Chemo June 2010

Latte

Sherry, praying for you that you get the biopsy soon and it is not cancer!

i'm starting rads on Sunday - i thought it may be postponed because my incision hasn't closed up yet (i'm 6 weeks after surgery) but the rads onc doesn't want to wait any longerand he says it will heal during rads, just more slowly.

 hope all those who are celebrating Christmas have a good one!

TMarina

My dear Sherry--you will be in my prayers!   God is good.  Hopefully it's just from your injury and the doc is being extra cautious.  Hang in there girl--we will all be sending thoughts and prayers your way!

Latte--On a Sunday?  Oh--that's right--I forget you are in Israel!  Will you get 2 days off each week like we do here?  It's good to get started, and hopefully you will heal ok!

PearlGirl

My dear Sherry...I am so sorry that your news is so frightening and that you have to endure yet another set-back along this cancer road. I so wish I lived close by so that we could sit, talk and share the moments in a more personal manner than through this blog. But we have overcome distance for months now, all of us developing friendships that I honestly think will last in our hearts forever. This cancer journey is so unpredictable and such a lonesome, rocky road. Just know that we are here with you, not able to take the pain or fear away, but to share the fight with you, whatever the outcome.

I posted on another thread some weeks ago how a friend described to me the 'Slinky' theory of life, comparing life's journey too the actions of the toy coil that was so popular years ago. You move along with the daily ups and downs...like a Slinky bouncing gently back and forth.  When a crisis arises, you put your head down and march forward,  pulling with all your might, to get over the hurdle.  And when that immediate crisis has passed, and you can stop to take a breather, the Slinky bounces back and hits you in the butt!  I think that with this news your slinky tumbled down a long flight of stairs, too.

bc itself (remember, I won't give it a capital status in my life) has already changed everything. No matter what happens now none of us will ever be the same. The slinky got one or two coils stretched out during the crisis mode and it will always be different.

I am here for you day or night. You can contact me with a personal message and I'll give you my cell phone number if you need to talk, not type. I will always try to help you stay positive, even when things might seem overwhelmingly dark.  Attitude can't cure everything, but it can help you breathe easier and stay in a hopeful and helpful mind space. You'll need positive energy to keep moving forward.

I'm sure your doctor can get the biopsy done in the next week and at least the payment won't be an issue. It seems criminal that we have to worry about the cost and means of payment for these tests and services when faced with a cancer diagnosis. It's not like we want to spend money on scans and biopsies and lab tests and drugs.

Sherry, I send you huge hugs and much love. You will be prominent in my prayers tonight and I will ask my friends who have prayer groups and chains to do the same. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. And please remember that the doctor isn't certain what he sees and it may still be just residual damage from your auto accident. Fingers crossed.

Keep pulling that slinky.   Bon

TMarina

toni--good to hear from you!  Sounds like things are going well!  I am soooo happy to be done with chemo and rads!  I'm enjoying each and every day--smiling all the time!

janny-LOVE your pic!  Hope you are felling better today, and can enjoy the holidays.  Time with family is such a blessing!

JFV--Love that song too!  My husband has one on his computer by Jeff Foxworthy--something about the redneck 12 days of Christmas--so funny!  How is work going?  I know the kids get pretty revved up this time of year!  Enjoy your break!

Dmom--I'll have to look for that Hillbilly cd!

Gin2ca--hope you have enough energy for the holidays!  And hope your mom stays out of trouble!

grneyd5600

Sherry - my thoughts and prayers are with you.  I am so hopeful that this is NOT cancer in the spine.  As you face this please know that we are all praying and sending good thoughts your way. 

Anonymous

Hi,

 I haven't posted for ever, I have three kids at home, 10, 13,17 and my level of energy is not very high these days so I usually just read and it helps me to feel a bit connected. 

Sherry,  I'm sending healing energies and good thoughts your way, hopefully it will be just a nasty scare. 

