Doctor yelled at me...

karen1956

krobbins.....are you in eastern or western kansas?  how far are you from Denver....there are many excellent oncs in the metro denver area.....I would recommend that you file a complaint with the medical board about your oncs behavior....it is totally unexcuseable....your feeling, fears etc are yours and real when they are rational or not....they are your and need to be acknowledged.....You deserve so much more than this doctor is giving you.....I hope things work out well for you....

mymountain

krobbins,

I'm not stage lll, but I felt compelled to comment on your post.  I started with an onc that I just didn't like.  He never looked at me during my visits, and made me feel like my stage l cancer didn't matter.  But he made sure to tell me about a few stage one'ers that passed away (can you say insensitive?)  Also sent me out of the office with a presciption for both tamoxifen and prozac. The prozac because I had a tiny tearful episode in the office.  It was my third visit with him and early in the process.  The prozac and tamoxofin cannot be taken together and when I called to express my concern he blew me off, and told me to continue with both.  That day I made an appt with a very competent, caring onc, and never looked back.

It's a good idea to get copies of all your treatments and reports for future reference, as well as to double check what you are being told.  You can also have your new doctor (if you decide to go that way) fax a request for medical records to your onc if you don't feel comfortable doing that yourself.

I hope your children weren't traumatized by his rotten behavior. You DO deserve better than you are getting from him!

KAC

I need to chime in here.  Find another onc.  I only wish I had sooner, went to 3 visits and each time left her office feeling bad.  I have since found another one and she is absolutely wonderful and the staff is as well.  She is actually part of the same oncology group but a different office, so I know she has all the latest info available to her as well as the other.   This is my life and I deserve to be treated like I am a human being, not a number. 

Unfortunately, in this day and age, you need to take your healthcare into your own hands, do research, and get a new Dr. if you are not happy with the way you are treated.  There are some wonderful Dr.'s out there, I have learned that just because the Dr. is considered "one of the best" by some, it is not necessarily true.  I could go on and on but will not, I'm trying to move forward.

Good luck and take care.

kdrez

I would get another doctor.  I got all the side effects of chemo, and I was very blessed to have a great doctor.  My specialist told me, take care of your body and ask alot of questions.  I kept asking questions and all the specialists kept referring me back to my doctor.  My doctor would answer and continues to genuinely care, which makes me thankful.  I dealt with a social worker who told me to throw my pathology report away because I asked to many questions.  Everyone's body reacts differently to chemo and radiation.  I have friends who said chemo was no problem and they were able to continue working, my body didn't agree with chemo and now I deal with the after effects.  I strongly believe that your cancer doctor should be very supportive in listening and advising, remember - it's your body.  I hope and pray that everything works out.

Kris

deenah

I can't believe a medical professional would behave in that manner.  It would be bad if he were just a primary care Dr., but to be an oncologist dealing with cancer patients is disgusting.  I am so sorry you had to deal with that.  I would drive as far as I had to to see a better onc. if I were you.

 I had severe side effects with A/C and Taxotere as well.  Anti-nausea drugs don't work on me, I was neutapenic, anemic and had severe bone pain.  I've had multiple sinus infections, a raging rash that was badly infected, my finger nails are falling off, I have rectal bleeding and my GI tract is really messed up.  Having been through all of that and not having the personal connections to people who have either been diagonsed with or died from breast cancer, I am still on Lexapro to deal with my depression and anxiety having to do with cancer.  I think it is completely normal for you to be "hyper paranoid" after all you have been through.  I know for me, I can't even sleep at night without Ativan and Ambien because I am constantly thinking about the chances the cancer could return.  I also have 2 small children (6 and 3), and I was to be here to see them grow up.  It's a scary thing to think about!  My oncologist is wonderful, but she did recently tell me (I am still undergoing treatment, so the waiting time between scans or xrays hasn't even happened for me yet) that after treatment they don't generally do PET scans, and that doing a chest xray is standard.  But, she also said that if I have any symptoms that worry me, she will order a PET instead.  I think they weigh the risk of the exposure to the radiation with the necessity of doing a PET.  

