trying to find peace

laurakay

After several doctors have said I don't need rads, and shouldn't have them, one "softly" recommended it--although when I asked, she said she didn't know if she would do it if she were me.  Soooo...I have given myself two weeks to make peace with this;  do it, or not do it.  I've had a bmx, and am taking raloxifene.  My margins were clean, but <1mm, but not multi-focal.  I had a 1mm microinvasion, but it was far from the margins and all agree it's not a factor in a rad decision.  My grade was 2 with necrosis.  I'm 48.  I have a 14 year old son who needs me a lot...My mother died of bc, but I don't have the gene.

I have been so happy with my recon, and would not have had a bmx if I'd thought the recon would be ruined.  But the cosmetics mean nothing.  Still, I've had three docs who are passionate about my not needing rads, and one who "softly" recommended it, but thought it would not be the wrong decision not to do it.  She thinks the studies don't reveal much, but since some people have recurrences, it seems more likely that the ones with my particulars might.  However, rads only cuts this chance in half--but half of what, who knows?

Well, any and all advice is welcome, or just letting others know what's happening with me this way helps a lot.  Please, just don't scare me!  I know all about how horrible it would be to have a recurrence, but I'm just not feeling convinced I can avoid that with radiation, nor do I even know if I'll feel better, since knowing myself I'll just focus on the other half of the 50% I could fall into...

Bleh.  Sorry to whine.  Next stop needs to be a psychologist, no matter what, me thinks... Why can't they just give us a blood test so they know if there's any cancer left????  It's ALWAYS going to be anybody's guess from now on???

dlb823

laurakay, which doctors are advising you either way?  In the end, it's really the opinion of the rad onc that you should weigh most heavily.  As my rad onc said about one of my oncs recommending against rads, would I have taken a rad onc's opinion about chemo?

Also, you say you had <1mm margins.  Were any of those against the chest wall?  That would be more concerning to me than facing another way.

And lastly, I think you need to get that "cut in half" quantified.  Does that drop your chances of a local recurrence from 10 in 100 to 5 (a fairly significant half)?  Or is it more like cutting 2 in 100 to 1, which is the also half, but quite a different picture?  Your rad onc should be able to give you some absolute stats vs. the 50% figure, which is relative.

So sorry you have to worry about this now.  I had a similar situation, opted to do rads and sailed through them.  But I know how stressful it is trying to make a decision, especially if your reconstruction is finished.    Deanna