June 2010 Mastectomy

gingersfavorite1

awww,  thank you ladies!   Your comments and feedback made me smile  

I felt better today - just had a few blah days before that.    Maybe it's like someone running a marathon .... we all hit the wall at some point.    I'm nearly midway through my chemo treatments  (thankfully they're going faster now that they're weekly!)   and looking at rads after that.   I doubt if I can squeak it all in by the end of the year - though I would love to - and be done with it!      Well,  except for reconstruction which I am actually looking forward to - LOL 

Ducki

gunner I am so glad to hear that you are getting a lift on the other side.  I don't know anyone here yet that has had that and I am very nervous.  The PS described the procedure and I felt sick.  I got a letter from my insurance company yesterday saying that they agreed to pay for the suspension of the right breast.  Suspension?  And just where is my right breast going to be suspended from?  A light fixture?  A ceiling fan?   LOL

And I was told it would take about two weeks to recover. The PS said my exchange side shouldn't be too uncomfortable but I would be pretty sore on the "suspended" side.  I guess I am just tired of surgerys and feeling ick.  I know we all are.

The TE has been driving me crazy.  My Mx was on 7-1 and I had a few ouchy moments after fills, but that eased soon.  My exchange date is 10-5.  After reading all the posts, I am feeling that its too soon.   For the past 4 days I havent been able to sleep because of the pain in the TE side.   I do go to the PS for my pre op appt tomorrow.. I sure have LOTS of questions.

Happy BD GETTY..  Mine is next Monday   JOY I love the babys name too.  ROBIN thanks for missing me. The muscle spasms are normal but NOT fun.  They do ease up some.  Takes time  LAURIE I so understand the mood swings. I feel so disconnected from normal things. BIGDOG MOM It took me 3-4 days after a fill to feel good again. By that time it was time for another fill.  I do know !!  GINGER I feel fat and bloated and icky all the time. I can't even tell you that this will pass because I am going through it right now with you.

I am hoping I will have a better frame of mind when I get home from the PS tomorrow.  Big hugs to all of you.  Like I have always told my kids.  Things will get better.  Its just the time between NOW and THEN thats hard to get through.

stlcardsfan

Hi all,

Herceptin # 13 out of 17 now complete.

Another fill, I think my last, is next Tueday 9/28.

MOHS surgery for the skin cancer on my face is Wednesday 9/29. Sure hope the rocks don't get in the way.

Good new is no blood pressure meds for me. I have had at least 4 or 5 phone calls with cardio nurse and this seems to have been worked out. I typed up all my BP readings from treatments and from home and emailed it to her. It confirms the white lab coat effect. I go in for treatment - BP goes up. I go home, BP goes down and stays down.

I may not be posting much, but I am still reading all the updates.

I think my exchange might be in December. I am hoping to combo it with Port removal. My last Herceptin is 12/15, so I figured I have already had 3 procedures at one time, 2 at one time should be a piece of cake! Plus, it gets on this years insurance, and no co-pay! 

gunner

Hi:

Ducki u crack me up. I am a RN heard the lift is more painful than the replacement with the implant.

I am staying away from the nipple on the lift side interms of lift 2 routes taking the 2nd. LOL  I take pain pills for the pain. Ativain for the fills along with 800 mg iBuprofen.  I took a bath this am am am so uncomfortable with the way I look  it sucks.  I go back to work in Dec, a sub acute nursing home reading this great book called Women at Ground zero all about the women who helped out on 911. I actually feel like I have been to hell and back this is my 2nd taste of DCIS in Rt breast explains for the mastectomy.  I started tamoxifen a month ago have no sex life with hubby and the expanders are just creepy that explains it. Are u having a lift?  I go in for a fill next Wed have to drive 4 hrs. love that drive.  Well Good night all Elizabeth 

joystars

Ginger, Go Stephanie Go!
You rock girl, glad to know you feel better now...Sometimes it feels like a lot, huh? Kinda can say I know what you mean since I'm also waiting for my reconstruction next year AND starting chemo by the end of this one.... oh well, one step at a time!  *breathe in, breathe out*

Ducki, good luck with your PS today! And hopefully you manage to get some sleep. And yes, things will get better.... big hugs back!

