announced.  No side effects, but how can we get our hair to speed up, if we don't do Biotin or B vitamins?  The wig thing....I just use a mesh and bobby pins, sleep in a turbine to keep my head warm.  A girl at work saves her best one for work and wears others at home, wish I thought of that.  This last wig, is my third.  The insurance paid for the first one, then I messed up buying one that was thick on top though thin on bottom.  Then the third one is human hair (though it tangled up horribly, so I thought I got ripped off).  It shows your scalp within the part, love it.  I was afraid to use a curling iron on it but helps elleviate the tangles, that is when I realized that it is human hair, it took the heat.  I wear a long one, hate my long skinny neck. 

dawn31337

Thanks Claire, for addressing my question.  He didn't freak when he saw my titties, so hopefully his reaction will not be bad when he sees my head.  I dated him 30 years ago and we recently reconnected through Facebook.  He has matured into an amazing person, and I really hope once I'm done treatment, we can make this into something more.  He is also dealing with life's unpleasantries, and although he's healthy, his problem is worse than mine.