Calling all TNs

mwilliams

Thank you all for the advice, kind words, etc.  We spent the past two days in a small room waiting to speak with members of our team.  We are having scans done in a week with a follow-up consult with the oncologist.  I appreciate all the time the Drs spent with us and they knowledge of recent findings in the field.  

Despite the one positive node, our Docs are seriously considering skipping a node dissection because of the results of the recent Z11 study.  Additionally, the radiologist is modifying her approach after hearing the results of a study presented at ASCO in Chicago.  Basically, the presenters found radiation to breast tissue and nodes under arm and broncho... nodes actually improved PFS.  

Our oncologist is considering a less aggressive chemo because of some pre-existing nerve issues.  I'm a bit concerned about that possibility because I want to hit this think with all we can while we have a chance. 

mwilliams

Heidi -- I hope you are feeling better soon.  Never thought I could say, "I've experienced something similar" on this board, but I have ruptured discs in my back on three occasions, the last so badly I could not stand.  If it is a pinched nerve, the pain will subside with patience.  The key to recovery for me was to spend a weekend on my stomach resting before beginning light PT.  Within a couple of weeks, I was moving around well enough to intensify the PT and work on core strength.  

riley702

OBXK - "Riley- I love Lucy"

LOL, I hadn't thought of that!

sylviaexmouthuk

Hello Gillyone,

I just wanted to say well done on going from three monthly to six monthly appointments. Keep up the good work.

Best Wishes, Sylvia.

tnbcRuth

Quick question: Does anyone know what the average Taxotere dose is?  On my trial, they were testing the 'efficacy of dosage' and I got the info today that I got 100mg-M2.  Is that what put me in the hospital for 8 days?

Quick Gripe:  (Heidi, don't read this) I must have hurt my back 6 years ago and it still hurts like a bitch!  I've seen 100's of doctors, treatments of every kind and back surgery.  Nothing has helped.  I went from a golfer/sailor/runner to a fat miserable person.  Pain pills for 2 years keep me functioning, but not near the level of a normal life.  Is this really how its supposed to be?  And 9 months later, the SE's remain.  Nuts. just nuts. 

Stupidboob

Hey Ladies,
  It has been awhile.   Chemo is taking its toll on me.   I am on the AC and one more to go and then off to the Taxol........I am scared to death of the Taxol.   Any words of wisdom to help me.   I have tried not to come here because I have been so sick and down.   I do not regret my surgical decision but now with the hair being gone, and no energy I feel like a useless, one boobed balded headed woman.  I have no problem with the breast being gone when I feel good.  The chemo has TORE my stomach to pieces.   I have meds but wow they are just as bad.  I feel like I can't breath and some is anxiety some is not.   I have ask for another echo but the doc wants me to try some meds for other things first as he does not feel it is the heart.  Ladies I know that most of this is temporary but I can't get my mind wrapped on that.  I can't even wash my own dishes.  By the time I get my umpth up to do it, I simply don't want too.  I will be ok and then the next thing I know I am a weeping willow with no stopping it and then I get to thinking, is this going to last forever, is it worth it.  I don't want to die but I swear it feels like the cure (hoping) is going to kill me first.  I know people mean well when they say things are going to be ok, it won't last forever, but I don't have to tell you all that some of this stuff, feelings and etc.  They will last forever.   I thought it would be great not to have a period, but I never thought I would still cramp have breast pain and all the emotions (which is doubled now) but not get the relief.   I CAN NOT STAND THIS!!! 

I have not read the other post (not that I don't have time) just don't do it.  I am on the computer almost all day playing on my farms to take away the loneliness in my day, but when it comes to reading I just simply don't want too.   I want to pray but I don't, I want to do alot of things but I just don't.  I simply don't know what to do with myself.      Thank you for being here to let me vent......I just don't like to bring others down, but I need to talk.

