Calling all TNs

JAN69

Luv - I'm so happy you are doing well.  Being with your family for so much fun must have been especially sweet.  I love seeing your messages and appreciate your attitude.    Jan

DorMac

Kathy - Congrats on your 2 year anniversary. Enjoy your empty nest and your trip to Jamaica. I retired in 2010 but then my DH had a heart attack. Just when he got his one year "thumbs up" exam, I got my diagnosis. I finished chemo 2 months ago and am planning a trip for next summer. It's time to start really enjoying our retirement!

Marianne - Don't be depressed by our "after I'm gone" talk - no-one is giving in! We have very strong fighting women on this site! We are all going to "go" some day and some of us are closer to that inevitability strictly by virtue of age. And because we've been on this unpleasant journey, many of us have also come to the realization of what's important and what isn't. So we've decided to start de-cluttering our lives. But, rest assured that, while we may at times think about it, none of us are ready to go yet!

Hope everyone who had a long weekend really enjoyed it - it's Labour Day, here in Canada. And although the temperature was 27 Celsius (79 Farenheit), DH and I spent it watching exhibition hockey games.

Doreen 

browerl

I still have a long way to go with my treatment however, I have all ready started planning my first Cruise next November. The one good thing about bc is you learn to start living NOW!

LuvRVing

Doreen - I just noticed your little tag line about being on the green side of the grass...love it!

Cocker_Spaniel

Morning Ladies.

TIFJ/Yodie - can I borrow your hubby.  My old fellar keeps everything and I mean everything. I would give anything to have a good clear out of the garage so I could get my car in even if he doesn't mind his sitting outside. He is absolutely shocking when it comes to throwing things away but the trouble is when anyone wants anything he always has it, and then I get 'see I knew I shouldn't throw it away'. So bloody annoying to know he is right!!

Belleeast - we don't get scans here in NZ either unless we have a new symptom.  Even though we have to wait for the results and get quite terrified I wish we did have the scans to know that everything is alright for peace of mind.

KSteve - congratulations.  Your diagnosis is the same as mine so you have given me a great hope knowing that I may make it like you have.  Enjoy your trip to Jamaica and really live it up.

Marianne52 - I felt just like you at the beginning of my treatment which was as I saw it 'to keep me alive' and I felt quite down at reading some posts.  But over the time I have been on here I have gone through all the stages that the other ladies have gone through and had my doubts and fears just like them.  We have also lost some wonderful ladies that used to be on the thread.  There are always the 'what ifs' because we are fearful of it coming back some days,  not because we have given up the fight and/or ready to die.  Not one of us on here feel like that. We are all as positive as we can be but we all have our down days and we understand each other and that is the beauty of this thread that we are there for each other and can say what we feel.  Don't worry girl none of us have any intention of going anywhere for a long time, God willing.   We will still be chatting to each other in ten years time and still eating chocolate cake lol.     

LUV - great news that you are having no issues.  Hope you enjoyed the icecream you lucky girl.

On the neuropathy front I don't have any in my toes but my fingernails have all gone funny and I'm hoping I don't lose them.  My fingers are tender if I touch something and I can't pick up anything heavy anymore.  They are also still numb so I am hoping that this comes right because of my typing.

Have a good stress free day ladies.  Enjoy yourselves as much as you can.  Big hugs to all. Annie            

Paintingmywaythru

Hi All,

Luv..love the toes and wow it would be so great if your pioneering is the TNBC drug we are all looking for.

Inmate.. so glad to see you posting, of course, not today for sure.

I spent the weekend with my 2 children, 29 and 19 driving to upstate NY to see my mom and sister at my mom's summer cottage- petty cool for an 85 year old lady- but she is getting ready to sell it and then we went on to Albany where we used to live for a party with tons of college friends. Great for me- less so for my children. We spent the night in Williamstown, MA at a B and B before dropping my 19 year old off to college in Bennington, Vt. Absolutely gorgeous ride home but so glad my daughter was willing to come with me as I still get tired and sometimes  the petal to the metal just makes my feet tingle way too much.

 Bernie...great idea...keep me in the loop if it is not too much trouble....

