Bone Scan Tomorrow - Really Scared

Paula1231

Hello All,

I feel like Alice plunging down the rabbit hole.  I was diagnosed with IDC from a core biopsy the end of June.  I have had labs, chest xray, ct scan, and now a bone scan.  So far things are negative.  I have a 1.12 x 1.15 tumor on the outer side of my left breast.  They found small inclusions as well and want me to have mastsectomy.  I have back pain, and I am praying it has not metastasized to my bones.  All I do is cry.  I had to tell my boss yesterday that I will be out 4 to 6 weeks.  The surgeon says it is good that my tumor is era and pra strongly positive and her2neu negative.  I met with a plastic surgeon and he can rebuild me (bionic woman) and make me look more natural.  LD flap.  Geez things are flying by me so fast.  In the eye of a hurricane. 

Joannan

Hello...just read your post and am thinking of you (((hugs)))) hope the scan is clear.

busqueen

Paula, we've all been right where you are, we understand, and we are here for you.  I hope and pray your bone scan will be clear, and you will be able to focus and make the decisions you need to make about the IDC in your breast.  Don't be afraid to ask questions here, even if you think they are silly ones.:-)  Take a deep breath.

Paula1231

Thank you both. I am so glad I found you all.  I am learning alot from everyone's experience.  I feel the hope and courage in all the stories.  Will I ever feel like myself ever again?  Will there be days that I do not cry?  I read the Dune books and I have been repeating the litany against fear over and over.  I visited the Santuario and picked up some holy water and the blessed earth.  Its stupid, but I have placed the earth in a small baggie and wear it next to my tumor.  I will have the surgery on the 17th of August, and I am looking forward to getting the tumor out of my body, but I will so miss my breast.  I do not know how to say goodbye to who I was, and I am not sure who I am now.  Is this all normal?

busqueen

Paula, there will definitely be days that you do not cry and people will feel the hope and courage in your story.:-)  The question about feeling like yourself again made me stop and think.  I know that going through this has changed me profoundly, so I would say that I definitely don't feel like "myself" anymore.  But, moments will appear, where everything just feels so incredibly normal, that I almost forget what has happened.  And yes, all the things you are feeling are normal, and nothing is "stupid" if it gives you even the smallest amount of hope and peace.

Paula1231

Everything came up negative.  Will have surgery August 17.  Now for that pesky tumor!

KatherineNaomi

Congrats!! I can imagine how relieved you are. I hope your surgery goes well and you heal quickly and comfortably.

mahometmom62

Just joined.... was diagnosed on July 14th..... HER2 Neg about 1.5 cm had to needle suction assisted biopsies one with ultra sound and one with mri....only one spot on right breast.  I have will have surgery on August 23.  I feel like all I have gone thru and still nothing is for sure til after the surgery on the details.....  I am have a mastectomy right side wth reconstruction.  I am really small busted so lumpectomy would be very damaging.  So take off I do not care I just want to feel better.   Please let me know how your surgery went and if lymp nodes were good.   I hurt all over I think its just the stress!!  I imagine all kinds of things and fear everyone of them.... I cry in the morning when I wake   it all comes back to me over and over again.    I had been watching my breast for the last 2 years I am 48 and dense breast and cyst but had mamo in Feb and then it started dimpling but the mamo came back ok... then it got worse so I went back and they did a diagnostic mamo and ultra sound then got the news.... wow how life has changed..my thoughts are with you!   Your surgery is tomorrow good luck