Cancer NEVER ends!!!

crazylifex3

I guess today I am having a blah day. I just found out yesterday that my cancer has returned after 6 years. This beast has also mets to my spine and knees. I really don't know what to say , or how to feel at this stage of the game. In my mind I am trying to justify all of this and it still doesnt make alot of sense.I had a bi-lateral mx in 2004, and I was only 32 then.My cancer was found by mistake because I had hurt my back at work and the doc. sent me for an MRI. I had one dose of chemo back in 2004 that damaged my heart and made my injection fraction drop to 32%. Then I had a heart attack in 2008 from all of the radiation I had as a child to cure Hodgkins disease. Now 6 yrs. later I have to deal with this crap all over again?? WHY DAMMITT!!! I often wonder if it is a simple thing in life that causes cancer and the scientists just have overlooked it for the past decade. What if cancer is caused from eating chips,or MnM's, or drinking coffee？How simple it would be to just stop consuming those things and a person could be cancer free??? I just don"t understand why they can"t figure it out。。。。

ElaineM

I am sorry to hear about your reoccurance, especially after all your other problems.

However, even though it may be hard now, please try to hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other. With the right treatment you can come out a champ !!

All the best to you !!

Dilly

Blah day seems like an understatement from a strong woman.  You have come to the right place, there is support and love, and there are amazing women here to help you. All best wishes!!

3monstmama

<<hugs>> 

ibcmets

Crazylife--So sorry to hear about the return.  There are quite a few of us in the advanced metastatic section that have been going through what you are going through right now.  I was diagnosed stage IV with spinal bone mets last June.  I would have never known except for the inflammatory itchy rash I had on my breast.  I hope your new treatments are tolerable and successful.  I'm also ER/PR+, her2-.  There are a lot of options for us and many of us are living more years than expected.

You are so right; there are way too many young women having breast cancer.  They need to put more into research instead of awareness in order to find out why this is happening.

God Bless

Terri

carcharm

I eat chips, I eat M & M's, I eat... and I wonder the same things. I am 50 and you were 32. Why the age difference? Decendants? Environment? A combination? Or God's plan... whoever that may be? I wish I had an answer. Why me and not my siblings who have led their lives in a less serving way? Not sure of anything but live, love, and laugh alot.

samsue

It is dis-hearting to go thru it again. It seems you really need a big ((((hug))))

I wish that the dr's could give us some answers but as I read these threads, I realize the ladies are on so many different treatments. I don't think the dr's really know just what to do. I think they're "practicing" medicine on us. It truly is frustrating!

squidwitch42

Crazylife,

You have had far too many trials. I don't know why, or how or what.  I do know you don't have to do this alone, and you will find much support, and from ladies who are exactly where you are.  I am sorry sorry that you are facing this, but you clearly are made of tough stuff. (not that you have to be strong...) Wishing you the absolute best care and remission.  I am amazed at the resiliency of the ladies in the Stage 4 forums and I see there is much living to do from the threads there. Hang in there.

Many Blessings,

Traci

Cafelovr

(((CrazyLife)))

CoolBreeze

I'm so so sorry.  You have been  through it, haven't you? Not fair.

Big hugs  to you.  I wish it was something simple. 

karenmarie1

You are right it never ends.....................  I have congestive heart failure from chemo too. My EF went down to 15%, so I had a pacemaker implanted. I was dx'd with recurrence in Jan 2010, so far no mets. I am scared to death for the cancer to spread because of the heart issues. I am not sure I can do chemo again. I feel you......   ((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you!

LC815

You're exactly right.  It never ends.  It makes us angry, sad, sick, weak . . . but it also makes us loving, strong, determined, motivated . . .

Please visit us at the Stage IV board.  We are warriors . . . and mothers, daughters, wives, girlfriends, lovers, partners . . . we get it.

Peace,

LC

lea321

my heart goes out to you, as well as my prayers.  I too was recently diagnosed with a reoccurnce, this time on my thyroid only after 2 years of my breast cancer.  I also often wonder if cancer is caused by things we do everyday, and the foods we eat.  since then, I have done a lot of research to improve my eating habits, began eating organic and teaching my children to eat healthier as well.  although it is sometimes difficult, I try to focus on what is good in my situation, (finding it early, not needing chemo) and that helps.  but I do have to breakdown and cry now and then too.  I need to visit these boards more often, it is so comforting to connect with others who have been there. even though your cancer was caught by 'accident' I think there was another Higher Power at work there.  after discovering my breast cancer, my oncologist found a precancerous mole on my back that I would have never known about.  My thyroid was removed prior to the diagnosis, we had NO IDEA it was cancer until it was out.  Its funny sometimes how cancer is discovered, I am just glad it was found.  So try to stay positive, stress and worry only makes things worse.  (I know easier said than done, and I also need to take my own advise!)  (((HUGS))))

Lea

nancyh

Dear Crazylife,

Life is not fair and it sucks you had to go through treatment as a kid only to have breast cancer as an adult. And a heart attack to boot?  That's just so unfair and I'm so sorry...as someone said above, having a "blah" day is quite an understatement coming from someone who's been through a lot.

Come join us on the stage 4 boards - lots of support and information.  (((hugs)))

happymom8285

So so sorry for what you're having to go through right now.  I will be praying for strength and perseverance and peace as you face this new challenge.  You're right, it's just not fair.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Live through today and let tomorrow take care of itself.

{{{{{{{HUGS, too!}}}}}}}}

camul

I too am so sorry to hear this.  It really never does stop.  I was told such a small chance of recurrence, but here I am, 8 years later.  I wake up everymorning thinking it is a bad dream, but then am so thankful for each day. 

You are right it SUCKS!  I am one month out from this new diagnosis, past the shock, never past the anger, but am so grateful that I am still here each day~

(((((((( hugs )))))))))

cbass1958

  I know how you feel in 2002 I had a double mastectomy with 6 round chemo. Oct. this year they found nodule on lung. Now I've been diagnosed with congestive heart failure because of the chemo I had. They are planning surgery after the holidays. I'm scared I won;t make it through surgery .