August 2010 Mastectomy

Pawprint

CheriD,,,I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I can't believe you have to go back into surgery again.. I will be sending hugs to you.

lago

I would check with your sugeon but for those looking for exercise after surgery:

http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/MoreInformation/exercises-after-breast-surgery 

and

http://www.imaginis.com/breast-health/lymphedema-2
I'm meeting with my PS tomorrow. He might give me exercise info then. If I do get something I will share it. Again he may not give it to me till after surgery and when he thinks I'm ready to do stuff.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good luck CherylQ. Hope you checked this out:

Shopping/packing/to-do list for surgery + recovery
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91/topic/699896?page=7#idx_181

taranebraska

Hi all.  Glad to hear from everyone, whether it's a good day or bad, makes me feel like we're all on the same floor at a hospital recovering together.

I must have a seroma on my right side, too.  I first thought it was just an afternoon thing, the sloshing, because really, I got tired of staring at myself in the mirror and investigating every little thing that seemed abnormal, so now I just don't look.  But it hasn't been going away in the mornings like I thought it would.  I have a velcro tube top from my lumpectomy last summer, maybe I should start wearing that instead of hanging out in the breeze in loose clothes like I've been doing.

I got my chemo port in yesterday, so my left arm that was working so well is not again.  I'll go gripe about that on the chemo board. 

About DHs, mine has been great although he isn't being very nice to my mom and sister, and likes to complain to me about it.  He's working on being nicer, but gees.  I won't go back and find exactly who wrote about being single and wanting to be wrapped up in nice strong arms right now, but, I just told my DH last night I wish I could snuggle against him like the few nights right before surgery, but I can't!  Everything is still too a little touchy.  He is surprised at himself for not minding what I look like now.  He helped cut off all the surgery and drainage bandages, and helped me wash my hair in the shower the first 3 times.

But chemo will be something different.  I am happy to hear from those who sailed right through it!

Carole66

Well I just got back from my appt with my breast surgeon. The pathologhy report came back abnormal and I need to go back for surgery Sept 15th for a left axillary lumphnode dissection. Oh joy. More surgeries. I only had one drain out of 3 come out today. Just the one was a relief and hopefully getting the other 2 out on Friday.

I have had plans to take a trip to OCean City MD for months now Sep9-12 to meet up with friends coming in from all over and as far as California and hell if I will cancel it so that's why I scheduled my surgery afterwards. I need to have some fun in order to get through all of the crappy stuff. Bring on the Margaritas.

lago

Sorry Carole hang in there. Have a margarita  on me. I love tequila

RobinW

Hi Ladies,

I'm new here.  My surgery is not in August, but very soon after. (Sept 3rd)  Great way to spend my holiday weekend, right ?   I have been reading your posts and am very thankful for some of the information.  I am 34 and found out that I have BC and am also positive for the BRCA1 gene.  Although nobody wants to hear this news, I have been dealing with it rather well.  I decided that I am going to go with a BMX with immediate reconstruction. I have been VERY positive about the whole situation.  After all, I will be getting perkier boobs out of the deal. ; )     As my surgery date approaches, I am getting scared, stressed, and cranky !!  I don't want to feel this way.  Any suggestions for keeping these tears away ?

lago

Sorry to see you here Robin. I too am not upset about loosing the boobs…and mine are already pretty perky. That was part of the problem. Cancer can hide in dense tissue and also makes a wonderful enviroment for it to grow in. Be interesting if they can make me perkier ones

My surgery date is Tuesday. I'm not in panic mode. I just want it over with already. I feel I've waited so long. I do feel though that working out everyday has helped me big time. I feel so much better afterwards. I hate working out but I feel so awesome when I'm done that I keep it up. Give it a try.

1 more thing. You are allowed to cry. I don't cry as much but I do get teary eyed mostly when I worry about my mom, husband and dad dealilng with this. I try as hard as possible to change my thoughts when this happens or go for a walk.

RobinW

Thanks Lago, I don't always "allow" myself to cry, but I guess I really need to in this situation.  I just want to keep it away while i'm working, or hanging out with my son.

I agree with you on the working out thing.  I love to work out, and it's a great stress relief.  I didn't want to go to work today because I was emotional, but the weather is great and I thought it would be a fantastic morning for a run !  If only there was more time in the day.

Although I love my boobs the way they are, I have completely accepted the fact that they need to go.  It's just not worth the risk.   I am VERY ready to just get this over with. The waiting game is so difficult ! Good luck on Tuesday !!