Ducki

TA DA !!  It was delivered.  My new PINK garbage can.  I know its sad that I get excited over a garbage can, but it made my day   It was delivered yesterday afternoon.

stlcardsfan I will be holding you close in my heart on the 29th.  I get upset with every lump, bump, mark, scratch, etc.  I am so paranoid some days. I am sure it will turn out fine.  You sure have a ton of us rooting for you.

gunner Yes.. I will be having a lift on the right side.  I had to sign a zillion papers today and the PS went over the procedure again.  I didn't realize he would be going through the original surgery site on the exchange.  Not that I will feel it probably, but just emotional hits me as icky. I may not feel it, but looking at the scar which is still not healed is painful mentally.   Does that make sense?  I don't fully understand why he has to cut and lift my nipple on my right side.  That bothers me.  Oh well. Surgery about 2.5 hours and recovery about 2 weeks. 

joystars Thanks:) He said I just need to massage the left side to ease the pain.  GRRR.. he has no clue how weird it is to massage something you dont feel.

Anyway girls......Hickory Dickory Dock.....its nearing Wine o Clock.. GRIN.. Hugs to my wonderful friends.

Laurie08

Ducki- I LOVE your garbage can!!!!!  Not to mention your hickory dickory dock comment.  So smiling right now thank you! 

almagetty

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone! (And even in Norwegian!)

reneemac

Hi ladies! Sorry that I haven't been around much in the past few weeks. It's been busy around here! I had to travel for work this week and was exhausted, but my boss told me to work half days on Wednesday and Friday and I took him up on that. My fatigue is not gone but it is not as bad as it was. Also, GOOD NEWS. The metal in my TE DID NOT set off the security screening at the airport! LOL. I was figuring that it would and it didn't. I had to fly to Phoenix and back in a day and that was an experience, considering that I couldn't lift my suitcase with my computer and projector in it. I was thankful that some kind strangers helped me with that.

Tonight, my 8 year old daughter and I went to a "Mom and Me" event at her school. We make a Fall craft wall hanging, ate dinner and had a real good time. It's times like that when I don't even think about the BC.

I have some friends who were encouraging me to enter the local Breast Cancer walk, which is tomorrow. I am not sure that I am ready to do that. Is that wrong?

And happy belated birthday, Getty!

almagetty

Thanks, Renee!

I'm glad your trip went well and that the metal detectors didn't go off at the airport. I'm not sure if your cruise is scheduled before or after your exchange, but my TE didn't set off the ship's metal detectors either.

I don't think it's wrong for you not to participate in a BC walk. I'm not ready to do the either. I think we each have to find our comfort level with this disease.

Happy Saturday! 

gunner

Ducki: depending on yur good breast size etc  there are 2 ways to do lift, my PS said thru nipple or a T incision wuder breast. I kind want to stay away from nipple due to sensitivity the other breast dead, including nipple, like to feel one good nipple.  The whole thing is emotional, I go off the rocker at the littlest thing like my sister telling me to get over it meaning BC.  I hate the anesthia, scares the hell out of me. They want to go in on your scar to minimize scar tissue.  Is anyone taking tamoxifen here, makes downstairs weird.

I get really emotional when I see my son who will be 20 who is at UCSB makes me feel how short our life is and how fast our kids grow.  Being a nurse I learned it is very easy to be born into this world but hard to leave. Having DCIS my 2nd time  I see things differently, re cancer. Depressing.I hate the TE feels horrible during the expansion but I am grateful that it is almost over.  I am reading this book about the Women of 911 who were in and worked at 911. Firefighters, EMT, paramedics. What they saw did there graphic views inspire me to trudge thru each day. Seeing bodies fall fit the ground, friends and co workers vanished in a second. They live there life to the fullest each day.  I honestly beleive this book is a godsend and a suggestion for u women to read when u are down. Good morning to all Elizabeth

RobinLM

Hahaha Ducki - that's brilliant!! We must be ahead of you as I've had a glass already!!

Happy belated to you Getty, hope you had a good one.

Had some 'breast' massage today - felt a bit ouchy - but good ouchy, as you say, difficult to do when you can't feel it...... 'boobies' very sore now, maybe overdid it. Anyone else doing that? Did it help? Managing to cut down the painkillers, not max'ing out every day now - hoorah.

Had my physio appt, got some exercises and stretches....... muscles very tight but improving......Lovely weekend everyone

x

gunner

Hi Gunner here 

does anyone get moody  before there fill sitting cryimg here as summer passed me buy.  I lv wed for my 2nd to last fill 4 hr  dr 15 minute procedure 4 hr drive home.  Im trying to work with my  mortgage company to reduce payments due to hardship hello I can't work that is a nightmare.

