Having trouble sleeping - anxiety?

Houndmommy

I am  having such trouble sleeping - it is driving me crazy!  I can't figure out what the problem is.  I don't "feel" anxious but I am wondering if anxiety is causing me to not sleep and when I do sleep to toss and turn.  When I say I'm not anxious, I should say I'm not laying in bed worrying about stuff but during the day I do think and worry quite a bit.  I'm not sure where to turn for help.  I guess as my tx are coming to an end, I worry about the things that "went wrong".  I feel lucky to be stage 1 with no lymph node involvement and I feel like you only get one chance to do this right.  If it comes back, it comes back as mets or it is a local recurrance and since I've had a mx and full rads, I'd have to do chemo.  Unfortunately I lost a lot of confidence in my doctors throughtout this journey. My case was complicated and when I finally had the mx, they found more cancer than they originally thought was there.  My pathology report is messy, hard to follow and the oncologist had to ask the lab for more info (stuff that should have been on the original report).I feel like it still has holes.  When my report firat came back, my breast care coordinator called me to tell me what it said and she told me my margins were clear and I didn't need rads.  Three weeks later when I saw the surgeon he says I do need rads as my margins weren't clear in 2 places!  It took another 2 1/2 weeks to see a radiation oncologist so at this point I am nearly 6 weeks past my surgery and the rad. onc. tells me they usually like to start rads by 4 weeks but ultimately I didn't start until nearly 9 weeks post surgery.  THen I find out later that my one margin wasn't just not clear, it was "involved".  The rad onc has told me this twice. I like my surgeon but am not sure I trust him (we don't have a breast surgeon in the area so he is a general surgeon).  His answer to some of my questions didn't make sense based on what I know.  I guess I am mad at myself for not getting a second opinion when I realized how messy my path report was but I was tired and overwhelmed and trying to keep my kid's lives as normal as possible.  I just couldn't get it all done.  I wish that when someone gets a cancer dx they could go away somewhere to just focus on themselves and their treatment and not have to juggle jobs, family, etc.  I feel like I don't have time to take care of me!  On top of all this I need to figure out whether to have my other breast removed (I need to do it this year since I have met my HUGE deductible).  I worry about how we will manage finacially if this comes back anytime soon.  I just feel everything is hopeless -  I have such a strong feeling that it (BC) will be back in a couple of years because things weren't done right and I didn't do enough to make sure things were done right.  Boy!  Am I a mess!  I didn't realize how much so until I wrote all of this. Anyway, if you've read this far, thanks for "listening".  I really don't have anyone to talk to about this.

Bren-2007

Mommy ... sounds like you have a lot going on right now.   I would be anxious too.

If your doc won't give you something for sleep or anxiety ... try taking Benadryl before going to bed.  It might help.  I take meds every night for sleep.  My mind races and I can't turn it off!

Sending a big hug,

Bren

Shrek4

Bren, I got the same thing with the mind racing. Not anxiety, I just can't stop thinking. I go to bed sleepy, and once I lay down I start thinking about all kinds of things, and before you know it, I'm all awake and not sleepy anymore. Unfortunately benadryl doesn't work for me.

CheriD

Anxiety is my problem as well. The difference is, I do much better in the afternoon and at night and sleep fine but in the morning is when I have the issues. I have been taking a half of a xanex b4 bed.

I've had anxiety issues in the past and I hate the feeling. What's weird is that after the first surgey and then the DX I didn't have this issue. I felt suprisingly good knowing that God is in control. Going into surgery for the MX I was fine and felt good and now since the surgery I seem to be in a funk and I just want to feel back to my energentic self. 

Not having the energy to get out and do things def. doesn't help and  I feel guilty feeling this way when there are so many women going thru so much worse and they seem to be fine or they have much more of a reason to feel the anxiety.

Anyone else out there feeling like this?

PallittosMom

Yes.  I feel exactly like you do, CheriD.  I made the mistake of telling my Surgeons P.A. that i took two quarters of a xanax this week to sleep... the weak one, 1 mg.  Now they're sending me to a psychiatrist before they will schedule my surgery.  I pray for sleep to come and it wont.  There's just no way to turn off my brain.  

I just started Wellburtron to stop smoking a couple of days ago.  I wish it were strong enough to knock me out.   I just took a couple of Premesyn Pms pills... I hope it works.   My poor brain and body could use a break.   

Good night.... i hope.

Shrek4

I have big issues sleeping too. Not so much anxiety, but I get sleepy in the evening, go to bed, and a minute after I lay down, my mind starts racing. About all kinds of things, not anxiety really - let's say, on a project I have started, and on what else I would want to start, on how I would want to re-arrange the living-room, the flowers in the garden, feeling my little whippet all cuddling along my legs and remembering how cute he was when I got him, and where could I find an interactive toy for him.... and it just goes on and on and before you know it, I'm wike awake as an owl.

jancie

I can't sleep without taking something at night.  I normally take ambien but if my mind is racing like crazy and I can't shut it off then I take a diazepam (valium 10 mg) to be able to sleep through the night except for those 3 am potty breaks due to old age.