Anne068

Robin, I didn't cry either. I was Mrs. Super Positive. But that's what I always do. I'm PERFECT in a crisis! I'm the Go-To person, on top of it all. That's my job.

Then the second it's over, I fall apart. I guess that's where I am now. Not really falling apart *quite yet* but relaxing just enough to let some out.

But let me tell you. This is one time, I think it's okay to break down.  Really, we can cry!  I have good days and bad days, and I'm trying to let myself just "be whatever I am today".  They say tears are good. Not only are they therapeutic and relieve stress, they also release toxins. So you HAVE to cry! It's medically necessary!

I cried an ocean yesterday (and thank you everyone who listened to me whine!) but today is a good day! 

And it's okay for us to experience this rollercoaster of emotions!  (((hugs)))

Anne068

The Dr. Called.. The results for my P4502D6 are "Positive-intermediate metabolizer to tamoxifin". Which they assured me is "Good, it means you will benefit from Tamoxifin".

 I should have the results from the Oncotype Dx sometime next week.. mid week?  And the results from the BRCA in about 2 weeks.

Off to research this whole "intermediate metabolizer" stuff!

Ciao!

smurfiep

Anne - How ironic...I had a a great day yesterday and today is BAD. I've cried twice.

Anne068

You can vent here Smurfie! We are here for you!

 ((((((BIG GENTLE HUGS))))))))

lago

Smurfiep you can have bad days. You only cried twice. Hon that seems fine and normal to me. You need to get it out. As strong as you may be lets face it this battle is tough. Crying is allowed!

Sending more ((((hugs))))

lago

BTW my PS today said I was only getting 2 myPods (drains). BS said 4… but it's the PS that puts them in so it looks like only 2. Must be because not only am I small but small boobs too. Not a lot of stuff is being removed guess means less to drain.

CheriD

brokendreams...Thank you for the hugs The surgery went well and I'm home resting. A little sore but glad to have the Hematoma taken care of! You ladies are in my prayers!!

bubbalu

Taranebraska:  I'm new on this thread as I had my LMX July 8 and am now in radiation for 33 tx.  Did the chemo first as I am triple negative.  I won't say that you will said through chemo, but who knows perhaps you will, but I will say that it is doeable and tolerable.  Take it a day, week at a time and press on to the end.  I had 4 x AC and 4 x Taxotere.  They are different for everyone and they had different SE's than each other.  They have really good drugs for nausea (I had none) just couldn't stand cooking smells or fragrances, used non-scented everything.  Didn't have any mouth sores, thank goodness and with the AC the biggest hurdle for me was the 'mac truck' feeling after day 3.  WBC's bottomed out but I got Neulasta for that.

Taxotere is a different fellow!  It gave me slight neuropathy in toes, fingers, bad fingernails (but I didn't loose any) and a lot of fatigue and some ankle edema.  All this will pass in time.  WBC's remained good. 

The bottom line is that the chemo was  97% effective and in this fight against a monster I was very happy with that. 

You will find a lot of support here on this site............hang in there and feel what you feel.  Cry when you need to, I had many meltdowns and also many positive days.  The staffs at the centers are your lifeline now so ask questions and take their help.  Luck to you...............

bubbalu

Taranebraska:  I'm new on this thread as I had my LMX July 8 and am now in radiation for 33 tx.  Did the chemo first as I am triple negative.  I won't say that you will sail through chemo, but who knows perhaps you will, but I will say that it is doeable and tolerable.  Take it a day, week at a time and press on to the end.  I had 4 x AC and 4 x Taxotere.  They are different for everyone and they had different SE's than each other.  They have really good drugs for nausea (I had none) just couldn't stand cooking smells or fragrances, used non-scented everything.  Didn't have any mouth sores, thank goodness and with the AC the biggest hurdle for me was the 'mac truck' feeling after day 3.  WBC's bottomed out but I got Neulasta for that.

Taxotere is a different fellow!  It gave me slight neuropathy in toes, fingers, bad fingernails (but I didn't loose any) and a lot of fatigue and some ankle edema.  All this will pass in time.  WBC's remained good. 

The bottom line is that the chemo was  97% effective and in this fight against a monster I was very happy with that. 

