Really scared......for the 1st time

misteme

Hi all, I am new to this site after googling to see what I can find about recurrence after having a double mastectomy. I am 7+ years post Stage IIA (with 3 lymph nodes that were positive) Estrogen positive. (HR-, no gene) and I just found, right now as I write this, a smal (4-5mm -size of a pencil eraser head) lump in the non-affected breast thtat I had removed prophylactically, at 9 o'clock. I am TERRIFIED, simply and fundamentally SCARED! So scared that I just told my 16 yr old son and 11 yr old son, as well. (the young one saw me crying) and I am a single mother, so it's not an easy feat to hide my emotions - I have to go to the bathroom for that, and it's harder now to stay in there too long without them getting suspicous) ANYHOW, I am wondering about if anyone has heard of, or knows, or has had experience in this situation????? I did my 5 yrs of Tamoxifen, as well as ACT Chemo....the 'lump' is right smack next to my SALINE implant.. I've lived the last 7+ years BELIEVING, having 110% faith that I am healed (I'm a Christian) and yet I am now so scared, I can't stop crying......I plan on calling my onco MD first thing Monday morning, but for the next 36 hours (even more until it's examined) I'll be an emotional wreck. I've never fully emotionally recovered from getting BC, in fact I'm on disability now from SS. I have anxiety disorder, depression, etc. And, have also had other physical disabilities (Fibromyalgia being the major, along with severe arthritis down my spine from my neck (I was a nurse for 15+ years) and 2 herniated cervical discs from getting hit by a drunk driver 2 yrs ago. This now, I am afraid will push me over the edge, which is what I've been living on these last 7 yrs. Although my faith has gotten me thru it, I've never thought much about a recurrence. Just alwasy believed I am healed 100%. However, a physical thing such as this lump now has me beside myself. Any suggestions, advice, (other than making an immediate MD's appt Monday am) would be so appreciated, Angie

dlb823

Oh, Angie, I'm so sorry you're going through the terror you are, but it sounds like you did everything that was recommended when you were diagnosed and treated 7+ years ago.  I know how scared you are -- I can hear it in your post.  Hopefully, the new lump you feel is either scar tissue or a cyst or something totally benign.  Other than that, all I can say is, try to keep busy to keep from worrying as much as possible until you can get it checked out.  I've seen so many women here on BCO in an absolute panic over a new lump or new pain, and 99% of the time, it's not a recurrence, but something else.  I will pray that that's your situation, too.  (((Hugs)))  Deanna

debbie6122

Angie- Im very sorry you are going through this, seems like you have had a rough few years and now to worry about this, Deanna gave you very good advice i just wanted to offer hugs and prayers for you as well. keep us posted!

HantaYo

Namaste!

Angie, I am so sorry you are going through such a scary time.  Don't jump too far ahead. Deanna gave you very good advice.  {{Hugs}}}.  I am hoping you get in to see your Dr. right away.

Karla

arvie

Hi Angie,

So sorry to hear about your scary time.  However, if you are a Christian you know that GOD is with you every step of the way. He is guiding you, holding you in his arms and is protecting you from whatever adversity you are facing.  This is my 2nd time being diagnosed with Breast Cancer, had a breast removed and also am nervous that the cancer has returned in the right breast.  I share your pain.  However, as everyone else said don't jump to conclusions, see your Oncologist, have him/her to schedule you for a mammography and pray.

Don't be afraid to cry in front of your children (I have 2 am also a single parent), they can take it.  They're a lot stronger than you think  Also, if you can tell your friends, your family, talk to as many people as you can.  Don't hold it in.  It's nothing to be ashamed of...AND in the end CRY< CRY< CRY - let it out.

<> Laugh, Love and Pray as much as you can.  Stop and smell the roses.  Be Good To Yourself!  You deserve it.  God Bless You!  Angie