April 2010 starting chemo

dutchgirl6

The anniversary of my diagnosis was in December, but someone on another thread reminded me that yesterday was my one year anniversary of belonging to BCO.   I was at home recovering from the lumpectomy I had on Feb. 1, and had a concern that I googled, BCO was one of the hits.  I was completely absorbed by this site, and I haven't looked back since.  These boards, and all of my sisters on them, have helped keep me sane during this year of insanity.  This group, in particular, has been such a valuable support for me, and I am grateful to you for all of your insights, suggestions and experiences shared.  As Shelley said, what a year it has been!

saralmom

Jennifer - I had my one year anniversary on Thursday.  I agree with the mixed emotions.  It feels sooooo long ago that I got that horrible phone call.  So much has happened since.  I too am feeling good - I don't finish Herceptin until June though, so I still have a ways to go.  You're so lucky to be almost done.  And your hair is way longer than mine - considering we were both April chemo girls.  Mine is only about 1-1.5 inches I think.  But I did have chemo all the way through August, so I'm sure that's why.  Congratulations on your one year mark - and best wishes for great news with your scans.

Sara 

tpcjkk

Hi,

It's been a very long time since I checked/posted on this thread.  I finished chemo in July and rads in September 2010--seems so long ago.  Had my one year mammo last month, and all is good.

HOWEVER, Sara's comments about obsessing with mets caught my attention.  I wondered if it was just me, but I do the same thing...cruise the Stage IV boards, worry about each little ache and pain...aaarrrgh!!  I've tried to pinpoint why I do this, since it grows the anxiety, but I find myself getting caught up in people's heartbreaking stories.  I've had a couple of friends be diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer and Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the past 6 months, and think, "I'm next."  

I guess (hope) it will just take some time.

Congrats to everyone from our April 2010 group that has finished or is about to finish soon! 

~Julie 

dutchgirl6

Julie, I also wonder about every ache, twinge and itch.  I think that this is normal, at least that is what I am telling myself .  How can it not be, after all that we have been through?  From what I understand, it does get better, but for the most part it is still quite fresh in our minds.  I read about the "two week rule", that is, if something doesn't go away after two weeks, it should be investigated.  So, that is my way of dealing with things, and so far, I haven't really had anything that I felt might be an issue. 

Have a lovely Sunday everyone.  It's snowing here, but not too cold.  I'm heading out to walk the dog.  

marcy4

Hello Ladies

I have not posted for a long time, but frequently read the posts to see how everyone is doing.  I agree that the one year mark is an emotional time.  I finished my chemo in September and rads the end of November. I still go for Herceptin every 3 weeks and will not finish until the end of July.  Most of the time I feel great, but often have anxious and emotional episodes when I return to the Chemo Ward for my Herceptin every 3 weeks.  It brings back so many memories when I see people who are obviously there for their first chemo treatment. I had a mammogram this past Wednesday and walking down the hall to the room in the hospital was not easy.  If my husband didn't have a hold of my hand, I likely would have ran.  I should hear about it in a week or so.  Like everyone else, any little pain makes me think there is a problem. On the other hand though, we all made it and are stronger and wiser because of it.  Life is too short to worry about what may happen.  I was watching a movie today with my son, and it was about a young boy who was talking to himself as an adult and being told what would happen in his life as he was growing up.  My teenage son said,"I would hate knowing what was going to happen in my future".  And I thought ...Me too.  Let's how for a LONG and healthy future for all of us.  Gloria

DancerMel28

Hi girls,

Like everyone I'm coming up to my one year. Have mammogram and ultrasound booked in for next week (valentines day of all things!) and I've made sure I've got my husband comingn with me after last year - I'm just not sure that I'm going to be able to go back into that room, such a scary thing.

Glad to hear everyone is doing ok.  I resumed full time work last week - I'm still tired but am coping ok overall and feeling better every day.

Good luck to everyone having to undergo tests soon!

arubajan05

Me too!  I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary on Feb. 22nd.  I have mixed emotions.  This has been such a crazy year, but I have learned alot about myself and my relationship with my husband has really strengthened over the past year.  As I am reading about all of you going in for your annual mammogram I realize that I am really grateful for my clinic... I had mine a month ago and it was normal and they told me right then and there. I didn't have to wait. They said since I had had BC that for the next 5 years someone would read the mammo while I was in the office.  I was so worried about going home and having to wait for the result.  And then after the appt I guess I thought everybody did it that way. 
I have been feeling good but the last 2 weeks I have been fighting off a terrible cough and cold. I am headed to my general practitioner today. It was scheduled as an annual physical but hopefully she can give me something to cope with this. I have gone through 5 boxes of kleenex in the last 3 days.... Arghhh... and we have beautiful weather here in CA; I can't blame it on snow!  LOL

(((BIG HUGS))) To all!

toughmom38

OK, had my brain MRI and CT scans on chest, abdomen and pelvis today.  Should have the results for my doctor appt on Thursday.  Let's find out if all this chemo did it's job!!!  They were all clear a year ago, so they better still be that way.  If they can't find anything, I'm a GO on being deported 3/18, the week after my last Herceptin.  What a year it has been!!! 

