Fearful of every new twitch or twang....

Rachel1

I was diagnosed 4 wks ago with IDC stage 2 grade 3, 2/6 nodes +, ER+

In the last few wks. every little bit of "body noise" has me scared to death. I've had pelvic pain -- sort of like ovarian pain and I fear OV cancer. Then I think perhaps it's my intestines or colon (I have no idea where intestines run) and fear cancer of either of those.  I have also dramatically changed my diet since the diagnosis. I eat wild salmon, but have not eaten any other meats. I do lots of organic vegetables and fruits now, nuts and lots of curry, onions and garlic. So this new diet could also be making me feels things. Then, of course, mix in a "little stress" for good measure.  I had surgery last Friday and my throat is still sore -- somehow I manage to obsess about lung cancer. If my leg hurts, it's bone cancer.  Ugh...what do I do? I'm worried about telling the dr. for fear they'll label me a hypochondriac.   Did any of you experience this after a diagnosis?? What do I do?

Rachel 

Anonymous

Hi Rachell,

I think a lot of people will testify that every little pain has them wondering, and youre certainly "excused"  since youre only 4 weeks out from dx.  This is a hard road this cancer thing. It takes time to get to grips with things yet once youre dx'd nothing is ever the same, but you learn to live with it. It does get better, but no-ones pain and suffering should be minimized. We are all different and have our different strengths and weaknesses. There is far too much of the medical fraternity labelling, or be ready to label, people as hypochondriacs. That REALLY annoys me, and to tell the truth, I think a lot of people are FORCED to be ready to be defensive about it.  Is it any wonder people are on edge about this??? . 

 With the spicey foods and most definitely with things like onions and garlic, my advice is you need to be careful to "introduce" these foods to your system slowly. Give yourself time to get used to them. They most certainly can upset your system and cause all sorts of problems if you overdo it. Veges should be pretty safe, but even those that we are not used to can cause things like wind which can be exceedingly painful. 

All the best but Im sorry you are having to face all this.

Muscial

lisasinglem

I was diagnosed only a week ago, and I'm still waiting for an MRI to see the extent of the cancer.

But, I certainly am finding the same thing - every little gas pain, every little thing makes me think that the cancer has spread.  I was reading in the Just Diagnosed forum that several people are having the same thoughts.

The part about it that makes me laugh at myself is that, of course, I have absolutely no pain at all or discomfort or anything in my left breast, which is where the cancer IS.

ToriGirl

Rachel...

I sooo understand what you are feeling. I am still "pre" surgery and have every feeling you are having plus some.  It's so crazy and I hate feeling this way, but can't help it. 

I am currently waiting to have a breast MRI to see where we stand...

It does make me feel a bit better to know that many women feel this way in the beginning, but it doesn't take the fear away...

I've had issues for years with my lower back (due to a fall 16 years ago) so now when I have pain (after diagnosis) I freak out...I've also suffered from ovarian cysts, so when I get a pain in my abdomen, I freak out...I freak out a lot lately...it's just exhausting... 

I can't help but think because I "obsess" over these things so much that I may just be "thinking" I'm having all these issues when really I'm not...who knows?

Many prayers to you...

Tori

Anonymous

Rachel, I think that almost everyone worries about every little twinge and cough when they are first diagnosed. I know I sure did!

Cancer doesn't spontaneously get better, any pain cause by cancer will be consistent.  If you have a consistent issue that sticks around for at least two weeks, make sure you inform your doctors about it, otherwise, try to relax. 

You say you have dramatically changed your diet, which could easily explain all of the twinges you have been feeling.  You need to give your insides time to adjust to the higher fiber, healthier way you are eating now.  I bet that once you get used to the new diet, things like gas pains will calm down significantly.

It probably took a year before I could cough and not have my first thought be "could this be the start of spread to the lungs?"  I found that I was able to dismiss the thought much more quickly as time went on, but it did take awhile before the thought didn't pop up every time.

What you are experiencing is absolutely normal, and it will get better.

AmyIsStrong

I have never been one to pay much attention to little twinges in my body. But after dx, I definitely worried about every little thing I felt. I was sure that cancer was everywhere. It was very unusual for me to have that experience - very unlike the 'usual' me.

Once treatment starts, you have enough to think about with REAL side effects that you know where they are coming from (chemo/rads). So it takes your mind off it. And then by the time that was over, I was so glad to feel better, I just went forward and those worries didnt' come back.

In fact, when I read your post, I thought "Oh yeah, I used to do that in the beginning."

Now I saw your post on another thread about your positive nodes and how terrified you are - and I completely understand that.

But I am going to tell you this:  As I wrote to you before, i was a total wreck in the beginning. Then about 2 months after dx, my daughter got engaged. It was May 09. She asked me if she set the wedding for June, 2010, if I would be all done with everything and healthy to participate. I checked with my online sisters (here) to be sure I would, and that I would have HAIR again, and they assured me that I would.

So I went through surgery/chemo/rads/herceptin/port in/port out and finished everything in May of this year.

Slowly but surely the hair came back, the strength came back, my health came back, I came back.  This past weekend was the wedding.  I wore a fancy dress with lots of 'bling', had my hair/makeup done, looked and felt BEAUTIFUL.  It was a whole weekend event - and I kept up with everyone without even a THOUGHT about cancer or fatigue or anything.  The wedding was lovely - I stayed till the very end, felt on top of the world.  

Rachel - I made it through. I'm not the same as before. But I am strong and healthy and happy.
You WILL come through this. You live in the BEST COUNTRY and the BEST TIME to have to fight this disease. There are LOTS of drugs and treatments and they will give you the best of everything. It won't be easy all the time, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I am living proof.

PM me if you want to talk about this more. You can do this. 

Amy

thegoodfight

Amy,

I just want to thank you for writing such thoughtful post to Rachel.  This is how we get through this, especially with the help of each other.  Sometimes a post will make me really reflect on my life since dx.  I actually had a different emotional experience.  I had become a grandma for the first time on May 21,  2008 and found my lump on July 1st.  I went from the highest high to the lowest low.  And now here I am almost two years later.  My grandson celebrated his second birthday and he will become a big brother in September.  My youngest daughter got engaged and will marry in the spring or summer of 2011.  My point is life does go on................and we get to enjoy so many happy things.

Yes, I worry about a recurrance, but I push it away and say I AM OKAY TODAY!!!!   I am looking forward to my two year cancerversary and my 35 year wedding anniversary..............Life is good

Caren

Rachel1

Dear Amy,

Thank you for your response. Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.  I bet you looked absolutely beautiful.  It is good to hear there is life after bc and you didn't even think about it all weekend.

Love,

Rachel 

DanielleSurvivorSince03-09

I just came across this discussion board after searching (finally found the search function  ) and couldn't relate more!  I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma March 2009 and just finished treatment March 2010.  Ever since then, I am worried every little pain is cancer, or something else.  I broke my pinky toe and asked my oncologist if that could mean bone mets.  He just laughed and said he never heard of bone mets to the pinky toe.  I have a tingling in my back and was referred to a neurologist because I feared MS (runs in both side of my family).  The MRI report was annoying because it said they couldn't rule it out but didn't think it was it, so it's just unexplained.  I feel random pains in my pelvic area and think uterine cancer caused from the Tamoxifen.  I'm trying not to be a hypochondriac but I went misdiagnosed for 8 months and was told my cancer was nothing to worry about by two different doctors before finally being diagnosed with stage 2b grade 3 IDC with lymph node involvement.  I read a book recently called Cancer is a Bitch.  It's about a young girl diagnosed with DCIS and the book centers around her worrying.  It was really a good book and unfortunately very relatable.