Returning To Work *Vent*

carpediemocc

I have been back at work full time (no appointments YAY!) for about 3 months now. I don't know if I'm just more sensitive after this cancer experience or if I would take offense to these people even if I had not been through this hell of cancer.

I have been talked down to by one of the 20 something years younger than me set. Such as "Hey, way to take notes" after not taking notes during a software presentation, which I already knew how to use, therefore didn't have to take notes. Also this same "kid" was complaining about not being able to afford this $800 Boxer pup. I suggested she try a rescue. She gave me a "how stupid can you be look" and said, "They don't have these kinds of dogs at rescues duh!" *rolls eyes* 

 Also within the last month I was given "advice" by a new hire on how to get out of my relationship without a lot of drama. Did she have me confused with someone else? Who had she been talking to about me? Hmmm? Why in the world would someone who has learned nothing from me about me have the nerve to suggest me getting out of my relationship?

Not to mention the person who I have assumed gave this new hire my entire history has always got some thing to say about how well her cousin is handling her chemo. She's gone walking, biking and gosh she's just full of energy! Then goes on to say that SHE thinks how well one does on chemo has a lot to do with their attitude. Oh so when I was too nauseous to move while on chemo I just needed to adjust my "attitude" How simple!

Just the other day she had a comment about how these doctors need to find another way to do mastectomy without making it look so "ugly" and how her sister now has breast cancer from the radiation she received 25 years ago for non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. blah blah blah

This same woman's sister came to the company Christmas party and was going on and on about boob jobs and how I need to get them bigger than what I think would be adequate on account of how they shrink. WTH? I don't believe I've ever mentioned um getting the one replaced! What if I really don't care to?!

 The last straw was at a department meeting to announce our new big shot boss, new big shot welcomes the new hires and then looks at me and in front of the whole group asks if this experience has helped me to stop smoking. ?!?!?!?! Seriously?

I have resigned myself to stay in my office and only talk to these people when and if I have to. After all there are a handful of more compassionate people in our department I can converse with if I feel a need to.

Sheesh!

Thanks for the vent sisters!

Yours truly,

 Marti

lovinmomma

That is totally obnoxious!!!! I am so sorry for you!

AnnNYC

Marti, that is just awful -- seems so wrong, but I know it's hard to complain to HR when it's the CEO violating the privacy of your medical info... But it's outrageous!  Just take care of you, and to he!! with all those jerks... and yes, I think I would find those 20-somethings offensive no matter what my health circumstances!!!

Sheeeshhhh..... indeed!

idaho

Shame on them ...makes you almost wish they could have the cancer "experience" and see how well their "attitudes" get them through it.. God bless you ... and I wish you peace and health...Tami

Jean09

Hi Marti,

I can relate with the frustration your going through upon returning to work after bc treatments.  I have been with my company for 10+ years when diagnosised.  Took 8 months off for treatment and when I returned I was demoted, went from salary to hourly and a 20+ year old co-worker who's only been there for 3+ years got the supervisor job (the job I was suppose to get) over my department.  I am currently searching for another job.  I may also seek legal advice for all the torment they have put me through (long story), but the HR dept does not have thier act together.

All I can say is hang in there and be confident.  You have been through hell and you dont have to take crap from anyone.  I believe in KARMA, what comes around goes around.  They will get theirs in the end...

Jean09

Could anyone offer advice on what is a good "reason for leaving" your current job?  I could say, closer to home, company merger, looking for change....   I need an intellectual reason if anyone could give some suggestions, I would be so grateful.

hollyann

When I went back to work I had similar experiences.....The young kids tried to teach me how to do a job I had been doing since before they were even born!........It got to the pint that I went to my union steward and complained..It took a few months but they finally figured out they were not in charge of me I was in charge of them!........Sheesh.......

Anonymous

Hey Jean...my understanding from a Director of an HR department at a company I used to work for, is that the HR department works for the company not necessarily the employees.  It may be totally different at your company, however, you just might want to err on the side of caution about how much you want to tell them.

junie

Jean--Madalyn's advice is great.   And, during an interview never badmouth a former employer or co-worker.   Sometimes, a twist of humor can work wonders--or it can backfire on you.   It's such a crap shoot!   Years ago, I filled out a job application (by hand---way back in the day when even electric typewriters were far in the future...   In those days, if you weren't working, the norm to answer Current Job was "unemployed".   I didn't like that, so I wrote "Housewife".   Next block is reason for leaving current position.    I wrote, "Duties are too demanding".   Long story short, that netted me several interviews with a company and an entry level job offer that led to a wonderful career that spanned 34 years.   There are so many  "reason for leaving" catch phrases.   Try to find one that isn't too "canned"; something that might catch someone's eye.   Was on the hiring end for many years and always looked for that unique but not bizarre application.

Good luck!!     

iodine

Back to the kids: just feel sorry for their parents: wonder how their mom, if she knew how, taught them good manners.  I've even look astonished at some young'uns and Asked them if their Mom knew they talked that way and Where did they learn they had the right to ask/discuss such personal things with Anyone! at work.