You will find a lot of support here on this site............hang in there and feel what you feel.  Cry when you need to, I had many meltdowns and also many positive days.  The staffs at the centers are your lifeline now so ask questions and take their help.  Luck to you...............

bubbalu

Taranebraska:  I'm new on this thread as I had my LMX July 8 and am now in radiation for 33 tx.  Did the chemo first as I am triple negative.  I won't say that you will said through chemo, but who knows perhaps you will, but I will say that it is doeable and tolerable.  Take it a day, week at a time and press on to the end.  I had 4 x AC and 4 x Taxotere.  They are different for everyone and they had different SE's than each other.  They have really good drugs for nausea (I had none) just couldn't stand cooking smells or fragrances, used non-scented everything.  Didn't have any mouth sores, thank goodness and with the AC the biggest hurdle for me was the 'mac truck' feeling after day 3.  WBC's bottomed out but I got Neulasta for that.

Taxotere is a different fellow!  It gave me slight neuropathy in toes, fingers, bad fingernails (but I didn't loose any) and a lot of fatigue and some ankle edema.  All this will pass in time.  WBC's remained good. 

The bottom line is that the chemo was  97% effective and in this fight against a monster I was very happy with that. 

You will find a lot of support here on this site............hang in there and feel what you feel.  Cry when you need to, I had many meltdowns and also many positive days.  The staffs at the centers are your lifeline now so ask questions and take their help.  Luck to you...............

smurfiep

Okay...here it goes. It's been three weeks today since my BMX.I was feeling GREAT yesterday but have not sleeping well because my back is killing me (I have some back problems and sleeping on my back or sitting up is making it so much worse). Can't sleep on my sides. So..l am tired and cranky and achy today. The infection on my left is not getting worse but not going away completely so PS is putting me on a second antibiotic (in addition to the first). I am going to go back to taking Vicodin before bed tonite...it should help me sleep and hopefully get me on the road to fully healing. Just bumming. Thanks so much for the hugs...I just today got the "Gentle Hugs" reference...since the BMX, I have not been able to get a bear hug from my kids or hubby...sniff, sniff.  What am I complaining about??? My DX is good, I won't need chemo, and for this I am so grateful... but I just want the soreness and swelling (and infection) to go away!!! 

Smurfie 

Paula1231

Smurfie, Anne, Lago, Robin, Tara, Carole, Brokendreams and anyone I may have missed.  Huggs (gentle) and good positive vibes to you all.  I have just finished all the posts and thankfully I can type with two hands now.  You are all so brave and my heart is as full as my eyes.  We all need to cry daily.  It is healing and lets the grief out.  I bought a really nice sports bra today and for the first time my chest is not itchy or too tight.  I cried like a crazy person in the dressing room when I saw the long stitches.  The sales lady at the Walmart was so nice to me.  Of course I look like a car crash victim.  My arm is purple from the elbow down and I had a sling on the left side.

My PS says compression is essential to keep the seroma away.  I am worried for the braless ones.  Please put a soft front closure sports bra on and wear it day and night.  I will see my BS tomorrow at 0815 for the pathology news.  I lit a candle and pray for a good DX.  I am not hurting as much today as yesterday and I am still really emotional.  Take good care everyone, I am waiting to be off the oxy so I can have that medical margarita.  Cheers!   

Marly

Yup, Paula 1231, you're right: there's a definite relief from shedding a few (or more) tears. 

Congratulations on feeling NOT ITCHY and NOT TIGHT! I can't wait to feel that way again.  I think a lot of this frustration is from feeling ALMOST okay, but not okay ENOUGH. A year from now I won't even be able to remember how I feel right now.  

Funny how the fright about cancer and relief about having it gone subsides into pure frustration with the healing process! 

Pawprint

Yea...got my drains out today. The doc said I can shower tomorrow. I go back to PS in 2 weeks for my first fill to my tissue expanders. As soon as I don't need to take vicodin pain medication so much then I can drive my car. I want to go back to work next week. I have been doing some work by phone sessions. I see the oncologist next Tuesday to determine if I will need chemo or radiation since one of my nodes taken out during my BMX surgery showed positive for cancer. I am post menopausal so the doc started me on Arimidex a week ago. I've been reading your posts and sending hugs and well wishes to all of you.

Anne068

Ohh  Smurfie! I'm with ya on the can't get comfortable and sleep well!!

 Hang in There! It gets better (at least that's what people keep saying, and they better not be lyin, or I'm forming a posse and tracking them down for LYIN to us!!! )

 ((((((GENTLE GIANT HUGS)))))

RobinLM

Hi RobinW - I'm Robin too nice to meet you

I'm having BMX on 31st with immediate recon. I too am very anxious, last night didn't sleep too well. Haven't cried yet either, I'm wondering if I'll fall apart after my Op.....Strange isn't it, women just think that they have to be stoical and get on with everything.....

