Something that scares me more than my cancer dx

PiscesMoon

the dentist.  :: shudder :: believe it or not the dentist scares the heck out of me.  i'm totally phobic.  i had to get a broken tooth fixed right after my mx and i told the dentist straight up 'getting my dx, going through surgery, and the thought of getting chemo doesn't scare me like YOU do'.  i once again have to get a broken tooth fixed and am looking at either a cap or a rootcanal.  :-(  my blood levels are good and i can get the work done but i've been putting off calling.  when i do call i'll be telling them to hook me up with the nitrus.

anyone else have phobic stuff going on unrelated to bc?  like the dentist????  :-(

any suggestions?  besides a labotomy, i mean....

~M

Medigal

Labotomy sounds good!  I have to take half a tranquilizer before I can go to the dentist and then still get panic attacks.  Even when I know he/she doesn't cause me pain and is great with giving the deadening shots, I panic.  It comes from a bad experience in my childhood which has never left me. It is "very" important to make sure our children have good experiences with their first dentist. This can set how they react for the rest of their lives.

LuvRVing

Oh yes, I'd rather deliver a baby than go to the dentist.  I've had a phobia my entire life.  And I think my lumpectomy was less stressful than my last cleaning. 

Michelle

208sandy

So nice to know that I'm not alone - I've been phobic about the dentist since I was 13 and had braces - I am now 64 and more phobic than ever - but NOW that I have a small supply of Ativan - maybe I could do it......

Sandy

leaf

I agree so much with Medigal!  We learn from our experiences! Even when we don't remember what they were!!!

I still often am puzzled at what 'triggers' my PTSD-like symptoms (I'm better now, but not perfect.)  I even once cringed when I came in to work and the guard  said, "I hope you have a good shift!"  I knew he was very sincere about wishing me a good shift.  I had to pretend my shoes were untied and I was bending down to tie my shoes. Its like a lightening bolt strikes you- no control over your body.   That makes you feel REALLY nuts.

PiscesMoon

thanks everyone for replying.

medigal - i totally agree about children having a positive experience.  my daughter (now 24) had a couple of bad experiences but i think she sees how i react and then reacts in turn.  poor kid.

luvRVing - lol i always said that i'd rather have daily pelvic exams for the rest of my life than go to the dentist.

208sandy - i've never taken ativan.  i do have some xanax, though.  the last time i went i took one right before the appointment.  it seemed to help.  i'm sure you could do it!

tomorrow is DDAY.  i'll be making the phone call to make the appointment for next monday.  enough putting it off.  it's gotta be done.  i've got a lot of visits ahead of me with her.  i'm hoping the more positive experiences i have the better my phobia will get.

blah.

~M

iodine

My family couldn't afford dental care when I was a kid, so when I Did get to dental care it was a huge thing with lots of work that had to be done'

As a young employed adult, I had some work done (even had to take a loan out, ) and the dentist did local anesthesia with the gentle approach of roto-ruter---seemed to grind the needle into the skin.

So---after a few more years of taking Vistaril just to make myself go to an appt., I decided I no longer had to be superwoman.  I asked for and rec'd nitrous.  before even getting the injectionl.  Now I am POSITIVE I will feel no pain, or as positive as one can feel.  I have wondered why in the world I went all those years afraid of looking like a whimp and didn't just ask for it a LONG time ago. 

I can assure you I will never let them near me again without it.

PiscesMoon

ugh.  made appointment for next monday and told them to bring the nitrus onboard.

dotti - i'm hoping the gas works!

kellyj

Ah guys, this makes me sad. I am a dentist.  I do understand your fear though.  Someone invading your personal space, and you don't really understand what the heck they are doing in there!!  Take the drugs and the nitrous, it makes you easier for us to work on!  Good luck, and happy appointments.

 Kelly

PiscesMoon

thank you, kelly!  i'm certain that with more and more positive experiences my phobia will indeed lessen.  it must be hard for dentists to deal with so many people being afraid of them. 

lovemygarden

After many many many years I finally found a dentist that I don't mind going to. She's also the only female dentist I ever had. Her husband is a dentist also (joint practice) and once because of a last-minute thing I had to see him instead of her: big (negative) difference. At the risk of being sexist I do think it's possible that a woman dentist may have a "lighter touch" and be more sympathetic.

She's also the only one who realized that my bad reactions to local anesthesia were due to an intolerance of epinephrine (I have vaso-vagal syncope and epi is one of my "triggers"). Novocaine is lidocaine + epinephrine. None of my other dentists ever said that my passing-out could be related to that; my previous dentist said I was "allergic to novocaine" and so as a result I went through about 10 years of fillings etc with NO numbing! But my current dentist, when I explained my problem at the first visit, knew right away it was the epi and that many people have reactions to it. As a result, she uses only straight lidocaine for everyone -- just in case. And I've never had a problem since. Too bad I had to go through about 40 years of horror visits previously though!

