Having the hardest time

GracieM2007

I'm going through such a hard time right now.  I feel like BC has just sucked the emotion out of me.  I have very little to give to my family, husband or friends.  I have no emotion other than anger and sadness.  I don't even care about my faith any more, could care less if I go to church or not, and no ambition to do anything, and I mean anything.  I"ve developed several other health issues, Lymphocytic Colitis, Fibro, (which I had before but is flaring), and other stuff.  I just see no future at all for me, I have no outlook.  I see days and days of getting up at about 9 or 10 or 8, and going to bed at 1 or 2, and getting what little good sleep I can get, taking care of my grandkids, which in itself is turning into a chore.  I have no happiness, no future.  I need some help.  Husband had massive heart attack two years ago, and can't do hardly anything any more.  We went through his 401K to pay bills whilel waiting for his disability, so no money to go anywhere, and when I say no money, I mean we are barely scraping by.  My mom is elderly and I'm buying her prescriptions because she's in such bad shape financially. She lives with my brother, who is an alcoholic, who has started drinking again, so no help there, as he's probably going to end up losing his job.  We are helping them out with several hundred dollars a month just for them to scrape by. 

Life sucks. 

ebann

Gracie;

I am sorry you are having to face this & feel so alone. Depression w/ no hope is a very difficult thing to face. I feel for you & your faith. My faith was hard to deal w/ in a time I know I really needed to  be turning to God. Over time & anti-depressants I started to change how I felt. Have you discussed this w/ your Dr? I finally did could not take it anymore. I to am helping my daughter & her husband financially. She lost her job & is due to have her baby in August. I was married to an alcoholic. I feel for your mother. That is not easy to try & care for all these people when you need to be caring for yourself as well. Maybe your husband can help a little more than what he has been doing. I know he had a heart attack but many people can resume many things again just need to take it at a moderate pace. I think it would be good if you found a support system.  A group maybe at the church, many breast cancer groups. I have one as well. I have signed up for Bible studies at the church even if I do not feel like going at times I go any way's. Many times I have had to force myself. Please talk w/ your Dr.  and get some help. Open the word and read Psalms and hear David's cry to the Lord & Praise him. I truly do wish you the best & will add you to my prayers.

Blessings, Elizabeth

Charley

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time Gracie! I don't know if I have any words of wisdom ... I have also gone through periods of depression as well. I take my antideprressants faithfully because I know, from getting off of them in the past, eventually within usually about a year, I will be back to the point where I need to take them again. No happiness, nothing seems to matter ... crying at the drop of a hat. I don't know if antidepressants are something that you are open to.  I feel that for me, I will probably always take them. 

Take a walk everyday and get some sunshine.Your life is worth something and it sounds like there are alot of people in your life that feel that way too! I'm praying that the sun will come out for you soon!

((hugs)) Charley

She

Sending you a {{{HUG}}} Gracie.  It's so hard to 'do' for others when you're trying to get through the day yourself, but you're doig it!  In spite of your own health issues and how you feel emotionally, you're still giving every day.  What a wonderful wife, mother, daughter and grandmother you are!  Please think about asking your doctor for some help.  Maybe anti-depressants will get you back on track emotionally.  My dear you are very valuable, not only to your family, but to your friends here.  On the days when life sucks, please know you have friends who care.  All the best, She

janicealive

I feel for you.  My situation is the opposite.  No kids (by choice); no grandkids.  Live in a different tha my sister. My boyfriend works in a different county. So I am alone with my dog 5 days a week. Due to taking Arimidex, my femur fractured badly. Now I also take Fosamax, which adds to the joint/bone/muscle pain of Arimidex.  At any rate, I am not allowed to walk my dog, drive, go on my boyfriend's sailboat, etc for many months.  First I raced around the backyard playing keep away with my Aussie.  Now we wheelchair/walk to the mailbox 2 blocks away or to a nearby field. I tend my roses from the wheelchair.  It's not much, but it helps alot just to get outside for a few minutes, see the sun, see my garden.  My dog has been very well behaved since I have been in the wheelchair (she wasn't before). She seems to know I really need her now. Can you take just a few minutes a day for yourself?

GracieM2007

My dad's last surviving brother died today of lung cancer.  And I can't even cry.  Not a single tear.  My emotions are so screwed up.

nancyluvspink

Hey Gracie - You are not alone.  I have been dealing with breast cancer since 2000.  My life has never returned to normal.  I will admit that after the first breast cancer, I tried to get on with my life.  I felt proud that I had beat it.  But 6 years later, it returned in the other breast.  This time it destroyed me.  I haven't been able to work since.  I am in the process of losing my house.  My husband left in 2005, and owes me over $10,000 in child support. I know, life does suck.  I have had surgeries in 2000, 2006,, 2007, 2008, 2009....and I am praying that I will not have to have any surgery this year.  That's my goal.  I hope I make it.  All these years of recovering and dealing with lymphadema, fibromyalgia, depression, now I am having serious shoulder problems.  It never ends.  This is our life,  all we can do is do our best to deal with it and take one day at a time.  Hang in there.  Luv Nancy