DX just changed to Stage 3 Grade 3 today

catwood

HI ladies-I am post RMX 2 weeks and went in for my first med onco visit. She upgraded my situation to Stage 3 and a Grade 3. I feel like I am at square one again-She went into a calculator and came up with a number of 66% cure rate for me for 10 years. My husband and dearest friend were devastated. I had know this info going in based upon my dabbling on the net, but was not looking forward to having the number confirmed. Starting chemo August 4th with 4 rounds A/C and 4 rounds Taxol. Trying to get my mind into a positive mindset and having major difficulties. Just called my doc to ask for anti-depressants. 

KorynH

I send giant cyber hugs to you! I was also grade 3, (st. 2) and it was discovered after my surgery that I had more tumors than they had originially thought as well. Try not to get your head burried in the numbers/odds game. It can become very overwhelming and try to remember that all of those "other" women are not you. Stay positive and surround yourself with only positive people and thoughts during your treatment. You're going to need it. Depression and anxiety are very very common. I was on an anti anxiety drug through treatment until last December when I quit, thinking I was ready. I had been done with my main chemo for 6 months and was finishing up Herceptin. Now, 7 months later I am back on them. It is a constant struggle but you have to do what helps you function day in and day out. Many women here take them. I just couldn't stop crying all the time and had started to feel myself withdrawing from life in general.  I am hoping it is just temporary. Our family is going through a lot of changes right now and this too shall pass. And it will pass for you too. Support groups are a great place to get help emotionally. Also the hotline at Network Of Strength <---click words is a place you can call anytime 24/7 and talk to a survivor with loads of training and experience.  Take a look at some of the chemo boards here for suggestions on hope to cope but there are also lots of ideas on the network of strength web site under support (hunt around on the tabs). Best of luck to you and hang in there!

Bugs

Oh Catwood, what a sucky day, eh?  Same thing happened to me.  I started out this whole journey being told that the mammo shows "only DCIS" (even though I felt a lump).  Then the core biopsy showed "some" IDC.  Imagine my shock when pathology after MX showed 3+ nodes and an 8.5cm tumor-grade 3. 

Those number your onc gave you...I think they may be BEFORE any chemo/radiation.  Take things one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time.  Koryn is right...find the chemo forum for some great tips on how to deal with the side effects of chemo.

Come here often...we get it.  Our stage 3 forum is full of fantastic women who are here to help you.  Some are new, some are just done with treatment and some are well past treatment and here to tell you that THERE IS HOPE!

Bugs

pupfoster1

Hi Catwood,

I am sorry to hear about the change in your status, but try to remember YOU ARE NOT A STATISTIC!!!!  And there are so many new things you can do to "up" that percentage.  Of course diet, exercise are huge, but also look into daily aspirin (make sure if you decide on that to use coated---I found out the hard way), relaxation, meditation, just have an open mind.  

It's a roller coaster ride that's for sure, but you can do it.  Whatever we can do to help you through we'll be here for you.

Take care,

Sharon

caaclark

Hi Catwood,

I understand your feelings!  When I went into surgery we thought stage II but after pathology came back I had 6+nodes.  Tumor was small-only 1.6cm but I had dcis in 1/4 of my breast.

Your pathology sounds a lot like mine.  Check out the link below.  I found this study during my treatment and read it almost every day.  The 66% sounds low to me compared to what I have heard/read.  Lots of stage III women go on to be ok after treatment is over.  One of the good things about being stage III is that the docs are aggressive with us. 

It is overwhelming at first but you will be ok.  I found that once treatment started I felt much better psychologically.  I also tried to only listen to the good stories.  It took me a while but eventually I would stop people if they were telling me something negative.   I even cut some friends off (they never knew I was doing that) until treatment was over.  They would say scary stuff to me and some even cried whenever they saw me walking across the parking lot with my children (ages 4, 6 and 8 at the time.) 

