The BEST things anyone said to/about you.

cathmg

Hello everyone,

I have read the "dumbest" things thread that anyone has said about/to you, and was very entertained by it! I had plenty of tactless and downright horrifying things said to me. That got me thinking-what were the best/most helpful things people said to me? I'll share some of mine, and hope others will share, too.

My nurse at the hospital after my mastectomy said (after I told her I was afraid I wouldn't live even five years), "You'll have more years that that!"

My onc said to me at my first consult, "I like working with people with breast cancer, because it can be cured." (I know, sort of unrealistic, but it gave me hope at the time.)

My plastic surgeon said, after I told him I was depressed after the whole ordeal, "Of course you are! Why wouldn't you be?" He was the first person who didn't make me feel crazy and wrong for having a clinical depression.

Best,

Catherine 

Susie123

I'm bringing dinner, what night can I bring? We had dinner every night for 3 weeks after my bmx. A couple of times people got their wires crossed and we had 2 dinners. We had tons of chocolate cakes. You know chocolate makes everything better! 

mbtlcsw01

I was at a Rays baseball game several weeks ago with my DH. We were buying a beer when someone who worked there walked up and said to the attendant, "You need to be sure to get her ID, she doesn't look old enough to buy this."  Mind you, I'm 56 years old and on the other  side of reconstruction.  This took me so by surprise I could have kissed the guy. 

MaineCoonKitty

A woman in my BC support group said "I can't believe that you didn't lose your hair".  The others agreed and they didn't believe that I was wearing a wig until I took it off to prove it.  I've had tons of other people tell me that they thought my wig was my own hair and didn't realize that I was wearing one until I mentioned it.  I honestly did not freak out at the thought of losing my hair, but knowing that the wig looked natural and becoming made me feel confident, since I work with the public.  I actually enjoyed the time that I was bald and found it very freeing - a time to experiment with my "look" and not get stuck in a rut with hair color or style.  Now that my own hair is growing back and I'll be able to go without the wig soon, I'm planning to keep the style and the color of the that wig because it looks so good on me.

Janeluvsdogs

oh... 

"A year from now, cancer will not be the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing at night."

lovemyfamilysomuch

My family didn't specifically "say" anything, but their love and support was shouted from the rooftops in their loving and caring actions and behaviors.  I am so blessed to have them.

mbtlcsw01

lovemyfamilysomuch:  You make me think about my dogs.  I have a female black labrador retriever about 3 years old and a 13 year old male chinese hairless crested.  They have been with me through my whole journey.  The lab is so much a pup but she knows when I'm not up to myself, like today after recon surgery yesterday.  She stays near me and her whole personality changes to watch over me.  It is that loivng action and behavior that speaks volumes to me and my DH.

dreaming

When I was diagnosed, my son was a Senior in High School, the day after I had a mastectomy, his school buddies came to give support, and they told me "Don't worry about anything, the most popular girls at school had mastectomies"

That not only made me laugh , but to think is better to be alive, even with one breast and this white lie was the best gift  given to me.

NatsFan

The best thing someone said to me was the first time I took off my wig and my dh saw me completely bald. He took his time, looked for a while, then said in all seriousness, "I never noticed before, but you have really cute ears!"  It was so wonderful of him to find something positive to say about my appearance at a time when I was so devastated.  It was a totally silly and nonsensical statement but it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.  As it turned out, I actually ended up ditching the wig and wearing just a baseball cap most of the time when I was bald, and I think a good part of that was he'd made me feel OK about not having any hair right from the get go.

Dreaming - love the statement about all the popular girls in high school having had mastectomies! Who knew?   Mary - I hear you about how our pets can get us through this. Susie - yes, that "I'm bringing over dinner" was good to hear too!

Abbey11

I said to my oncologist once that I didn't know how he did his job because it must be so sad to watch people die.  He responded by saying, "Well, I have mostly breast cancer patients and most of them live."  I thought it was so encouraging.

wyldblumusic

On the day that I started radiation, I had to be in the office in the morning.  When there was a break in the URGENT! meeting, I went to my office to check email and phone messages.  There were roses from my friends sitting on my desk.

No words needed.

cathmg

Dreaming-reading your post about the teens reminded me of a boy from our local high school who made me a healthy apple cake when I was diagnosed. His mom is a cancer survivor, and he uniquely knew what my two teens were going through. He was one of the very few peers who asked my 16 year old daughter how I was doing. He has a special place in my heart! Oh, he and my now 18 year old daughter are going to "hang out" this summer. I've got my fingers crossed for them!!

Catherine 

suemed8749

I've had many, many more kind and caring comments and acts than inconsiderate or stupid. I'm a high school teacher, and my seniors formed a Relay for Life team for me while I was undergoing chemo. And the first day I wore my wig, my kids were so complimentary and supportive. The teacher next door later told me that she went back into her room with tears in her eyes after watching them greet me so kindly.

I also remember when my onc's nurse practitioner scheduled a bone density test for me, and told me, "You're going to be around for a long, long time and you're going to need strong bones." I love that woman! 

ruthbru

Two things that come to my mind right away are:

1. A friend of mine who knew I was going through treatment, but whom I hadn't seen since starting, commented when we were together at a reunion, "Well, at least you didn't lose your hair." (I had indeed lost my hair, was wearing a wig and was thrilled that it looked so natural!)

2. I worked throughout my treatments; a young co-worker whose dad had gone through cancer treatments, so knew what that entails, commented, "You are one tough lady."