What type bras u women wearing im a 32 A  the mastec side with expander is a weird side.

I guess I hate my life right now Im in prison all I do is breast cancer shit.I am afraid to drink anymore, afraid to walk dogs I yanked my golden yesterday and armpit sore all day I am sick of people giving me that cancer stare fuck them all. I do not know what to do to get in a good mood.  Elizabeth 

Laurie08

Robin- I don't do massages- unless if you count feeling the scars for a ny lumps or bumps or putting vitamin E oil on to help the scars fade.  I did have my first muscle spasm in the left foob this weekend and thought of you!

Elizabeth- I have been having a hard time lately too.  I am starting to feel better though.  Venting helped me.  It feels good to bitch sometimes and have someone else agree that it sucks.  As for being afraid to drink, lol!  I do not have that problem!  I like my wine and enjoy a glass or two a few days a week.  I was nervous at first too, but once I got back on that horse I found him easy to ride:)  I am wearing the barely there bra's.  Maybe you have seen the commercials, don't guess your bra size?  They are sized small, med, large and fit A-B cup, B-C etc.  They have nice thin straps, no wire, no padding- very comfy.I never got moody before my fills, but it wasn't an all day adventure for me either.  My PS is 15 minutes away.  I was always interested in what my boobs would look like with a little more of a fill.

Renee- I don't think it is bad that you aren't walking in the cancer walk.  I hate it too.  This will be my 12th year walking and I am going to do it again this year.  I walk on a team in memory of my best friends sister who passed away at 26 from BC.  But- since my mom died I can't handle it emotionally either.  I show up 10 minutes before the walk starts so I don't have to hear about the survivor stories and then once I am walking it's fine.  Then it's just chit chat with friends for the 5 miles and done.  This is the second year my husband and now two boys will walk with me

Had another busy weekend with my family, went apple picking got pumpkins etc, fun stuff.  Of course I have come down with a wicked cold.  But, (this is huge for me)  today I sent the kids to my in laws so I can rest and try to feel better with out being mom.  I just got up from a three hour nap and have home made chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove.  Feeling a little better and enjoying the quiet.  

I hope everyone had a great weekend.

RobinLM

Laurie, I'm thinking the massage was defo too strong, I have a tiny bloody scab on the scar line now which wasn't there before.... and a couple of pinpoint small bruises close by...... hmmmm will not have massage again until I see the PS in mid Oct..... I'm getting muscle spasm almost continually on the left super-pec........... horrible....

Normal bras just don't fit....... I have now a large 'basal area' boobie with a 'blunt profile'...... absolutely nothing fits, if itwasn't so upsetting it'd be funny....... Don't really know what I expected - but it clearly wasn't this... 

Elizabeth, I'm not afflicted with fear of booze either - unfortunately, in fact helps me sleep sometimes, but I'm not feeling brilliant about all this myself. I'm bored stiff, unable to do anything I really want to do, sport, grooming my horses, drive my manual car..... sleep on my side.... the list is endless..... Sick of it all really.... I've been waiting all summer long for the operation - frightened to go anywhere in case I got a cancellation and missed it, had it, 12 days later - back at work.... no enjoyable time-off since Oct last year....... it's crap. Weather has turned here now so its pretty grey and depressing......

I think we are in need of an injection of humour maybe a good Ducki joke, or a Lizzimac special comment....

Lots of Love to everyone, especially those who are feeling down...

x

jsmiley60

Robin: Sorry that are struggling so with everything, although I really understand!

Laurie: Glad to hear that you are taking more time for you to rest! Sorry that you have a cold, but maybe it is teaching you that you need more down time, if that makes any sense.