Annie.....my husband is a book packrat. I literally packed up 140 boxes of books when we moved last fall, all while doing chemo. My friends helped but it was tough. Now they are almost all still in boxes except for the ones my friends have helped me come and unpack. 2 library book sales and 2 summer Quaker church sales later not a book of his has left the house. In fact more have come in....oy! I love books but we need to build a library on to our house.

Glad to be back home. I took the week off to clean our sons room...And to paint of course.

Cheers to all you wonderful women.

Enjoy the lovely moon.

marywh

This is a place where we can rant and rave to our hearts content and there will always be someone there to listen. Some times it just pisses us all off and we have no other place to go..hugs to everyone, especially those of you who are discouraged.

marywh

This is a place where we can rant and rave to our hearts content and there will always be someone there to listen. Some times it just pisses us all off and we have no other place to go..hugs to everyone, especially those of you who are discouraged.

LRM216

Marianne:

First off, know that on this thread, you will never ever have to apologize for any human emotion that you feel.  You were only diagnosed in June, you are just beginning your journey, and of course, you are petrified and still in shock, I'm sure.  Hell, I'm out 3 1/2 years since diagnose, and I am still afraid too, but it does get easier and the fear is a bit less monstrous (unless I have a new pain somewhere, even if its my earlobe!). 

We all know that the type of cancer that we have can be very sneaky and insidious and unfortunately, we have had to watch several of our very beloved and dear sisters on this thread go from what appeared to be good - to bad, and then worse  - when we lost them.  I think I can speak for all of us when I say 6 months later and we are still trying to figure how this could even have happened.  Unfortunately, this sometimes  does, but I can assure you that every one of us on this thread are fighters that intend to win, just that some of us have a rockier path than others, and none of us know when that may someday be us.  We laugh a lot here, and we cry when we have to, but our faith and the strength that we all get from each other overrides everything else.

I think the most important thing I need to add here is that, and you will probably find the same, once we go through our treatments, no matter how many loved ones we have rooting us on, we have all found that most of our support system would prefer to bury the fear and shock that our diagnoses have brought into our lives and our loved ones lives.  They are afraid too, but don't know how to deal with this fear of what might happen to us, so offtentimes they respond to our fears, aches, pains, etc., with  - you will be fine, your treatment worked, so on and so forth.  This is the only place we can all come, and you are included as well, to cry, rant, rave, tremble with fear and ask for hands to hold to get you through a bad night, share a picture, tell a joke, and if you happened to be unlucky enough to end up with a complete jerk of a husband or boyfriend that deserted you through this horror, then we help get you through that too - the list goes on and on.  No one, absolutely no one, no matter how close they are to us or how much we love them, can ever truly understand what we are feeling but another sister.  You will see as time goes by, exactly what I am saying.

Welcome - we are here for you now too, and will always be.  Wishing you nothing but the best always,

Linda

OBXK

Luv - so glad you are doing so well on the new meds! Your day sounds lovely! We had storms here on the coast. The only exercise I got all day, was peeling myself off the ceiling after a really loud thunder clap!

OBXK

Painting - your trip sounds wonderful! Good luck with the books. I donated all but one bookcase full, to the local library. It was so hard! For me, like music , they are place cards, of my life. Be gentle with DH

Yodie

Browerl---I had doible mastectomy and implants all in one surgery and it was about a 4.5 hour procedure. I was in the hospital overnight and back home the day after. I had four drains for 10 days. I don't like pain meds and managed to not need them much. The thing that was the most nuisance was pectoral muscle spasms. I still get them occasionally, but not bad. Kind of like Braxton Hicks on your chest! I'm quite happy with my surgery and results. All the best to you!

Yodie

I want to share that this weekend, my husband and I attended the Aspen Snowmass Jazz Festival. As happens often on my journey, people enter my life and share a story. These stories are filled with messages of hope, perseverance, overcoming, living! We spent much of our time with friends, one of whom is Nina. Nina was dx w/stage IV lymphoma, starting treatment right after her second daughter was born. That was 7yrs ago. Saturday night, I met a woman who had breast cancer 9yrs ago. Last night, a hot fireman sat beside my husband and me at dinner. He survived stage IV acute myelogenous leukemia, diagnosed 11yrs ago. One of my husband's co-workers just completed his chemo on August 8, for stage IV colon cancer. He's training for a marathon (he's an Ironman).



