I cant pull myself out of this black hole

Alyad

I finished treatment over a year ago , at the time I had a big hiking trip to plan for- threw myself into that and then we came home from the trip in July (3 months earlier than planned- tried to hike the Appalachian Trail- made it 900 of 2100 miles), so once we came home I just fell into a deep hole. I was laid off my job last Dec- I was able to collect unemployment when we got home, but now that's running out. I have had depression all my life and now I just feel like I am floundering- I don't have a job and I don't have any concrete plans in the future to look forward to. I did just start seeing a therapist who I feel is going to be very helpful. 

FireKracker

sending huggggggggggggggs to all the sistas who are in the black hole.

it suks.we all go there from time to time.just get out of it the best way you can.

we are here for you...always.God bless.We are goona beat this giant monster.ONE SISTA AT A TIME...FIGHT LIKE A WOMEN..

K

LLL-6500

Just checking in with all of you as we are all going through such emotional and trying times.   I hope you are all taking time for yourself and putting your needs first ( hard to do sometimes, I know) as I believe it really helps us move forward.   I am feeling anxious for an appt. at Mayo, next week then surgery Jan 4.  Just want things to be done and on to recovery, and the next "phase" of this journey.  Hope everyone is doing ok.  May you all have a safe and blessed holiday season!

LG300

Big hugs to everyone on this thread.  I've also felt in a black hole lately.  I handled things really well while I was going through multiple surgeries and assorted complications.  Now that I'm done with things for now and have time to emotionally process everything, I'm a mess.  The stress of having to find a job just makes matters worse (much worse - I can't deal with any more stress).  I'm angry, frustrated, and sad.  Just went to a psychiatrist today and am seeing him again on Thursday.  I liked him and I'm pretty sure he's going to prescribe something for me to at least take short-term (maybe longer) to deal with my depression and anxiety.

IllinoisNancy

I find myself withdrawing into a dark hole.  I seem to hate everything and everyone that I used to enjoy.  I don't even know who I see in the mirror.  This is my second trip through breast cancer and I can tell you without a doubt the first time was so much easier.  Lumpectomy, rads and Tamoxifen is a "walk in the park" compared to AC chemo and Neulasta.  It's like comparing eating ice cream to getting a tooth drilled without Novocaine.  I don't know how the Stage IV gals can endure constant chemo.  I already feel that I've lost all quality of life.  My brakes are already on and I'm considering stopping the Neulasta shots.  Thanks for letting me vent.

Sick and Tired,

Nancy

ICanDoThis

Nancy-

I am so sorry that you have to go through this again. Cancer SUCKS.

Does your cancer center have a social worker who specializes in oncology patients - you are really entitled to some really good support! Even if they aren't very helpful, they may be able to point you into the path of a really good oncology therapists - I really needed a good one - I was tipping into post traumatic stress when I started, and using visualization and other good techniques, I was able to get back to "new norma" in a few months.