Benadryl also used to help me but it counters the affects of Tamoxifen so I don't take it unless I am having an allergic reaction.

Tylenol PM was my sleep aid of choice before cancer because my doctors didn't want to prescribe ambien (for whatever reason) and I would wake up hung over and not be able to function for at least 2 hours upon wakening.

It is important to get a good nights rest.  Not only for the mental part but your body heals so much faster if you sleep well because your body is pretty much motionless during the night so your body can concentrate on healing. 

leaf

For me, biofeedback really helped.  After a neck surgery, I asked the surgeon for some sleepers, and he gave me some 5mg Valiums.  They didn't work at all for me for sleep.  (I have something like PTSD,though its improved over the years.)

First, even if you're very anxious in your mind, you concentrate specifically on your body's sensations. Essentially, what you do is first take a couple of very deep, slow breaths through your abdomen, then take each muscle group in your body, say starting with your forehead, and first contract the muscle forcefully (you can omit this step once you know what tension feels like), relax,  then make as small a contraction as possible a few times, then let tension flow away from that anatomical location. Then to your scalp (that's a hard one to feel), then down to your  eyes, nose, cheeks, neck, shoulders, upper arms,etc, taking one anatomical location at a time.  You can envision 'breathing out' tension as you exhale.  Usually, by the time I go through my body twice I'm asleep.

Its more difficult for me to remember to do this when I'm having trouble sleeping, or of waking up early.  

The price is right, and doesn't require a prescription.

3jaysmom

here i am, on the computer, as i am most nights. its been this way, for longer than i can remember. since bc, even worse. now, if my brain will allow me to sleep, the hot flashes wake me up!! im so touchy with meds, ambien stopped my breathing, and they had to call ambulance.. long time ago. i just go with the flow lately, but im getting all turned around sleep cycle. will have to adress it soon. nice to know "im not alone" but i hope the rest of you guys GO TO BED lol   light and love, 3jaysmom

Mary-Lou

Ativan has helped me in the past. I also have neuropathy so I have to take neurontin. Two at night 600mg ea. I sleep pretty well, till the hot flash. Or my bladder wakes me up.

Also I try to close my eyes and go to a place in time that was really happy and fun to be at. Next thing you know I'm dancing with the pool boy! Well you can make up a place. LOL There are no rules.

flash

Don't assume it's always anxiety from BC.  After everyone  attributed my sleep problems to the BC anxiety, it turns out it's actually Sleep Apnea.  If you're on any drugs that affect tendons and ligaments (ie steroids or ai's) it can possibly change how your throat stays open or the size of the opening. My body reacted to a lowered amount of oxygen because throat was smaller, causing a reflex startle reaction which woke me up.  For many, your body doesn't want to go to sleep because as you are working on falling asleep, the oxygen level starts to diminish and you can start the cycle over.  I wish I had known before I spent two years thinking I was anxious. 

Certainly isn't the answer for everyone but it points out that you need to be sure that it isn't something else before jumping to conclusions. 

PallittosMom

Got 5 hours of uninterupted sleep straight through to 4:00 a.m. last night.  That's a switch! 

Yeah, I'm braggin...  LOL!  

Why is it the weekends are lower stress for me than during the week?  Worrying about this cancer is like a job, I guess.   That's how it feels.  

impark1

I'm just answering because I just found this blog today and reading your story literally made me cry because I can so relate.  I was diagnosed almost a year ago with HER2 Stage 1 but Grade 3+ BC.  Only needed a lumpectomy; no lymph node involvement but because HER2 and Grade 3 (while there was only a little of it, it was aggressive in growth - my simplistic understanding) - so did 6 cycles of 3 chemo drugs in the beginning (carboplatin; taxotere; and herceptin)'; 5 weeks of radiation and now still have 3 of 17 herceptin chemo treatments left.  Have found the herceptin alone to cause extreme anxiety, including full blown panic attacks and because I'm the sole provider have tried to work full time and plow right through it, just putting cancer on my "to do" list.  My e-mail is imparato@ptd.net.  Know I just said a prayer for you.  There are too many of us - it's becoming an epidemic

impark1

Welbutrin can actually have anxiety as a side effect (or so I found this summer) and then they tried buspirone for my anxiety, which also just made it worse.  I feel like there are so many drugs out there and perhaps with enough experimentation you can find the right one - but the post about being sent to the psychiatrist resonated with me.  I didn't want to add psychiatrist, to the list of doctors (oncologist; radiologist; primary MD) I'm already seeing and just wanted my primary MD to treat me. I gave up on the zolofts, effexors, lexapros - and am just relying on taking 2 MG xanax on an as needed basis and enjoy a couple of glasses of wine before bed at night....at least it's not chemicals