Perspectives

SpunkyGirl

Today I was being waited on at a local department store, and the first thing I noticed about the gal waiting on me was her very short gray hair.  The second thing I noticed was the very prominent LE in her right hand.  So I said, "Hi, I like your hair.  I had a cut like that a few years ago."  I thought it would prompt a talk about BC, but she clearly skirted the issue.  I thought that was puzzling, but as I was leaving, I was thinking that she probably looked at me (looking healthy) and thought there was no way someone "like me" would understand what someone like her was going through. 

Later, I thought about it some more, and I realized there was a lot about her I might not know.  Maybe this wasn't her first bout with cancer, or that she knows that she will always be treated for it.  Maybe she's just sick and tired of the people that are insensitive enough to ask what's wrong with her hand.  Who knows?  Boy, one of the things that cancer has really driven home to me is that we truly don't know what burdens other people are carrying around.  We think we know, but really, it's none of our business and all we can do is be there if they want to let us in.  The world is full of sadness, loss and grief.  I've said it before, but I'm just so thankful for today......

AmyD

Spunky,

I was touched by your post.  You seem so insightful and kind.   And just as you didn't know what was going through her mind,  you also don't know that maybe your kind comment to her may have made her day.  We never know the impact even a few small words can have on someone.  May you meet someone as insightful and caring as you were to her.

 _____________________

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."  Aesop

DX:  DCIS 7/09, 4.5 cm.  ER+/PR+.  0/2 nodes. Unilateral mastectomy

caaclark

So funny that you posted this today.  I was at the grocery store today and as I walked by the checkout I saw a woman with a pink hat (with the ribbon), obviously short hair, and no eyelashes or eyebrows.  I almost said something encouraging but thought about the what ifs.  Sometimes I want to tell people that I see that I was a stage III person and that I am almost 5 years out and that it does get better.  But then I worry they might be annoyed at me so I usually say nothing.

diana50

there are many of us out there. not just breast cancer; ovarian..lung...all kinds of cancer and as we continue to grow older...we will see more of us out there. treatments are better; and more of us are shopping...working...and dealing with cancer.

i think noticing is important. maybe before cancer you wouldn't have noticed...or even ..later thought about it. i think feeling the empathy for others is what makes us stronger and realize we are not alone. there are times i have said something...and times i haven't. it is all the same; we are battling for our lives and living life. cancer has given me a perspective that never before i even could touch.

keep on...keep on**

nobleanna007

SpunkyGirl,

Amen too you!!!!!!

Hugs,

B

clariceak

That's so true.  I had an epiphany about a year ago when I was in Seattle for my first round of chemo.  I struggled out of the hotel room feeling so sick and weak and went to the drugstore.  I looked horrible and felt stoned.  I saw the way people were glancing at me and averting their eyes.  Maybe they thought I was an alcoholic Native American or someone down on their luck. And my eyes were opened to the suffering of others in way that had never happened before.