I'm half way in rads, a bit sore and very tired but doing ok other than that looking forward to the end of it, I can't believe it has been almost a year since my dx. I got into a clinical trial with a drug called Metformin to hopefully reduce the chances of a recurrence.

 Great Holidays to everybody andhope that we all have a great, healthy 2011 !

 Daniela

DesignerMom

sherry-  Yours just seems to be the never-ending journey!  I am keeping you in my prayers.  Let's hope your doctor is just being extra cautious and that his tests will show it is from your old injury. I just don't have words!

toni30

Sherry -  I am praying for you and sending good karma your way. Toni

JFV

Sherry-  Prayers for you that it is just the old injury showing up.  With cancer in our lives fear is never far away! 

TMarina-  Haven't heard the Jeff Foxworthy song.  But, we have some real "Red Neck" tendencies in our house and love his comedy. The kids at work were out of their heads with excitement.  There was lots of silliness and acting out all week.   But, today was all about fun there were movies and sing alongs and parties.  I work with 1st graders so they still believe Santa is real and have very serious conversations debating which Mall Santa is the real one.  Very funny.  We actually have off for 11 days starting tomorrow.  I am very happy about that.  I am very, very tired.

Latte

danielaes - metformin is a drug for diabetes as far as I know. I'd be interested in hearing how the study goes and what they expect for bc...

tmarina - yep, sunday is a regular day here (and there's no Christmas holidays either...), but I get fridays and saturdays off instead...

Anonymous

Hi Latte

Yes, it is a drug used in  type two diabetes for ever, (that is the good part because it is already known as a  very safe drug with not many side effects), it looks that the effect on the reduction on the insulin also inhibits tumor growth, here is an article about it: 

www.reuters.com/article/iDUSTRE63K4EI20100421

In the study that I got in will participate close to 4000 women all over North America. I saw many women in this board that are in already.

Daniela

Latte

thanks daniela - it looks interesting!

TMarina

Just wanted to stop in and wish everyone a very merry Christmas!!  I hope everyone is able to spend time with family, and is feeling well enough to enjoy the festivities!!

My 3 DDs, 2 SILs, and grandson were all over here today.  It was the day the 3 girls could get together for cookie making (mostly frosting and decorating!).  Had a lot of noise, laughter, singing, and baby babbling!  I am exhausted, but feeling so blessed to be able to be here to enjoy all of it!

I'm blessed to have all of you here at bco too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

flopsy

Merry Christmas to all my friends at BCO!!!!!

Sherry,  I pray you will get that biopsy done and it will be B9.  You have been through enough and need some good news.   It really sounds like the injury would show up on the scan as a positive area of unknown origin(which would be old trauma).  We see this a lot in the hospital where I work.  All they can tell you is that it was a hot spot but have no idea why.  Most likely will come back fine and you will have worried for nothing.  It is a shame that we will be  worried about every ache and pain but that is how it is.  Good thoughts and hugs to you.  Stay positive!!!!!!!!!

Tmarina ,  souns like you had a wonderful day with cookies, family, and laughter.  Enjoy!!!

I told my nephew tonight to enjoy his youth because it goes before you realize it and you can't get it back.  He is in college in Alabama and we only get to see him twice a year but it is always great when we do.  He and my youngest daughter are great friends and keep up with each other by texting and facebooking. 

We had one family get together Christmas Eve with about 75 members from all over South Carolina.   Lots of food and catching up on every one. 

My brother and his family came down and got Julia out of assisted living for the holidays.  This morning she got up and put some bread in the oven and left it and went back to the bedroom and forgot it.  My nephew woke up and rescued the bread and turned the oven off when it was burnt and smoking.  They had to open the doors and air out the house with 20 degree weather.  Mom is still living up to her nickname of Smokey.  I am so glad that they were all okay and it did not set her house on fire.  Her home is over 100 years old and it would Burn Baby Burn.  She has really been keeping them on their toes.  