PiscesMoon

OMG lovemygarden just the thought no numbing makes me sick to my gut!!   you poor thing!  i cannot imagine.  i'm really glad that you finally got it all figured out, though.  my dentist has an endodontist in her office who is the only male.  i feel more comfortable with female doctors, for whatever reason.  figures my onc would be male. lol

CoolBreeze

Yes, the dentist, me too.

I have NEVER had a good dental experience and by not good, I mean always painful, always with complications and sometimes seriously dangerous.  The penultimate experience was when I had a root canal done. Well, it didn't work so I had to go to a specialist, an endodontist.  He punctured my sinus while doing it,  I inhaled some bacteria, and ended up with such a bad case of pneumonia I had to spend a week in the hospital on IV antibiotics.  The infection had reached my bladder and kidneys and my lung collaped.

That was after a lifetime of bad experiences, and I vowed I'd never go back.

Then I got cancer, and had to do chemo.  I was told that people should clean their teeth before chemo otherwise they could get sick.  So, knowing I hadn't been to the dentist in over eight years, thinking I was an adult and lightening wouldn't strike 10 times, I reluctantly made an appointment.  I chose a sedation dentist, and figured I'd fix a cracked cap with a veneer at the same time  I'd do the deep gum cleaning necessary  - do everything in one day, under sedation.

I chose the best dentist in my town, costs be damed.

I did get sedation and ended up not remembering a lot of it.  Good!  Even though I hadn't been in many many years, my teeth were in relatively good shape.  They called me the next day when I was on my way to work to ask how I was, and I said fine, but asked,  "when is the numbness going to go away?"

What? 

Well, apparently that numbness wasn't normal.  The dentist had damaged the linqual  nerve with an injection.  I was left  with a numb tongue, shooting pains,  and no tastebuds whatsoever - everything tasted like metal a month before chemo.

It was a preview, I hoped.

Oh, I am a foodie and consider myself a gourmet cook.  I can taste subtleties in food that others can't.  Not being able to taste is a big loss for me - I should have been a chef.

I went back one more time a few weeks later to get the vaneer.  I did sedation again, and this time they couldn't get me under. Also, the gas didn't work, nor the novocaine.   So, it was a horrible experience.  It took hours and I was clutching the arms of the chair the whole time.  Horrible horrible.

Get this:  I got a call a bit later because They wanted me to go back - he accidentially left a piece of cement under the vaneer that needed to be removed.    Seriously!

You can imagine my answer to that.

I was told that if the tongue didn't recover in three months, odds were it would not.  So, three months later I'm in the middle of chemo and all I can taste is metal on metal and no improvement.  Five months later, I was done with chemo - no improvement.   None months - no improvement.  So, I figured that was a permanent loss and it was worse than losing my breast.

But, it's now been a year since that dental surgery and my tongue is recovering.  Maybe chemo made it delayed or maybe it's just one lucky thing.  . It's only been the last month that I've been able to taste and I still occasionally get that metal thing and some shooting nerve pain but it is almost back to normal.

Will I ever go back to the dentist?

What do you think?

Not even if I have to do chemo again.  I would do chemo any time over the dentist.

Edit:  I forgot to add.  My stepdaughter married a man and worked as a teacher to put him through dental school.  As soon as he got his own practice, he cheated on her and divorced her leaving her with nothing but her teacher's salary.

Dentists come from the bowels of hell.  Steve Martin in his portrayal in "Little Shop of Horrors" is pretty accurate, in my opinion.

kellyj

Bowels of hell?  Not nice.

PiscesMoon

well i had my appointment.  i asked for the nitrus (they obliged) and i brought an ipod so i didn't have to hear the drilling.  they did have to give me 4 shots (needles don't bug me though) because i wouldn't numb up.  the fourth shot was given by the endodontist (sp?) because he had a special way to numb people up i guess.  that did the trick.  the nitrus and music blasting in my ears made me feel great - like i was at a concert and i was loopy from the gas.  the dentist seems to think that i don't need a root canal and that a crown will be fine.  i'll go back in two weeks and get my permanent one put on.  also they scheduled me for a cleaning.  she's done a crown for me before and will numb my tooth before they place the permanent crown.  i have very sensitive teeth i guess and cannot deal with no novacaine when placing a permanent crown.  i don't know if i'll ask for the nitrus again but i know that if i do she will oblige me.  each trip seems to get easier and easier.  maybe it's because i have a dentist that truly listens to me and will do whatever it takes to make me comfortable.

anyways, i thought i'd update just incase anyone is reading this.

~M

cbm

Oh, boy.  I have to say this.  

