Breast Cancer & Femininity

jessiANN

Hi, my name is Jessi Ann Simmons. I am a college student, and I am currently doing a study on femininity and beauty and what it is that makes a woman feminine and beautiful. I want to look at the general signifiers for a woman that can determine her beauty... breasts and long hair... and what happens when these are taken away. What effect does this have on a woman's femininity? 

This project was inspired by my grandmother. When I was little, I used to love watching her get dressed. She took the same care in choosing her undergarments as she did in choosing the right handbag and shoes. She was the ultimate definition of beauty and femininity. When I was in Jr. High, she had a bout with breast cancer (it would eventually come back in her lymph nodes). She had both of her breasts removed and as a result of the chemo, lost her beautiful hair that she used to put all of her time into. Ever since this, my grandmother has never allowed anyone to watch her dress again. 

A couple of years back, my grandfather left my grandmother for a period of a few months. When my mom, aunt, and I went to pick her up, she broke down and confided in me that my grandfather hadn't touched her in the same way ever since she had her breasts removed all those years ago. I remember wondering why. My grandmother is still a beautiful woman. Not having breasts didn't make her any less feminine. I also began to think about the inner struggle she has been going through all these years on whether or not she is going to have breast augmentation. (She still is undecided, and uses her old shoulder pads from the 80's to stuff her bras with... Another way to be green and recycle.) 

To me the scars themselves are beautiful (even though I have never seen them), and they make my grandmother even more beautiful because they are a visual representation of her fight and her victory. Women have breasts (no matter how large or small) and hair (no matter how short or long). They didn't do anything to deserve them or get them. However those scars and bald heads are acquired through a choice to fight with determination and drive to overcome the cancer. 

I would like to get the views of anyone out there... What was your perception of femininity before breast cancer? What made you feel feminine and beautiful? How has having breast cancer changed that? What is your view on true femininity? What makes you feel truly feminine and beautiful now?

 If you would like to get in contact with me and share (you can leave it anonymous if you'd prefer), I can be reached the following ways:

mail: 712 Bancroft Rd. Suite #339 Walnut Creek, CA 94598

 email: jessi.ann.simmons@gmail.com

Thank you,

 Jessi Ann