Why did this happen?

goldengirl12

Hello, my sister was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer 4 months ago. She is 30. We have no family history of cancer and today we just got the results back from the BRCA test, they were negative. I am relieved at the results, but it just makes me have to ask, how did this happen? Why did this happen? Am I still at an increased risk of getting it? I am 29. I think all the pissed off feelings and disbelief just came on again because there is no way of knowing WHY this happened. 

RegulJ

I think everyone on this site has felt this way at one point or another. I ask this of myself almost everyday.

Did I drink water out of the garden hose too much? Have I eaten too many steaks, or is it my love of peanut butter? Was it my job?  Did I walk past someone who needed my help and this is my punishment???

I hate to say: It is what it is. It sucks. It has taken me a good 8 months to get here and I take one day and one hurdle at a time. My family also had/has NO history all my grandparents were immigrants from Europe so no help there.

Both my husband and I were in shock for a long time, if it were one of my sister's I would be feeling the same way you do. What have they done to deserve this???????

dsengplute

Why?  That question is just torture and I hope for you and your sister that you can let it go, ask a new question ... what's next maybe?  My BFF, the picture of health and happiness was diagnosed with Stage IV 1 Met to bone in January, completely out of the blue, 49 years old.  I'm guessing my "in shock" reaction is automatically "what do we do now?"  At least with this perspective we take action which always feels better than worry without action.  I'm choosing to believe in our future. I know that she has the best care, the strongest determination and a lot of love coming her way so together we'll live with this chronic condition for decades to come.  Perhaps you could be tested for the cancer gene and that would give you some peace.  I hope you're able to find a way to relieve your worry and enjoy each day with your sister.  I am sure cherishing every conversation, every minute together with my friend and I continue to look toward our future retirement when we're old ladies together at the video poker machines. (some would say we already are   Donna