I'm pretty tired of the SORENESS I have every day and night and now am having sharp pains in the left side. I think it is due to the radiation but the doc says no it is just the nerves growing back (funny how didn't really have the sharp pains til I started rads!) Plus my skin is irritated now and I'm feeling some fatigue. Oh joy! Will I ever be able to look for a JOB??!! I'm going to try and work on my attitude and get back to being positive and optimistic!

gunner

Gunner here:

Tmrr I go in for my 2nd to last fill, drive 4 hrs to SF for the fill then 4 hrs back. Jeanne I feel for you, I miss work, on disability, tried to  get my load on house modified turned down due to not being behind in payments house and a savings account PLEASE she kept saying I feel for you, I said no you doen't you have a job I had cancer. I was really looking forward to lower house payments.  Stuck with the house. I am permanent PMS since I started taking Tamoxifen, CRAP.I feel like I am living in my little own world. I sawed all my bushes down in the front  yard yesterday LOL my hubby came home taking your agressions out on the bushes. No gotta love our  DH.  I want to feel normal again, I was alittle sore this am from the saw job otherwise yard alittle empty. My expander I do not know not going to miss it. What do these expanders look like anyway. I chose not to look at it when I had the opportunity as I was in shock due to the MASTECTOMY.  You know we all walk this cancer road alone its nice to come here and vent.I hate my fill days, I hate going back thru those hospital doors. I hate it.Dark black and creepy. Im off to make Rachel Rays beer chile chopping my mushrooms. Hope us ladies have a peaceful afternoon.

Elizabeth

RobinLM

Jeanne, I'm trying to tell myself I'm lucky, had it all done before it developed into a serious issue..... I sometimes feel I'm not 'quallified' to be here - especially when some of us have so many things to contend with.

Weird how we are all on a downer together - we have to somehow get a spark in here....... Collective misery is no good girls!!

Elizabeth, I was shown an expander, although it was a permanent type with a removable inlet valve where the port hangs out like a drain..... It was like an implant at the base but with a central 'reservoir' connected to the 'port' that was empty which would expand with saline injections...... wasn't rigid - unlike how my implants feel! I'm really sorry you have this worry on top of household worries - horrible for you. I'm disappointed for you that the mortgage company is not more understanding.

So how many dogs do you have Elizabeth? I have 2, an Italian Spinone, Bronte - a big, gentle, hairy lovely girl, and a bouncy little tinker called Sootie who is a Scottie cross Lhasa Apso........ I love my dogs... I'm lucky because where I live we walk out the door into countryside - no leads required.... one of the few normal things i can manage!

Robin x

joystars

Hello beautiful ladies!

I'm sorry to read that some of you are not doing that great lately   Come on girls! We are here, we are here after some battles and with scars and all but WE ARE HERE and we plan on to keep doing so for many many more years, right? This monster sure took some part of our bodies but we can't let it take our moments of joy, our love, our smiles and our dreams. Cheer for you all my girls!

I think I'm in my happy happy world right now, wonder how long will it last hehe... oh well. But a huge warm hug for each one of you! October is coming and with it many activities for BC awareness here in Oslo, one of them is the Cancer walk, which I'm so gonna join. Not sure how will it go with my belly and all but surely will be interesting.
Years ago, while living in Ottawa, Canada I joined the walk too. Little I knew at that time that all those stories and warrior women I met will become such a reality for me at my 30's. Oh my!

In other news, onco and obstetrician agreed on a 34 weeks c-section! So happy! So DH and I have a date already to meet our lovely daughter on November 24th. Can't wait!


Gunner, I so know your feeling. Sometimes we all feel in our own little world and no one gets to know what is exactly going on in our minds. I'm sorry to hear you are on Tamoxifen. I'll get there sometime next year... really not looking forward to it
Sending you a big hug and wishing I could join you on your walks...

Ducki, LOVE the garbage can. Showed the pic to my DH and he laughed! He thinks we should we one for ourselves too!

Robin, hugs hugs hugs hugs!

To all, this is a question I had in mind for a while... it's about your circle of friends. Who and when did you tell about your BC. For me it has been a tad hard to tell the world, especially when everyone is so focused on my pregnancy. Of course family knows, and some very very close friends but counting them all is about 14 ppl max. and some of them don't even know quite well the dimension of the whole thing. For my DH the story is a bit different, sicne I'm more open with my girl friends, but he has only talked with his manager and the manager of his manager and HR director...that's about it. Sometimes I wonder if he needs to vent his feelings but perhaps he just doesn't knwo how or with who.... I dunno.
So who and when did you tell? And also, what about those friends that are nto very close to you but you get to see very often at work/reunions/etc.

Joy

joystars

almagetty

JoyStars: November 24!!! That is right around the corner! In the USA, it is the day before we celebrate Thanksgiving. So very appropriate, I think. I am so happy for you!!

