countdown to surgery!

cosbon

So, 48 hours from now, I'll be under the knife.  It seems like I've waited longer than the few weeks I've been waiting.  I'm still a little worried something will go wrong:  I get sick, or doctor has an unexpected family emergency and things will get postponed.  My son was sick with a bad cold and cough, so I walked around with a bottle of Lysol and Clorox Wipes.  I became quite obsessed with germs!   He is feeling better now, but I'm still cocooning myself and staying away from human contact the past few days.  I think it's my way of trying to control something that seems so out of my control.   My family and friends are humoring me with this germaphobic obsession.  One week before my scheduled BMX, I had a root canal at the dentist.  This was like a walk in the park.  I remember the days that the thought of a root canal would cause me to shake with fear.  Hah, how I long for those days of innocence.   Same day as the root canal (1/2 my face was still  paralyzed by the novocaine) I donated my own blood in case I need a blood transfusion.   I had never donated blood before, mostly because I never weighed enough in the past.  I now weigh the minimum (110 lbs) so I gave my pint of blood.  I was congratulating myself again at how easy it was....then I passed out.   I now know what it's like to die from blood loss.  It was really really really scary.      So, I've recovered, I cocooned myself away from germs, and I look forward to a BMX.    Oh boy!   

speech529

Cosbon

I am sorry you are going through this.  It's normal to be afraid when facing a medical procedure, especially a bilater mx.  I found the waiting was the worst part, too.  

This is a great place to come for support and advice.  There are other forums to check into, such as The October Mastectomy group.  

Take care and I wish you peace going into  your surgery and easy and speedy recovery!