My DD and SIL came for lunch today and then we went over to my Mom's for a Christmas dinner with all my siblings and their families.  There were about 35 of us there but were still missing about 15.  As you can see we have a large family and it is still growing with 7 children under the age of 6.  We have one set of triplet boys that are just turning 4 and they are a joy to behold and cute as they can be.

Bon,  Good to here from you also.

Have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!!!!!   Luv ya, Ginny

flopsy

Well girls,  even SC is covered in snow today.  We woke up this morning to a white day after Christmas.  LET IT SNOW< LET IT SNOW>LET IT SNOW      Just hope we do not lose power because we are not prepared here in the south like those in areas that normally have snow.  First thing that happens here is the stores are all out of BREAD< MILK>and EGGS.  Kind of crazy-huh!!!!!

My dog is scared of the snow and won't go out to potty so I guess she might pop.  Her name is Moochie and she is a pekingese that is older that decided to live at our house a year ago on Thanksgiving.   My daughter says it was because we are such a nice family.   I say she smelled the ham I was cooking, but either way she seems here to stay because no one has claimed her.   She really is adorable.   I call her my chemo dog because she stayed with me on all those days of misery and made me feel less alone.  We have never had an inside dog but she was an excellent one to learn on for she is the best behaved dog I have ever seen.   Never bothers anything or barks in the house(even at burglars-HAHA).  As long as you feed her and give her some loving she is a happy girl--WOW-kind of like me!!!!!!!!!!

JFV

Hello ladies!  The day after Christmas is the one I like best.  I "play" with my gifts and hang out in my PJs and eat leftovers.  Nice.

Saw a lot of family and friends in the last two days.  Not as many and gin2ca though.  Will see more as the week continues.  A sister is supposed to fly in tomorrow from Iowa.  We have started getting snow for what they say will be a big blizzard.  I wonder if there flight is cancelled.

I had some moments of real fear and sadness at Christmas although I hid it from my family.  I think the stress of the holidays and lack of sleep combined with feeling the joy of family love made me fear cancer returning and taking me away before my time.  Nothing to do about it other than feel the feelings and get on with life.

PearlGirl

Happy Boxing Day, my friends. The winds here are gusting to over 40mph and the temp is dropping fast. Forecast if for 27F tonight...and that's here on the east coast of south central Florida!  We have fire warnings because it's been so dry and windy, freeze warnings, and wind chill warnings!  Imagine that! I hope you all can snuggle in today, enjoy the holiday lights and eat the leftover goodies.

Christmas skipped my house because I have been miserably ill with a cold/flu for days now. Probably picked it up when I was in the hospital for 12 hours for that dang heart cath (which, by the way, came out fine but did show that my ejection fraction is down to 50%).  I was supposed to be the one entertaining and cooking dinner...but it just wasn't meant to be. Thought I could postpone it for today but am not up to par yet and no need to rush it. Everyone had a fine day yesterday without the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.  I just enjoyed the tree lights and watched bad movies all day. Am so congested that I can't even smell the Vicks Vaporub! Nor can I taste the cough syrup. I figure I will know when I'm better when my sense of smell returns.

I haven't been posting much since I've been feeling so rotten and didn't have much positive energy to spare. But I've read the posts that come in and it's so nice to be in touch with you all. Looks like most all had a lovely Christmas, except for Latte. But her present is rads, right. I keep trying to tell myself that all the money I had to spend over and above what my insurance paid was a gift to myself.

And Ginny, you keep me entertained with tales of Julia and your family. It must be so incredible to have a large and loving family to gather with for holidays and special occasions. I am an only child of an only child and my only blood related cousin died this August. So I read about everyone's family get-togethers and smile. Sounds like joyful chaos.

Tina, I'm glad you have some time off and that your kids and grandkids have given you such delight.

And Joan, I'm happy you had a good time with family yesterday and hope your sister isn't delayed in getting to you today. But if it's a nasty day outside, you're safe and warm inside. Aren't you glad for those leftover Christmas cookies?  Joan, I think most all of us had a bit of a shudder over the last few days, grateful that we are here at Christmastime and frightened about the future. I don't think it would be normal otherwise. It's like PTSD...the stress after the trauma will take a while to dissipate. Hope you can just concentrate on looking forward and going into 2011 with HOPE.

