Sad for my Mother

ProvCityGirl86

I don't really know what I'm doing on here... I guess just need a place to vent. My mother was diagnosed recently, and I am not taking it well. She had a lumpectomy and was planning on just getting radiation. Suddenly, it has jumped to stage 3 (don't even know what that means) and will be getting chemo every 2 weeks for the next 6 months. She will loser her hair, and I don't think I will be able to handle that visual.

 I'm 24, and living about 8 hours away from my family. I'm not taking the news well at all. I'm not scared about her dying-- I know this won't beat her. I'm just very sad... literally can't stop crying. Mom is handling it much better than I am, and so is the rest of my family. I haven't really seen or heard anyone get as upset as me....

Not sure what I'm trying to get out of this post... I'm just so sick of crying to my friends. I've always been a very positive and fun girl, and to be the girl that cries sob stories every time I go out, makes me uncomfortable. Its so hard because the most random things will trigger tears for me and make me think of Mom. I went out with friend for drinks the other night, and before I knew it... I was hysterically crying and changing the tone of the evening. Its pretty bad... 

Again, not sure what I'm expecting out of this. I have never joined a discussion board before... I'm just not sure how to handle "The C-word." 

wyldblumusic

ProvCityGirl,

I am very sorry that this is happening to your mother and you.  I can only hope that you're still on the board; I wish that I would have seen this sooner.

I understand the sadness.  My mother also had breast cancer; she is doing well today.  It is a very difficult time for the entire family.  Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, and everything else.  This is not easy, but over time, I think that it gets better.

It's wonderful that your mother has such a caring daughter.  I hope that you find some peace soon.

goldengirl12

Your reaction for your mom sounds a lot like my reaction for my sister. She was diagnosed 4 months ago at 31, I am 29. She has Stage IV Breast Cancer. I cried all the time, anything would trigger it and I became "Debby Downer" at all social events.  I still have days where I just want to be on the internet and learn about breast cancer, cry and feel bad for her. I hate the visual of my sister losing her hair or getting sick. I think during these past few months I have tried really hard to just see her as my sister, not my sister with breast cancer. It may be easier for me because I see her on a regular basis and see her doing well still. That gives me hope that she will stay well and beat it. I too did not know how to cope with the "C" word and I can not believe it is apart of my sisters life now and mine. I try to go to treatment with her and I would encourage you to go with your mom if you can. I think it's okay for us to deal with cancer however we need to, it's a scary thing, it's a sad thing and it really does effect the whole family when a loved one is diagnosed. 

ProvCityGirl86

Thank you both for responding an for your kind words! Mom starts chemo next week and I am trying to take a week off work soon to visit her and help out around the house. Trying to stay positive... It definitely helps to get on here and connect with others who are going through the same experience. I hope that your mother and sister are doing well. Good luck with everything!

ProvGirl86

Dear wyldblumusic and goldengirl12, 

Well, it's been a few years and I almost forgot I was ever on this forum. Recently, I was approached by cancer support group called "Share" to attend a local event and it reminded me of this post. I thought I'd check in. 

Rereading your words just brought me to tears and I wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond to me- someone you've never met and have no ties to. It may not seem big, but to me it was- and still is- a significant act of genuine kindness.

As for my mom- she is in full remission and though she continues to get check-ups, but we're hopeful that she has kicked cancer to the curb. (Good riddance!)

I hope you and your families are doing well. Thank you again for the support. It really meant a lot to me. 

Best,

Jess