As to your question, I find that at the beginning, I told everyone who would listen, but as this journey has unfolded, I've been more hesitant to talk about it. It has become more of a private thing for me. Even some of the people that I shared with at the beginning don't know how exactly things have worked out. When they ask, I tell them that I'm fine. And they're happy with that answer. I think it fits into everyone's hope that this is a thing with a definite finish line.  There's that feeling for me of TMI (too much information) when explaining that what my next surgery entails includes things like a new nipple and areola. Right now, the people I confide in are limited to my immediate family mostly. I think your number of 14 people is pretty close to accurate for me. It might actually be a bit on the high side.

I love all of the encouraging words that you've brought to our thread today. I'm sorry that so many of our June ladies are going through a hard time right now. My wish is for everyone here to be granted more strength to shoulder the burden. It gets better with the implant. I promise!

Getty

Laurie08

Joy- When I was diagnosed the news spread like wild fire.  I think everyone in my area knows.  I live in a smaller town and where I had lost my mother and had just had a baby (to be honest) I think it made good gossip.  During diagnosis and surgery I sent out mass e mails and let everyone know whet was going on.  People were amazing with a dinner calendar for a month, phone calls etc.  Once my surgery was done my last mass e mail I gave the stats of my pathology report and as of then, no more updates.  It became no longer about cancer but reconstruction.  That, I feel, is a different creature.  Like Getty said, no one needs to know when I will get nipples or implants etc.  When I see people now and they look at my chest they say how amazing I look, I thank them and smile.  They don't need to know I have a dogs squeak toy planted in my chest, because isn't that what it feels like?  They don't need to know I don't have nipples, or that I am planning on getting them.  Although, there are about ......I would say 5 girl friends who know most of the real, poop, not all , but most.  You need to have a couple people who you can vent to besides your husband or yourself.  They don't get it but they try, and sometimes that helps alot.

I say do whatever makes you comfortable, if you don't want to talk about it don't.  If you do and the mood strikes you go for it, people will surprise you.

♥

gingersfavorite1

joy,   as with everything else about this dreaded disease,  we all choose to handle it differently (as far as getting word out & telling people about it).

I told my children and parents first.    After that, I called my good friend (asking her to be my advocate)   and then the guy I'd dated for much of last year, (the one who found the lump months before).     The next morning I called or emailed several other girlfriends - wanting them to hear it from me - before it trickled down the grapevine.

I too, live in a small town (900 people).  Our school is consolidated with two other small towns - but basically, everybody knows everybody.     My son was a high school senior and it was baseball season (early May) when I was diagnosed.      Senior night was the evening following my diagnosis and I shared the news with several of the moms as we sat together for a meal after the game.

I never wanted my kids (18 & 21)  to be restricted as to who they could share with.    My parents either for that matter.    I have always been an open book and hate secrets with a passion.    Within the next few days, I was receiving phone calls from concerned friends and family.    By then,  I was eluding to it on Facebook - and within a week, had added a pink ribbon to my profile picture and was talking about it openly.    As I proceeded with appointments, consultations, more tests and plans for my near future,  I decided to start a blog.    I decided that was the best way to keep people up to speed on how I was doing - feeling it was important they be able to hear it from me.     NOT like playing the telephone game, where the story gets twisted, changed and added to, as it goes along.    The blog has also worked as a bit of journaling for me - and has allowed me to document my journey in pictures and writing.

I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from that.  I also feel that it helped shield my parents from be inundated with an excessive amount of phone calls and questions.     

I considered posting the link to my blog here - but really don't want to open it up to would-be stalkers or spammers  (LOL)    If any of you are interested in seeing it, you can send me a private message and I'll share.

Anyway, this process has worked extremely well for me - but I do realize it's different for everyone.    {hugs} 

speech529

Hi ladies

I am a June mx, but I haven't posted in a while--I had a one-step so I have not had to endure what you are all going through with TEs and exchanges. I don't know how I fit in there, but I think of all of you and my heart lurches when I read of your struggles, rejoices in your glories and laughs with the funny tidbits.

Joystars we all rejoice in the coming of your baby girl,VIda Sofia, on Nov 24.  You are so right, we have all been through a very difficulty trial, but we are here and so much more to do and experience!   Your words are so encouraging!

I hope everyone has easier times ahead, but know that you are equipped to handle the rough spots.  You are.  