And DMom, well, you know I love you, but that hillbilly stuff was dreadful!

A 'shout out' to Carolyn, Danielas, Toni...and to Kitty and Chey who I hope are off enjoying the holidays to the fullest. And to Sherry...I hope you've had some pain relief, renewed strength, and enjoyment of the season. Please know that we think of you and are praying the biopsy is fast and negative.

If I skipped anyone, my sincere apologies. It's the dextromethorphan in the cough syrup and lack of oxygen!. Love and hugs to you all.  Bon

DesignerMom

Bon-  Ahhh jeez.  Sorry you are down with a bug.  Glad you could clear your schedule and just rest.  Yeah, that's the whole point to Hillbilly Holiday.  It's so bad, it's good!  I think your high winds are hitting us now....only we are getting up to 24 inches of snow too, a big blizzard! 

We are all cozy and warm.  A friend is visiting.  Lots of good meals and cookies.  We are loving looking out at the park and the accumulating snow.  Everything is muffled and quiet.  New York City is transformed into a quiet, winter wonderland. Merry Christmas, all my friends!

toni30

Hi Ladies.  Hi Bon - I had a nice Christmas, pretty quiet. Then visited my sister and her family today.  Now we have a blizzard in the Northeast, so I'm happy to be back home.  I feel pretty good. The fatigue from the rads has gone, since we skipped Friday.  Back to the zapping tomorrow.  Hope everyone is snuggled in and has a great night! 

grneyd5600

Bon, hope you are feeling better soon.  I will keep you in my prayers. 

Dmom- hope you stay warm in the blizzard.  Seems so odd that us folks in OH aren't under weather advisory and you guys over in the East are under seize. Be safe and warm!

Sherry9316

Nice to read about everyone's Christmas.  Ours was a little quiet this year - just our four kids and the two granddaughters.  But it turned out better than I thought it would.  I actually made cookies - then had to take a nap!  Husband picked up barbecue for the rest of the meal.

It looks like I won't be getting the biopsy this week.  Will probably be the first or second week of January.  RATS!  Oh well - it's out of my hands.  I talked to my onc's office today and they are waiting to hear from the neurologist who will do the biopsy.

My grandmother was admitted to the hospital last night in serious condition.  Her lungs are filling up with fluid.  They did a CT scan while she was in the emergency room and also discovered she has a tumor the size of a grapefruit on her liver which they say is cancer.  Because of her age (97), they say they will not operate or do anything for the cancer.  But they are giving her antibiotics and they have called in hospice.  I know she's old, but she was in good health up until she fell in September and broke her hip.  Seems like she's gone downhill from there.  I have always known it would be very sad whenever Grandma passed on.  I am very close to her - I am also her first grandchild!  All ofmy kids are very close to her as well.  The sad part is that I can't go see her because of the risk of infection.  She is coughing up a bunch of stuff.  I told my family that I would put on a mask and then go see her.  This is really hard.  If I didn't have cancer myself, I would be staying at the hospital.

Bon - I know it was hard on you to not have Christmas because you were sick.  I hope you're better soon. 

kittycat

Bon - I hope you are feeling better.  I had a touch of a cold.  I got some antibiotics and actually took them as scheduled.  My cold seems to have gone away.  I hope yours does too - soon!  (((hugs))) to you and hope you can enjoy New Years.

Sherry - my heart sank when I read your post about the spine.  I am really really hopeful that it turns out to be negative for cancer.  You deserve some good news (we all do)!!!

I'm going to speak on behalf of the local Susan G Komen office tomorrow.  I am really excited about this.  I signed up for their Speaker's Bureau about a year ago, but couldn't do anything since I ironically got bc again.  I'm talking at a local blind center, so it's an additional challenge.  The provided me with some keychains that have examples of lump sizes, so the people could feel them.  I am soft spoken so hopefully I can speak loud enough for people to hear without sounding like I'm shouting! 