 Anyway, I am glad you are going to go see another oncologist for a second opinion.  That PET needs to be explained to you in detail, and if it isn't difinitive, they need to do more testing.  You know your body, and if that pain in your rib has you worried, I wouldn't ignore it based on what that Dr. has told you.  One thing I have learned is that I will never leave my life in one doctor's hands.  I am having surgery in 2 weeks and rads 6 weeks after that.  I am driving almost 2 hours to SF to get second opinions with a plastic surgeon as well as a radiation oncologist.  I have heard nothing but good things about my local plastic surgeon and radiation oncologist, but I still feel like I need 2 opinions.  I did the same with the general surgeon and oncologist before chemo.

Good luck!

Susie123

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think now that you've had time to collect your thoughts I would share them with him, if you don't want to do that in person please write them down and mail them to him. It sounds like he needs to be reminded that he deals with cancer patients, not patients whose only issue is a common cold. I would definitely find another onco, there are some great ones out there who truly do care. I too live in a rural area. I traveled 2 hours each way for my breast surgeon and would travel for an onco if my only choice was one like yours. You deserve an onco who cares. I just had a liver ct and bone scan due to elevation in one of my liver enzymes, it turned out ok, but I can't imagine an onco acting like yours when all you want is peace of mind. DUMP HIM!

Ihopeg

My onc has basically been nasty to me too. This past year when I wanted a MRI because my BC was not shown on mammo, she gave me a really hard time. I had to ask my rads Dr. and she said no problem. Also, I feel like she doesn't like it when I bring up new research. She will not let me go on Zometa. I know I need to switch drs, but who wants to start all over again. It would mean new hospital, surgeon, rads and onc. 

1WonderWoman

Krobbins: I am totally with the others who mentioned HIPPA violations for yelling at you like an animal.  He would have gotten a yell right back if that was me.  What a punk.  

I just wanted to introduce one other idea, as I know you are in a rural area.   Have you ever considered flying to a metropolitan area to see another, clearly more qualified, and hopefully emotionally adept, doctor?  Flights can be found so inexpensively these days and if you went to like Farber in Philly I am sure you could get accomodations there or nearby with a discount.  If you don't want to fly, check out train travel to a more metropolitan area to see a new onc.  

I know your situation is not ideal but, suffice it to say, I would not go back to him under any circumstances.   We have enough to deal with without abusive docs.

I wish you well.  I would check into Farber...I am pretty sure they let you stay at the facility while you are getting taken care of.  Also, with chemo schedules some 3 weeks apart, you would not have to go back to the onc too frequently.

Best of luck-

Liz

krobbins

Thank you so much to everyone who posted.  It is amazingly comforting to communicate with others who are in the same boat. Deenah- our stories sound nearly identical.  Chemo sucks...it was hard to imagine I was going to live through cancer when I felt like I was dying.  A year later I am fit and healthy again, but I never would have imagined it then!

I did go see another ONC today.  She was an absolute angel.  She presented my case to the tumor board this afternoon and called me to discuss it after that.  She and all the oncologists on the tumor board from the university felt strongly that I should have had radiation six months ago after my surgery.  They also felt that I should have my ovaries and uterus removed and should have been put on an ovarian suppression drug in the meantime in addition to my Tamoxifen.  In addition to all of this news, she was very surprised that my previous ONC had not given me a biphosphonate (Zometa).  I am so angry!  Now I have fully expanded TEs and have my implant exchange surgery scheduled.  It will have to be postponed for radiation.  In addition, I am at risk of losing my job (I am out of FMLA....and have worn out my bosses sympathy) and have radiation and two surgeries in my future.  I want to do everything I can to make sure this cancer doesn't rob my children of their mommy and I am so mad that my ONC didn't give me those options earlier.  I suppose better late than never.  And I do feel very lucky to have found my new, wonderful doctor who seems to have put some serious thought into my care.  Bonus- she is the first doctor who has asked me about or helped with my menopausal symptoms! 

iodine

OMG, kiddo, that's just the pits.  I hope you are preparing to report his ass to the state medical soc.? 

Talk with social services about options re: Family leave.  Also, you could use some help with your boss.  I would make an appt with your new onc. and let her know about this side of your new care plan.  Your social and employment sides are all part of your medical condition and care. 