Stupidboob

Riley702 what a cutie you have there............I have 2 indoor cats and 3 ferals outside. 

mccrimmon324

Hey Stupidboob, I'm sorry your having such a rough time.  I'm not on the same tx as you but from what I've heard the Taxol is easier than the AC.  Have you considered talking to your dr about anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds?  It was one of first things I did when I was diagnosed.  There was no way I was going to lose my hair and not be on something.  I think they really work, my onco put me on a low dose of Lexapro (anti-depressant) and I also have a script for xanax which I only take once a day sometimes.  I don't think I've really had any breakdowns since they've really kicked in.  I'm still terrified and think about it almost constantly but I feel like my depression has gotten a bit better.

tnbcRuth

Stupidboob, I had crying jags in the middle of treatment that lasted for about a month.  Its normal.  Just go ahead and weep.  Wipe your eyes, blow your nose and go back to the farming  Get stoic and just wait this S**t out.  There is a thread called Moan, Groan and Complain or something like that and you can post your brains out.  Response will be limited to "That Sucks!"

BTDT,

Hugs 

edited to add:  Forum Index → Forum: Moving Beyond Cancer → Topic: I'm bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway

gillyone

Stupidboob - how you are feeling is exactly the reason to come on the boards, vent like mad, and get some support, not to stay away. We're all big girls here who UNDERSTAND. I'm sorry you are having a rough time with the AC, but you are almost done. Don't be scared of moving on to taxol, You don't know how it will affect you - it might be better than AC for SEs. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

lrr4993

Ruth - I was told taxotere is dosed by individual weight, so there is no average dose.  Everyone is different. 

Luah

Stupidboob:  So sorry for what you're going through - cancer sucks! and so does the treatment! I remember feeling quite isolated too, especially emotionally. One thing that helped me, was just to get out and walk each day... even if it was only half a block. It just put me out in the world - like I belonged - and made me feel better to see a bit of nature. Hopefully you can feel up to that on some of your better days.

I did taxol on a weekly basis, and had no problems (except some nail issues). I really felt much better than on the AC, and even my hair started growing. Fingers crossed you have a similar experience! ((((((hugs)))))))

Luah

Stupidboob:  So sorry for what you're going through - cancer sucks! and so does the treatment! I remember feeling quite isolated too, especially emotionally. One thing that helped me, was just to get out and walk each day... even if it was only half a block. It just put me out in the world - like I belonged - and made me feel better to see a bit of nature. Hopefully you can feel up to that on some of your better days.

I did taxol on a weekly basis, and had no problems (except some nail issues). I really felt much better than on the AC, and even my hair started growing. Fingers crossed you have a similar experience! ((((((hugs)))))))

Stupidboob

mccrimmon324..............I am glad that the anti-depressant is working for you.   I have my xanax which the doctor told me I could not more regularly yesterday.   I may have to go with the anti-depressant too.    I think with me I just have to much alone time, but it may actually be depression setting in due to the situation and the meds wiping our feel good stuff out........:)

tnruth.......I am sorry you got the weepies too, but glad you dealt with it.   Stoic is something that I have never been good at.  That is one thing I am having issues with, as people act like I am not suppose to have the feelings I am having.   I feel if I keep it hidden it will just get worse.  Now farming I am good at......:)

thanks gillyone

Luah thanks for info and I am glad to hear you had no problems with the Taxol.  The guy who gives me some of my treatments said that Taxol was a piece of cake compared to the AC but I worry about that Allergic reaction that alot of people have with it and then the extreme fatigue and bone pain.   The good thing is that the doctor said he might not make me take the Neulasta with the Taxol.   That Neulasta is some nasty stuff in my book.   I really think it has caused alot of my issues.   Yeah it has kept my numbers up but wow it makes me feel horrible.  