I am thoroughly devoted to, love, and rely on my dentist.  I do not know what I would do without him. I go every 6 to 8 weeks for cleaning and check ups.  I have 8 dental implants, and a raft of complex engineering that over the years was endurable but not much fun.  Except that I liked going there and getting it all fixed. 

I had a bone scan last week and it picked up a hot spot in my upper jaw.  Having been at the dentist the day before,  I called him from the scan room and  asked what to do.  He said to do nothing; it's just a spot where they had to a little digging and poking.  But he took my call, reassured me, and asked how everything went, and congratulated me a an otherwise hot-spot-free scan.

It was my dentist who carefully warned me about getting involved with Zometa or Reclast before I absolutely needed them.  And warned me off the Actonel.  And only then agreed to my last extraction.  When I checked with the oncologist, he agreed with, and had a conversation with, the dentist.   

I figure God gave me difficult teeth and boobs.  I'm glad there are folks around to fix them.

Cathy 

PiscesMoon

cathy - what a fabulous post!  i'm so glad that you have a great dentist.  i'm liking mine more and more and am trusting her more and more.  i figure the more positive experiences i have and the more i can learn to trust her then the better my visits will be.

but i have a question.  why did your dentist warn you about zometa and reclast?  do they do bad things to your teeth?

~M

Suzybelle

Baby showers and bridal showers.  I hate them like the seventh level of hell.  I know that this makes me a horrible, evil, person...I just really, really, really hate them.

I don't mind the dentist.  Can you say HAPPY GAS????  Love that stuff.  Why don't they sell it at the Walgreen's, for pete's sake????

Adey

SB-- Ditto

PiscesMoon

suzybelle - i agree.  if we all want world peace then sell that nitrous at walmart or something!  :-)

crazy4carrots

Dentists -- anyone here remember Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman and Laurence Olivier?  I asked my dentist once if he'd ever seen it and he said "No, and I'm never going to"!!

I was horriby afraid of going to the dentist as a little girl -- problem was, he wasn't a very good dentist but he was a good friend of my dad's, so......

The worst thing about being in the dentist's chair (IMHO) is the noise.  No matter what drill is being used, the sound of it reverberates and is much louder because it's so close!  The second worst thing is always waiting (despite freezing) for it to hurt and send that ping of pain into your mouth.

Nitrous oxide has had strange effects on me.  A former dentist (before we moved) was tall dark and handsome with one of those beautiful soothing voices.  I wanted desperately to take him out to lunch (etc.) right up until the N.oxide was turned off.    Careful, ladies!!!

And yes, I hate showers too (unless they bring May flowers LOL).

cbm

Zometa and Reclast are bisphosphonates, used to treat osteoporosis, bone mets, and a growing list of other problems.  The issue with bisphosphonates is that they can cause osteonecrosis of the jaw in some patients who receive too much via infusion, and no one knows exactly how much is too much, nor what distinguishes the subgroup of patients from everyone who has a good response to the drug.  I was taking Actonel for osteoporosis and he grumbled, but when I asked for Reclast infusions to prevent recurrence of breast cancer (which Reclast and Zometa are being shown to do) he pointed to my vast dental experience and suggested it was a high risk proposition.  Unless I develop bone mets, of course, because then the risk equation changes.  The oncologist agrees with his assessment; I'm glad they talk.  Small towns are great.

Cathy 

Suzybelle

Thanks to this thread, I have been singing, "I am your dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors.

lovemygarden

Let me add "merchandise parties" to the list of I-hate's!  And no I don't care WHO is hosting it.

Suzybelle, I am a horrible-r, evil-er person than you     , because not only have I always found showers to be "social torture", I also hate weddings! Meaning the typical catering-hall variety. I did attend one wedding in my entire don't-ask-how-long life that I found to be somewhat enjoyable but it wasn't the typical one. It took place in a little village in the middle of nowhere in upstate NY. Everyone met at the groom's house and we all walked down a country lane to a little church that was built in the 1800s. The bride and her two attendants arrived in a horse-drawn antique buggy. Instead of the usual wedding gown she wore a simple cream colored long dress and a veil made from antique lace. After the ceremony we all walked to the bride's house (not far) while the bride and groom rode there in an old antique firetruck!  There were tents set up and a big "tea" on the grounds of the house. There was no DJ, no schmaltz.  It was like stepping back in time to a 1880s house party. All the more unusual since this was back in the late 1970s before "alternative weddings" became trendy.

I shudder to think what the day would have been like had it rained though.....

I run screaming away from merchandise parties, baby showers, bridal showers, weddings, and other such "shotgun social events"! 

PiscesMoon

lol suzybelle... and i love your icon 'bill the cat'!!  i used to love that comic strip in the newspaper.

lovemygarden - i've been avoiding events like that as well.  guess i'm just not as social as is used to be!  well, unless there is an open bar.  that might convince me to go.  lol

Suzybelle

oh, Lovemygarden, I hate those so very much.  They are horrible.  I have determined never, ever, to go to another one ever, ever again.