Not only was the previous onc. an asshole, but incompetent as well.  I've never, ever, heard of an onc telling ANYONE going on chemo that they'd be able to work thru chem.  Let alone, then have the unmitigated nerve to become frustrated with presented side effects of chemo.

Ya know, I don't think much of lawsuits, being a medical person myself, but this sure looks like something that should be discussed with an attorney.  May not be actionable, but worth a discussion.

SusieMTN

OMG I am so glad you found a NICE Oncologist.   

Someone needs to tell the other one he CHOSE the wrong career!  I know their are Websites that you can rate your doctor, maybe it would be good to give a heads up to other potential patients. What a COMPLETE JERK he is! 

AnacortesGirl

The good news is that you have found an onc who cares and what the best treatment for you.  But the old onc has made a mess.  It may be grounds for compensation.  But I'm not the "suing" type.  Didn't even put a lien on the ex for the zero child support.

ananda8

His behavior was so out of control there is a real chance that your oncologist may be abusing drugs.  Drug abuse is the dirty little secret of the medical world.

CherylQ

Hello everyone,  I need to give some information on physicians.  I am a nurse and know how mean some doctors are.  First, the behavior of a physician yelling at a patient will cost him his license and become censored by the medical board.  Second, a good lawyer will use the medical liability laws that protect patients to get rid of bad doctors.  Third, when a physician yells and attempts to control you, remind him of his oath, DO NO HARM, and then suggest he or she should get rid of their god complex.  Fourth, gossip in small communities are a good way to get of physicians that have stop caring.  Just tell your story at support groups, to your church and your friends.  And then, remember we are here to support and help you.  Feel free to scream, cry and yell.  We will listen.

May peace and laughter be your guides.

Cheryl

SusieMTN

Cheryl excellant ideas Cheryl, yelling doctors SUCK!   They need to change professions!

carcharm

Be sure to report it to HealthGrades.com. Many, Many people who are looking for physicians will pay to read reviews about their docs from this website. Once the board of the hospital starts seeing how many bad reviews this guy is getting they will either tell him to change or not renew his rights to practice. Healthgrades is huge. The Cleveland Clinic uses their data to better their outcomes. The docs with bad reports have education and opportunities to better their practice or else...

AussieSheila

.............you must have a better system over there than we have in Australia.

I was having a body scan two yrs ago and they couldn't find a vein to put the dye into. Naturally, I wouldn't allow them to use my right arm, although I did offer my feet in compensation.  So, after 2 tries each, the 2 nurses sent for a Dr while I lay waiting on the scan table. The next thing I heard was a loud voice coming closer from somewhere behind my head, telling all and sundry that.....' this stuff about not using a limb after node removal is a fallacy...........There is no evidence/research that proves it causes LD etc,...' and then he stood over me while ranting and raving on at me for a further two minutes before storming out without inserting the canula. 

If I hadn't already been lying down, I would have fallen to the floor as I felt like a jelly fish afterwards.  I never got his name to report him or send my DH after him but the two nurses were very red-faced while they inserted the canula on the first try in my right arm.

When I walked out of there to where my husband was waiting, I had so many bandaids over me, he asked loud enough for every one in the busy waiting room to hear, "My God, what did they do...........use you for a dart board?"

Sheila.

jenn3

I am so glad to hear that you've found a new onc that you like and feel more comfortable with.  I'm sorry to hear that your FMLA is almost gone.  Talk to your onc about what needs to be done and when, then maybe you can talk to your boss and/or HR about what time you have left or how much longer you need to wait before you can claim more STD, LTD or FMLA.  I'm saying that because I have a 12 month wait, then I can start over, which I plan to do for my recon.  However, during my 12 month wait I have a good bit of vacation time and sick time I can use for other things.

Good luck (((hugs)))

Cowgirl13

Notself--that is exactly what i was thinking--i pulled my post about this issue when I first read about it.  No doubt his doc is substance abusing and needs to be brought up to the medical board--for the sake of his patients and also, when they haul those docs into treatment, they can shaped up. There's nothing like the threat of losing their medical license to get them sober.  There are several physician only treatment centers and the impaired physicians do not like the thought of going there--I have seen physicians who have come out of these and been in recovery many years and they are fine physicians.  In healthcare, we used to call it "impaired physicians".  I once was the conference coordinator for an impaired physicians conference.

gale1525

I had problems with my ONC and after complaining to my primary care doctor, who then called her up, he is no longer referring her  to other patients. So I have  at least some satisfaction.

gale1525

I had problems with my ONC and after complaining to my primary care doctor, who then called her up, he is no longer referring her  to other patients. So I have  at least some satisfaction.