Hattie

a seven year old told me, "I think you should try that medicine i saw on TV for bald men".

rogaine and chemo, i laughed long and hard. 

suemed8749

Great idea for a thread, Catherine! Look at all these heartwarming responses.

ruthbru

Here is another wig story; I had my hair shaved at my beauticians and came out of the shop wearing my new wig. That night I finally had to take it off and reveal my bald head to my DH.......I said rather tearfully, "Well, here's what I look like." He, trying to think of something nice to say, commented, "You look kind of cute.....you look like Granny Clampett." I looked at him in HORROR! He looked back in HORROR, realizing that was not something that would make me feel better at all.....and then we both burst into uncontrollable laughter. Sometimes laugher IS the best medicine!

in_cognito

When I told my co-workers I was diagnosed with BC one of them sent me an email that said this:

" The course of the treatment will never alter your image because your true beauty is underneath all that fades. "

I thought that was really sweet.

mbtlcsw01

I got a laptop during my time of chemo.  Went on facebook and found many old high school friends who I've not seen or conversed with in 30 some odd years.  Over a year later, we are still in contact and some plan to come stay with me this fall to go to the Bucs vs. NO Saints football game.  They sent me music cds and lots of encourangement.  One very good thing that came out of all this--reconnection with lots of old friends.

SandyAust

I love these stories, especially those caring teenage boys!! As the mother of two 10 year old boys I look forward to them being such lovely young men when they are teenagers.

I had two girlfriends, mums from my kids kindergarten, do some things for me that I will never forget. One lady just said she would be taking my boys for a play at her house every Friday afternoon.  She also dropped off meals of chicken soup, which I couldn't stomach given the chemo, but it was so nice to be loved.  One day on her way to work she dropped off flowers and a beautiful card at my doorstep and knocked at the door and then jumped back in her car.  She was backing out my drive when I bent down to pick up the flowers!

The other lady showed up my doorstep fielding a huge smile a bottle of freshly sqeazed orange juice, with a touch of ruby grapefruit.  She used the fruit from her own trees and she was so pleased with herself to be able to do that for me.  I had mentioned that I kept getting really dehydrated on chemo because I couldn't bear to drink because everything tasted so awful except orange juice.  It was so wonderful to have that juice.  It was such a small thing but 5.5 years later I still think about the kindness.

Speaking of my boys we have some great laughs at my expense and I hope noone is offended by this story.  Last night we were mucking around and one of my son's was getting hubby and I some icecream. We were joking about who was getting how much.  I said "well Mum will have a serve the size of my right boob and Dad can have some the size of my left boob" (my husband had previously dished up this son a VERY small serve and I had a left mastectomy).  My husband said something cheeky to my son about this and then I said "Or how about I go and get my left boob  out of the wardrobe and you can throw it at him".  We all just cracked up.

We probably sound crazy but it was very funny at the time...and you've got to laugh.

Take care,

Sandy

Sunshine99

Right after I was diagnosed, someone started leaving me a single flower together with a scripture almost every night.  All my friends denied doing it.  I was so touched that someone would sneak onto my porch at night and do this for me.

It was actually very humbling - it's easier for me to give than to receive.  Don't like to admit that I "need" anything!

ruthbru

How cool, Sunshine; a secret admirerer!!!

Leah58

My school colleagues bought me a Kindle so I wouldn't have to carry heavy books around at home or to my treatments.   They were so thoughtful.   I finally figured out how to use the Kindle, even with my chemo brain.

They also bought us meals on Tuesdays and Thursdays for several months.

Deborah51

Hi Catherine

I was so inspired to read your comments about what people have said to you about your cancer and it is so reassuring to hear that the nurse was positive and also the oncologist because I think we need some convincing (me most of the time) I just want to live for ever daft I know !!

Have great husband and kids and grandchildren and health was ok till I reached 58 still never mind am still her - must go now as am getting upset (perhaps that's what i need a good old cry)

Best wishes

Debs

Del11

I haven't had cancer (BRCA+), but while in the hospital for SGAP bmx/recon, a nurse (my favorite one) said to me as she was going off shift for the rest of my stay "It was an honor to care for you".   

amIdoneyet

So many nice things:

1. A former co-worker came and gave me a refresher course on crocheting before chemo,so I would have something to take up the time. Another co-worker had someone bake me a red velvet cake (my favorite). Yet another co-worker made me a breast cancer quilt (that she had the other workers put a message on and sign) and presented it to me at our Christmas get together!

2. My mom bought me a Sony Reader, I love to read, so I wouldn't have to carry around the numerous books I am always seen with!!  She also insisted that I move back home temporarily while undergoing chemo, so she could help my husband and I with the children!! At 32 and the only child, I will always be "her baby"!

3. Everyone tells me how brave, courageous and strong I am for working through chemo (as a pharmacy manager I worked 10 hour days and had 2 small kids at home (7 and 3 at time). Of course towards the end I had to decrease my hours.

It was just amazing how many people look up to you when you laugh in the face of adversity!! But I honestly didn't have a chance to scream, holler or complain.  I had enough other people doing it (that I had to calm down and tell it would be ok) from family, co-workers, doctors, nurses, etc who just kept saying I was too young and it wasn't fair.  I looked at it as no it's not fair but if not me then who? I had to stay positive and focused on my goal of fighting and beating this beast.  I refuse to let someone else raise my kids!!  My only choice is survival, because I LOVE LIFE....

God's blessings to all....

cd1234

I work at a police department. When I lost my hair about 25 cops shaved their heads. They told me they did not want me to feel self conscious at work. After I had my mastectomy, I made my husband take off the bandages. He looked at me and smiled, and said "you look pretty good babe!" I turned and looked in the mirror and passed out.