Pisces, I love that cartoon strip too.  I thought Bill was very appropriate for Pinktober, and I may just have to keep him. 

PiscesMoon

i'm going to claim this thread as my own personal whining thread.  :: sigh ::  i have a LOT of work that needs to be done.  i know that.  but last night when i was eating on the side of my mouth that the temp crown is on and my upper molar is sensitive to heat/cold.  *$&%.  how much you wanna bet i need another crown cuz that thing is cracked?  i sit here wondering how much my stupid teeth are gonna cost me.  i know i have a lot of work to be done.  i think i said that before.  but this is just overwhelming to me.  it's like i'm going to be going to the dentist every two weeks for 6 months or something.  on top of that i already go every three weeks for herceptin.  i've got a mammo scheduled for my one remaining boob.  i'm coming up on my one year cancerversary on nov 13th.  wtf. 

i'm overwhelmed.

yeah.  i think i said that before, too.

just.. W T F...

right.  i'm done venting.  i think.

~M

clariceak

Dentists are scary.  Maybe it goes back to when I needed to have 4 permanent teeth removed as a child.  I was told the anthesthia would "make me fly like superman".  Sounded like fun.  the reality was I was fully awake during the entire procedure yet I couldn't talk. I still remember the crunch and twisting as they yanked each tooth out.  Flash forward to 12 years of orthodontics with 2 different quacks.

I did realize before chemo that I needed to see the dentist so I carefully selected a "gentle dentistry" which advertised themselves as being the perfect place for the dental phobic.  It even attributed the phobia to childhood trauma and I thought finally, someone understands.  They offered nitrous oxide so I decided to try it.  The dental hygienist strapped the mask on me, turned it on the left the room!  I started to feel strange, not in a good way, more like I was dying yet I couldn't call out.  I finally managed to find the presence of mind to take the mask off me.  The pragmatic part of me realizes that seeing a dentist is important for overall health but it's still damm difficult,

PiscesMoon

clarice - "The pragmatic part of me realizes that seeing a dentist is important for overall health but it's still damm difficult"

you SO hit the nail on the head with that statement!!

~M

PiscesMoon

well today i go and get my permanent crown placed and a simple cleaning done.  my anxiety is not so bad at the moment - on a scale of 1-10 it's a 4-5.  i have to ask her about taking care of an upper left molar that is getting all sensitive on me.  she will numb me for the crown placement - i simply cannot tolerate it without being numb.  she had to do that for the other crown she did on the other side of my mouth.  i already made sure that they would have nitruous on board if i need it.  i don't think i will.  but you can never tell.  but what really makes this day just perfect *note sarcasm* is that i have a diagnostic mammo scheduled for this afternoon, too.  blah.  i'm not loving it.

~M

PiscesMoon

o m g.  sigh.  i think i'm going to put my poor dentist into therapy.  she numbed me for the placement of the permanent crown (most dentists won't do this but i'm speshul  ).  i told the tech that was going to remove it that i didn't feel numb enough.  she cheerily said, 'well lets just try.  it shouldn't hurt.'  uh, yeah, she don't know me so well do she???  so needless to say she tried and it hurt.  no a horrible amount but it did hurt.  what i wasn't expecting was my reaction.  i covered my mouth and started crying uncontrollably.  i've never had a reaction that sever before.  then she said, 'well, let me try again.'  i just shook my head.  forget about trying it again.  so she went to get the doctor without saying a word.  the doctor came in and felt really bad and apologized (she knows how i am) and then said she'd numb me more and that she would be the one to take the temp off herself.  she numbed me more and then left me to get numb and try to relax.  but i couldn't relax.  i sat there shaking and crying.  no matter what relaxation technique i tried, deep breathing, positive thought, talking to myself, none of it worked.  when she came back to me i said, 'i just can't calm down.'  she asked if i wanted to come back another day and try and i asked for the nitrous.  that did the trick.  it calmed me down and the tooth was numb and the placement went without a hitch.  after that i had my cleaning but still asked for the gas because i was afraid of having another reaction like that again.  i feel really let down.  i thought i was making progress with this stupid phobia.  this feels like a setback.  like i'll have to have the gas every time i go.  my goal is to just be able to walk into her office like a 'normal person' and be okay.  now i have another tooth that needs an 'inlay' which i guess is a partial crown.  it's on my upper jaw which is easier to numb so i'm anticipating an easier time.  but i'm just so dissappointed.  my poor dentist felt so bad about it.  right now i'm just spent.  i'm so worn out emotinally that i don't even want to eat dinner - and i'm a major food lover so that's huge with me.

:: sigh ::  well, okay, i won't whine anymore on this thread until right before my next appointment. 

~M