how aggressive is aggressive?

imatthew

Hi, we met with our surgeon this week and were told that my wife's cancer is very aggressive since it is HER2+++ and poorly defined.  However they've told us that waiting until mid-Sept for surgery is fine (the nurse said that surgery anytime in the next 2 months is fine).  The delay right now is due to juggling schedules of the surgeon and plastic surgeon, both of whom are taking vacation in the next 2 weeks, and in trying to get the remaining scans done (we are also planning on taking vacation next week).

Given the diagnosis (see below), and that the MRI didn't see any signs of cancer in the lymph nodes, is waiting until mid-September dangerous?  As you can imagine, we're pretty stressed over this.

shadow2356

I also had ER/PR-, Her2+ cancer. I was diagnosed on 8/14/09 and they did my surgery 10/9/09. The waiting was tough because I just wanted it out. My doctors told me that breast cancer tends to be slow growing compared to other cancers even when it is grade 3. Even with my wait my nodes were still negative.

Good luck to you.

imatthew

thank you for your response!  from what i've read here most seems to agree that the point between diagnosis and surgery is the toughest part psychologically, so hopefully better days are ahead.  

3jaysmom

i was told thae my cancer had been there for ten yrs or more; it was quite involved, and a two month wait did not make much difference. i had respwct dfor my surgeon, so i waited i decided o9n a d bmx., and scans so clear for cancer. hpe it all works out for you guys.   light and love    3jaysmom 

debbie6122

imatthew- Im so sorry about your wife, but im glad you are here. im sure her onco knows what he/she is doing, but, yes, the waiting sucks and can take a toll on you, my recommendation is since they are going on vacation just for peace of mind i would get a second opinion, most woman do and if he is a good dr, they wont mind, but go have a great vacation i did to i had plans to go to hawaii prior to finding out i had BC and went for 2 weeks, so glad i did, it really helped me mentally- We are all here for you and your wife, please let us know how she is doing and if you have any questions please dont hesitate to ask- (((((((((hugs)))))))))

Debbie

imatthew

we finally have a surgery date - October 15th.  The delay comes from our primary surgeon traveling for 2 weeks in September, and the time required to coordinate between our DIEP team and the PS, and get the proper room reserved.  Of course my wife is freaking out that this is too long to wait, so we're trying to get a call with her PS to confirm that the additional risk of waiting is acceptable. 

shorfi

I love the concern and empathy that you have for your wife. You seem like a wonderful man and she is very blessed to have you at her side.

I can imagine the anxiety that you both have, because that waiting makes you feel like you have no control over what is happening. Allow her to cry. This is a scary time for her, but the positive side to this is at least you have your treatment plan in order. I believe she will be fine.  Try to enjoy your weekend together and perhaps taking her out for dinner will help to relieve the stress a little until you hear from her PS.

imatthew

thanks for your comments, from everything I've read a few more weeks isn't likely to make a difference, but of course she just wants it out of her.

Luah

I can well understand your wife's anxiety, especially with hormone negative and Her2+++. I didn't know my grade or hormone status (aggressive triple negative) prior to surgery and waiting 4 weeks from diagnosis (and almost 8 weeks from discovery of lump) was agony.

I'm no expert on this, but have you considered doing the reconstruction work later?  Would that make a difference to the scheduling?  Just a thought, but hopefully your PS says all's good.

Alyad

 I had a similar wait. I was sx dec9,2008 and due to the holidays and coordinating of surgeons I didn't have surgery til jan 29, 2009. I was HER - but I had very high Ki67 proliferation score and that made me nervous.  I think it was worth it to have the immediate mx to TRAM (similar to DIEP). The difference between doing it immediate vs later is you keep the breast skin and just have a circle of stomach skin where the aerola used to be. I have a lot of freckles on my chest and I am very glad I don't have mismatched cleavage skin- when I look down at my chest I still look like me.

CoolBreeze

I'm her2 and grade 3 with multifocal disease - was dx'd august 17 and had surgery october 20th.

So, I'm about a year ahead of your wife.  I'm still in treatment too - it's a long haul.  But, it does get easier over time.

I should be done with everything except minor surgeries by Christmas.