Thanks for the support ladies....................it means alot to me, and one day I hope to be as much support to others as you ladies are.

mccrimmon324

Stupidbood, I spent alot of time at home by myself waiting for my incision to heal before I could start chemo and I can definitely tell you I'm not good by myself at all.  I was really in a bad funk.  My husband is working this weekend too so I know I'm going to be alone a lot and I bet my anxiety will get worse.  I do find that staying on these boards do help, I over googled in the beginning and freaked myself out now I don't stray from this website. 

Titan

Stupidboob...!  Here's a hug for you kiddo!   I'm sitting here a little weepy for you becuase I know you feel like **Slll*..and want this to be all over with and done...and you are tired of being strong and getting through it and you want to quit...believe me..been there, done that.

Hey I'm a computer farmer too!  I started it during radiation!

Babs37

Stupidboob- If there is something good coming here on this board is that we all can relate to what you are going through. I too had the feeling that I had to put on my "smiling face" because people just thought that if I cried, it was because I didn't believe or that I stopped fighting when that was nothing like that. It's good to let it out and have a good cry. We are all going through a very hard time physically and mentally when we have cancer. And add chemo on top of it all, it's crazy hard. I did 4 DD AC with neupogen shots. The Neupogen shots were the hardest on me. Then I had 12 weekly Taxol and that was much better on me. And no Neupogen shots with Taxol, YEH!!! I know you heard it before but it does get better with time. Last year, at this time, I was watching everybody go about their lives, planning vacations, having summer fun plans and I thought to myself :" I will never be able to plan vacations with my family anymore" or see next summer for that matter! But I am still here this summer and I did get to plan another vacation this year. You will feel good again and soon!  So hang in there. I know it's hard but we all get through it one way or the other. But it takes time........ Big Hugs to you. 

Suze35

All I have is my iPhone, and I desperately want to post darnit!!



Titan - thanks for checking on me, I got so annoyed by that other thread, what I really wanted to say was pretty rude, lol. So I just backed away for a day. I am at this moment sipping a glass of wine in a cute little bar on 45th and Park waiting for DH...ahhhhh.



Stupidboob - soo much I want to say, but most of all, there is no right way to do this. You just simpl get through he only way YOU know how. My DH sometimes felt I was "giving up" if I was in a funk, which is BS. You are still processing everything and that means the bad as well as the good. So do what you have to, act how you want, and I truly believe that is he best way to cope. As a side note, AC totally sucked for me, and weekly Taxol was so much better.



mwillams - I'm glad to hear your team is working so hard. I had full 4 field rads and then some, with no regrets. Anything to reduce my risk. Keep us posts on her chemo - keep in mInd that AC is not always indicated, even thouh it is the most aggressive. Studies are showing the Taxanes are more effective. And talk to your doctors about doing Taxol first, new studies are showing order of chemo makes a difference.



Can't believe I got that all on my phone, lol. Thinking of you all!!

Babs37

Have fun Suze. You deserve it!!! (((Hugs)))

Suze35

Thanks Babs!!!



I forgot to say...



I am DONE with rads. Donedonedonedonedone!!! Yayyy!

Titan

Suze...I think I'm going to leave work, go home, get some wine and sit on my front porch and JOIN YOU!  Why don't you come to Stupidboob...you can farm later...I will too..

Suze35

*CLINK* - slainte!

ksmatthews

Congrats Suze35!  Was rads bad?  Was SE low?

tnbcRuth

I had to look up Taxotere dosage because I talked to my clinical trial RN and she said that's the one that probably made me so sick.  So...The recommended dose of TAXOTERE is 75 mg/m2 administered intravenously over 1 hour  .For locally advanced or metastatic breast cancer after failure of prior chemotherapy, the recommended dose of TAXOTERE is 60 mg/m2 to 100 mg/m2 administered intravenously over 1 hour every 3 weeks...from http://www.drugs.com/dosage/taxotere.html. 

