Caregiver - How to deal with emotions one year later

miriam09

hi,

my mom got diganosed with Stage 1, IDC last April. She had a lumpectomy, then 4AC and 12 Taxol followed by radiation. She finished all her treatments, had her first couple follow-ups and is doing fine! :-) I am very happy about that!!! I was her primarily cargiver and during all this time I didn´t really have someone I could talk to. I took my mom to all dr. appointmnets, spent nights reading her from books when she couldn´t sleep, shaved her head (the hardest thing I ever had to do!), took care of the household etc. It was never a burden and I am very proud of her, her strengths and determination! Now everything is somewhat back to "normal", but I realize that I never delt with all my emotions during this time. I have trouble sleeping, I constantly have to think about the last year and started crying a lot. For everybody around me it seems to be "over", even for my mom - not so for me. I don´t knwo what to do. Is anyone out there that feels the same way? Any advice on how to deal with the "aftermath"?

Thanks!

Miriam

dee1961

Hi Miriam,

I wasn't a caregiver I had BC. I don't know how I would have made it without the help from my partner. I am sure you must be going thru a type of post tramatic stress disorder. I mean you were there and did everything for your mom, you prolly had to keep a straight face for the last year and hold in your emotions. Maybe you could go to a support group in your area, I know we have them here for survivors and caregivers too. Good luck to you and your mom and hope you feel better soon

miriam09

Hi dee1961,

Thank you for your reply and nice words! :-) Just writing about it actually made me feel a little better! That´s the great thing about this website! I actually thought about going to a support group or psychotherapist or so, but I don´t think I would be a great "talker" and sitting down on a specific day and time and talk would probably not work for me. I tried to talk to a friend, thinking maybe she would understand. But she doesn´t. She - like most people around us - is only focused on how my mom is doing (which is fine and I welcome that!). IT just seems that noone understands that caregivers go thru lots of emotions too. And keeping a straight face and be upbeat all the time is not easy. I would like to "move on" and leave this past year behind me. Maybe I just didn´t take enough time to think about what happened and now that everything is about to return to "normal" it comes up. Guess, that´s normal. Just wish it was over! All the best to you and thanks for "listening"! :-)

Miriam