I share these stories, in particular, for Marianne. None of us know how much time we have. There are accidents and all kinds of things that can impact our time here, just as much as cancer shmancer. I intend to live my life to the fullest, no matter what. At the same time, there are times when I feel raw and mortal, and fear creeps in. At those times, I remember that we all have a purpose. If we all keep focusing on what we have yet to do, that pushes us to live with intention, no matter if we live to be a hundred!



For me, I keep my head in check by being deliberate in not allowing small things to get me stressed anymore. This is particularly difficult at work and with two daughters that are still tying to figure out life themselves (19 and 22). I will keep fighting every single day, whatever comes my way, because I want to see my girls independent, strong, women, who can stand on their own two feet. That is what I fight for. That, and to be able to spend many more years with my wonderful (second) husband, who has been a God-

send to me.



I'm waiting for the day when I don't think about cancer most of the day, and I think about cancer only once/day. And, then, when I only think about it a few times a week, a month, a year. You ladies that are several years out give me so much hope! Thank you.

rachelvk

Hi everyone. I know I haven't been that great at keeping up with everyone here, but I enjoy checking in. Your humor is great.

Hope, I'm sorry to hear your news.

I'm a little on edge myself. I'm finally going for a chest and lower back x-ray on Wednesday. I've had a cough hanging on since May. It was really bad at first but seemed to get better after they put me on antibiotics, and I had my exchange. Maybe I'm worrying too much, but this just seems different from my usual allergies. Anyway, my MO gave me the scrip a month ago and I put it off because she said my chest 'sounded' fine, but I should know by now to follow my gut. Just when I was looking ahead to moving on with my life. Wish me luck. 

JAN69

Susan - Oh my!  I think you and your DH win the book collection prize.  I think we'd be in the running, except we discovered our little library (a room above the volunteer fire department) can order books from all over California.  What a deal.  Three weeks and they're out of here.  Oh the money we've saved.  Your trip with your children sounds wonderful.  Are you empty-nesters now?  In case I haven't told you before, I love your art. 

Loretta - I started planning my trip to Hawaii soon after my diagnosis and was soaking up the sweet warmth of the island exactly a year later.  It was calming to focus on my future plans rather than dwelling on tx.

Annie - I'll pop over and massage your hands if I get to sample the old feller's best dish on his menu.

Tourists are heading down the mountain this evening.  We'll soon have the town back.

Peace and joy to all         Jan

DorMac

Luv - I didn't have a tag line at all until about a week ago when someone sent me a link to this song/video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dbBfXCMbH4  I thought it pretty well summed up how I'm feeling right now.

Doreen 

Lovelyface

rachelvk - I had a really bad cough for many many months after treatment, even had a chest xray.  I think chemo does something to the lungs, ribs area.  I used to massage my whole chest and that helped.  Finally, the cough went away after a very long time.  In my case, it was definitely the aftermath of chemo.

Luv - So good to hear that you are doing well on the new drug.  Hope it continues.  Thanks so much for being a pioneer for all of us, we are very proud of you.

Kathy - Congrats on your 2 year anniversary.  For all the newbie's - see there is plenty plenty of hope.

LRM - thanks so much for reiterating the fact that no one, no matter how close they are to us, really understand the shock and change we have gone through in our lives except our BC sisters.

BernieEllen

Marianne stay with us 

rachelvk

Thanks for the support, Lovelyface. I'll hope that it is from chemo. 

mags20487

Rachelvk--we are here...let us know what happens.  {{{{HUGS}}}}

Maggie

JAN69

Doreen - How 'bout that video!!!!!!!  IT IS SO TRUE.  Love it love it.  Thanks for sharing.  I'll be passing it along. 

rachelvk - Thinking of you.  Listening to gut is good.

BernieEllen - I went off FB a few months ago.  I'd consider signing up again if I knew how FB is different from this forum.

Find some joy today      Jan

FernMF

Hugs to all you TN ladies. . . my prayers and good thoughts are coming your way.