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas and has a happy new year too.  Let's hope 2011 is a cancer free year for all of us (and the years after that too)!

kittycat

Sherry, I'm also sad to hear about your grandma. I hope she is feeling okay despite the cancer. 

DesignerMom

sherry-  Oh, my friend, you are keeping me busy with prayers.  Now grandma is being added too.  I'm praying that she stays comfortable during these last days.  I know she will be surrounded by love.  What a wonderful, long adventure she has had.  Imagine all the things she has seen since 1913!  I hope your doctors can help you figure out a way to safely spend time with her.  Heck!  Go get an industrial respirator mask!  I used to wear one while soldering jewelry.  Nothing gets through those filters.

Kitty-  So good to hear from you.  Don't you worry one bit about speaking for the Komen foundation.  I know you will be brilliant!  As for speaking to blind people, remember that all their other senses are actually more keen.  They say when you lose one sense, like sight, hearing and smell and other things become stronger.  So you can probably speak in your lovely soft spoken voice and they will hear just fine.

Okay, 20 inches of snow and 40 MPH winds, now I am starting to get cabin fever.  My friend who has been visiting since last Thursday can't get out of NYC till Wednesday.  We are all bumping around in this apartment going a bit stir crazy.  If this darn wind calms down I think I'll haul everyone to a museum tomorrow.

grneyd5600

Sherry - I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.  Tell them you want to wear a mask and suit and go see her!  You need it and she does too.  It never seems to matter their age - grandmothers are special!  Hang in there.  Your road has been so bumpy lately.  I wish I could take some of the challenges and struggles for you.  Hang in there my friend..

Kitty - cool about the speaking!  I would love to do something like that.  I wonder how I can find my local speaker's board?  I bet you will be awesome!  You will knock their socks off.  Go girl!

PearlGirl

Sherry...I am hoping that today finds both you and your dear grandmother a bit improved. Whatever it takes, suit of armour, gas mask, whatever...go be with your grandmother as long and as often as you can. I was raised with my Grandmother and she is so important to me still, even though she passed away in 1999. I miss her everyday and think of her as I go about all my daily activities. She taught me how to iron, how to peel potatoes, even how to jump rope. There will never be anyone to replace her in my life and I know that is how you feel about your grandmother, too. So go spend whatever time you can if you are feeling up to it. Her long, rich life has been blessed with your presence...and your's with her's.

Kitty...how great that you get to speak on bc awareness and turn your lemons into lemonade. (I still think tossing the lemons back and demanding chocolate is a great idea, but most people like lemonade, too). You are a very inspiring young woman, Kitty. But of course you didn't need me to tell you that.

So DMom has cabin fever....have you used your soundproof room for a primal scream this past weekend? I know that NYC has been hit hard but the photos I've seen of Central Park are just gorgeous. As long as you can stay indoors, you're all set.

I know Joan got snowed in and I'll bet a few others of you did, too. Here in Florida we just whine about the extreme cold. You all think we are whoosies, but wait until you want a tomato or strawberry or good citrus. It will all be from someplace other than Florida this next year. Our oranges froze solid. Only thing they are good for now is juice but they have to hurry, and if there are too many for the juice plan to process, they will just rot. What a shame. Mother Nature certainly seems angry at us all right now.

I have bronchitis. Started Augmentin today. Pills are the biggest things I've ever seen. Makes calcium supplements look tiny.  Have another Herceptin IV tomorrow!  That's #10. Supposed to have at least another 7 to go after that, but don't know what will happen after next week. My insurance carrier is changing on 1/1/11 and I still have no word on the plan details or benefits or docs or anything. I hate this added stress.