Jennifer

JenC

Well, I am with the rest of you.  One year since diagnosis and like alot of you still thinking what if it comes back.  I do a self exam on the right breast I would say every other day because I need to know if anything changes.  My doc said not to do that because I wont really know if there is a change but I cant seem to help it.  I try but you all know how that goes.  Glad you have all hit the year mark with me and that you have all been here with your support over the last year.  It has meant so much to me....

shygal

Arubajan....you are bang on about my headaches. Turns out I have a sinus infection.  So far one course of antibiotics hasn't resolved it so I'm on my 2nd prescription...sure hope it works.  I had my one year anniversary of my diagnosis just recently too and constantly obsess about something coming back.  My weird thing now is that my radiated breast kind of feels fake.  It seems to be getting firmer and firmer and the texture is weird.  Will the fun and games ever stop?  how about those hot flashes...does anyone know if they are ever going to stop?  I am still awakened anywhere between 4 and 8 times a night with them and it's driving me crazy.

shells43

Well gals,

This week is my one year anniversary of dx. Thursday will be one year since my MX. One positive thing about being one year out, I saw my Rad Onc today (a new one in the same office saw me) and was pronounced good for 6 months! And it was a woman, by the way, and she asked me about hot flashes and other feminine issues  Shygal, she said if they became a problem she would give me Effexor or Paxil which work very well. In the past, I have mentioned the problem to both Oncs (men) who did not offer any relief. I didn't take her up on it though because since I started taking Ambien last week to help me sleep (was terrible tired) I have been able to sleep right through them!!! She did say that you get used to the Ambien over time and when it quit working to see her for the prescription for Effexor. It makes a huge difference to get a good night's sleep, let me say. I feel great! So please ask for something.

dutchgirl6

Hi Shelley.  I would say Happy Anniversary, but who wants to celebrate that?  But, yay, for not having to see the RadOnc for six months!  I'm glad that she listened to your concerns, and did something to address them.  Sisters have to stick together.

On that note, Happy International Women's Day to the strongest and most inspiring women I have had the privilege to know!

Sleep well everyone.

Emme

Hi Ladies, It has been a while since I checked in.  I was reading about all of the milestone anniversaries that have been passing.  My first year anniversary was Last November.  I had chemo, then the bmx, and the final chemo.  I remember how i was feeling on that day.  It does make you reflect on the whole damn ride we have been experiencing.

My herceptin tx have been suspended.  My heart functions are down and the cardiologist put me on a beta blocker.  She said between the Adriamycin and the herceptin, my heart needs a break,  The Onc told me to give it a few months and we will reevaluate.  I am having a hysterectomy on april 1st.  I  have an end in sight!

Ladies i take effexor.  I was on a low dose because I was taking 2 different anti depressants.  I had tons of hotflashes...covers on covers off all night   My susbscriber changed my meds a couple of months ago.  She took me off of the welbutrin and increased my dosage of the effexor.  It is great, the hotflashes have subsided considerably. Thank heavens!

I am headed to North Carolina on friday.  A visit with my daughter. I can't wait...warm weather would be lovely too!

talk to you all very soon

Em

toughmom38

Hi, ladies!!!  Had my last Herceptin yesterday and get deported next week.  Don't have another appointment with my oncologist until June!  It's amazing what little things make me happy these days...  Hope everyone is doing great!!!

Jennifer

shells43

WOO HOO! Congrats on being done! Take a little BC vacation....

saralmom

Congrats toughmom!!

lexie5

I finished chemo in August and my period came back in February.  I'm 47 and my onc said it would not come back.  Oops.  I bet many of you don't know that Tamoxifen is also used as a fertility drug so now I have to worry about getting pregnant.  I'm ER+ so the pill won't work.  I've never had children so IUD is not a good idea.  Wish my hubby would get snipped but he won't.  I finished recontruction surgery last week.  Sooo glad to get rid of the tissue expanders!  Ended up a "B" instead of a "C".  Guess I have to go bra/bikini shopping.  Hope you are all well.  My 1 year anniversary is next week....St. Patty's day.  One year down!

dutchgirl6

lexie5, are you sure it's your period?  I don't want to worry you, but when this happened to a friend of mine, she was tested for uterine cancer (negative), apparently Tamoxifen increases your risk.  Have you mentioned it to you dr?

Congrats toughmom, that is something to celebrate.

Emme, I hope you are enjoying your visit with your daughter.  It's been quite a year for you, some warm weather and sunshine might be just what you need.

toughmom38

I got deported this morning!!!  Also had some fat grafting from my thighs and butt to fill in the "ripples" in my reconstruction.  I already have some major bruising on my thighs and butt, where my port was and smaller bruises where the fat was injected in my breasts.  But I am so excited to have that port out!!!  It feels so much better and it no longer hurts to hug people!  (Before, whenever I hugged someone the port squished into my chest muscle and was very uncomfortable).