I am 1 week from round three . . so this is my "good" week . . . half way . . . trying to CHOOSE to be positive, look at the bright side of things, and not dwell on the bad stuff . . . it is afterall "partly" a mind game, right?

So, today I am thankful that it only took me, like, 5 seconds, to "do" my hair . . . and I don't have to wear an uncomfortable/ill-fitting bra.  . . . . there, how is that for positive?

minxie

Browler - I had BMX, lat dorsi reconstruction, and TEs implanted. The surgery was about 5 1/2 hours and I spent 3 days in the hospital. That was probably the most major surgery I've ever had in my life, though I didn't realize how grueling it would be beforehand! Be sure to take your pain pills, and take it easy! My sister came up for awhile to help out with kids, meals, etc. - it was much appreciated.

Luv, thanks for doing this trial - for all of us.  

OBXK

Fern- love your outlook!

JAN69

Are any of you sewers with lots of fabric stashed away?  I have so much fabric  I think I could open a shop!  I make quilts, mostly wild and colorful ones, big and little.  I am now making quilts for a Paul Newman camp for sick kids.  They need bed quilts, lap quilts, and a specific turtle pillow, all hand made.  If this interests you, it's called The Painted Turtle and is near Lake Hughes in California.

I call this my therapy.  It keeps my mind on other people and off my worries.  There are things worse than the f'n TNBC, and using my stash of fabric helps me and those kids. Anyone interested in joining me?

Jan

Fighter_34

Passing HUGS around to all.

Cocker wonderful news about your daughter.

Inmate- Thinking of you.

Marie- you have the right to be upset you are newly dx'ed. it is only normal we all had similar feelings in the beginning.

Hope (((HUGS))) sending NED thoughts your way. It does help to have someone with you. I can still remember the moment when I was dx'ed.

Lovely face- we have missed you.

I am two years out ladies feels good and scary at the same time. Hopefully normal will come along someday.

Thinking of you all.

Anonymous

Hi Ladies-

Cocker, so good to hear good news about your daughter-

Linda- Your words ring so true. We understand what we all are going through. I hate the pat on the head comments from those that I love.

I forget who mentioned the cough. I have had an ongoing issue with a cough. It becomes very metallic tasting which I feel is allergies.. Lets hope. I have my first mammo coming up since completing treatment on my birthday. Yes, I scheduled it that way. I had my mammo on the 10th of Oct last year, so I decided to get it done on my birthday, the 2nd of Oct. I will be celebrating afterwards.. I just know it!

onvacation

I just know you will be celebrating too Lory!

rachelvk

Yodie - Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. That is a great way to look at everything. I'm trying - it just gets hard some days. 

In fact, thanks everyone for their comments and support. I'm feeling better today, but I'm sure I'll be holding my breath until the results come back. It also turns out I have polyps, so I'm scheduled for a D&C next month, with an extra look to make sure that nothing's brewing there. I think the plumbing may have to come out sooner than I'd like. I'm in chemo pause, and hoping that's only temporary. Although I'm brca2+, my gyn onc recommended waiting until I'm closer to 50 to have the ovaries out. I don't want to wait that long, but I'd like a few more years if I can. Planning the colonoscopy soon, too, and then it will be time for another endoscopy to make sure my Barrett's esophagus hasn't progressed. Starting to feel like I'm on defensive mode against the majority of my organs.

Brower - A cruise! Super. That really is a good way to get away after all this cr@p.

Painting - I so understand about the books. I just moved to a new apartment, and while my packrat tendencies are still high, I am much more willing now to look at something, even if it has some personal meaning (well, most of my books do in my perspective, which is the problem), it's easier to ask "Do I really need this at this point in my life?" My BF is another story - he closed his bookstore a few years back and I suppose he still harbors hopes/plans to do something with his remaining inventory, but for now they're in his apartment and storage. It's made my invitation that he move in with me (hence the new, 2-bedroom apartment) an overwhelming thought for him. Time for some serious intervention.

Fern - enjoy your 'good' week. How many rounds are you getting? You can do it - and finding those 'silver linings' are really what keep you going.

mags20487

fighter...hooray for you at 2 yrs out....So good to see that!

Maggie