Stupidest thing you have said to someone else

CoolBreeze

Stupidest thing you have said to someone else

CoolBreeze

Sometimes it goes both ways, and we make others uncomfortable.

I was at a mixer, where I didn't know anybody.  It was for network of local bloggers.    I assumed (wrongly) that most people knew the topic of my blog (breast cancer with some humor).  We wore nametags with our blog name on it.

First, let me set the scene and tell you that I'm very thin.  I always have been, even as a baby.  People have been commenting on my ectomorphic body type for as long as I can remember. 

Like many, I am uncomfortable meeting new people, but that's what I was there to do.  There was one blogger I wanted to meet who was in a group of other woman.  I went up to them, said hello and introduced myself.  One of the women said, "Oh, we noticed you, were were talking about how tiny you are."

I jokingly said, "Oh, that's because I have cancer."

Well, their faces fell.  They looked shocked and horrifed.  I know they felt they made a huge mistake in mentioning it, and thought I was so skinny because I was ill.  I apologized and backtracked, "Oh, I'm fine, I was just kidding.  Really, I've always been thin." but they quickly found an excuse and backed away.

I realized that a) they hadn't done their homework about my topic,  and b) cancer isn't funny, especially to strangers.

Do you have a story where you made somebody uncomfortable when you didn't mean to?   

leaf

I don't know if this was the stupidest thing I've ever done, but it just shows my lack of empathy.  This happened a few years before I started having breast issues, before I started having health issues.

I work in a hospital as a pharmacist. A ward clerk said she had just come back to work after medical leave.   I asked her what it was for.  She shrugged and said its private.  I was puzzled, but didn't push.  (Obviously I should not have asked; I should have only told her I hoped she was well.)

A few years later,  I had a confidentiality breach before my breast excision (after core biopsy showed LCIS.)  A co-worker said the radiology clerk who took my mammograms (essentially a male stranger to me) asked her to tell me the night before my excision, "Good luck on your surgery,and Tommy recommends that you have bilateral mastectomies because he had a co-worker with LCIS and that's what she did."  I replied, "Well, that takes audacity."

I now understand patient confidentiality. Especially for employees who work at the place they get their healthcare.

SandyAust

Oh yes I have had one of those "Would the ground please open up and SWALLOW ME NOW!" moments.

I have a feeling it was in my "hair growing back" stage about five years ago. I was at a BodyShop at home make-up and skincare party with some Mums from my kids school and a couple of ladies I didn't know.  Anyway....

I notice a pair of crutches leaning against the wall and I ask loudly in a bright and cheery voice "Oh who's hobbling?" expecting a story about a twisted ankle or whatever. Anyway I watched another lady cringe as she said"they're mine". The sales lady brightly asked "what did you do?".  I aready knew I shouldn't have opened my big stupid mouth.  Anyway the poor lady answered uncomfortably "I have MS". 

I felt like an absolute heel, and I hung my head in shame for embarrassing this poor woman by placing her in the spotlight like that.  I really wanted to apologise but I didn't becase I thought I would be doing that to make myself better, not her so I took my medicine and stayed silent. 

After just finishing chemo I really should have known better.

Most other days I am actually quite nice. LOL.

Sandy

debbie6122

I remember a few years back when i was a waitress for my familys fine dining restraunt i made 2 stupid remarks in one night, i had a single man on a table and i brought his food and a steak knife to him, he said could you place it over here (meaning the left side) i said cheerfully, Oh we have a lefty here huh? At the same time as i was saying it i realized he didnt have a right arm!! I never even noticed before when i went to the table- I wanted to cry, ( actually i did) LOL

Later that eveing I went to seat a man and his young daughter, i walked up and said hi how are you this evening? Table for 2> He said in a very hoarse whisper, yes, I thought he was being cute and funny, i said back to him in the same voice he used , oh ok, and i laughed, it wasnt untill i sat him at the table he had a hole in his throat, i walked in the kitchen and cryed, my mom said, debbie, what did you say now? I would never ever make fun of some one intentinally, so i was so imbarressed and ashemed, boy i hate thinking about it now LOL

debbie6122

Ok have one more to share, more of a stupid thing than remark, but im on a roll now, I went to a table to take an order, reached in my apron to grab my pen, asked my table of 8 if they were ready to order, they all started laughing, i realized i had pulled out my tampon instead of a pen - bet no one beats my stupidity LOL!

cathmg

This thread is funny!  We were at a restaurant with another couple, and a couple that they knew walked over to say Hi. After introductions, the woman I had just met commented on my purple "relay for life "  T shirt and asked if I was going to walking in the event. I said, not this year, but I got the purple shirt because I had cancer, and that's what you have to do to get the purple T-much harder than say, basketball camp. They both got funny looks on their faces-sort of shocked that I'd be joking about C. 

Jelson

Debbie6122-

i think being a waitress is an incredibly difficult job - you really have to turn on the personality and connect with your customers quickly. You have many more opportunities to put your foot in your mouth than people in other situations/professions. Don't be hard on yourself!

Julie E

NatsFan

Debbie - no fair - I spit out my drink when I read about the tampon/pen incident I was laughing so hard.    Sounds like you were a wonderful waitress with a great personality.  As Julie says, you just had more opportunities than most of us to say something awkward - we've all done it as this thread shows. 

lvtwoqlt

I did it a couple of months ago. We had a new woman at our support group meeting in March (with a wig on), and when I saw her a couple of weeks later at the wig bank, I didn't recognize her she was wearing a scarf. We were talking about the various support groups that meet there and I invited her to the support group meeting 2 weeks later, she said I was there last month. I opened my big mouth and said Oh! I didn't recognize you without your hair.  Insert foot up to kneecap and try to swallow.

Sheila

debbie6122

I know, my friend that i worked with kept a log of all the funny dumb things i did at work, after we got off work we would go upstairs to our loungs and have a few drinks and laugh our heads off,

LoL sheila!