I hope everyone has a great weekend!  I believe I will spend much of it napping and taking a few pain pills...

Jennifer

dutchgirl6

Well, here it is, April 1.  A year ago today, we were all facing the daunting prospect of chemo, some of us had started already.  We all made it through, with different experiences and degrees of side effects, and we were here for each other.  This board has been pretty quiet recently, I guess that we are all getting on with the business of everyday living.  I don't know about the rest of you, but more than anything else, having chemo really made me face the reality of having cancer.  I know I've said it before, but I am so grateful that I found bco, and this discussion group, you helped me get through my darkest days.  I just want to say hi and that I am thinking of you.

Take care, all.

Karin

shygal

Hi Ladies.....It is hard to believe it's been a year since we started our Chemo journey....in some ways, it has gone incredibly fast but in so many ways it seems like a lifetime ago.  I think of you all often and hope everyone is doing well.

PS:  My curls are starting to straighten out and my hair is starting to look much more like my regular hair.  If you didn't know about my cancer, you'd think I just had a regular short hair cut.

saralmom

Hi shygal and dutchgirl - and all of our April chemo friends.  Last year at this time I could NOT imagine being done and through all of that.  We made it through something so hard - dark days like dutchgirl said.  My days feel much brighter now - still have 2 Herceptin treatments, and then I'll switch over to 3 month appointments.  My hair is crazy.  About 2 inches long but really curly - shygal you give me hope that maybe the curls are temporary!!  I hat them and don't know how to deal with them.

Now I'm on Tamoxifen and have no side effects.  I've just started trying to lose the 10 pounds+ that I ganed over the last year.  Slow for sure.They say it gets harder in our 40's, so I'm not surprised it's slow - especially with the claims that Tamox can pack on pounds. 

Hope everyone is feeling good and doing well!!! 

shells43

Hi April Ladies,

I got my first haircut in a year today! Woo hoo! It looks pretty good. Got some of the crazy chemo curls cut out, but have new cowlicks apparently, my stylist said. I just think she isn't used to cutting it so short.

Hope you are all doing well and getting on with happy things that got put off during the last year. Happy Easter and Passover!

Shelley

JenC

Hello girls.  Hope you all had a great Easter.  It felt so good to have easter with my son and feel good and not wrrying about what the year will hold.  DONE IT ALL.....  My hair is about 3 1/2 inches long and just got it highlighted a couple weeks ago.  Finally back to some normal color since it came back way darker than before.  I have curls and waives which I have never had before and really liking it.  Hope they stay but we will see once my hair grows more.  Hope youare all doing well. 

Sara - I know what you mean about slow weight loss.  I put on about 35 pounds over the last year and it went on way easier than it is comming off...

shells43

Hey JenC! You look great! Glad to see your post and that you are feeling good. I think our group is off living life, which is awesome. It's funny how obsessed I've become with my hair, I guess it's because of not having any for so long. We were strong & bald when we had to be, but now I'm getting picky about how it looks. I'm usually a "wash & go" girl, but I'm paying more attention to it.

I've lost 8 lbs by cutting out a lot of fat/dairy, for those trying. My cholesterol was up since taking arimidex, so my GP said to cut out some of that, and voila! The weight started coming off without much effort. I feel good.

Blessings to all!

JenC

Shelleyj43 - I am obsessing about the hair thing to.  Small things hu:)  Feel more like "myself" now that I have some back and colored.  I am hoping to start dropping the weight soon.  Gata change the diet but it will be good for the whole family.   Hope everyone is doing well. 

kad22

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it has been so long! Just couldn't get myself on here without feeling sick and having to think about everything. It will be a year Sept. 24 for me to be completely done with everything!! My hair is sooo curly - I hate it but at least it is hair right?!

Just feeling really depressed lately and needed some guidance I guess. I had implants and just hate them. They look fine when I have a bra on but can't get myself to be physical with my husband - sorry if that is too much info. but I just hate my body image right now. Any advice?

Glad to hear that we are moving past this experience in our lives. Hope to hear from some of you.  Kelli

shells43

Hey Kelli!

I have the curls too, have had 2 hair cuts and still it curls like crazy. I just had my one year PFC party Aug 16th. It is hard to believe a year has gone by already.

I'm sorry you are having problems with your implants. I didn't do any recon and I'm still happy with my decision. I know some have had them removed because of complications or pain. Is that an option? Do you think you would be happier without them?  My hubby doesn't mind my flat side (he does still love the other side better), but he isn't turned off or anything. Sometimes I wear a bra under my nighty to give the illusion...but it always comes off eventually!! :P Trust me, your husband is not nearly as picky as you are.  I think it took longer for me to get used to it than him. Try to love the new you and let yourself be happy.

kad22

Thanks Shelley - it's nice to hear something positive said to me once in a while!!

Congrats on your 1 yr. PFC!! It is soo exciting!

Take care!

Kelli

lexie5

Has anyone had a recurrence?  I found a new lump this morning.  Here we go again.