Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

sweetbean

Oh, I've been posting.  Just sent her my complete details - waiting to hear back before I begin negotiating with my PS.

julianna51

Great sweetbean!   I hope that you get the exact size you want!

lovemyfamilysomuch

Still getting over Franklin. It sucks big time. Trying to stay strong.  I tell myself stuff like "at least its not breast cancer again"  Some of the angry feelings are emerging and I will allow myself to feel.

Dragonfly1976

Sorry to hear that lovemyfamily I know you were really getting attached to him... No way to make it work?

I never heard from the guy I went out with last night Guess that means he wasn't interested.

sweetbean

DF, it's only been one day.  I wouldn't be worried yet.  

hrf

DF, give it a couple of days ... you may still hear back

lovemyfamily ... sorry it didn't work out 

Dragonfly1976

We talk and text every day, so we met last night and not a peep out of him?

twoputter

DF...it's still early.  Love your new picture!

negirly

Dragon - you mean he wa quiet and shy?

sweetbean

Guys are weird.  He may be processing the real you vs. the one he had in his head. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you,though.  Just that he is thinking it through. Have you ever read the Mars and Venus books?  There's a good one on dating.  

sweetbean

I went on a date with a guy before I came to Florida that went well.  I could tell that he liked me - when he said, "Let's do this again," I could tell he meant it.  Now, he knew I was going to Florida, so that might account for some of the radio silence, but it took him NINE days to contact me.  He finally texted me when I got to Florida - we exchanged a few texts and emails.  He said to contact him when I get home, which I will do, but I hope he asks me out quickly, because my social calendar is already filling up.  

I'm playing it cool and I know he is wondering about me.  Pretty  much works every time.  No worries, DF!  

Dragonfly1976

Well we'll see....I find it odd he had time to text and chat daily before we met? Thank you

twoputter

I had my first mammo since lumpectomy, chemo and rads today.  OWEEE did it hurt!

sweetbean

Oh, DF, they always do.  You are never more interesting to them than when they haven't met you yet.  Men are like cats - so curious.  Which is why ignoring them works so well.  I'm not advocating playing games, just being aware of the nature of guys, which is to be like a rubber band.  They come really close and they pull away. Then they snap back, closer than before.  

Anyway, you're fabulous, so no worries!  Keep on keepin' on! 

Dragonfly1976

I'll keep looking and moving on and I contacted him yesterday only to say it was great to meet him and thank you! So we'll see what's next...



Twoputter, sorry to hear that hurt so bad!! I've never had one but can't imagine

hrf

DF - love your new pic. 

I know we all have different opinions on communication before meeting. Some like lots of talk and text before hand. Others, like me, prefer to meet asap without all the stuff beforehand. We each have a different comfort level. But I stand by my opinion that it is best to meet asap and determine if there is a true connection that we can build on. The other stuff really is only preparation for the first date which is the true test. I always preferred not to get my hopes up based on talk, text, email .... it really didn't mean anything. But, anyway, that is just my opinion and I appreciate that others do not agree.  

Dragonfly1976

I agree to a point as well as disagree to a point. For me as a single Mom I don't have the luxury that others do as far as meeting guys/dates as often and whenever I want. Unfortunately this means I either don't talk to guys or email or date then? How does that work?

twoputter

It is hard when you're a single mom with younger children.  My kids are all grown now, but when they were young I was pretty careful not to be gone too much.  It was a difficult balancing act because I still needed some time for me but didn't want to neglect them.  (3 boys) It sounds like you're handling it well for you and that's all that matters.  Trust your judgment.

I met a guy last night and we're going to try to go out again this weekend.  And I'm meeting another guy at 3:30 and then one at 6:00.  Feast or famine.  If these two don't work out, I like the first guy and would like to get to know him.  Lately it seems like the guys don't care for me and that's what I'm expecting today.  Hate to sound so negative.  Since I've been taking the arimidez, my skin is dry (and wrinkled looking) where it never has been before, plus the wig thing.  Ready to quit. 

Dragonfly1976

You are so right, so for me I don't see another option. Either I don't even bother looking on the dating sites and trying to meet guys or I keep doing it this way. Sometimes I am able to meet sooner rather than later but I never know. I do try to limit only being gone one night a week for a date, and now her Dad keeps bailing on his weekends so my "me" time is even less.... I understand that gets my feelings out of whack more maybe because I get my hopes up but..... Open to suggestions here?

sweetbean

Chica,

you are doing great - you're doing everything right.  You are getting out there and going on dates and you aren't getting too hung up on any one guy.  You will definitely meet someone, absolutely.  And I would be seriously surprised if you didn't hear from the guy again, but if you don't, then someone new will come along. 

Dragonfly1976

Thanks so much I really didn't think it would be this hard. I was married, then dated off and on but the one guy I met from work. So then I started the online thing last year, and dated that guy if you can call it that for a few months and he was the only one I went on a date with. Now here I am...It's too much effort I think? It really shouldn't be this hard... Seems the 2nd date is never going to happen, the one guy I had dinner with last week. We still text and talk a lot but he hasnt asked me out again, odd? He does work 60 hours or so a week so that makes sense at least. Who knows, it's a big guessing game/mystery to me.

hrf

I agree that when you are a single mom with young kids, it changes things. The kids have to be a priority and in hindsight I wouldn't change anything although it probably would have been a whole lot easier to meet someone when I was in my 30's and newly divorced. But my kids have turned out great and they had to be #1. The online stuff is difficult - I had many, many first dates. Not a lot of second dates and even fewer beyond that. But I guess that's what it's all about - finding a good one and hoping the feelings are not only mutual but that they last. DF, you are young, smart and very attractive .... it's ok for you to be choosy too ....don't settle. Find someone who deserves you. So keep looking. And when you get married again, you have to invite all of us to the wedding....LOL

Dragonfly1976

You're so kind HRF Ha ha IF I was ever to get married again, you all better come! It will be one hell of a party

lovemyfamilysomuch

Crap, thinking of doing the match thing again, not sure I am ready.  Even though I am coming to realize that Franklin wasn't really a good match for me (he doesn't want to settle down, wants to leave the country and join the peace corps) it is still a blow to the ego when someone says they don't think they can fall in love with you.  Ouch!! Sorry to whine sisters, I am trying to be kind to myself, but I am not moping, just trying to stay strong, but sometimes, I think freakin men, who needs 'em. 

kiley56

Hi all,  computers been down, crashed took 3 days to get it back up, now having trouble getting signal.  Lots of storms coming thru.  As always wishing all you well !  Love your new pic Dragonfly !  Hugs, Kiley

Dragonfly1976

lovemyfamily, do what you feel comfortable with, take it slow and just try to learn from Franklin, the things about him that make him not for you are good things to know for the next person.

Kiley, THANK YOU!! ! Welcome back, wondered where ya went Talk about storms, any flooding for you or just snow/ice? I'm sure you've seen out the valley is totally under water My place I moved out of a few months ago has a foot of water in it! 

twoputter

DR...I think that one of these days you are going to meet the right guy and you'll be able to bring him home to the kids and he will want to be a part of your family.  Problem solved!

Dragonfly1976

Problem solved.... if only it was so easy

Dragonfly1976

Got an email from the guy I met and played pool with the other night. So he says hey we had fun, great conversation but he is sorry and doesn't want to be a jerk but it won't go any further we didn't click!

negirly

Dragon - aren't you glad he sent the email.  At least you have closure.