Maybe the m2 is like your body weight squared or something...anyway I got 100mg/m2, and that is the max.  I wish I had had someone running interference for me when I signed up for the trial:(  Will the SE's ever go away?  Its been 9 months!! Grrrrrr  

mamachick

Stupidboob-  I don't post much on here, but I had A/c with taxatere at the same time for 6 cycles and I have been told that most of my side effects that I had came from the A/C.  I also worried about allergic reaction too, but that did not happen.  I also had to go on an antidepressant because all I wanted to do all the time is cry.  I cried over the marshmallow not melting my chocolate on my smore.  Once on Lexapro I have to say that helped a whole lot.  I came off of it about a month after treatments and doing fine without it.  P.S.  I like to farm too, but my DH always yells at me for wasting time, but on chemo sometimes that is all you can do.  Don't think about what you can't do, focus on what you can do and go with that, the rest will be there when you are finished. Will be praying for you, sorry if that is offensive to some, but it helped me to know that someone had me on their mind.

Paintingmywaythru

Stupidboob...this is the sucky part of cancer isn't it. Hang in there, we are all out there giving you a cyberspace hug.

I just started TC today @ Mt. Auburn in Boston. felt very very well cared for. They gave me an antinausea med beside zofran that they said is newer and lasts 3 days.  It started with an A. I went with 2 chemo buddies and while anxious at first, the nurse was so nice and professonal and did whatever I asked. My 2 friends kept me busy telling stories...It was well better than I thought. I am tired now. I was wired there...I think the extra dose of steroids pre chemo had me gittery.I kept ice on my fingernails the whole time...may not do what the cooling mitts do but they didn't have them. Will see how tired I get. I am supposed to take compazine starting tonight as a precaution and then zofran on day 4 through 8 as needed.

Odd to be home alone.

Fighter_34

Ladies just go through it you are HUMANN after all. I have my days and moments all the time.

Suze35 congrats on being halfway done. Hang in there. I am heading up to NYC next week for my co-workers B-day! I want to have FUN FUN FUN!!!

Heidi- thinking maybe a swollen muscle from that lovely horse ride. You have VERY beautiful horses. 

Hi newbies and here's to a LONG new friendship!

Have a great weekend ladies!

Fighter_34

@ Painting me too it took awhile for me to feel comfortable w/ being home all the time. I am so use to being on the go. LIFE.

Titan

Just the fact that you are bored at home is a good thing...go do something even if it is to take a walk...or out to eat or something....if you have lost your hair you can freak people out by removing your wig at stoplights...there are alot of things you can do...rest when you have too though...

Maria_Malta

Dear Stupidboob....there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be... ignore stiff upper lip comments and reassuring noises from people who are trying to be nice but who have no idea...none of us who are going/have gone through the shock of dx, followed by chemo and the rest would EVER expect you to be in control of this rollercoaster... 

I had FECx4 and now have had 2 of 4 Taxotere, so I can't talk to you about my SEs from A/C.  But Taxotere is the same family as Taxol...people seem to say different things about them, some saying one is tougher than the other, but I think, as usual, it's all down to individuals...what I can say about the Taxotere is the steroids keep me high for 3 days, and then I kind of come down abruptly. I don't really get sickness or nausea, but I've found it helpful to eat very lightly during the 'high' days, as my digestion then seems to cease up on day 4.  Taste is an issue by this time, and I go off my food, but at least I don't get nauseous. I got achy bones the first time, but controlled the pain with Nurofen. The second time was easier for some reason.  The main SE was tiredness both times..but I found the second time better to deal with because I was expecting to collapse and be unable to do anything..in the really exhausting days I can't seem to do anything at all..not even read. It is now day 8 and I'm pretty much back to normal.

Don't worry too much about allergic reactions...Taxotere, and I imagine Taxol as well, is administered very slowly, and you will be checked continually...and if you do react it will be pretty obvious and happen quite quickly... many women do react (not always in their first cycle, could be in later ones), but many do not... and the nurses are prepared and know exactly what to do...

Like all of this experience, it is beyond your control, so try and concentrate on the harm this stuff causing the cancer cells...Best best wishes coming your way...