Mom has stage 4.. chemos aren't working, losing hope.

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Brittyx23
Brittyx23 Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi, i am 21 years old. My mom is 41 and her breast cancer just came back in august. she is stage 4 and it has spread into her liver, her lungs, and her bones. Her liver is giving her a lot of pain and her  onc says the tumors are probably progressing. she has a cat scan today. we are trying our 4th chemo because the first 3 arent working. I am starting to get worried. I feel anxious all the time and it's getting harder to get out of bed. All i want to do is spend time with her. I really don't know how to live without my mom.. Should we be getting second opinions?? I am just scared and was wondering if anyone out there was in the same situation and feels the same..

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited May 2010

    My first question would be  - does your mom want 2nd opinions?

    I'm sorry you are going  through this.  You sound like a very concerned, loving daughter.

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited May 2010

    My first question would be  - does your mom want 2nd opinions?

    I'm sorry you are going  through this.  You sound like a very concerned, loving daughter.

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  • lorrhaw
    lorrhaw Member Posts: 751
    edited May 2010

    Please don't give up hope.  If you spend time reading the posts in the stage IV forum you will see that there are lots of different treatments to try.  As leaf said if your mom want's a second opinion then she should get one or even a third of fourth.  I have a 16 year old daughter and I plan on fighting this as hard as I can because I can't even fathom the thought of leaving her without a mother until she is much, much older.  Your mom is lucky to have a daughter that cares enough to seek out advice and learn from this forum so please continue to be there and support her.

    You and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • goldengirl12
    goldengirl12 Member Posts: 51
    edited May 2010

    Hi, I am sorry to hear about your mom. My sister found out 3 months ago she has Stage IV breast cancer, she is 31, I am 29. I definitely think we are too young to be thinking about cancer and anything remotely this serious right now. I don't have any words of wisdom, as I have just begun to go through this journey with my sister. She finds out Tuesday how treatment is going. All I can say is I think we all have are good and bad days, and I understand the feeling of wanting to spend every moment you can with your mom right now. I never miss a call from my sister and ask her over as often as she can. 

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  • elninopadre
    elninopadre Member Posts: 1
    edited May 2010

    I would like to know how is she doing as I have a friend the same age as you who was diagnosed with stage IV about week or so ago.  I just got the news last thursday and have been having issues coping with it...  The person actually had to cheer me up when the news broke...so I feel a bit loss for words...Is it better just to let it out when alone so I don't cry and upset the person when talking to them?   Will start chemo soon also looking at alternative far east treatments.

    Thanks for your time.

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