Lago - I hope I only get two, I'm going to be quite small too  they are the most scarey thing - pain aside

Smurfie, I've got a bit of a back problem too, normally sleep on my sides..... very uncomfy being on my back or propped up

Carol, so sorry to hear you got another Op coming - enjoy your time with pals - Ocean City sounds a fine place to take your mid off things where is MD?!

Lovely sunshine here in Aberdeen, hope I'm going to have a good day. Hope all you other ladies are having a good day too

Robinxx

LindaNZ

Hi All

So many posts I can identify with. The up and down days, trying not to do too much too soon, not being able to sleep on my side, the waiting, .... I thought I was getting my pathology back on monday - but they didn't have it (Lab technician strike). Today I thought was getting my drain out - nope I've still got it!! I got the wrong day for the appointment!! I've now had some of the pathology back (very strong ER+/PR+) but I don't have the HER2 and won't get it for another week. The oncology appointment a week after that so still a fortnight to wait before I know about chemo or not. SIGH. I think there are a couple of you in the same boat - waiting for your oncotype dx scores to know whether you are doing chemo or not? With all this practice do you think we'll all be much better at being patient in say a year from now?!

lago

OMG Linda… a strike. Wow that's aweful.

ER+/PR+ isn't as bad as you think. They have drugs for that. They put you on stuff for 5 years to keep the cancer at bay.

Robin: I just got all my perscriptions yesterday for after surgery/when I get home. I doubt you are going to feel any of those back issues. Some of the drugs are pain killers but one of them is a muscle relaxer. Might help with the back till you can sleep on the side. 

and remember that the drains might be more PITA than actually painful for most of us. It sounds like if there is an infection there is an issue or if they pull the wrong way.

taranebraska

Random thoughts on a beautiful morning, about whether cancer is a message to us ...

I'm struggling with how wonderful all you ladies are, patient and kind, not wanting to cry when others can see, and yet so many BC industry advocates want us to think that we'll learn lessons from having BC and become "better" people. 

We're great the way we are.  One woman told me that BC was just a nudge to remind me I need to be more selfish, take much better care of myself and put myself first rather than absolutely everyone/thing else.  While I don't have children, I've had a life of non-profit work, currrently helping those chronically homeless apply and receive social security benefits.  

But yet, I thought the more you give, the more your receive.  I'm concluding each phase of our lives are different, and a life-threatening illness is just one of them, one that soooo many people face whether it's cancer, or heart trouble, or diabetes.  So, I am going to stop wondering why, and just be, and incorporate the trauma and pain back into my life in order to help others even more.

Maybe I'm just trying to talk myself into the fact I don't need the pressure to be perfect right now, that if I run screaming from the chemo room that will be okay, they'll talk me back in ...

I wish you all a GOOD day today, cancer free, we all deserve it, and then some.  (((((gently)))))))

tara

Nbb1032

A few seconds ago Nbb1032 wrote:



I haven't been posting as much as usual - I went back to work 3-4 hours a day and when I come home I am so beat I have to go to bed for awhile and I'm useless for the rest of the day. Marly, I too wish that someone would MAKE me stay home.



Smurfie - I actually took one of my narcotic pain pills yesterday (like you) after I had been off them for the last 10 days!. The 3 week mark seems to be a plateau where I don't get worse and I don't get any better. It is so discouraging isn't it? I too am so tired of this process. And I got a good DX so shouldn't be bitching about anything. Strangely though I haven't cried (except that one time when I got my path back) which worries me. I am waiting for the shoe to drop.



I see a lot of you have seromas and I am curious about when your drains were pulled. Johns Hopkins is very strict and won't pull them unless they put out less than 30cc for 24 hours. At first I was upset with this rule but now I am glad since I seem to be ok in that department.



As for the bra thing - At the hospital they put me in a special mastectomy bra and said to KEEP in on until the drains come out because it would help compress the fluid. My drains are out but I wear it (with padding) when I go out and it seems to make me feel better. Also, I have a bra by "barely there" that works really well. - Not too constricting but just enough.



Just want to say, it is so helpful and uplifting to read all of your posts and I wish I could respond to each and every one of you individually - It is just that with working I am so TIRED all the time.

Hugs

Nancy

Anne068

Tara... you said exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. It made me cry, but in a good way.

Thank you.

Pawprint

Thank you Tara...beautifully said.