DesignerMom

notself-  I was thinking the exact same thing, that perhaps krobbins doctor was abusing drugs.  I had the unfortunate bad luck of using a drug abusing doctor.  He was a famous, highly respected infertility doctor in NYC.  After appalling wait times, barely 5 minute appointments and a miscarriage due to not diagnosing my real infertility problem, I found another doctor.  My new doctor diagnosed my reason for repeated miscarriages with one blood test.  I thank God every day that I changed doctors as we now have the most beautiful, healthy 11 YO son.  I later found out from a nurse that the first "famous" doctor had lost all hospital priviledges from Mt. Sinai due to drug abuse.  He was later fired from a different hospital for causing brain damage to an infant during delivery.  I can not fathom how these doctors keep working, and they should NOT!  Whether or not drug abuse is involved, there is NO excuse for doctors to be abusive.  I have been lucky with my doctors who are great.  However some of the other medical administrative staff has been incompetent and rude.  When this happens, I usually stop them in their tracks by "sweetly" saying "I'll gladly trade jobs with you if you want to take my job in the chemo chair"!  Sort of puts it in perspective.

krobbins- I am so sorry you had the great misfortune of crossing roads with this doctor.  Definitely get copies of ALL your records and reports and make sure nothing is missing.  Not only will this help your new doctors re direct and correct your treatment, you may want to consider finding a lawyer if this doctor truly did screw up. It is bad enough to fight this BC beast.  to have to run interference with people like this is just unfathomable,   I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Ladies, PLEASE, if a doctor or their care doesn't feel right, trust your instinct, it's there to protect you.  Find another doctor who you can trust.  

ananda8

I had an ophthalmologist who was a drug user.  I figured it out by his bizarre nonsense comments during an exam.  His license was revoked a year later.  Another doctor in town, internal medicine, perforated the colons of three patients in 6 months.  It turns out the doctor was a drug user.  It came out in his trial after one of his patients died.

Perhaps I am overly sensitive, but drug addiction is the first thing I think of when I hear of odd behavior.

CoolBreeze

Maybe in Kansas a complaint would help.  In CA, not so much.  Our local newspaper just did an in-depth article on this subject and physicians who had killed people over neglect are still working.  I don't think any yelling is going to lose anybody a license - at least in my state.

There are other ways though.

In these days of technology, people need to start watching their behavior.  If any doctor started yelling at me and calling me names, I'd whip my iPhone out and hit the record button and put it on YouTube.  I always have my phone in my hand in doctor's offices because there is nothing else to do.  It'd be really easy to get that on camera.

carol1949

I would ask, was the Dr. yelling in anger, or was he just loud, perhaps a personality trait?   Certainly I would hope he wasn't yelling in anger, and yes, they are human... so who knows?  If you are uncomfortable returning, I would certainly explore my options. 

Unfortunately, many times insurance companies make things very difficult, as they won't approve certain tests.  My onc said they won't do routine pet scans, unless they are medically indicated.

Hope you don't have any other uncomfortable moments with this person.  Are there any other physicians in the office?  In mine, there are several and all you have to do is ask for who you want to see.

Meggy

This is outragious.  Is there someplace you can drive to to get a second opinion on that scan?  Will your insurance allow that...maybe without your oncologist knowing since he sounds like an egomaniac.  I have two primary care physicians...they don't know about eachother....

happymom8285

I'm appalled!  How unprofessional.  I'm sure it's the last thing you want to do, but there are patient's rights and one of them is to be treated with respect.  Whoever is his superior needs to be told and have a complaint filed.  Who knows how many others he's done this to?  Rest assured, if he's done it to you, he's done it to others.  Although hard, try not to be intimidated by him.  Maybe your DH could do it?  After all, doctor's are human, too, and put their underwear on the same way we do!!  I'm so sorry you went through this.