As far as telling people...I told my family and close friends at first.  I was overwhelmed with the need to talk about it, but I also had the feeling that it was too much for some people.  Now I don't really want to say much.  Just that I am okay and doing fine.  It's a weird experience emotionally.  It involves cancer but it involves losing a part of your body that is your femininity.  I don't know...very hard to articulate. 

Take care...K

RobinLM

Hi Speech, nice to hear that you are doing well.

I had the BMx and one step (300cc) on 31st August. The moved some muscles (anterior serratus) attaaching them to my pecs to close the implant pocket, and  they 'skinned' my midriff and hauled it up - double skinning the lower part of the breast skin. I had my first day without painkillers yesterday, only 2 the day before. My pecs/anterior serratus are in spasm on and off, feels like 'iron bra', the 'sunburn' factor is constant. Sneezing or coughing seems inherently risky!  Is that how you felt a month out?

Laurie - love the squeaky toy analogy! Very apt

I told everyone too at first, I wanted people to know 'why' in advance if I lost the plot over anything - especially at work. I have had absolutely amazing support from everyone, including the company where I work as a consultant dayrater..... Feel I've been very lucky.... I don't mention much now though, if folk ask me I say "getting better every day thanks" and save my griping for you girls and my partner.....

Joystars - great to hear from you as usual.....Roll on 24th November!

Lots of love to everyone..... x

stlcardsfan

Howdy all

MOHS surgery on my skin cancer on my face now done! It took two tries, but they got it all. The reconstruction - well that is another story. It feels like I got in a fight, and have the biggest fat lip ever. No showering for 2 days as I am not supposed to get my face wet. Icing every hour for 15 minutes while I am awake. No chewing for 3 days. No talking, unless necessary. I can barely open my mouth as it is, the spot was right above my lip. Well, I guess this is one way to lose weight. 

Had my last fill on Tuesday 9/28, and the muscle spasms started shortly after. I ending up having to leave work it got so bad. I am at 405 cc's with 400 cc te's. I am done, no more going in these things. My exchange surgery has been scheduled for 12/20, and I will also be getting my port out at the same time. Figured I had already done 3 surgeries at once, why not do two together. Scheduling this far out, both Dr's were available.

As far as telling people - I told my family, and a few people at work. It then spread from there. The work people saw my go thru chemo, and were all there for me when I went back after bmx. I work for too big of a company to keep it a secret, and my position interacts with so many others that I figured everyone would know sooner or later. I am basically an open book, if they want details, I tell them. If they don't, then I don't talk about it.  

jsmiley60

Stlcardsfan: glad to hear from you and glad to hear that surgery is over with and you are on your way to recovery. I thought maybe you just weren't posting cause the REDS won! LOL!

Laurie08

St cardsfan- Thanks for posting, I've been thinking about you.  It sounds like all went well, and now you have to go through hell while you heal.  Not sure if it helps, but a friend of mines husband went through something similar.  Couldn't eat, very swollen, 20+ stiches to remove the cancer that came out from his top lip.  I saw him this past weekend, it's been about three months and you can not even see his scar at all.  I asked if he used vitamen E oil or anything and he didn't but he looks fantastic.  I was amazed, I hope you get the same results. 

Big hugs.

almagetty

Stlcardsfan: So glad to hear that this, too, is behind you now. I'm sending many wishes your way for a speedy recovery. I'm glad you have your exchange date all set, too!

 Take care!

Getty 

happymom8285

Been reading all the updates.

Just want to add how much this disease sucks!  And hate that some of you are having such a tough time.  It does get better!!  Just had my exchange a week ago.  My TE's were hard as rocks and I did have terrible spasms my last fill up to 475cc's.  They took my breath away.  Dr prescribed some valium.  ahhhhh.  But after 3 or 4 days I was ok.  Now I have 500cc squishee silicone implants.  Every day I get stronger.  You all will too!

joystars so excited about your news!

stlcardsfan--hang in there! 

When I was facing my bmx, I kept telling myself, "they're attached to me, I'm not attached to them."  Seemed to help.

And after telling my family, I let everyone of my friends know on facebook.  A burden shared is a lot easier to bear.  My quirky sense of humor has kept me going as well.  At first I had this overwhelming compulsion to blurt out to everyone I met that I was just diagnosed with bc. We did go on vacay after my dx and got to know another couple while there.  But I never shared the news with them.  Figured we'd probably never see each other.