Hope you are all doing fine and that we can get back to more regular 'chats' once the holidays are behind us. I miss you all and sincerely wish everyone a much brighter and healthier 2011!  XXOO

JFV

So good to hear from everyone!  Sherry God bless you and your Grandma!  What a sad time for you.  Glad you had strength to make cookies.  I am taking that as a sign of your improving health.

Kitty- You'll do great with your speech.  I am always so impressed when I remember you have fought the beast twice.

Grneyd-You're right about the flip flop in weather between us and Ohio.  Here on Long Island we have snow to our knees.  My sister was supposed to fly East from Iowa and instead rented a car and drove here because our airports are a mess.

Bon- So glad you are on an antibiotic.  Are you getting any sleep?  Hang in there with the Herceptin you are on a long road.  How are the side effects for that ? 

Dmom- I think we got the same amount of snow as you did.  I am sure you are a great hostess and your friend is feeling very comfortable with you.  Which museum will you go to ?  I hear that the parks department was hosting sledding events on the day of the blizzard.

Tomorrow I see extended family from my Mother's side.  My cousin who is 4 years younger than I has been struggling with macular degeneration all year.  His vision is much reduced.  He and I are the babies of the family and have been the "sick" ones.  We will toast each other for good health and good coping skills.

What is everyone planning for New Years.  We never do much of anything.  But, this year we are meeting my sister's new boyfriend and having a little party.  Don't know if I will be able to stay awake to midnight.  My energy is getting better everyday.  But, I do love my sleep!

How is everyone's hair growth.  Mine is still only a quater of an inch long and all grey.  I am getting more comfortable with how I look.  But, I still wake up thinking I have hair and get a little sad when I look in the mirrior.  Funny thing is I have never woken up thinking I still had my real boobs and gotten sad when I realized I have fakes.  I am sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with that!

DesignerMom

Everyone sounds great!  My houseguest is finally going home tomorrow.  I love her dearly, but you know the saying "Fish and houseguests get old after 3 days".....especially in a NYC apartment!  God bless my patient DH.   I look forward to getting back to our "normal" routine.  Didn't make it to the museum today, but did enjoy walking out in the gorgeous snow-laden NYC.  Heaven!

flopsy

Hi, Ladies,  Happy New Year to all,  I was so glad to see work end today.  We have been swamped with everyone trying to get their mammogram before the end of the year.  I have been so tired this week that I have not been online. 

Am going Monday to find out about my Blood Sugar and what we need to do about it.  Another joy of chemo SE. 

Sherry,  I am praying for you and your grandmother.   May you both get to spend a little time together and have peace.  It is hard to say goodbye to a loved one even though she has had such a long life.   She will always live in your heart.

Bon, Sorry to hear about your cold and bronchitis.  Adding you to the prayers for healing and peace also.

DMom,  I wish I had been there looking out over the park and watching the snow.  We had about 4 inches here last Sunday and it was beautiful but mostly melted by Monday midday.  I had to go to work Mon. but fortunately the roads were good here because we do not know how to handle the ice and snow here like you guys up North do.

Glad to hear everyone is settling in to some sort of normalcy as best we can.  Joan,  My hair is about 1 in long all over and very curly.  I think I look like a fuzzy Qtip because it is mostly gray.

I have been taking clothes back to stores that family got for Julia that did not fit or did not suit.  Mom still thinks she is a size 14 instead of an 18 so I have to cut the tags out so she will wear the new clothes.  She keeps telling me that she wears a 14.  Her closet is now full of mutilated clothestags that are 18's.   I had her trying on some things yesterday and she said, "Julia you are getting fat".  Then she started giggling like a mischievous child.  She is packing up every day thinking she is going home to stay and we have to tell her that isn't happening.  She is so sneaky and unpredictable that we would be worried to death about what she might be doing or getting into.  She listens to the caregivers where she is but thinks her children are trying to tell her what to do and she does not like that.

Hope all have a Happy New Year!!!!!!    Love and hugs all around, Ginny

Anonymous

Happy New Year!!  Hope we all have a 2011, in great health, full of laughs and love!!

 Daniela