And, the other women are correct...you are not a statistic and the women on the stage III forum really, really understand and get it.

http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/25a522.htm

lkc

Hi catwood,

I am sorry you are joining us , but don't despair. I was initially devasted with my stage IIIC dx .

(i di go on anti-depressants, which helped me tremendously).

anyhow, I DO know that the stats are not reflective of current txs available. try to resist the " net" unfortunately most " out there" is oudated and will scare you ( as it did me)

There are so many of us out there doing great. I  am " out 5 + yrs and back to " me" You will be too.( I try to come back and give support when I can)

Take good care of yourself at this time., surround yourself with only positive supportive people.

come here often for accurate info and great support. it's not easy , but doable.

Take Care!

jdootoo

Catwood,

 I looked up your stats on CancerMath.net and the number change significantly with treatment, with a number for you closer to 81%. I know that statistics don't allways mean much, but I hope this information will be comforting to you.

One love, Jackie

Pure

yeah that is not your stat. Your closer to 80% and that is without zometa. Zometa doesn't play a role in any of the stats so with zometa your closer to 86%.

lorrhaw

Catwood, I am sorry to hear your news.  Please remember that NO ONE can tell us how long we have.  All of us are different and we all respond differently to treatments, etc.  Also, they are constantly coming up with new treatments so we never know when a new treatment will come out that may impact our cancer.  I am Stage IV and the stats on that are pretty overwhelming but I don't let them get to me.  I am being treated at MD Anderson and they are "going for a cure" so I am going along on that ride with them!

Chemo will most likely turn out to be not nearly as bad as you may fear.  I was petrified but went through 6 rounds of FAC and was able to keep the side effects to a minimum by staying on top of the anti-nauesea meds and following the advice given on "tips on getting through chemotherapy" here on the forum.

I wish you well.

Pure

Dont forget aspirin and exercise-then your down intothe sinle digits. Nope not coming back!

DiDel

Catwood I am so sorry you have to deal with all this. I started to post this yesterday then someone called and it deleted so I am reposting.

I went through sorta the same thing, I went into surgery thinking I was stage 1 grade 1, apparently that was wrong. After going over my final pathology 3 mos later I discovered I am stage 2 grade 2, I haven't changed my diagnosis in my signature cause Im a little in denial myself. The reality is stages 1 2 & 3 are very curable and a lot of those studies are old. I know how hard it is to stay positive and upbeat but unfortunately you must. I bought CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BREAST CANCER SURVIVORS SOUL  and I love it. It has lots of postivie stories and quotes that will make you smile and LOL. Once you have more information and make all your treatment decisions you will find a sort of peace in everything and realize you just have to barrel through it and before you know it you will be on the other side!! I have concluded that 2010 is NOT my year and I am just sitting this one out. You need to just take time for yourself to get well, it will be a difficult journey at times but YOU CAN DO THIS!! Everyone here is cheering you on!!!

Go kick some cancer a$$!!!!!

Diane

LibraryJenn

Hi catwood.  I feel for you!  I can honestly say that the women that I've found on here have been instrumental in my healing.  I am, unlike you, getting chemo first.  I am half way done, and am more scared about surgery!  We all have our fears, and it is important to acknowledge them.  Please know that chemo is totally doable.  I shaved my head about a week and a half in, and it was just in time.  It gave me control over the situation - I lost my hair on my own terms!  So far, I do get nausea, but only about 4 days out of 21, which I am able to live with.  I get a bit of mouth pain, but it's more just annoying than debilitating.  I just finished with AC and will be beginning Taxotere in August.  My advice is to join a group of women who are starting chemo the same time as you - it is great to have friendly ears and someone to turn to for advice that isn't in a doctor's office.  I really like what Diane posted - that 2010 is just not her year - mine neither!  But I hope to be around for many more, and to watch my 2 year old son grow up, and maybe even have the rest of the kids that my husband I planned on having!  Who knows?  Good luck and kick the pants off of cancer's a$$!